Text T how I feel...

Yes interesting is definitely one word for it. It sure is great to see you back on here again Poetgirl!

T and Pdoc are the same person.

Cats, I think you average 250 replies to most things you post! hahahahah

somehow that does seem to happen, I have noticed!

Yea,,,I've notices that as well. And about 4000 views. Lol.

I know. I guess either I am very popular here or raise some interesting topics. I dunno.

This is a dual relationship and is not healthy.

It is a dual relationship but it works for us and has for over 2yrs now.

Well T saved me again today.,,I had my car towed and no money to pay for it. She drove me to the impound lot and paid for my towing expenses. I didn't even ask her to do that but she just said. "C'mon let's go pick up your car, I'll pay for it and you can pay me back next week."

I am really sorry that she spoke to you this way, at a time you feel most vulnerable. Perhaps you should try another therapist who understands compassion?

It seems like she is giving you mixed messages. On the one hand, she is telling you to be an adult, and to not be so dependent on her (in another thread)...and then on the other, she is rescuing you.

Could you have called your boyfriend or your parents or a friend to help you with this?

My T would let me use his phone, and let me sit in his waiting room, and probably even brainstorm solutions if I couldn't reach anyone, but there is literally NO way he would drive me to pick up my car and pay for it, unless maybe (and I do mean maybe) it was a matter of life and death.

I'm sorry you're getting such mixed messages. Sounds confusing.

How is it working for you? It sounds like you are struggling with dependency and not wanting to grow up. She seems to enable this. How does it work for you in a healthy way? Also, I thought you have been with her for 8 years.

all I can say is, wow........I think, cats, that this relationship IS definitely crossing some boundaries it shouldn't if T is doing stuff like paying for your impounded car, too......
You do work, I am assuming? Will you have money to pay her back next week already if you didn't have any this week? I don't mean to sound harsh, it's just that this seems like it's going too far; T shouldn't be rescuing you in ways such as this.......

Yeah Cats, it's like she says the words but does the opposite. How can you be expected to act like an adult when she doesn't treat you like one? I mean isn't this the same T who followed you into the bathroom too, so she could be sure you weren't throwing up after you ate? Honestly, Cats, I don't think this is healthy at all. My T would help me in the same way that Tree's T would help her, and MAYBE, if it were an extremely serious situation and there were absolutely no alternatives -- like Tree said, life or death -- then he'd drive me somewhere. But I just can't see how you have any incentive to be an adult when she treats you like a child.

I was with her at the time. By the time that I called to figure out where my car had been towed she already said what she was going to do.

She has been my T for 8yrs. We have had a dual relationship for about 2yrs now.

Yes I am paying her this week on Friday when I get paid.

I really don't think that my T treats me like a child...

It sounds more like a friendship, maybe big sister-little sister dynamic.
Within the contexts of a friendship, this would not be considered dependency, but more so an unbalanced relationship with little reciprocity in action from Cats, though the T may receive personal satisfaction in return for helping Cats.
Cats may sometimes behave as a child, as the T claims, but it seems to me, on the comments of this thread alone, that the T treats Cats as a younger sister/friend.

As I said early on in the thread... Major red flags keep popping up...

Cats, if you feel your relationship with your T is concerning, perhaps you could meet with your old T to discuss the relationship.

I assumed you were with her...but what I am saying, is even if I was with T....if I came out of session and found my car towed and was trapped at his office....he would let me use his phone and wait in his waiting room, and that's it. He knows I'm an adult and he trusts me to be able to use my resources to figure things out.

It's not a friendship. If I were at a friends house and discovered my car had been towed, it would totally make sense for them to drive me to get my car. And if a friend were at my house, I would drive them to get their car. That wouldn't happen with T, because the T/client relationship has different boundaries.

Hey Cats,

It was nice of her to help you out with your car, I am surprised she offered to pay, however she obviously knows you will pay her back.

I agree with other people that boundaries are very blurred in the relationship but I think that happened long before this incident, as even going to the gym with a therapist is a bit odd, even though some therapists do it, as to me it seems like something two friends would do.
So since the relationship is already blurred, I am not surprised she helped you in this way and if she was going to cross the lines anyway then I guess helping someone get their car to get home is probably a better line to cross than others that she already has.

I don't know what my T would do in this situation, although it is very unlikely to happen as I park on her private property with her permission. She would usually have a client after me so she wouldn't even be able to do what yours did but if in a situation were I had no other choices and as I live quite far from where my session takes place, she may try to help me out.

lol **huge hugs**

Thanks Dizgirl, Yes the relationship has already been blurred for quite awhile, it isn't a new thing...

Thanks, I can see a big sister-little sister dynamic...