[88Butterfly88]

I ate too much today.

[LucyD]

Originally Posted by 88Butterfly88

Awww, thanks so much..going to the doctor Sat. morning. I hope they'll give me a shot or something to take the pain away.

[Blue_Bird]

I guess I'll just say I hit rock bottom recently. I thought things were bad a few years ago but I realized it's about 10 times worse now... anyway.. my doctor is referring me to a nutritionist. She had done that a few years ago but I never followed through with it but I'm going to this time. I'm starting to feel optimistic about things. One of my meds was increased too and that's supposed to help. I feel okay today, I feel like I am ready for things to change.

good start to the week, but not so much the end.

one of my friends boyfriends had some sweets in his house he couldn't eat, so he gave them to me, and well.. of course that started off the overeating

I've now also ordered 3 big bags of sweets- so I don't think it looks too promising for next week if I'm honest

eaten my meals though, cleared the plate every evening

[Raging Quiet]

Ate a hot meal as part of self care

[Blueberrybook]

Reached a new low for weight...ED was happy, but I know it is not good especially as I plan to resume running tomorrow as I am pretty much over my UTI. I may be trending toward hypomania with the bipolar...it always makes me eat less by preoccupying myself with projects, and it feels like it increases my metabolism to boot...

Didn’t see my pdoc in person this month (phone call appointment); next month I go back in person. He upped the Adderall a bit, but I only took the first new dose this AM. Maybe the antibiotic is messing with my appetite, who knows. Plus, I have been drinking a lot of diet cranberry juice to help get over the UTI.

Originally Posted by Raging Quiet

Ate a hot meal as part of self care

cool what did you have

[Raging Quiet]

Originally Posted by raging vortex

cool what did you have

It was curried vegetables, rice and a few chips (fries) x

[Blueberrybook]

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

I guess I'll just say I hit rock bottom recently. I thought things were bad a few years ago but I realized it's about 10 times worse now... anyway.. my doctor is referring me to a nutritionist. She had done that a few years ago but I never followed through with it but I'm going to this time. I'm starting to feel optimistic about things. One of my meds was increased too and that's supposed to help. I feel okay today, I feel like I am ready for things to change.

Glad to hear you're ready to turn things around. You actually have to want recovery and follow through to get results...imagine that. I saw such an awesome group of nutritionists when I first moved to Houston for grad school. First, they saw me on a sliding scale since I had no insurance; second, they were all recovered from EDs. It was really like having nutrition and counselling sessions packed in one.

I need to get into a better mindset myself. It happens now and then, I have minor relapses, never so bad as the original recovery starting point though. I saw a PA for a UTI earlier this week, and he was practically thrusting nutritionist info and pamphlets at me. I'm sure if my regular PCP had been available, she might have sent me off for some bloodwork but not reacted so drastically as I've been seeing her 14 years now, she's seen me at some really bad lows.

[Blueberrybook]

Originally Posted by Raging Quiet

Ate a hot meal as part of self care

Way to go!

[LucyD]

I got my blood sugar to normal today! Now to keep on doing it..every day.

[Blue_Bird]

Originally Posted by LucyD

I got my blood sugar to normal today! Now to keep on doing it..every day.

That's great, congrats!

[Blue_Bird]

Originally Posted by cln1812

Glad to hear you're ready to turn things around. You actually have to want recovery and follow through to get results...imagine that. I saw such an awesome group of nutritionists when I first moved to Houston for grad school. First, they saw me on a sliding scale since I had no insurance; second, they were all recovered from EDs. It was really like having nutrition and counselling sessions packed in one.

That's awesome! I was kind of fighting with myself with whether I wanted to be healthy or whether I wanted to get to my "ideal" (aka ridiculous) weight. I was torn in two. I think that caused me to keep heading in the wrong direction, the part that was pulling me toward that was small but strong. Now I am 100% committed to being healthy. I always knew the health risks associated with the disorder but I kind of ignored them and pushed them aside as things that "are unlikely to happen to me" I'm not sure why but it recently got through to me the reality of how dangerous this stuff really is.

[katydid777]

I am so bad, I didn't eat last night, and I haven't eaten yet today and it is already 11:00 this morning. I will make myself eat something soon, only bc I have to take my hart meds, and if I don't eat something the meds make me dizzy.

[Blueberrybook]

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

That's awesome! I was kind of fighting with myself with whether I wanted to be healthy or whether I wanted to get to my "ideal" (aka ridiculous) weight. I was torn in two. I think that caused me to keep heading in the wrong direction, the part that was pulling me toward that was small but strong. Now I am 100% committed to being healthy. I always knew the health risks associated with the disorder but I kind of ignored them and pushed them aside as things that "are unlikely to happen to me" I'm not sure why but it recently got through to me the reality of how dangerous this stuff really is.

Yeah, the health risks are definitely not great. I got osteopenia in my 20’s. I’m 40 now and still carrying this baggage around. I also started grinding my teeth while sleeping, they say due to lack of nutrients, and I can’t stop it, even with normal weight. I have spent a fortune in dental repairs, have ground down crowns to the point they need to be replaced. I got a nightguard from the dentist a few months ago. Some nights I can sleep with it in all nights, and other nights I end up taking it out, sometimes in my sleep and sometimes semi-awake. I got an ulcer that perforated, resulting in a horrid, painful surgery. The docs said it was not caused by the ED (caused by a bacterial infection and use of NSAIDs), but I do know EDs can cause ulcers, and if they perforate, whichout quick trauma surgery, you likely will die. I have never been in so much pain. Childbirth was a breeze compared to that ulcer surgery. I hallucinated a lot for 2-3 days in the hospital. I had to stay 6 days, and the treatment caused a big weight loss. When I got home and weighed myself, the ED part of my brain woke up again. Ugh!

[Blueberrybook]

Originally Posted by katydid777

I am so bad, I didn't eat last night, and I haven't eaten yet today and it is already 11:00 this morning. I will make myself eat something soon, only bc I have to take my hart meds, and if I don't eat something the meds make me dizzy.

Eating in and of itself is not bad. Your body needs fuel, and the meds would be annoying to take if you are dizzy.

[Blueberrybook]

I ran too much again this morning. It hardly makes sense. I don’t want to gain weight, and I do all this running, but I never count calories or watch the foods I eat. But I must be burning more calories with exercise than I am eating, losing weight that way.

I think I am getting hypomanic with the bipolar, and that tends to speed up my metabolism; that is common in bipolar during mania or hypomania. Could have been the hypomania egged me on to rub farther than I have since in my 20’s. Who know?

[LucyD]

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

That's great, congrats!

I'm so glad! Thanks!

[LucyD]

Originally Posted by cln1812

I ran too much again this morning. It hardly makes sense. I don’t want to gain weight, and I do all this running, but I never count calories or watch the foods I eat. But I must be burning more calories with exercise than I am eating, losing weight that way.

I think I am getting hypomanic with the bipolar, and that tends to speed up my metabolism; that is common in bipolar during mania or hypomania. Could have been the hypomania egged me on to rub farther than I have since in my 20’s. Who know?

I stopped counting calories--it messes with my mind.

[88Butterfly88]

Overate a little less than usual today, I'll take it.

I am having a bad time of overeating.

I don't know what baught it on (if anything), but I've been like it nonstop since yesterday

only 10 A.M, and I'm making myself sick with all these sweets

[Blue_Bird]

I'm doing very well. I feel so much better even after just a few days of eating normal, sleeping and not obsessing about weight. I looked and acted like a zombie for the past few months

[Blueberrybook]

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

I'm doing very well. I feel so much better even after just a few days of eating normal, sleeping and not obsessing about weight. I looked and acted like a zombie for the past few months

Awesome! Now you have to keep it up

[Blueberrybook]

I felt OK today, but overexercised a lot again. Anyone else here with that problem? I ran an insane distance, walked a normal distance (but overheated, which is a no-no for a couple of these psych meds I take). I did a lot today. I don't know if it's the start of hypomania or not. The problem is I actually like the hypomanic phases of bipolar, very productive, no need for a ton of sleep, not doing risky stuff that destroys my life like full-blown mania, and depression is definitely the pits. But I think during mania and even hypomania, metabolism increases. There are times when I feel like I burn off things I eat very quickly. I did so much today that I didn't even have breakfast or any snacks today. One thing after another. I got a lot done, don't think I got enough sleep either. I woke up at 3 AM in a full-blown panic attack; I'd been dreaming about things connected to some of the PTSD. I've had a lot of PTSD-worthy instances for a lifetime, more than my share to be sure. I tried to calm & control my breathing like all my past therapists have advised. I don't see a therapist right now because of lack of money, and honestly, after over 10 therapists, I have never clicked with one, though some are admittedly better than others. Also, there comes a point where I've just felt "talked out".

[downandlonely]

cln, have you tried support groups for eating disorders or bipolar? I like support groups better than individual therapy. And there are free ones.