The answer to life, the universe, and everything - Couch 42!

Once I sort my money situation out, I might be able to see one once every second week. I saw a second T for a while (while I was still seeing my current T). I'm not sure that I'd want to continue with her long term, but I might ask her to see me a few times if this situation really doesn't work out.

Great idea. I think talking to another T about what is happening with your current one could be really helpful

If you don't want to talk to the other therapist about your current T, it would still be helpful to talk about how things are going for you generally as you would hopefully receive a more supportive response and at least your general state of mind would have a chance to improve. (Although when it happened to me, it ALL became about the therapeutic relationship.)

I have to go offline now, Nightlight.

I hope you'll be ok

Thanks for your support. I'm trying all the time to make the most of what I've got. I'll just keep on trying.

I do wish that T had just replied to the text I sent yesterday. I don't usually initiate more than one text a fortnight and never did that until these ruptures began. She's always said it was okay to text when and if I needed to and she'd get back to me if she could. I wish this was a time when she could.

Just popping on the couch to say hi.
Long days and haven't been home much this last week.
Seeing t on Thursday and I am in a good mood...for now.

Hi Sconnie

I am (laughing at myself here) strangely anxious about the fact they have not locked the couch 41 thread and that people are still posting and I can't protect you people if you keep posting on it and they decide to get you. I have no idea what getting you all would entail and I do not believe anyone cares you are posting on couch 41, I cannot protect anyone from anything in general, none of you need my help, and none of this slight feeling of anxiousness is based in reality at all. You earthlings are on your own.

Hey Sconnie and Nightlight...

We really, really need rain. Does anyone want to send us some? The grass has died, the horse is too thin and not happy. As much as I'm enjoying the long spell of sunny days, we really need some rain before winter hits! Apparently they haven't officially declared a drought here yet, but our water supply is low. I drove out of the area where my horse is behind a water truck yesterday, so I guess the rural areas are having to bring water in now.

Hey StopDog.... you made me smile.... do you get anxious when other people "break the rules"?

Not always but sometimes. It depends.
It is very silly of me.

I don't quite understand why there is a limit on how many pages a thread can be, but I also am not one for shenanigans (for myself), so I shall continue to timidly and periodically post on the current couch only.

The thing is, I am not always anti-shenanigans. I am trying to figure out the difference between when I become anxious and when I do not. It is so illogical I may have to put my vulcan badge away for a couple of days until I return to normal.

Sometimes I do to... I have also been known to be embarassed "for" another person (which seems like it would be impossible but I manage it)

For myself I am not a rule breaker, but I do sometimes cheer for those that are able to do so in a respectable manner. At times I think that it would be nice to break free and not be so rigid, but then the worry always sets in for me.

ya but it feels kind of cool that you want to stop

ready how ya holding up did you get a new appointment

Dude I am a rule breaker.... sometimes, depends on the rule

I have an appt tomorrow night at 7pm... I'll have to stick right to the 50 minutes because I have to pick up my kids from church but I'm happy I got an appt.

I'm better now.... but I'm glad I have an appt because there is still doubt in my head.. but basically I'm not very accepting about my feelings of the past and I sort of blast myself for feeling a certain way and then to prove I'm right that I shouldn't feel that way I sort of try to find proof in things T says (although I'm taking it out of context)...so I'm getting better at realizing I do it... but there is a part of me who thinks...hmmm...but maybe that is what T meant...

so that's what I plan to make this session about...confirming what she means... talking about how my thinking twists what she says sometimes..

Lola the rebel...

I know. I even know it is none of my business whether you are or not.
It is kind of amusing to me while at the same time I can't stand watching it because of the anxiety of peril I cannot (and should not and even know is not real) stop.
Hence another reason why I never had children. And my dogs were safely crated when I could not watch them until they were a year or so old.

ready i think it will be a good session if you can just get everything out there and clear. so you are able to understand ware your T is comming. my T always seems to be very straight foward with me.

Thanks Granite... getting it out is the hard part because its sort of embarassing because I know its not logical and it doesn't make sense but I do it anyway and so to talk about that is sort of shameful...

Uhhh I'm somewhat of a perfectionist and critical of myself.... like my own worst enemy

Hey RTS - perhaps some insidious force is sucking the logic out of us.
That clearly is the most rational explanation.