Couch 127: The Wayward Couch

It's not bad that you are feeling this way, art. Therapy is supposed to be a place for these kinds of feelings to emerge so you notice them and engage with them. And you are! You're doing a great job. January sounds like it is going to be a tough month for you, so be kind to yourself, and take care!

Thanks, echos.

Art, I saw what you wrote in the other thread, the comment your therapist made about not being equals. I would have a really hard time keeping a lid on my response to something like that. I'm sorry she said what she said. It's not true. Rooting for you to sort this out with her.

Thanks. I just wish i could learn how to feel anger in the moment. It so often only comes later like this time and then i can find a reason to blame myself. I'm not going to accept it from myself this time though. I started to but you guys helped me not do that. I'm gonna trust that like in the past, we will work it out. My anger at her will just be a memory by the time i see her again, so that should make it less scary.

Sorry, Art, that you're having a rough time.
Sounds like you have a lot to discuss with her.

Try not to beat yourself up. I do the same thing with people sometimes. Like someone says something, and it hurts, but I don't say anything right away, like it doesn't process till I leave the situation, and then I'm like, hey!! that's not cool. It's like I freeze. I've gotten better at reacting in the moment with work on myself and time. Tangent: it's funny because I went from one extreme to the other, very passive all my life and letting people treat me like crap, to "Hey!! That's not cool, like in yo face!" Especially on the internet. I am learning how to be more assertive. Balance it out. Anyway, I'm really sorry that your T said that to you. I don't know the context, or the situation, and wonder if she meant about the balance / imbalance of power between T and client. But it sounds like there's more to it than that.

Also I just discovered this thread. I really like the intention behind Wayward Couch. Pretty cool

This is probably a horrid thing to say...but if one of my siblings died unexpectedly, and the next day my mother said "I want to be with sibling," and then died herself, I would feel really abandoned and worthless?

I should not watch the evening news. Maybe Xanax will help.

I have absolutely no doubt that my mother would do exactly that if my younger sibling died. At my father's funeral, she refused to sit next to my older sibling or me. Grabbed younger sibling and would not let her enter the pew at the church until older sib and I had gone in, so younger sib would be next to the mother.

I do feel sorry for the son if DR really did say she had to die to be with Fisher. My mother would have thought she lost the good child if my sibling had died before her.

Welcome to the couch!! The title continuously changes every 1,000 posts or so... But we are always a bit wayward here!

(bolded part) she likely did. but it was just the way she said it. y'know? just that little lilt or something in her voice that said to me "how dare you sit there and think we are equals? I am so above you!" now my t would never in a million years SAY that out loud even if she did think it. And I honestly can't even imagine her thinking it, now that I've calmed down about it all, but for whatever reason, it came out that way the other evening.

Thanks couchies for your support this past few days. I'm settled now within myself (no more rants, at least until I talk to t again on 1/7. at that point all bets are off) and for now anyway, am feeling actually rather empowered by admitting to myself that yes I am angry with t for some of the things she said. And it will be good practice for me to go in there a week from tomorrow and start a conversation about it.

Isn't it amazing how many emotions we can go through in the day or two after a session? I am glad you feel settled and know what you want to discuss with your T.

Absolutely. Another reason there ought to be a handbook for clients!!
And I think I did a little more growing-up in the past couple days too.

Moving my living room around to make it more exercise-friendly. Its a good workout just doing this! Also so the sun isnt in my eyes so much.

I have reached the conclusion that i do not like red wine. Ptooey! At least, not the ones in my budget lol. I shall stick to white wines. I like lots of the ones I've tried.

And i don't have any right now boo.

Are you trying to intimidate yourself into giving up vital national secrets?

If trump loves putin so much, why doesnt he just marry him?! Am i the only infant thinking this?

They would look so lurvely together.

Huh. I just realized that if we add Ras- to the beginning of Putin's name...

Both their eyes creep me out.

What would we call them - trumtin? putump?

Y'know my friend at work that just got the new position that I said I was so purely happy for? Well I went and visited her today at her new desk, and told her how purely happy for her I really am, and I started crying lol but she is used to me.... so she just stood up and hugged me. I need to spend more time with her.

DR and CF special on 20/20 on ABC now- 10pm EST.