[Aardwolf]

Another day to get through. We thought last night would be the end. We are selfish and ungrateful for wishing it had been.

Never was so happy for a work Monday before after all the crap that happened on Sunday. This is for now on their thing....I'm sticking to work.

[bornunderabadsign]

It doesn't happen very often but yesterday we were talking to our mom and I think it was because we were talking about our childhood and the things that were good and bad about it and we switched back and forth so much that I had trouble keeping up with what was actually said. She understands what DID is and claims to have it too but she seems to be more Bipolar than anything (I'm not a T so I can't say for sure) but for the first time she actually admitted that she knew something was wrong with me but for a long time didn't know how to deal with it.

I'm calling that a win. Person who is partially responsible for the isolation and controlling behavior that lead to my current state admitted she could have been wrong and didn't address it when it first was apparent.

Originally Posted by bornunderabadsign

It doesn't happen very often but yesterday we were talking to our mom and I think it was because we were talking about our childhood and the things that were good and bad about it and we switched back and forth so much that I had trouble keeping up with what was actually said. She understands what DID is and claims to have it too but she seems to be more Bipolar than anything (I'm not a T so I can't say for sure) but for the first time she actually admitted that she knew something was wrong with me but for a long time didn't know how to deal with it.

I'm calling that a win. Person who is partially responsible for the isolation and controlling behavior that lead to my current state admitted she could have been wrong and didn't address it when it first was apparent.

I think it's great you have such an understanding mother (I wish I had that!)

count yourself lucky. explaining mental health to family isn't always easy, and it does not always end well
we got a package from our family in the post yesterday

urg, urg. (more than urg actually)

made us really switchy, and also really afraid

Got about 3 hours asleep last night. 3:00....3:06....3:20.....amazing how what feels like 30-60 minutes can fit in 6 minutes!

[Claritytoo]

extremely depressed today. got up early felt like ****. fell asleep on the couch for a few hours and woke up just as depressed as when I laid down. i watched a movie just to get out of my head. How am I going to do this if I need to be distracted from myself

[Aardwolf]

Got up, went to hospital, came back.

[bornunderabadsign]

I got up this morning. I know that for sure and I know I ate and that I did some laundry because I'm not hungry and there is dry stuff in the dryer. I however have no memory of doing any of it.

just another depressing, and boring wednesday.

gonna order groceries later though

that's about it

Possible trigger:

I am so fed up of living

[TrailRunner14]

Sorry................:

[TrailRunner14]

Sorry............

wishing something would happen.

just anything..

[Claritytoo]

Went to my t yesterday. I was extremely depressed, my t made me promise I would hurt myself. I didn't tell her I had thought of suicide because I didn't want to go to the hospital. My t suggested I contact a psychiatrist and explained she felt ill equipped to help me other that to allow me to have a safe place. I have an appointment with a psychiatrist. I also explained to her all I need right now is a safe place. I am still feeling depressed. I got outside and that helped. I had to go food shopping and that caused an anxiety attack. I went home and hid for a while than went outside. I hate food shopping. Still depressed but better.

[Claritytoo]

I am glad I am able to get my thoughts out here. It helps to dump it out and to see what i wrote later. i tried keeping a journal but i am paranoid about writing things down where they might be found. Still depressed, everything is very quite inside. maybe we are all just exhausted. Something Amanda told me roams around in my mind. She said often once a part see and accepts that their job can be done by another they integrate. (paraphrasing) I do want to meet my original. I know she is still here.

Originally Posted by Claritytoo

Went to my t yesterday. I was extremely depressed, my t made me promise I would hurt myself. I didn't tell her I had thought of suicide because I didn't want to go to the hospital. My t suggested I contact a psychiatrist and explained she felt ill equipped to help me other that to allow me to have a safe place. I have an appointment with a psychiatrist. I also explained to her all I need right now is a safe place. I am still feeling depressed. I got outside and that helped. I had to go food shopping and that caused an anxiety attack. I went home and hid for a while than went outside. I hate food shopping. Still depressed but better.

oh dear.

I think this post needs editing a little

it says that your T made you promise you would hurt yourself.

just pointing that out

rough couple of days.

depression, flashbacks, the odd suicidal thought, terrible imsomnia.... nothing new or out the ordenary
not doing too bad today but still really low.

[Claritytoo]

I want to stop taking Xanax so I am going to see a psychiatrist on monday to see if there is another medication instead of a benzo. I have been taking it for 9 years everyday. I think that I should stop. But I know I have to have help stopping because I have taken it for so long. I don't take a lot, like 1.5 mg per day. but I have been taking it for a long time and I think I am starting to have withdrawal symptoms between doses. Either way I just want to stop

[bornunderabadsign]

Another day where I seem to doing stuff but other than the evidence that I have already done a few things don't feel like I have done anything.

[TrailRunner14]

A thread I started was moved to another sub forum. It has triggered me all over the place.

I feel like I've been rejected and thrown into a group of people I don't know or trust with my thoughts or feelings. This is very scary to me. I feel like I did something wrong. I don't like this.

[childofchaos831]

Originally Posted by TrailRunner14

A thread I started was moved to another sub forum. It has triggered me all over the place.

I feel like I've been rejected and thrown into a group of people I don't know or trust with my thoughts or feelings. This is very scary to me. I feel like I did something wrong. I don't like this.

I am so sorry that happened. I hope someone can explain why it was moved, without even asking. I know for me, I have the same thing, certain people or groups that I am comfortable with, and it would disturb me to have my "issues" thrown out for others to see without my permission...

[TrailRunner14]

Originally Posted by childofchaos831

I am so sorry that happened. I hope someone can explain why it was moved, without even asking. I know for me, I have the same thing, certain people or groups that I am comfortable with, and it would disturb me to have my "issues" thrown out for others to see without my permission...

Thank you for hearing me!! This is so very uncomfortable for me. I truly don't understand.

I wish I knew why or what I did wrong.

Thank you!

[childofchaos831]

Originally Posted by TrailRunner14

Thank you for hearing me!! This is so very uncomfortable for me. I truly don't understand.

I wish I knew why or what I did wrong.

Thank you!

I don't think you did anything wrong. A mod probably just thought you would get more replies there, or that it was meant to be there, and posted in the dissociative forum by mistake. Most likely just a misunderstanding. I think the main issue for me would be the not asking before just moving it...

[TrailRunner14]

Yes. I think that is the main issue with me. It truly feels violating.

I posted on the thread they moved and asked them to remove it.

[childofchaos831]

That's great for standing up for what you need!

[Alhambra]

Hi. My name is Alhambra. I have DID and well we just wanted to say hi.