Welcome to couch # 18

Thank you, healed and Sally and Lola. I have done nothing to deserve this friendship and support.

Better go to bed now before stopdog sprays me for being overly emotional all over the couch. Goodnight all.

H is trying to help me, but I'm on the verge of tears. I just want it to stop.

Okay - apparently we need the deserve talk:

No person is less deserving than anyone else of friendship, help if they want it, love, kindness and therapy.

I'm so sorry Chopin, I wish I could make it stop

Can you get out of the house for a little bit?

I am sorry if that was too rough, but I think this whole notion of deserving has got to stop.

Chopin - perhaps try just crying with H holding you for awhile rather than trying to stop or fix it.

For some reason, I seem to have developed a lot of anxiety about going to therapy, and then there was a lunch I was supposed to go to (and did actually go to) with my mother in law and a large group of women. All older than me, and all extremely wealthy. Both of which I find intimidating.

Thanks Chopin (and Lola, I know you told me this also, so thank you too). I did keep practicing slow, steady breathing.

What the hell is up with that? What is that happening to us??

I hope you're right. It does not FEEL that way. But thank you for the positive spin on it.

See the above advice everyone gave me! I hope it went well. I haven't finished catching up with this thread yet.

Just wanted to thank everyone for the support. I did, in fact, survive therapy. Once it was over, I was not sure why I had been so nervous. I did take my stupid list along, but still didn't give it to him. In fact, I didn't mention it at all. He mentioned it once, but didn't ask me specifically if I had it with me, so I didn't reply or admit I had it.

Also, he was wearing black driving shoes - those slip on things. And then I started thinking about what someone on here said once about men who wear slip on shoes being good in bed and then I was really busy contemplating him being good in bed and the anxiety took a back seat at that point.

Stop...your just so darn cute!

Chopin...if you need to talk you can PM me.... Im sorry honey.

My T says it's important to feel OK about being a child.

I am not -cute I am tough and callously indifferent and mean.

I apologize you are cold and aloof.

Is that what you are, what you think you are, what you hope of are or what your are trying to be?

i don't believe it and refuse to.

yes this

I think we're going to go out to eat. Need to get out.

Yes.

........(compliance with letter count)(greatly detracts from my natural pithiness)

Oh, I was anxious about other people talking about their therapists dropping them, and I do worry that I am taking too long to get better, so I asked him what I would have to do to get him to drop me. He said I would have to harm his children. I was just perplexed by that. First of all, why on god's green earth would I harm any child, least of all his, and second of all, I don't even know where he lives or where they go to school. And so he proceeds to tell me where they go to school. ?? What. The. ****? Anyway. Since I have no plans to harm children, apparently he has no plans to leave me. I seriously much have asked five different times in five different ways if he was sick of me or going to leave me. Then I was angry at myself for being a total four year old about the whole thing. I said I was his 'remedial client' but he assured me I am not. I wanted to ask him who was, but I know he wouldn't answer that anyway.

Hi all. Sorry to see so many of us are hurting. Depression out of nowhere is seriously miserable (not that any other kind is any better!), I hope you feel better soon Chopin. And everyone else who is struggling, too, I hate seeing a group of such funny, kind (or tough and callously indifferent and mean if that's your thing too ) people feeling so bad. Feel free to smack me upside the head for the cliche, but this really will pass too.

Now let's see if my new avatar works...it's a picture of a piece of art I saw that I thought was really pretty.

I stopped worrying about mine leaving me because he WANTS me to cry and email and be needy and act like a child and scream and throw fits. He said today that I will be mad at him sometimes and he will be mad at me but that's when we will come together and work it out. Seriously, those are all the things everybody worries about. Although he did say no physical harm to him.... LOL

Hey guys. Everyone is worrying about t dumping them, and I kind of feel guilty that I made you all nervous. You need to know, I have extenuating circumstances. And I have never had a t dump me before the good frau, and she dumped within a month, but for some weird reason is willing to see me thru to another t. So, you are most likely, statistically safe. I don't see any of your behaviors as warranting firing.

The Frau was wearing
(I wouldn't be caught dead in them...just sayin)

my toxic XT (bi tch in the sweater) wore those shoes...

My T wore these

Good lord, who would have thought so many of you had foot fetishes?

Yeah, my T was wearing those, only in black.