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#1
Jun 13, 2016, 08:21 AM
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Hi,I am in a bad way ,I feel mentally unbalanced today and fighting to stay on top of things.Last night I had my nightmare dream that I had lost it big time and was going to hell and there was no way back.It was big fear and that dread, the fear you are about to be murdered and can't do anything about it.I dreamed repeatedly that my sister was knocking on my door demanding to be let in,and saying she needed money.
The thing is I cut my sister out of my life for abuse and psychological violence and trying to drive me to suicide,I cut her out a year and a half ago.About two months ago I was sorting some old shoes of mine at my mum's house and choose some to bring home to sell.There were a pair of trainers and some battered and old shoes with a pink inside lining,I left at mum's saying they could be thrown away.Well yesterday I found them tucked into the shoe draw of my wardrobe,and I found an old dildo that I had given to my sister two years ago to throw away.So my narcissistic sister has been using the spare keys to my house that I left at my mum's to get into my house and she put those things there to freak me out and gaslight me.I was horrified and in shock.It triggered my PTSD cos the house was cluttered and in a mess like last time my sister tried to kill me,I was getting emotional memories from back then happening exactly like it was then and I feared for my life and my sanity....I really almost broke down and got emotionally and mentally disturbed and in distress to the point I couldn't function. So today I cancelled my meal out with my niece for her birthday,cos that is when I reckon she lets herself in when I am out with my niece.I am having my locks changed that day instead,next Tuesday,and someone is coming from a charity today to help me with the keysafe code.I am resting cos I am run down physically too.I am doing all I can to take care of myself and not deteriorate. The PTSD symptoms are horrible,they hurt,the memories the pain,it is unbearable at times,I know it I just feel the pain and accept it is there and honor it and what I went through it is better than trying to escape the pain.But it is hard, especially cos I am alone without support. I am finding it difficult because my mum was trying to deny it happened that my sister did that, let herself into my house,but in the end I said,whatever the locks are getting changed,I know those shoes and I know they were at your house and not in my wardrobe,so mum said ok,just do what you need to look after yourself.My mum is dependent on my sister so can't say anything or get involved.She is supportive to me though. That is it,that is why I have PTSD in the first place from traumatic incidents or violence I have suffered before and while mentally and physically ill,at the hands of my sister.Should I go under now and let her win? I didn't think she would still be trying to make me ill and go mad so she could kill me but she is still trying even though she is no longer meant to be in my life.I am mixed up and afraid.Marylinx |
 Ceara1010, cinnamonstick, Open Eyes, Out There
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 Ceara1010
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#2
Jun 13, 2016, 04:44 PM
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oh my Gosh, i am so sorry to hear about your pain. Try to little by little regain your strength. Make sure you eat properly and get enough sleep through all of this. Try to exercise to get some blood pumping, rebuild your foundation. Think strength even though you aren't quite feeling it...have faith in yourself.
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"Great things are done by a series of small things brought together." Vincent Van Gogh |
| Marylin
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| Marylin
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#3
Jun 13, 2016, 11:25 PM
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I know firsthand what this kind of thing can do to you because, for over ten years, I've had a stalker that breaks into my house and does stuff like move things and set my kitchen timers to go off at 2am.
Possible trigger:
I think I know who is doing this, but I have no way of proving it yet, and I could be wrong. I live alone and have no children who visit me who might move things as a prank. It is definitely not a family member as I changed the locks as soon as this began to happen in my condo, and they didn't have keys. Besides, in the ten years I've had my condo, I've had visitors only a few times, and then only immediate family, and we always gather in the same room. And I’m sure they would not move my things around, and if for some weird reason they did, they certainly would put whatever they moved back like it was. This is indeed gas lighting and it caused me to have my breakdown. Because of this, I am currently living with my parents, but check frequently at my condo and continue to find things moved out of place. Unfortunately, thinking one is being stalked is a common sign of schizophrenia, so my PTSD was initially misdiagnosed by people who didn't interview me even once. But eventually, after a T got to know me over time, she saw I'm very rational, and also that I'm not the type to make things up to get attention. Now she finally believes me. My sister does now, too, and so does my Pdoc. I'm only going to catch this person if I get a home security system with video, and I don't have the money for it. Unfortunately, my father does not believe the stalking is really happening, or take it seriously, so I don't think he would pay for this. Anyway, that's my gas lighting story. I know what it does to you. So hang in there and don't let your sister make you crazy.  --Ceara1010
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Men wanted for hazardous journey. Small wages, bitter cold, long hours of complete darkness. Safe return doubtful. Honour and recognition in event of success. -Ernest Shackleton Last edited by Ceara1010; Jun 13, 2016 at 11:48 PM. |
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#4
Jun 14, 2016, 12:23 PM
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I really feel for you I know how much shock and horror you must feel having someone without permission enter your home.Do you know who this man is,were you involved with him in the past? Can you afford a simple burglar alarm which would go off every time he enters.Then you can report to police. You and I both know how scary and disorientating having someone do this gaslighting is!Then there is the added injury if people don't believe you.I have reported my sister to the police,they will be round to my home tomorrow evening to take a report,I hope they will act against my sister or warn her off,I don't know if they will react different when they find out about my mental illness,that is the trouble.I am praying to God the police question her ,catch her out so she admits it,I can't prove she did it see. At least by reporting it I am doing all I can to support myself and even if the police just pay her a visit and question her it will frighten her out of trying anything else.I am so tired off her,I cut her out of my life 1 1/2 years ago,I want to forget about her,but she is determined to kill me still. |
| Ceara1010
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| Ceara1010
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#5
Jun 14, 2016, 02:58 PM
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I think I know who it is, but am not 100% sure. Around the time the break-ins began, I was going to school, and was sexually harassed by a professor of mine. (He got sent on a leave of absence because of it.) The stalking began as hang-up phone calls. So I changed my phone number, and that's when the break-ins began. (I had read in a book on stalkers that this is common--everything you do to block them, they take as a challenge to overcome.) I made a police report years ago, but they told me they can't do anything unless I can present them with some proof in the form of video of him in my house. I'm hoping I can get my father to pay for a security system that includes video surveillance so I can finally catch this man. (So far, he is not supportive.) I never got a burglar alarm because he never breaks in while I'm home. And there's no neighbors around during the day to pay notice to an alarm going off. I can't afford one of those alarms that calls the police, and this wouldn't work anyway because he would just rush in, move something, and rush back out again, before the police got there. Quote:
Yes, very disorienting. I saw the movie Gas Light (the Ingrid Bergman one) and it gave me chills as the portrayal of the victim's disintegration is so accurate.
Possible trigger:
I eventually left the residential program, and when I got a new Pdoc, I told her about the stalking, and she believed me without question. My sister does now, too. Quote:
I see you are in the UK, so I am very interested in how the police deal with this kind of abuse and harassment. Quote:
Hang in there, and please keep me posted on how things go regarding your situation with your sister. --Ceara1010
__________________
Men wanted for hazardous journey. Small wages, bitter cold, long hours of complete darkness. Safe return doubtful. Honour and recognition in event of success. -Ernest Shackleton Last edited by Ceara1010; Jun 14, 2016 at 06:06 PM. |
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#6
Jun 15, 2016, 08:53 PM
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Hi Ceara,
Yes I am in the UK.Well the policeman listened and spend a lot of time getting the background,I explained what had been going on,quite a lot of stuff had been moved around and locks rendered useless by the taking away of keys.And she had put stuff in the house like in wardrobes etc which I had given her to take to charity shops last time I was ill.An old battered pair of shoes and some trainers and a jacket and the dildo she was supposed to throw away. Basically he explained there was no damage done to property and nothing stolen so it isn't criminal trespass,it is civil trespass,and the problem is there is no actual evidence she's been in my house and there is only my word for it stuff has been moved about. The penalties for trespass are very light usually a slap on the wrist. What he did do though was make out a domestic violence report to have on file together with a letter I sent to the police back in 2014 last time she tried to harm me. He said if anything else happens and it is a police matter and she tries it on they will act from there and help if they can. It is frightening me when you say your stalker sees every attempt to block them as a challenge to overcome.I am frightened my sister is determined to do that too and her ultimate goal is to bring about my death. Isn't it worth for you to get the simple alarm even though you don't sleep in the house,at least every time it goes off you will know he's paid another visit? I was reassured by the policeman saying he would file the domestic violence report and he said if I change the locks there is no way she can get in.So it should mean I am safe but it is daft part of me fears even if I change the locks she can still get in,that is how crazy and irrational I am thinking now cos she has freaked me out big time. I am giving her more power than she has cos I know how devious and cunning she is and how she can break the law and get away with it,she drove me to suicidal actions twice in the past.She is a narcissist and a sadist and she hates me big time I suspect she is obsessed with me too cos she tried to steal my identity ,my interests, my life. Last edited by Marylin; Jun 15, 2016 at 08:56 PM. Reason: add paragraphs |
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#7
Jun 16, 2016, 09:49 AM
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You need to immediately change the locks so the key your sister has won't work.
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#8
Jun 16, 2016, 12:10 PM
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I'm sorry your going through this. I agree changing the locks as soon as possible is a great idea. Do you have friends or family members that would let you borrow a camera? There are some that hook up to your computers wifi. Hide it between plants or on a shelf
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#9
Jun 16, 2016, 02:22 PM
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Thank you Open Eyes and Monarch Butterfly.The locks are being changed this coming Tuesday and only I will have copies of my new keys,so the camera won't be necessary.
I am still quite in shock,disorientated and the moving of stuff without my knowledge has triggered deep trauma from the past,stored in my subconscious, no doubt that was my narc sister's intention.That and to trigger arguments with mum to wear me out and make me ill again.I haven't got much real life support but one person I told was very understanding and sympathetic.Another I think is a fair weather friend. Never mind,God loves me and his hands guide me and he will never abandon me. |
| Open Eyes
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#10
Jun 16, 2016, 07:16 PM
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This is why doing anything to stop them is often viewed as a challenge to overcome--to them, blocking them takes away their power over you. So, blocking them often escalates things, such as my getting a new phone number leading to the break-ins. Security experts often even advise against restraining orders, saying they just make things worse. However, try to be assured that security experts say that harassment/stalking rarely leads to physical violence. I know that doesn’t necessarily help much because it’s hard not to be hyper-vigilent about it all. Staying calm about it is easier said than done. Quote:
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I changed the locks twice, and it didn’t keep this guy out, but that’s because he’s been picking the locks. And locksmiths will tell you that, if someone really wants to get in your house, there is nothing you can do to stop them. Even so-called “non-pickable locks” are quite pick-able. Quote:
There’s a great book by Gavin DeBecker called “The Gift of Fear.” He is a very famous, very successful security expert (For one thing, he has headed up the security for several American presidents.) He deals with this kind of thing all the time and this book is full of great advice that will help you keep a perspective on what’s happening. Besides, it’s a great read, a really super, interesting book. I strongly suggest you read this book. Please keep me updated on all this. (You really can't know what it's like to go through something like this unless it's happened to you.) --Ceara1010
__________________
Men wanted for hazardous journey. Small wages, bitter cold, long hours of complete darkness. Safe return doubtful. Honour and recognition in event of success. -Ernest Shackleton |
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#11
Jun 16, 2016, 08:32 PM
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Yes, it is psychological warfare with my narc sister.I hope it does put her off me changing the locks,she and my mother seem determined to make me under their control,to be able to have access to my house,I figured out they are both going to try and contest my will in the event of my death which while I am alive I will do all I can to prevent.Like I am going to document the abuse I suffered with them and leave it at the solicitors,with instructions that if they contest the will it is my wish not to leave them anything.
I am feeling better tonight but I had another difficult day,mainly cos I am mentally and physically drained but have to keep up with the chores etc which is tiring me out and making my moods plummet.I will get stronger this weekend as I will get plenty of rest. I hope you manage to persuade your dad to help with a security system for you condo,it would be good to stop your stalker wouldn't it?How do you spend your time,do you work or are you free to do as you like?Marylinx |
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#12
Jun 16, 2016, 09:36 PM
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Right now, my dad refuses to even talk to me about the break-ins; I think he thinks it's a all a delusion. Whenever I mention it, he doesn't say anything, so I stopped bringing it up. My older sister said she would talk to him about it, to assure him it's real, but she hasn't done this yet, and I am not holding my breath that she will ever do this. (She always promises to talk to dad about various things, and never does.) I had talked to my T about having a family meeting about all this that would include my T, sister, mom, and dad, and she thought this was a good idea. But that never happened and I recently dropped her as my T. Quote:
--Ceara1010
__________________
Men wanted for hazardous journey. Small wages, bitter cold, long hours of complete darkness. Safe return doubtful. Honour and recognition in event of success. -Ernest Shackleton |
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#13
Jun 17, 2016, 07:56 PM
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Ceara hi again,
you and I have that in common,not being able to work because of illness and also I have also been robbed of me my whole life.I never looked at it that way before.I have though had myself and everything I had to give stolen from me and my narc sis and mother took it ,turns out my mother was also in on what my sister was up to and she is only concerned in keeping me in touch with her so she can get me to change my will again into her favor.She is the only 86 year old mother I know that is hoping to outlive her own daughter.How about that? I have asked mental health services for support as I have lost all my living relatives now either they have rejected me or I have cut them out of my life.I am cutting my mother out of my life now,I won't speak to her ever again,I won't answer the phone to her,she is gone and I won't make the mistake I did a year and a half ago of letting her back in,I cut my sister out knowing she is a narcissist and I knew my mum was too but I forgot how bad a one she was,until she verbally abused me the other day over this issue of my sister letting herself into my house and Gaslighting me. My biggest mistake when I cut my narc sister out of my life was not cutting my mum out too and not changing the locks,I should have known they would both try to hurt me somehow,they need me to be in pain. I need to find a therapist too,I need trauma therapy. I am sorry your sister and therapist let you down,maybe it is for the best with the therapist,maybe she isn't right for you and there is a better one going to come along that will help you more.I wonder if you mind if I ask how old you are?Sorry if you have already said,my head isn't straight right now and I get forgetful when the trauma sets in. I hope we can continue to talk on here and support each other it is good to find someone i have a little bit in common with who understands.I also have PTSD and schizoaffective disorder depressive type.I have chronic physical illness too. Last edited by Marylin; Jun 17, 2016 at 08:02 PM. Reason: to finish writing the post |
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#14
Jun 17, 2016, 08:07 PM
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Yes, it might be good for you to get some distance from your mother and sister right now. If you find that it doesn't help, you can always reconnect with either one of them later. (That's what I eventually did after distancing myself from my family for a few years.)
I hope mental health services can help you. If they have support groups there I recommend that as you will find more empathy talking to people who have had similar experiences. --Ceara1010
__________________
Men wanted for hazardous journey. Small wages, bitter cold, long hours of complete darkness. Safe return doubtful. Honour and recognition in event of success. -Ernest Shackleton |
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#15
Jun 17, 2016, 08:22 PM
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Ceara,I will never reconnect with my narcissist mother and narcissist sister ever again,to do so would be to sign my own death warrant.I don't know if you are free from abuse,verbal,emotional and psychological when with your father and family but I have never been free from abuse and neglect from my family.I never want to see either of them ever again.I hope to feel much better and freer and find my own peace returning when the locks are changed.I am not even going to answer the phone to my mother when she rings,cos she will ring.She is waiting for me to crumble and beg her and say she is right about my sister and I am wrong or to hear that I am ill and need her.When she realizes she's lost that one she will change tack and try another tactic to suck me back into her vortex.Hopefully I am wiser to it this time!
Last edited by Marylin; Jun 17, 2016 at 08:23 PM. Reason: to correct spelling |
| Ceara1010
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#16
Jun 21, 2016, 11:27 AM
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Getting a lot of PTSD symptoms today,it has been a difficult day,very painful emotionally.I could do with some support.I got the locks changed and put a new set of keys in the keysafe,I keep thinking she can read my mind telepathically and has got the new keycode number that way,I don't know what to do whether to leave keys in the keysafe or not.I am frightened she will get in again....it really is scaring me.Help Ceara,advise me please.Can I trust she won't pick up the keysafe code psychically?she has read my mind before.I am going to take the key out of the keysafe until I feel safe to leave it in there.I took the key out of the keysafe,if I have to I will wear it on a chain round my neck as a spare for if I get locked out.
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| Open Eyes
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#17
Jun 21, 2016, 12:43 PM
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Another thing I am going to end my friendship with my only friend.She turned out to be half supportive and half abusive,over this thing with my sister,she used to listen to me tell my story before but whenever I got upset or emotional didn't attempt to offer emotional support.When she came round and I told her my sister was letting herself in to undo all the tidying I'd done,she started commenting on a corner of the room that was a mess,sarcastically saying how tidy it was and on another corner too saying it was de-cluttered,cos something I moved from there had been put back..
Then I didn't say anything except it's not tidy it is a mess.But I noticed a mocking sort of you are the stupidest person I've ever met tone in her voice and I let it go. I paid her that day to take things to the charity shop for me and gave her some fruit I had started a new diet and wasn't eating fruit. Anyway it bothered me she might be abusive so I texted her and said why didn't you just say that corner was tidy and now its a mess cos my sister took the bench cover out of the cupboard and put it back there where I kept it and and made it untidy.I sid it hurt me her sarcasm. She texted back I wasn't being sarcastic I was really thinking the corner looked tidy.I am furious,abusive people deny your perceptions I know that.So I can't trust her though I've known her three years so I know she can be a bit of a sarcy cow but to go full on and take me for a complete fool.No way. I told her her answer was ******** I am angry at her response and that is a dealbreaker for me denying my perceptions. So that means I am back at square one,like,a year and half ago,alone in the world without a single friend.I am hoping there are lots of friends out there that I haven't met yet.I am emotionally quite low and I am very depressed,I haven't felt this bad in a long time not in over a year,I thought I'd never be back in this place with my narc sis being able to enter my house and sabotage my attempts to have it tidy but here I am as though I had never cut her out of my life. At least I didn't enter the same room as her for the last year and a half yet she still was able to cause me emotional and psychological damage. I had an assessment with victim support today,they are able to offer me emotional support,so I will hear from them next week.And my nurse from when I was under the Mental Health Team is visiting me friday.I am meeting my niece thursday but I am wondering if she still loves me?She says she does,it feels like no one loves me and that I don't love myself,but I am going to start loving me and looking after myself better.I got a lot of things wrong in the last year and half and I wasn't putting myself first. Last edited by Marylin; Jun 21, 2016 at 12:54 PM. Reason: correct spelling |
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#18
Jun 21, 2016, 05:15 PM
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And no, she cannot get any information from you psychically. There's no scientific proof people can read minds. Professional psychics are actually just really good at picking up on forms of non-verbal communication, such as inflections in tone of voice, posture, and body language. This is actually something most people can do with people they know well--they can look at them and know what they are thinking or feeling without being told outright. If you feel your sister has "read your mind" before, she was instead probably picking up on your mood or body language, or other things she knows about you and drawing conclusions from this. But I understand why you might believe she has literally gotten inside your head psychically because of the psychological warfare involved in gas-lighting. I think that, because the abuser messes with you so much psychologically, the damage can result sometimes in our thinking they are literally in our heads. Years ago, for a few weeks, I even had the delusion going that my stalker was in my head psychically. My best advice at helping you stay sane as you deal with this: Get a hidden video camera. Getting a camera will not only get evidence if your sister ever breaks in again, but it will help you stay sane as it will serve as a way to check your perceptions about things that happen in your home. I know from my own experience, and from talking to a lot of other stalking victims, that we often start to think that anything that looks weird or out of place is the work of the stalker, particularly if the weird thing that happens is something the stalker has definitely done before. For example, once or twice, when the stalker broke into my house, the calling card he left was that he left a light on. So months later, when I kept finding my patio light turned on at night, I immediately thought he had done this. But it turned out that I was the one turning it on accidentally, but didn’t know. How I learned the truth about the light was that I had finally broken down and bought a hidden video camera. After I set this up, the next time I found the patio light on, the video proved there had been no one else in the house but me. And after awhile, I figured out how I was the one turning on the light accidentally, and this was a great relief. I got the camera to try to get video evidence of the break-ins, but ironically, its greatest benefit to me was in how it helped me stay sane by helping me stay grounded in reality which helped me stay calm. I would be in much worse psychological shape today if I hadn’t had something to keep my own perceptions in check. Quote:
It isn’t possible for anyone to know what this is like unless they have gone through it themselves. Because of this lack of understanding around us, it’s so common for stalking victims to isolate from friends and family, but I can tell you from experience this only makes things worse--isolation will add to the stress of being stalked and this will make you crazier. Quote:
But I do think she has triggered you, rather than abused you. I think the perception of whether something is “tidy” or not is personal. Some people are tidier than others; one person’s tidy is another person’s messy. I think her not agreeing with you was simply her personal opinion about the state of the corner, and not an attempt to abuse you. She wasn’t saying, “Your sister didn’t mess up the corner.” She was saying “I don’t think the corner is messy.” These are two different things. One of the things PTSD does to us is make it difficult to understand what is really happening when something reminds us of abuse we have suffered. Just like the patio light I accidentally turned on initially appeared to be done by the stalker, your friend’s disagreeing with you that the corner was messy reminds you of your family denying your perceptions about your sister’s behavior. Don’t let triggers make your life worse--give your friend the benefit of the doubt. Quote:
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Hang in there! Supporting you, Ceara1010
__________________
Men wanted for hazardous journey. Small wages, bitter cold, long hours of complete darkness. Safe return doubtful. Honour and recognition in event of success. -Ernest Shackleton |
| Open Eyes
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#19
Jun 21, 2016, 08:55 PM
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Thanks Ceara for the reply.I don't need to read what you said about telepathy I know for a fact telepathy is a real thing,I've read my sister's mind in the past and she has read mine,we were really close at one point and just could tune in to each other from a distance and read what each other was saying/thinking.
I've also done it with other people so it is a real fear and not my imagination or thoughts due to the psychological abuse,people either know telepathy is real or they take your view and don't believe it is. either way nothing will make me agree it isn't a real phenomena cos I have had so much practice on it in the past. I have to learn to block my thoughts so no one including my sister can read them neither is it the case she read my body language cos we weren't in the same room when this type of communication took place. I don't know about my so called friend whether to give her the benefit of the doubt cos sometimes she'll have digs at me that feel very insulting,like she kept going on about a certain shop she goes to where the plants on sale have no labels she says they just called vegetable plants and there is no way of knowing what type of vegetable it is and the tone and mannerism she was saying it implied she was calling me a vegetable,that is emotional abuse, it was happening way before this thing with my sister so I didn't have PTSD symptoms back then. I am not mixing with people who have that kind of humor and I'd rather be alone that have that happening cos it ****s up my self esteem and before you know it it becomes more and more frequent and the person is abusing you on a daily basis.So no I am not going to give her the benefit of the doubt.I have been badly bullied before on a daily basis not just by my sister,I attract bullies for some reason and used to put up with the less serious abuse then it would become major abuse in no time so I know what I am talking about and doing on that score. I don't want to dismiss what you say Ceara but your advice is what is right for you but not for me cos I know different and my situation isn't exactly the same as yours.If this friend admits to being sarcastic which I 100% know she was being and apologizes for it then I know she isn't lying to me and I'll let it go but no one is ever going to pull the wool over my eyes again and get away with it thems my rules. I am not going to be told my judgments about other people are down to my having PTSD or mental illness either that is a big No for me too and smacks of unfair prejudice.I know if my illness is affecting my judgments but other people have no way of knowing they just assume either based solely on the fact they know I've been ill or like you assume its the same for me as it is for them cos they've been ill themselves.Well your experience and mine isn't the same in this regard.I know when though,even though, I've been through the recent trauma whenever my mind is reacting as though my narc moved something in the house and I moved it myself without needing film of me doing it. I am sorry to disagree with your advice but that is how it is for me!Thanks for the support though. I will get CCTV for the outside of the house cos then i will feel better about using the keysafe. I am not worried about being isolated I can make new friends if I make the effort.Though it isn't easy for me and I have never been one to have a lot of friends. Last edited by Marylin; Jun 21, 2016 at 09:10 PM. |
| Ceara1010
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#20
Jun 21, 2016, 09:10 PM
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I'm sure you will do what's best for you.  I hope when you meet with the counselors you will feel comfortable enough to share with them all you have shared with me. It will be helpful for them to know all these thing in your life causing so much anxiety. Please keep in touch with me and let me know how this goes. --Ceara1010
__________________
Men wanted for hazardous journey. Small wages, bitter cold, long hours of complete darkness. Safe return doubtful. Honour and recognition in event of success. -Ernest Shackleton |
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#21
Jun 21, 2016, 09:12 PM
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Yes will do.Thanksx
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#22
Jun 22, 2016, 02:21 AM
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#23
Jun 24, 2016, 02:43 PM
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I've calmed down a bit,mainly cos the locks have been changed and so I got to go out and I met my niece,which she was very supportive even though it is her mother abusing me and her loyalties are torn.
I might give my friend who upset me with sarcasm another chance cos on the whole apart from one or two things I find negative about her,her sarcasm,I don't like that in anybody,she has been ok company and was paying her fair share of our trips out together so not taking advantage really.She took stuff to the charity for me ,I paid her for that but it was big help.You are right Ceara it is not good to become isolated. My old CPN came to see me today I am back under the Community Mental Health Team for support they are going to refer me for psychology support and I am going to see the psyche doc. Got the handyman to come back cos I want an extra lock put on the door for added security. I don't feel good mainly cos I am not sleeping well and that is holding me back. |
| Ceara1010, Open Eyes
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#24
Jun 24, 2016, 05:03 PM
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Can you talk to your friend about her sarcasm? When someone is hurting, sarcasm from someone else can be hard to take objectively. And this can cause what the person is really saying to be misinterpreted. I'm really glad you are going to give your friend the benefit of the doubt. It's important to keep in mind that someone having a different opinion about something doesn't necessarily mean they are trying to invalidate you. Yes, it does happen, but if your friend has been a good friend otherwise, it's good you've decided to give her another chance. My sister and I "agree to disagree" all the time. (That means, we just have different opinions about things and we don't fight about it when this happens.) --Ceara1010
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Men wanted for hazardous journey. Small wages, bitter cold, long hours of complete darkness. Safe return doubtful. Honour and recognition in event of success. -Ernest Shackleton |
| Marylin
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| Marylin
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#25
Jun 25, 2016, 01:49 AM
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Yes I guess in the past I have been expecting perfect behavior from friends and the slightest hint of them making me feel got at I'd end the relationship without giving them a chance,yet we are all human and get it wrong at times.Maybe I did overreact to the sarcasm,I can't talk to her about it cos she denied being sarcastic,but the next time she is sarcastic I will explain how much I hate it see if she stops using it.
How are you getting on lately Ceara,any luck yet persuading your dad to help fund the security system for dealing with your stalker? I have never been to the US Texas is supposed to be a very rich state,how is it like to live there,are you happy living there.how do you get treated in the US if you have no work,no income, do you mind me asking does the government support you or are you left alone to sink or swim,survive or die? |
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