C O U C H 39 -The Renaissance Period

I think when dealing with adults they should be treated like adults, not children. My mother included. I am not here to teach her anything, I just do what I have to do to keep myself sane. I was joking when I said "that will teach her", because she's a narcissist, nothing will teach her.

I am "supposed" to go to a group cancer meeting now. T encourages these, I hate them. Really don't want to listen to the whole "who's cancer is worse" routine. I hate whining complaining people. Plus it's a depressing place, I'd rather hang with the living.

I can't drink alcohol because of side effects from treatment.

No, I didn't say I don't believe in consequences. I said I don't believe in coincidences. IMO, everything happens for a reason. Especially those pesky natural consequences.

I never tell someone (i.e. a client), "You do that and there are gonna be consequences!" I teach a class at work on abuse/neglect. There's no need to say it; saying it is mean. In the setting of my job, the telling is considered abusive. The consequences come on their own 99% of the time.

I don't think the kid deserves a smack OR a snack. Getting hurt by the cookie jar landing on their head, is the consequence. I would use each instance as a teaching moment; i.e. "Do you know why your head hurts?" If they don't understand, then tell them why, and leave it alone. You can even do this while letting the child know they are still loved.

ETA...EEK! I actually wrote consequence in place of coincidence on my thread. Freudian slip?

What response of mine where I said explaining anything would work? I was kidding about telling her mother to think about what she did wrong.

I was kidding when I said to tell her to think about what she had done. I knew you were joking about that will teach her.

And that's the realization I came to. What you did was the right thing to do; instead of rewarding her by taking her to lunch, you dropped her off at her house. Natural consequence. It's also really not your place to teach her, especially since she has shown no indication of wanting to change. If she sincerely wanted to change, she would do what it takes to do that. When I realized I was hurting my loved ones and wanted to change 10 years ago, I called a T and a Pdoc and admitted, "I need help."

Your support group sounds completely non-supportive. What is the point of one-upping one another over cancer? Is there a facilitator in this meeting? If so, what does he/she do when this occurs.

Sorry about the vodka. I'd miss my occasional vodka, wine, and hard cider.

I'm apologize, I misread your joking remark as your opinion.

This is why I feel maybe I need to just stay away. I seem to be misreading people up one side and down another.

I have put a joking statement on it now. You and hankster both thought I was serious. I thought it was an obvious kidding thing to say. Like saying don't make me pull this couch over.(which is also a joke)

Sometimes the couch does need to be pulled over, Mom.

Oh, sorry Chopin! That makes more sense now!!

And I didn't mean to imply you said there will be consequences, I was asking if that was the kind of consequences you meant you didn't believe in, if you had said that, which you didn't.

And that answer was yes, which you and I are in agreement on.

Sorry, I shouldn't be so nitpicky on words, my phone keeps picking the wrong one for me. I guess I just needed to get that consequences question off my mind. I've missed your input here too.

ETA: I just read your ETA. hmm.... quite a coincidence!! .

Like I said, was that a Freudian slip on my part? I really did write "consequence" when I meant "coincidence".

I can tell I'm about to hit on something big. I had lots of dreams and nightmares last night, and woke up in a cold sweat this morning. That hasn't happened in awhile and usually results in a breakthrough. I hope I make it through this one. They're always difficult, but bring lasting change.

I just had a very very odd therapist dream during a nap.
It was the second therapist I see in the dream and she even had a face this time.
Her office was closed when I got there and so she said we would go to my house. Then we were at my house and we went into the bedroom where she got very close to me and I was backed into a corner, then she went and sat in a chair across the room. I stood by the dresser. She got up and ran to the bathroom twice and when she got back, chastised me for not being more sympathetic because it should have been obvious she was in distress and needed a hug. She kept on about it as she walked out of the house and finally I said there there and gave her back a pat. Her back had a huge bump like Igor under her clothes. She said that my attempt was pathetic and left. When I went back into the bedroom I saw the chair she had been sitting in had not cushion and she had been sitting on bare springs.
I hate dreams.

Stopdog, I had two very odd therapist dreams last night. I am trying to keep them in my mind so I can journal them. I think they contain some insight.

I need to get my butt up off the couch and go get my payroll from the group home, pick up some meds (that should help me and my weird reactionary state of mind tremendously), and go to the grocery store to get some healthy food.

Have a good afternoon, everyone.

Hey everybody! Hope your day has been a goodone so far. I'm finally getting over my sinus infection, ear infection and pink eye.... just in time to go a vacation!

Has anyone been to Key West?? If so...... what the heck did you do there???

Key West - we tried to out do each other talking in Hemingway sentence syntax and quoting him all the time with points if the other person could give the next lines of the text and rode scooters.

I hate dreams too.

Stopdog jokes? Did I miss something?

I love dreams and working with them. Both times I had dreams about my t she suggested they were about some aspect of myself, not actually about her. Who knows....? The Jungian view that my t follows is that dreams are the symbolic language your psyche uses to tell you things, to point you in the direction of things you need to pay attention to, etc. It is absolutely fascinating working through my dreams with my t, who is specially trained in dream work. When I used to say I hated my dreams, she'd always say "Don't be afraid of them Art. They're from another part of you and they're there to help you." something like that. Good luck with yours!!

.... and speaking of dream work with t, it's time for me to go call her.

SD... What is that dream supposed to mean? ????

That I am certifiable.

I thought we already established that? What you doing today my favorite Dawg?

Key West - everybody goes to watch the sun set, last time I was there. Do they still do that?

Afternoon Hank...what ya doin?

Actually cleaning house!!! T is gonna be freakin surprised! And thinking about dinner.

Im thinking about riding ATV's its a beautiful day here.... Glad your house is clean, my needs a scrub but I aint doin it today! The kids diapers/pullups leaked on everything last night and projectile vomiting due to excessive crabby patties.