The Couch - Welcome to the Psychedelic 70's

I have a very difficult time talking, I stutter badly, and I can't express myself in T. For years I had a T who would say "so, what do you want to talk about?" I'd shrug and he'd say things like, "well, we can just cancel today's session then". If you aren't a NON-talker, you just won't understand the silence that fills your brain. The freeze that happens as you forget everything including that note in your purse that you wanted to read.

Then I had XT, who would walk me thru things. "can you tell me more about that?" "Is it because you were _____, or am I misinterpreting" "Have you had any rough days this week? Tell me what was going on?"
It wasn't an interrogation, it was a "leading". Big difference. He also ASKED if I would email at least once a week, to help direct the sessions. Things I found hard to say I could write, then he'd ask clarifying questions about it.

Granite is artistic, she loves to write cards and stories. There are a MILLION ways to help someone to talk. Just sitting there in silence staring at them is definitely NOT one of them.

Thanks for asking CE.

Granite I have been pretty crappy at offering support latley but I want you to know I am sorry you had a bad experience today and I'm glad your H sent you such a sweet note.

1 week until I get to sit in a courthouse praying I don't get selected to be on a jury. Turned a copy of my summons into the school secretary today, so she can enter it into the computer/payroll system, so I can be excused from work that day and still get paid without using sick time. T tells me it's fun to be on a jury because someone else's fate is in your (and 5 other people's) hands. Juries in my county are only comprised of 6 people for some reason. I think she has a "sick" definition of fun. I don't agree with the justice system, so maybe that is why I don't want to serve.

In college I was a a pretty strong Libertarian in my political views. After graduating college I realized that I didn't agree with a lot of it anymore and changed to NPA (no party affiation) on my voter registration. However I still hold some of the Libertarian views, maybe that will make the prosecution not want me. Defense would probably love that I don't agree with the justice system as they would think I would go "easy" on their client. The state however (I assume) would not like that very much.

im going to ask her to do this when and if I can bring myself to see her next week.i have no luck finding a T on y own maybe she can at least do that

she didn't even remember we had a session last week . she started the session with so its been a few weeks sense we have met so much for her even remembering what I said last week never mind thinking it was even remotely important. I guess maybe it really isn't .she didn't want to talk about it then and didn't even remember we even had a session . this is why I just even wonder if y life is even real these days . im just hurt

it is weekly isn't it .I am so so sorry .you sweet people did have a break because I had not seen her in about a month. im so sorry

I always thought I could call her and she always called me back when I did .I guess no more that either as the office closes at 8

Hmmm...I think the only Libertarian views I still hold (I just looked at their most recent platform) are the ones concerning drug use. So, it looks like the state would only "hate" my views if it was a trial dealing with drug possession. Drat!

ETA: If I could say I believed in some of my father's/stepmom's views or mother's/stepfather's views without laughing, I would easily get out of duty...but the problem is I would laugh if I tried to say I believed in them.

You deserve some peace. You really do. You deserve peace and happiness and to not have to live in turmoil.

glad to hear jersey .it does seem like you have a bit more work to do

Agree with Jersey..... Granite its ok honest, we all love you.

Good luck with Jury Duty Squirrel!

Jersey glad you got some answers too, hope your T continues to be a good one for you. And eat something already, Im fixin to send you some southern comfort food ..... you will gain weight on the CC diet , butter is my friend!

I like steak. If it's not 9 days old.

I totally survived and it was YUMMMMMMMYYYYYYYY

Still waiting for the neuro's office the PCP referred me to, to call me. If they don't call tomorrow, I will probably try calling them Thursday.

When I was in his (PCP) office yesterday, he asked if I had seen the neuro yet. I said I was still waiting for a call to schedule an appointment. Guess he isn't going to forget suggesting I see a neuro. So, I will go see one just to make him shut up about it. I looked up NF stuff online (a hell of a lot more is known about it now than when I was a kid). The official NF organization's webpage said children should be checked yearly until age 18, then if the case is mild, they may only need to see a neuro every 3-5 years. I assume mine is mild, but I guess I just want to prove to my PCP that it is by having the neuro tell me I am fine and to come back in a few years to be rechecked.

I just hope you don't get sick.

It was 2 days ago,I would have already been sick.

Maybe but I have gotten sick days later that I believe was due to eating something that had gone bad (sometimes it takes some time to go through your system)

and while I type this I am watching an episode of "Dads" where they are throwing up everywhere

So .... I am faced with a massive decision and of course Ill look to the couch for answers....

I have a few job opportunities... one pays very well and is dead end, the other pays pretty good and has no accolades and an undetermined amount of potential and the other , the pay is up in the air but it's a ton of travel and unknown potential.... what should I do?

Either take one of them or keep looking if you don't really want to do either.

A well-paying dead-end job might be exactly what you need right now. I think so.

When I was faced with either taking a regular temp job vs a temp-to-perm job I went with the temp job for a few reasons, mainly because I didn't feel that much assurance that I would last much at the temp-to-perm job (I had recently taken a similar job and only lasted 2 days), plus the money at the temp job was a whole lot more [40 Hours/Week at $17.75/Hour (plus the first week I got 10 hours overtime) vs 20 Hours/Week at $9.50/Hour].

When in doubt, twirl. This advice may only be good for Dead shows. Or You could make a list, LC

I would not take the job where all the travel is involved as that weighs on you physically and mentally.

Well, I need to go shower (it's almost 9pm) and start getting ready for bed. Have C in the morning.

Almost missed his bus today because he didn't want to turn off Sponge Bob. The bus pulled in right after we got to the stop. Ooppss! At least we didn't miss it. Have to start getting him ready to leave earlier tomorrow in case he doesn't want to turn off the TV again.

Have a good night (or day) everyone.

This is what I was thinking.... slow and steady, for now.....

Thank you all for weighing in, my job has always been a source of self confidence for me and although it shouldn't define you... in my eyes money=success , as I was raised very very poor and I know its not the correct way to feel.