Too Needy?

I am really struggling with being to needy. Everthing is so out of sorts in life right now, I am having trouble coping. I keep saying that I will not call or email my T inbetween sessions but something always comes up. He is very sweet and gracious about it but I feel just dreadful over it all. I have an appointment tomorrow and I desperately need to go but I don't want to because I am so ashamed that I had to email him yesterday. I saw him last Friday and Monday, and called him the Saturday before that. Actually I didn't make the call to him a friend did but I ended up on the phone with him.I am so afraid that I bother him. I just hate where I am at in life, it is so difficult. I don't know what is appropriate and what is too much. I don't know. I wish things were different.

Hey purplemoon take it easy on yourself! I'ts ok to be needy! Don't feel ashamed or bad about it. Your t is here to help with that. Can I make a suggestion? What you said in your post was a great way to explain to your t your feelings surrounding the "neediness". I'll bet that if you can share this with your t, they will be understanding and will have an explanation for you that will be supportive and encouraging. It will help take the fear and shame out of the needy feeling......i know exactly what you mean but you have to put it out there for t to help you and know where your head is. If you don't, then you're batting this around with yourself and that's no funa dn can make you feel nuts.

(((((((purplemoon))))))

Thanks Talulah. I would love to be able to share these thoughts with my T but I won't - I would be so afraid that he would tell me that I am way to needy and to stop. I have always been very self reliant and this whole phase in my life is just about killing me. I think he knows that I hate being needy. He always tells me that I need to ask for help. Last week I did ask someone for some help and they were able to help me. When I told my T about it - he was very happy that I had actually asked for help and told me so and then said to me but you hate asking for the help and hate receiving the help don't you, of course I told him that he was absolutely right. I think he knows me fairly well. He has never done anything to make me feel rejected but I am just waiting for the day he says that he doesn't want to do this anymore. Ugh!!!

Ahhhhhhhhh yes, I know that feeling and where you are at with T. It's ok, maybe you're not ready yet to say these things to your T. Just know, if you ever need/want to, your T may need you to need him..............just a bit as that is what a big fear for you may be.....just food for thought, you reaching out to T for help is often a very necessary thing...

Take care!

purplemoon, I'm glad you were able to ask for help from someone else and receive it. That's so hard. I think asking for help from others can provide us with support and maybe make having to depend on our T's less all consuming.

When I went to see my first counselor a year and a half ago, I was in the midst of a crisis, was falling apart, was depressed, etc. I had this idea that I would go to therapy and work on my problems there with her. The counselor insisted I share my "burden" with others in my life--friends and family--because my problems were something I kept "secret" from the world. She said she couldn't be "the only one" in my life who I talked about my problems with. She said I needed a support team outside of her office. So she really worked on getting me to share with others. I was very resistant to this idea, but I did do it, and sure enough, just like she said, it was helpful and relieved a lot of my stress to have these multiple people who knew I was having trouble and were supportive.

Anyway, I know it is hard to feel so needy, but maybe if several friends and family members can help, rather than just your T, it will help make you feel you are not placing too great of a burden (your neediness) on any one person.

(((hugs)))

Hello Purple moon.
Have you tried journaling your thoughts daily. This is sometimes helpful in breaking the need to email the therapist as often when you are able to see for yourself the progress or problems you may be having yourself. Journaling makes things seem more real so that you can bring up the real issues you are having with your therapist when you have therapy sessions. Therefore your therapy sessions are more productive. I hope the best for you Purple moon. Take care soidhonia

(((((((((((((((((Hugs)))))))))))))))))

I know how hard it is to feel needy, but out of ANYONE i think that this one relationship it is OKAY to be feeling this way. It is very normal for people to develop attachments to those that they confide in, and while maybe it doesn't feel right because it is on a professional level, it really is okay and it will just take some time. Try and talk to your T about it .. you don't have to tell them everything, but they can help you, and they won't tell you your being dumb or silly ... i know its hard, but you can do it, and you will be okay.

Take good care of yourself,
Jacq