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#526
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Thank you for the warm words. I had a bad day yesterday. Came home and didn't go out except to walk my dog by my front door. I was feeling really isolated and without purpose. I feel better today and your encouragement helps. Thanks
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![]() Luce
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![]() Luce
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#527
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Sooooo glad to be back in the study place tonight. Home was very dissociative and triggering. I like here. Little one did a happy dance. No more big bad wolf!
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![]() TrailRunner14
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#528
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Today was sunny and I went to my trail!!
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"What is denied, cannot be healed." - Brennan Manning "Hope knows that if great trials are avoided, great deeds remain undone and the possibility of growth into greatness of soul is aborted." - Brennan Manning |
#529
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i've spent today, trying to set up my own email address
but I did it and I now have my own email christine |
#530
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I still cannot believe complex dissociation is true.... (in myself).
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Crazy, inside and aside Meds: bye bye meds CPTSD and some sort of depression and weird perceptions "Outwardly: dumbly, I shamble about, a thing that could never have been known as human, a
thing whose shape is so alien a travesty that humanity becomes more obscene for the vague resemblance." I have no mouth and I must scream -Harlan Ellison- |
#531
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George smoked a whole pack of cigarettes yesterday.
Frustrating, I (we) are trying to quit.
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#532
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This weekend was a blur I kind of remember feeling happy and then feeling like I wasn't really anywhere like I was lost or something. I remember cooking and stuff and washing some clothes but that is about it. Today was alright I guess. Felt like trying to learn something today but then I got to cooking and well here I am now so yeah...
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"If I'm going to have a past, I prefer it to be multiple choice." ~ Joker ~ "You are only as stupid as you let yourself be." ~ Anon ~ |
#533
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difficult day today
Possible trigger:
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![]() bornunderabadsign
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#534
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I have a t appointment tomorrow with my new t. I am scared to death about it. I have no idea who will be there. My brain is spinning thinking about it. I can't miss it because it was hard to get this appointment. I hope I get there.
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#535
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Possible trigger:
apart from that, I lost a bit of time yesterday (only like an hour/ 2 hours) none of us got sleep again not really feeling anything at the moment |
#536
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lost time yesterday (again)
lighter day though. that being said, we don't feel any better (but suppose it's nice to have less stress) |
#537
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Saw my t. She said DID is rare. I didn't argue it. I don't care what my diagnosis is. I just needed to know I could talk to someone. I just want to know if things get to be too much I can talk about it. She is my age and seems to be patient. Two of us were out at session. Not intentionally but I made the appointment but when my t asked about work someone else talked about it. I know that we worked but it takes too long for me to get the information and than talk about it. Besides I think the worker wanted to show t that we can appear and be very functional in the world. I am not in the world like that. It was a good session, I will see her once a month for now. I don't want to do trauma work. After session I was exhausted and depressed.
Even today I was slow to get up and only went out to walk the dog. I don't like being seen. It unnerves me. |
#538
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honestly glad it's the weekend
making it through another really bad week is quite an acheevement my only hope for this weekend is that I can actually remember what goes on (no time loss, please) christine was felt this afternoon and I was asked by the person I was with at the time.. is christine trying to come out? |
#539
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I often ask myself why do I even try. Every time I start to build some momentum something triggers me and I lose track of what I was doing or what I was going to do. I feel like I live a moment at a time in a weird disjointed story where the main character has no idea what is going on and just tries to roll with it. I would like to move forward but I can't seem to move forward. I'm always side stepping or taking a step back.
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"If I'm going to have a past, I prefer it to be multiple choice." ~ Joker ~ "You are only as stupid as you let yourself be." ~ Anon ~ |
#540
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awake all night.
took a shower this morning which made us feel absolutely disgusting now just feel ugg i'm just going to wait for my drinks delivery and be boring |
#541
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A lot of gaps happening. It's been frightening for me because I'm used to being more in front and in charge, keeping tabs and getting things done. When any of the others are out front without me around, they have been causing problems, like losing a dog for a period of time. I don't know if they did that on purpose or not. It's horrifying to me. I am not like that.
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![]() Anonymous48690, Luce, OliverB
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#542
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I am completely spaced out. Keep reading my notes to know what I have to do.
Feel confused ![]() Quote:
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__________________
Crazy, inside and aside Meds: bye bye meds CPTSD and some sort of depression and weird perceptions "Outwardly: dumbly, I shamble about, a thing that could never have been known as human, a
thing whose shape is so alien a travesty that humanity becomes more obscene for the vague resemblance." I have no mouth and I must scream -Harlan Ellison- |
![]() Anonymous48690, ruh roh
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#543
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Having a really hard time.
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![]() Anonymous48690
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#544
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We need to see our therapist soon. Ihope that the time moves fast so we can see her and she can help us get stable again. We're doing everything we nknwow to do but this is bad. A lot of triggering from the family. Sorry for posting. This is a hard time. everything is erupting. A lot of gaps still.
I want to be back in charge of daily things. |
![]() Anonymous48690
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#545
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Physically tired. We work 6 days a week and the guys hurt this body and I get to deal with it on the one day off. Now I have to clean house, shopping, laundry....
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#546
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Okay....just spent the last 2 hours sipping coffee perusing online. Our 1/2 day off is now over...time to do homework!
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#547
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we made it to the end of the weekend without time loss (so posting here about it does pay off. lol)
did have some pretty violent flashbacks today though, and 1 yesterday, so it's not all good news tomorrow is our body's birthday, and none of us are looking forward to it (we never do, because the whole thing is such a guilt trip) we are going to have chinese takeaway though. attempt to at least treat ourselves.. we've not had chinese since last year |
![]() Anonymous48690
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#548
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Quote:
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#549
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We shopped ($100.00), sterilized the bathroom, 2 loads of laundry, swept mopped vacuumed, made guacamole, cooked a teriyaki steak dinner...dishes forever,...time for a few beers...shower...beer...
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![]() Luce, ruh roh
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#550
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thanks I am 30 (getting old) I feel about 100, I guess that's why |
Closed Thread |
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