Couch 121: An Intimate Chat.

Packing is done, cooler is packed with waters, gatorades, and soda, and this girl is heading for a (probably tearful) bath and then bed.

I miss t probably because I'm heading out of town tomorrow at noon. When I'm at home, she's only 15 minutes away. Not that I would go to her house, but it's comforting that she's so close when I am getting so emotional. You know? The plus for me, in knowing where she lives (since I see her at her home office). But I'm going about 8 hours away. Oh well. All will be well. She'll still be just a text or phone call away if I really get desperate. I don't think I will though. I'm determined to let loose and have fun.

Night couchies!!

omg one more thing then i'm going you know who's imagination is in the gutter is my BOSS at work. Today as I was leaving, she was walking back to her desk and said "look I got a new toy!" I'm like, what is it, it was a plastic pump for blowing up balloons. She is awful - she put it near her privates area and started pumping it and goes "ooh nasty" and then she said "It's been a looooong time" and I turned a million shades of red and covered my eyes and said oh no I did not just witness that. and ran out of there. that was horrible right in the middle of work. I could probably report her.

Do we have to call the aspca for junior cat?

Eta - omg art!!! If it were a man you would!!

Only someone with a death wish would try to put clothes on a cat.

I think that might have been more due to the fact that he constantly played Gilbert and Sullivan on the ship's organ.

Had to open the door so the puppy could see I hadn't done anything nefarious with the bear. He is fine now.

OOOO! A G&S sing song. Though even I could get tired of it if played to excess.

IN my hometown we had a family of doctors , father and 2 sons, who were part of the G&S society. Any opportunity for them to get dressed up in drag.

So... how do you deal with strong negative emotions where you just feel crappy even though you're trying not to think of the painful event?

I can't avoid the brother who traumatised me and he's also one of those guys who likes to rant about "everyone is so effing politically correct these days."

I walk away when he comes up to me with his rants but my brain plays what he did to me for hours upon hours afterwards even when I've removed myself from his presence.

OMG! I can't stand the smell of incense. It makes me want to punch people in the head. AAARRRGGHHH!!!

Puppy and bear reunited

And here's a

That was otterly wonderful. I love otters.

When I have to see my brother, it helps a little to pamper myself afterward like I was sick or had just had something terrible happen (which I did! Retraumatization is no joke).

It doesn't make things fine, but I think it helps me manage the thoughts and feelings better than when my strategy was to turn off after seeing him and pretend I was unaffected.

Wow, I've been trying for years to pretend that I'm unaffected and it basically sends me into a self hatred spiral.

Also, he threatens suicide so I'll "counsel" him.

I love him and I hate him. I have little choice but to live with him too. In my culture, adult children stay with parents till they marry.

ETA: today I broke down in my room and wept instead of self harmed. Put myself to bed, thought of T's words "self care is not about basic activities of living like combing your hair. It's about being cared for - allowing yourself to be cared for and caring for yourself", stared and stared at your words, stared at the hugs of care... cried some more.

Thought of the young me getting traumatised by the brother and wept and wept.

I feel better now...for a bit. Took myself out of the house, sitting at a McDonald's.

Not hurting yourself is HUGE! You don't need any more pain. You're in enough as it is.

I hope you feel better as the day goes on.

Can I ask you all something.. I've been part of a recovery group for 4 years, the church we were in kicked us out, because they are building on, and want to save money too, well I found a place for us, 2 of our groups started meeting at this other place but there is no childcare like there was at the other place.. I can't do it without childcare, i've been stressing everyweek to find.. I feel like I just want to let it go. I've been one of the "spearheads" so to say ...but I feel like I just helped the process and now my time is done. I just got invited to join a group for CSA. and they have childcare, I've never had this opportunity but I have to tell the other leaders of my current group. I'm a little nervous about letting them down..// advise??

You've got a totally sensible reason. You can tell them you've appreciated and enjoyed your time with the group, but childcare is a must so you need to change to the other group. Change is a part of life and it doesn't mean you don't value the time you've spent with the group.

omg just because my life was not miserable enough the mother saw my post about my ankles on FB even though i unfriended her i didnt know about the public thing i have now changed it so only friends could see my posts but she called me . i panicked but didnt know what to do i was paralyzed. i didnt answer the phone . i hate her and i hate my life .all she said was she hopes to hear from me soon because SHE is concerned .

i just listened to the message again it was all so formal . no care in it at all . she had that voice i so remember that is scary . all controlled like . i wish i had words to describe it completely unnerving

Good for you not answering, and try not to call her back - she's just looking for a way back into your life.

I need to live with you just for the online stuff you find. Or, In my next life i want to come back as your cat.

thats one of the hard things not feeling horribly guilty and not calling her back. its like i want to call and say im fine and hang up but even doing that will open the door for more

I hate how the mother treats you.

I want to beat her up for how horribly she has treated you. She's toxic and it's not your fault.

Facebook Help center is quite user-friendly, you can search in question format and there's a section on privacy.