Couch 79: Spend some time on Couch 79 (snap, snap)

I think hedging is useful.

Eh, beef activates my arthritis!

Beef, yuck.

And just read back a bit, and I want MY t now! Same, like I want my mum. Just around, reading her book and stuff. She wouldn't even have to talk to me

Also shrubbery.

I make some awesomely delicious Vietnamese style pineapple beef. Definitely unyuck and excellent for arthritis

"We want a SHRUBBERY!"

Deleted post. It wasn't anyhting interesting. Nothing to see here, move along.

Whatever it was, BP, I hope you're okay.

Trigger warning for discussion of animal death***************

I woke up at 4 this morning, bolted out of bed and was halfway across my living room before I knew what was really happening. My daughter was apparently just coughing really loudly, but for some reason, I thought she was throwing up or somehow in danger. I am really on edge. Yesterday morning, we found one of the new kittens dead. She just looked like she was asleep, but she was gone. At midnight, she was playing and snuggling. At 6:30 am, she was dead. No idea what happened. My vet says it was likely just an internal organ failure of some kind. She was the tiniest of the kittens, significantly smaller than the others, and apparently the local feral population is very inbred and has a lot of these kinds of issues. It was really shocking to all of us, though, because there was absolutely no warning. We had taken the kittens to the vet and they all seemed really healthy.

Two of the others already have new homes, and I have been checked obsessively on the one we still have. Poor kitten is going to be seriously sleep deprived because we all keep double checking to be sure he is alive.

No, not in translation. But thank you.

so sorry MKAC . I hope the others will stay ok . there can be a lot of hidden problems with the runts in the litters.

Sorry to hear the news about the kitten..MKAC

Sorry too about lil puddy

One o our last litter o pups was a runt. I had to eed him with the tiniest bottle ever!
Letter between e and g isn't working or some reason, may e os I spilt pikle on the ipad. Oh okay letter between b and d too...
Need to hide ipad and pretend i know nothing about it now....

I'm goings to plant some shrubs this afternoon. A rhododendron and some ushias. Not ushias. Arghhhhhh

Hi, finally fixed my problem with laptop and is a lot easier to post here as opposed to my ipad or iphone.

Sorry to hear about the kitty MKAC.. How is your daughter doing? Hope everyone else is doing well.

*******TW for talk of SA and sex in general*******

I had T session yesterday, and it was unexpectedly a very heavy session. We started off talking about how I had to be in the same room as my abuser without any warning on Thursday. Then, t started asking me questions about the abuse that happen at the hands of this individual, and said we have talked about the rape a lot, but not this...ugh, was not expecting it. However, I think I was ready to talk about it a little more. Which lead into a discussion about sex/Intimacy in my life now.. When T claimed my view on sex is kind of cynical and not as rational as I thought it was. I was surprised by that. At first, I was surprised that I have speny most of my adult life with this view and it is not rational.. But then, as time went on.. I am left at.. who is T to proclaim that my view is cynical and not rational.. T strikes me as kind of romantic type and of course sex is going to be about intimacy, being close to his wife, etc.. I see it as more of a we use each other kind of tool and not as a way to be close. Whose to say my T has the more healthier view of sex than me? Aren't they both just opinions anyways?

I don't think it is a given that a therapist has a healthier opinion of anything than I do.

Your therapist is coming at it from a Christian slant, Healed. Isn't he? I thought he was a therapist who incorporates religion? If I'm remembering wrong, I apologize. Anyway, I think most people from that particular mind set will see sex in a way the way that therapist describes, and the broader population might not agree. I do not find your viewpoint particularly cynical. Although that is perhaps because I share it and have also experienced sexual abuse, so you may want to take that with a grain of salt.

I also think that peoples views of it changes over time and where you are in life.... I think older people have a different view than they did when they were younger.

(Of course it might just be a way for older guys to deal with the..I'm not as good as I once was syndrome )

That being said my H asks why I don't refer to sex using nicer or more romantic terms like making love..and I just want to either puke or laugh so I'm most likely in your same boat...

MKAC- he is not Christian T, but he is a verrrrrry liberal Christian and we do talk a lot of Christianity in my session. So, I don't think his view is "as Christian" as say our MC who is an evangelical Christian.. BUT- I do think you are right that religion may play a role in Ts view on sexuality. And like I mentioned before, he is a romantic at heart, he is all about wooing his W and feeling close, etc... So, we are different in those aspects. So, I can appreciate that he has a different view then mine.. that is fine, but it kind of came off as he was right and I was wrong.. .I don't like that. But- I do suspect if taken a survey, A LOT of people would agree with my view of sex.

I had a change in plans this weekend so I could go to my session last night...so I texted 2 hours before to see if she had an opening still..which was a big step for me to ask and she said to come in...

I talked about all my concerns about prolonged exposure therapy and my personal weird memory issues and how all of that would be handled....I had already read the book for therapist all about it so I was asking very specific things...

I decided to go through with it....it will be about 3 to 4 weeks preparing for it... 3 to 4 weeks of things getting a lot worse.. And then improvement...

Nothing is going to be different unless I start doing things different ...

Personally I feel... relieved to have made the decision... hope that things can be different... and scared to death of the process.

(I know not everyone agrees with this type of therapy but hope when I am low you will still be around to support me)

RTS - I hope it goes well. And what ever kind of therapy works for any one person is not for anyone else to judge, in my opinion.

I'm so sorry to hear about the kitten, mkac.

And I am surprised to hear that there are people in the real world who view sex as anything other than brief taking advantage of another body. To claim that it can be about intimacy and closeness is irrational romantic fluffiness which belongs in the realm of fiction - your view is entirely rational as far as I can see, healed.

Question for the people here who know about law: what do you call a prenuptial agreement that is entered into by people who are already married? Postnuptial?

I view some sex as intimacy and closeness. I don't think it has to be, and I don't think sex only has value if viewed that way, but certainly I have experienced sex as an intimate and creating closeness and a shared knowing with my partners. And I really don't think of myself as all that romantic or irrational or fluffy.

Postnuptial would be the name for such a contract.

I don't think of you as romantic or irrational or fluffy either Stopdog

For me, personally, sometimes sex is so loving, sharing and intimate that it feels like a total bonding experience.
Sometimes, it is a quick 'push the button' fix.
Most of the time, somewhere in between