Couch 55...And on it goes....

Well...I think I am off to grab some breakfast before work. I'll pop back in after I get home this afternoon.

I hope everyone has a decent day.

We're out of milk for our coffee; I can drink it without sugar but really loathe it without milk but what choice do I have; we don't even have any whipped cream. DH is taking his time before he'll go out and get more milk and eggs for breakfast. Meanwhile, I'll just sit here in the corner drinking my bitter brew and quietly starve

I woke up at 6:30am with a massive migraine... came down and took allergy medicine and two OTC pain killers with caffeine and went back to bed... it took the edge off the migraine but I can still feel it...

the sunny weather of yesterday has been replaced with the overcast skies we had all last week... sometimes my headaches are caused by the barometric pressure and sometimes they are caused by stress... maybe its both this time.

I'm trying real hard to not treat my H differently for what must be my issue... but what he said felt like a betrayal... and so its hard to not be "stone hearted" around him because its the only thing that keeps me from crying... I do NOT like to cry in front of him for things he has done to me... that really feels like giving him way too much power.

He apologized for hurting my feelings this morning (even though he says he has no idea what he did) and I told him its fine and its my issues to work through...

Am I the only one... when I'm on the forum list and the most recent relationship thread shows up on the list... and it says full frontal embracing...I always read "full frontal nudity" even though I went and read what the tread was about... again this morning my brain read full frontal nudity...

its like my brain has an automatic fill in feature for reading....

Ahh... the thunder has started... maybe there is relief for this headache soon... my golden retreiver is afraid of thunder so she's sitting here with me ... under the dining room table which I think reminds her of the safety of her crate. (which we don't use anymore)

"Full frontal" says it all, doesn't it??!! It's a buzzword, it doesn't matter WHAT supposably follows it! We know what they MEANT!

Stopdog, this is beautiful. Once I got this concept thru my own thick head, my therapy and my real life started to go a whole lot easier. I once had a boyfriend who would argue about whether we could even agree about what color we saw was blue or green. That's taking it a little too far imo but how people communicate is a mystery to me. We do assume too much Ie that the other person sees things the same way we do. RTS, my t would probably tell you to talk to your h.

Eta: except for stuff like full frontal. Nothing like contradicting myself!

RTS, sorry that you're suffering today. As you know, I can very much relate to getting migraines, and the change in barometric pressure is one of my major triggers. I hope it subsides soon.

I just got an email from the owner of my agency, informing me that I was voted as Interpreter of the Month! Woo hoo!!! Here was the message he sent:

Dear MUE,

Every month the staff of (agency) votes for the outstanding interpreter of the month.

It is with pleasure that I inform you that you were voted as the Interpreter of the Month for June, 2013. My staff rave about your willingness to go above and beyond for us at (agency) – it is greatly appreciated. You make our jobs here so much easier, and you show to all that (agency) AND you are truly a class act.

As a token of our gratitude for your hard work, an American Express gift card ($50) is being sent to you.

An announcement about your award is featured on our blog and has also been posted to various social media outlets, include FaceBook and Twitter – you are famous!

Thank you for being a part of our team!

Mue, that is fantastic!!

MUE....Congratulations!!!!!! Its so nice to be recognized for hard work!

Thanks, Hankster and RTS!

Considering I only started working with them in April, I feel so honored! It feels so nice to be appreciated and acknowledged - especially when it contrasts so greatly with what I experienced at my last job.

RTS, about the issue with your husband....I wonder if it's doing you more harm than good to just hold onto it as "your issue" and hope that the feelings just dissipate on their own. I'd imagine that taking some kind of action would help you move through the process, otherwise you're just swallowing the feelings (which can ultimately be called back up at other times until it's resolved) or being passive aggressive by hoping that your H will do something different based on your reaction.

Everyone's brain does I've been watching the Brain Games show on the National Geographic channel SEEING IS BELIEVING | Brain Games | National Geographic Channel

MUE... I considered talking to him but here is my reservation... what he said demonstrates the attitude of his heart? in other words, it shows how he truly feels because it just came out of his mouth... It wasn't just that he said... I don't like your hair cut or that purple isn't the best color on you... those things are something someone can learn like don't comment on my appearance unless I ask your opinion sort of thing...

If I ask him to "filter" everything to come out of his mouth to be what I want to hear, how will I truly know the attitude of his heart?

This isn't something that my H "can do differently"... he was sharing his thoughts... and I'm not hoping for anything different and so that is why I'm not sharing it with him. Its a different situation then say when my H told my son I was a "registered ___ (political party) when discussing the primary elections" and me going ballistic because after 24 years of marriage It's hard to believe my H doesnt' know that I think its totally wrong that I would have to register as anything to vote in the primaries.... I don't believe in "political parties" and that I vote for the best candidate...etc..etc..etc.." This I can tell him about this I can expect him to pay attention to ...this recent thing was his opinion...

I shouldn't be able to tell him his "opinion is wrong" or expect him to "change his opinion" ...then he will just be telling me what I want to hear and I don't want to be married to a puppet.

I thought they didnt let people who were registered in one party vote in the primary of other parties because they assumed they were just gonna try to mess it up. So you only get to vote in one primary?

Eta: but this is different from, are we a team? What he does to support the household or relationship is different from... idk...

Yes that is how it works where I live... so since I won't register as either party, I do not get to vote in the primary election.

I hear you, RTS. Do you have an idea of what you need from H? Or from yourself? It seems so tense - you feeling betrayed but not telling him, him apologizing but having no idea what for, you acting stone cold around him, etc.

You might not be able to get him to change his feelings or opinions, but I'd imagine there's value in you not holding onto the disappointment and sadness that you feel. Maybe there's opportunity for clarification, seeing things differently, negotiating something that may feel more tolerable.

Then do you and your h share the same political affiliation? I can see if one of you is a red-stater and the other is a blue-stater, that there might have to be an agreement to disagree On politics. But other stuff ...

(((Ready))) It's so hard to be so sad with the person who is your partner in life. The one who we cling to when all of hell comes unglued...you should KNOW that he loves you. I am not saying you are wrong for not knowing, I am saying it just SUX that you don't...and I hate that you have to endure this feeling.

************TRIGGER WARNING>...gross talk of death**************





Went to church, got a call from my other niece...her brother and his wife had a 1lb preemie about a month ago. I did a campaign to raise them some money. Well, the baby took a turn for the very worst last night. At this point it doesn't look like our little Avery is going to make it. I am so heart broken for my nephew...he lost his dad in Feb, and this was he & his wife's first child. On another weird note...my crazy is acting up badly from this news. I keep seeing "little coffin" in my head. I know that I am creepy and grotesque for thinking this way. I hate that my mind does this, and I am picturing dead babies. Please don't think I am awful...I just can't tell anyone what goes thru my head as it's inappropriate...but I am being tormented by the image.

Hankster, I'm more independent and he is more of a die hard one political party...but that wasn't what I was getting at..

I guess what I meant was I feel like I have a "right" or am justified to complain that he doesn't know how I feel about primaries since I have felt this same way and have never voted in one in 24 years...

but this other situation is one that is more of his thoughts and believes and I don't think I have the "right" or am justified in telling him his thoughts or opinions or belief's are wrong...

I know that he loves me... I just know now that he is not "here" for me with real life issues or decisions... he doesn't see it us as a team... its him and its me and the kids...

Wiki...I'm so sorry to hear about little Avery... and I will be praying for her and your whole family...

Wiki....try to be kind to yourself... to be honest as I read it doesn't look like she is going to make it... a picture of a little white coffin came into my mind as well... I don't think you are "creepy and grotesque" for thinking this way... I think if you could see that it wasn't so abnormal it wouldn't have the same power over you that it does... I was very attached to a baby of a family that I babysat for as a teenager die (they knew she was going to die had an uncorrectable birth defect) and I had lots of these same thoughts...

Just accept that you have these images and thoughts and don't give them power to affect how you feel about yourself... its a fear that lots of people have...

Hankster...you can vote in the primaries if you are NOT registered with a party, but you can only vote in either/or not both. If you are registered with a party, you are correct, you have to vote in that party's primary.

Thanks Ready...it really helps to think it's not just my creepy mind.