eating disorder's daily check in spot

Been misusing food over the past several months to stuff emotions arising from intense C-PTSD Flashback. Also been self-injuring in other ways ...



I know better than this ... !!! ... Therefore, I've resolved to quit utilizing old, ineffective coping mechanisms to deal with the flashback.

http://forums.psychcentral.com/post-...flashback.html

I think I'm going to be okay now that I've called it by name and removed some of its power.

At least until the next time ...

Which I hope isn't for another several years at least!

That's awesome Grey!! Congrats!!

Still loving that I get all sorts of super healthy food at my new job! It's so nice to only have to think about 1 meal a day!! Today for breakfast we had bagels and cream cheese (and bananas)...I ate a bagel, even though I shouldn't eat gluten...and for lunch we had lentil soup, barley risotto (didn't eat that because barley is a HUGE no-no for gluten intolerance) and pears. And then at snack time, I had apples and sun butter (sunflower seed butter -- similar to peanut butter -- sort of, but allergen free).

I have been scared. Because I am older and have been on the weight yoyo, my skin is much bigger than my body. So most people do not see what I have been doing. It has been scaring me. But still I have kept losing. The doctor told me to stop. I said of course I will. But I didnt. I am so physically sick. And still have been losing. I have bed sores on the tailbone. Two days ago I ate 3 apples. My friend brought them to me. And I cooked them in a pan with water. Today I bought 2 apples. I cooked them and ate them. Then my friend brought me 2 more. I am so scared because physically I have been so sick for a couple of months. so I ate the other 2 apples. cooked. I have very mixed feelings about having done this. But I am trying anything I can to try to repair the damage to the digestive system that keeps me so sick.

Today was a semi-good day. I had a healthy lunch of homemade tacos, and then a variety of salads for dinner, then had some cheese, meat, and crackers as a snack. Ana is still wanting me to restrict but I am not letting her win. I can't afford to go backwards in my recovery. Forward is the only direction I will allow myself to go.

Struggled over the weekend, but got more on track today, thanks to work. I don't even know what I ate today at lunch (some kind of curry with chickpeas and a bunch of other stuff), but I know it was uber healthy! Lol. Missing a few things, but oh well. Am seeing N tomorrow and feeling good about it.

Someone in my family ruined my healthy body image I have been gaining.

Now I feel fat and useless again. I always will be.

Woohoo! My nutritionist is so pleased with how I've been doing we're going 3 weeks until our next appointment! That's the longest we've ever done!! And she's loving my new job as much as I am since I get exercise (a mile and a half of walking to and from the bus) and good nutrition out of it!

You deserve truth. He slammed you with lies. I promise that you are neither fat or useless. But I understand that you are back in the thick of it, thinking that you are.

I am sorry he did that to you. The power you reclaimed was real. And even though he took that from you... again, I totally think you will reclaim your truth again. And I am not just saying that. I really can feel that you will.

I did a lot of very heavy gardening today. Digging out a lot of plants that had very strong roots. Spent 2 hours doing that. Ate 2 apples. Along with soup. A bit scary. But I did it. I wanted more. I really wanted those blondies with extra chocolate chips that I baked for my neighbor. But I put conventional peanutbutter topping on them as soon as they were cool enough. I did that so I would not eat one. I do not eat conventional peanutbutter. But he does. Whatever it takes to not eat it.

Dearest Teen,
You are doing so well. Don't let this be an excuse to give in to ED!!

A wise person in recovery told me this, which I share with you. NO ONE can ruin your body image if you don't let them. It's yours. A few posts ago you were feeling positive, healthier and happier. Reclaim that! Honor your progress. Be mad at the family member for invading your boundaries, but DO NOT take it on as truth. You are not your body or your body image.


Bub

Hai,

My Kid is suffering from ED, He couldn't control his tongue, He is frustrated and he is denying his all meal plan... Could you please advise me, how he can rectify this??

Thank you so much, Sun. I fought really hard and I refused to let it get the best of me. For the night I was distraught and angry at myself and hating him. But it passed. And I told myself "I am feeling better. I can do this." and I've stuck to my meal plans and I have gained a bit more weight, and if he thinks I am fat, then whatever because I am feeling so much better. Being able to actually do things (despite pain) is something I am so happy with and proud of.

"You are not your body or your body image" I really need to keep that in mind.

I am still doing well, and I am ignoring any comments he has to make towards me. He always thinks it's a joke, but you don't joke with a topic like this. Especially when you fought for years for your child to eat. I got this. I'll be okay.

<3

Merr...body image and self confidence have gone down. Feeling very fat today and thinking I look gross. But still able to eat. Gotta keep moving forward.

You got this, Sing <3

Well then you made sure to take his words and use them to actually make you stronger. You did it !! you rock.

I just saw a picture of myself from a few days ago and one from last year and wow I look so much HEALTHIER now, that was a really big, but good, shock.

I've put on 33 pounds in the last couple of years and I can really feel it on my knees, back, etc.

Yet another day feeling absolutely gross. Even after being told I looked good yesterday and today And what's worse is when I went grocery shopping, I bought a cake mix and buttercream frosting...and as much as I want cupcakes, I feel like I'm too fat to eat one.

Had a great weekend with great food, but ate only a bowl of mac and cheese and 2 cookies today. The only problem I had was dinner Saturday, my foods were touching, and that I cannot stand.

Doing well! I now work with food, so the fears I have are growing less and less. I've been eating my food plan really well!

Not doing very well still. Today was DEFINITELY a restricted one...it's quarter to 9 and I haven't eaten anything since lunch at 11:30. All I've had since then is a latte from Starbucks...

SDRL - sorry to hear this! Have you identified what is getting in your way? Are you and your T working on ways to overcome the problem and/or change the resuling behavior?

Part of it is that the novelty of having breakfast and lunch prepared for me at work has worn off, and I've settled into the routine so I'm just kind of like well...maybe I won't eat this or that. Part of it is that I've been sick this week, especially yesterday and today, and being sick makes everything worse.

Hi i have EDNOS i have been going into pro ana forums and getting info on the best way to starve myself
I make no apologizes for doing this with out those forums id be dead by now
as i can post about feeling suicidal and feeling like i need to self injure
I have found friends there and everyone get on well there
i will not say witch one it is

Am hardly eating ...My husband has made me a diet plan that i fallow i even have fast days or very low days i have one day a week where we can go out and eat but i also purge

Am Obese at the moment but am hoping to lose weight with hardly eating and exercise