Couch 129: The Semiprime Couch

TrailRunner14 · Jan 27, 2017, 12:17 PM

It's so good to see you here again!! You were missed!!

ruh roh · Jan 27, 2017, 12:25 PM

For those who had asked about my session yesterday: my hand was hurt, but not seriously injured. The other one was injured a few months ago and is still healing, so things like yesterday cause a flare up. It all has to do with abuse memories and dealing with gender and orientation issues that are all tied up in the past and with d id that resulted from it all and that I can't get away from. My therapist had one way to approach things--slower and more cautious--and I had another. She was right. I will admit that now. I've contacted her since then to help stabilize things that are happening because of my condition. She's not angry, but we have to figure out how to do this safely. She said it was a breakthrough though, which I agree. But it's messy and frightening.

biggrlsdntcry44 · Jan 27, 2017, 12:31 PM

Hi I'm more here. My name is Terry. I have a question. Has anyone here had an experience with lamactil rash? I'm not even sure that's what I have but I've looked at a few pics on the internet and I'm a bit worried. I don't know if I should call my pdoc, my gp, or my dermatologist. Smug suggestions?

junkDNA · Jan 27, 2017, 12:34 PM

does anyone on the couch struggle with drug addiction

junkDNA · Jan 27, 2017, 12:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ruh roh

For those who had asked about my session yesterday: my hand was hurt, but not seriously injured. The other one was injured a few months ago and is still healing, so things like yesterday cause a flare up. It all has to do with abuse memories and dealing with gender and orientation issues that are all tied up in the past and with d id that resulted from it all and that I can't get away from. My therapist had one way to approach things--slower and more cautious--and I had another. She was right. I will admit that now. I've contacted her since then to help stabilize things that are happening because of my condition. She's not angry, but we have to figure out how to do this safely. She said it was a breakthrough though, which I agree. But it's messy and frightening.

im glad she didnt freak out about you punching the door. she must really understand how difficult this is for you . i think your T is good... i hope she can help you heal

Demunie · Jan 27, 2017, 12:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ruh roh

For those who had asked about my session yesterday: my hand was hurt, but not seriously injured. The other one was injured a few months ago and is still healing, so things like yesterday cause a flare up. It all has to do with abuse memories and dealing with gender and orientation issues that are all tied up in the past and with d id that resulted from it all and that I can't get away from. My therapist had one way to approach things--slower and more cautious--and I had another. She was right. I will admit that now. I've contacted her since then to help stabilize things that are happening because of my condition. She's not angry, but we have to figure out how to do this safely. She said it was a breakthrough though, which I agree. But it's messy and frightening.

Maybe your T should get a punching bag

Glad your hand isn't seriously injured. Feelings can be scary. You know, at least you now know for sure that your way wasn't perfect. That's better than living in doubt about it for years, and regreting that things didn't get tackled faster, I think.

Quote:

Originally Posted by QuietMind

Good point!

is it because you're used to his presence so the place feels strangely empty?

Yes and no... It's more that I feel non-existent when noone is around. That it doesn't matter what I do or don't do as I'm not affecting anyone

junkDNA · Jan 27, 2017, 12:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ellahmae

Husband has been home since June. He's trying, doesn't make it less difficult. T said we were playing 'games' because I haven't been open with him about what's really 'going on'.

T switched phones and was transferring texts when she realized there were 5,000 texts from me in 2 years.... and that the relationship needed to change because she was walking with me every single day (at her request might I add) and she couldn't do that anymore, she didn't realize how enmeshed it had become. What irratated me - that I have yet to bring up is she keeps focusing on the 5,000 texts from me.... I just transferred phones and I have a total of 11,000 in our conversation.... meaning sure 5,000 from me but 6,000 from her. So I'm not the 'problem'. I guess I just wish she would say that she sent me that many as well, not just how many I sent her. Does that make sense? Anyway, we are working through things.

Had to change pdocs in Nov since mine let me down big time and I got 'lost' in the system because of it. T was pissed, more than pissed, at her. I like the new one so much better. I feel bad for the previous one, like I am not giving her a second chance or that I'm leaving her. T makes it known that she was the one that abandoned me especially during a big crisis, and she was wrong.

What else is new? I have blackberry colored hair now. Therapy is getting harder as I'm starting to say more about my past. I'm dissociating more, or maybe I just realize it more now that I know what's happening. Working on working together with my inner system, and that's really hard. I've never been open about this with anyone (except 3 people) so me to post about it is a rather large step. I'm still embarrassed about it but I want to accept myself and heal.

I've missed the couch and I hope everyone is doing okay.

hi ellahmae. i am going through something similar with my therapist. i have the same thoughts you do... about the T having a role in becoming enmeshed too. i think its all too easy to blame the client as i am 'mentally ill'. i wonder if my T will own up to the fact that he has a part in this too. i am not sure if he will. i hope you can work it out with your therapist. i know how painful it feels

unaluna · Jan 27, 2017, 01:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by artemis-within

Sunday- Friday lol!

You're like Dowager Violet on Downton Abbey - "what is this 'weekend' you speak of?!"

Only in reverse. No weekends for you!

I hope you get to enjoy this one.

precaryous · Jan 27, 2017, 01:51 PM

Hi Terry,

I don't take lamactil but I wanted to welcome you to the Couch!

Ellahmae · Jan 27, 2017, 02:04 PM

I'm on lamictal and my pdoc said if I get anything resembling a rash to call her immediately.... I haven't had one or near anything close to a rash and I am on a rather high dose.

Quote:

Originally Posted by biggrlsdntcry44

Hi I'm more here. My name is Terry. I have a question. Has anyone here had an experience with lamactil rash? I'm not even sure that's what I have but I've looked at a few pics on the internet and I'm a bit worried. I don't know if I should call my pdoc, my gp, or my dermatologist. Smug suggestions?

LonesomeTonight · Jan 27, 2017, 02:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by healed84

Interesting that if she has an official dx on ASD even from an outside therapist that the school has to do their own testing, to add that to her IEP. My son's dx were all made by a psychologist in my T's practice that he works with, with an official letter of diagnosis with recommendations for the classroom. So, when I was going to send him to public school (we ended up not going there) all they needed was that letter and they had an IEP meeting based on that and my recommendations. I hope it all works out for you and her!!

Thanks for sharing your experience and for the good wishes! I think we had the option to add the diagnosis to her file at school, but I believe the IEP would still have said developmental delay instead of autism.

She failed the ADOS when she was 2 (almost 3--I think?), but I feel like that wasn't a good test because they had her in this small room for 2 hours (did language testing at same time) and she just wanted out of there. Plus I think with her language delay, she didn't understand some of the questions. Near the end, she was so ready to get out of there that in the birthday party portion of the ADOS, she was hitting the doll in the face and saying, "Don't hit the baby." At that point, I was like, "preeeetttty sure she failed."

Her developmental pediatrician remained unsure for a couple years, saying might be language delay plus ADHD and/or anxiety. Saying we should let her language catch up then reevaluate her. But then maybe a year ago, she was like, "Well, ASD is probably the best explanation, so let's go with that." So part of why I want the school to do the testing is also to see what they come up with. This way, she's being tested by people she works with regularly, in 15-minute chunks as part of her regular day.

Based on how things went in the interview with the psychologist, which involved her asking questions from a book, then scoring her in various areas based on our responses, she seemed somewhat borderline (like it was usually the in-between option). But we didn't get all the way through the booklet in the 1:45 she had, so we have to go back in a week or two.

Is your son in a private school or home-schooled? How old is he? (feel free to PM, if you'd rather discuss there).

LonesomeTonight · Jan 27, 2017, 02:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by junkDNA

does anyone on the couch struggle with drug addiction

Not drugs, but pretty sure I'm at least borderline alcoholic at this point...

LonesomeTonight · Jan 27, 2017, 02:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by artemis-within

Yes atat, for me worrying=catastrophizing. Perhaps i need to figure out how to worry without the other component....?

Same here...T often comments on it. Unfortunately, no advice to offer you there, since I haven't figured out how to do just "normal worry" yet either.

LonesomeTonight · Jan 27, 2017, 02:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by biggrlsdntcry44

Hi I'm more here. My name is Terry. I have a question. Has anyone here had an experience with lamactil rash? I'm not even sure that's what I have but I've looked at a few pics on the internet and I'm a bit worried. I don't know if I should call my pdoc, my gp, or my dermatologist. Smug suggestions?

Call your p-doc, and if you don't hear back quickly, go to the ER, just to be safe. From what my p-doc told me when I was on Lamictal for a few months, the rash can get bad really quickly. I think she said especially if I noticed anything going on with my nose or mouth that seemed like rash, go to ER immediately. Hope you're OK!

Jan 27, 2017, 02:41 PM

Yep it's like my brain goes right on past normal worry without passing go or collecting $200 haha i know it's not funny but if we don't laugh we cry right?

ruh roh · Jan 27, 2017, 02:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Demunie

Maybe your T should get a punching bag

She got one for me to take home about a month ago.

Guess I should have left it there with her, and gotten another one for home.

CantExplain · Jan 27, 2017, 02:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ellahmae

T switched phones and was transferring texts when she realized there were 5,000 texts from me in 2 years.... and that the relationship needed to change because she was walking with me every single day (at her request might I add) and she couldn't do that anymore, she didn't realize how enmeshed it had become. What irratated me - that I have yet to bring up is she keeps focusing on the 5,000 texts from me.... I just transferred phones and I have a total of 11,000 in our conversation.... meaning sure 5,000 from me but 6,000 from her. So I'm not the 'problem'. I guess I just wish she would say that she sent me that many as well, not just how many I sent her. Does that make sense? Anyway, we are working through things.

It is really tough on the patient when the T realises she has been "too close" and unilaterally decides to pull back. That's what caused most of my ruptures with Madame T, I think.

CantExplain · Jan 27, 2017, 02:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight

Not drugs, but pretty sure I'm at least borderline alcoholic at this point...

Admitting it is the first step to recovery.

Jan 27, 2017, 03:09 PM

Son should be at his appt with new t right now. I hope it's going well.

LonesomeTonight · Jan 27, 2017, 03:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CantExplain

Admitting it is the first step to recovery.

Yeah, it's something I'm really going to start working on after I turn 40 next week... It's only gotten particularly bad in the past few months or so (well, plus a period in my mid-20s when I also got a DWI--then stopped entirely for a year due to probation). Over the past 5 years or so, I've gone through periods where I've been drinking more and then would go back to drinking fairly moderately. Then something would happen, and I'd start drinking more (coping mechanism/self-medicating). Doesn't help that H drinks a fair amount, too (and home brews).

I've been trying to watch lots of past episodes of Intervention to inspire myself. But then I end up being like, "Well, they were drinking 18 beers a day--I only have 3-6 per day! So I'm OK." Or, "Well, I'm not on heroin or meth, so..." So it could be that's backfiring...

Squirrel1983 · Jan 27, 2017, 03:46 PM

Hi, couch.

Well, W-2's for my school job arrived on site today, so I picked mine up. I got my tuition tax form yesterday and my dividend tax from from my stocks yesterday. Now just to wait for my 1099 from C's dad, my W-2 from CVS, and my interest earned on my savings account statement from my bank. I want to file my taxes.

Well, it is almost the end of the day, so I better get ready to go. It will be so strange not being on the bus, but it's a good thing. I can eat more than a few crackers before CVS tonight.