Couch 121: An Intimate Chat.

Times a million. Good for you for being strong Granite...because you ARE!

omg i had my son take me out and i have another call from the mother .i havnt listened to it .i dont know what to do she is only going to get worse and worse the more she calls

Not only does No. 2 not know what gaslighting means, she doesn't know what cyberstalking is.

Can you have someone else delete it for you? Change your number? Block her number?

I've had to do all of these things with future ex. It's lovely not to have heard his voice for several months now.

im scared to listen to it im scared she is going to be all crying because i wont talk to her and ill be dragged back into her drama or she is going to be all how dissapointed she is in me and will never call me again all of witch are hurtful . didnt she need to say all she needed to say in her last call nothing good can come from this one

it has been weeks sense i told her i was done with her . she has not contacted me and now she is using my ankles being injured as a way to try and talk to me
i listened to it it is that same threatening voice saying that she knows i have hated her sense i was 13 but she still wishes i would call her and tell her if im alright

Ignorance is...............bliss? Or something?

i will not call the mother i will not call the mother

(((granite)))
Don't call the mother - write here instead.

i feel so guilty thinking she is worried about me and that i have hated her sense i was 13

Have you ever seen the Charlie Brown cartoon? Where the teacher talks and all the kids hear is "wah wah wah wah." Tune out your mother's narcissistic lunacy. All she's doing is trying to reassert herself so she can control you again.
Be strong. DO NOT CALL YOUR MOTHER. You have EVERY RIGHT to hate her. I am pretty sure most of us hate her as well...and we've never had the pleasure of experiencing her.

Be strong

all that i have done with her over the last many years and all she says is i hate her

I actually feel coherent and somewhat decent today. It's been a long time. Going to do some catch up office work since I'm home from work early and then see where the day leads. I even signed up for another gym membership, forgot to get my pass on my way home but I'm going to start lifting again and I'm happy about it.

Granite i have used that exact same expression to my t, "nothing good can come of it." When you think of it, that is a very weird thing to say about what we are talking about. Its more like, thats what you would say about playing with fire, or driving blindfolded, or stg! Not m.o.m. its crazy, but it is what it is.

for the last 25 years all i have ever done is try and help her and to make up for what a horrible person i was to her . i dont know what else i can do and now after all that she says i hate her . i cant apologize any more then i already have i dont know what else i can do .

What about expecting her to make up to YOU for how horrible she was to you?

Not happening, right? You've done your time. Take a leaf from her book. Plus I imagine you weren't horrible to her at all.

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She has a kid who just graduated high school. So she knows what cyberbullying is. Can't she put cyber and stalking together?

Do you think she is just being wiley and wants to hear it explained from your perspective?

We have a new cat. She's camera shy so no pictures yet. Her name is MuMu. I am a sucker for a sweet face and a sob story. She's going to be our only pet for right now, all the others moved out with bonus teen.

I would suspect the therapist of messing with me rather than really not knowing.

I'm sure I'm totally projecting from current T but sometimes I get the feeling that Ts live in constant fear that if they stretch their kidneys even a teeny tiny bit more than they're used to in order to understand what clients are saying, their grey matter will rocket straight out of their skulls or something.

I would not believe a therapist who said they didn't know the meaning of gaslighting or cyberstalking. Thinking of them as lying in that case is much better than finding out they are a complete bonehead.

I think I may have ended my losing therapy streak of mumbletysome years. Huge breakthrough, followed by emailing 5 single-spaced pages of disclosure that would cause most therapists to hand me a referral while showing me the door--5 pages that she read and replied to in the best way possible, followed by sending her another document that she read and did not have time to respond to, but then followed up that she couldn't help herself and had to say something within the space of time she had. I'm a little stunned, but in a good way, considering there is anything good in all of this.

Granite, it's the mother who is horrible, not you. She has treated you horribly for so many years, ever since you were young. The mother has no right to harm you, and continue to harm you. You can feel whatever feelings you have about her. It is not wrong to hate the mother.

Thanks for sharing that ruh roh. Makes me feel better about the two super long emails i sent my t earlier this week. I'm so glad your t responded so well. Hugs if you want 'em.

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