 |
| FAQ/Help |
| Calendar |
| Search |
 |
|
Forums Index
|
| Closed Thread |
| Thread Tools | Display Modes |
|
|
Forums Index
|
| Closed Thread |
| Thread Tools | Display Modes |
|
#101
Apr 12, 2018, 06:02 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
I was having dark thoughts about whether H is sick of me and wanted me to leave. I can't help it, at times my emotions rule. However, I now know that my fear is totally unfounded, but I'm not in the emotional ego state.
I am trying to keep in mind that my issue is me, my negative triggered emotions, and intellectually I believe it even more now that I am seeing it with H. I KNOW that my fear isn't true. I'm not triggered right now, not experiencing that ego state, so I totally believe that my issue is me. However, I realize that I will, yet again, revisit that ego state and I will again have difficulty fathoming that the negative thing I am feeling isn't true. But I guess all of this is going in the right direction. |
 AllHeart, Elio, LonesomeTonight, lucozader, mostlylurking, WarmFuzzySocks
|
|
#102
Apr 12, 2018, 07:23 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Dear FM,
Thanks for responding. I wrote what I felt (and still do) at the time. It reminds me of the other place we discussed for years. AesB I will see you Saturday for the Musical. |
| Anastasia~, Elio
|
|
#103
Apr 12, 2018, 07:25 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
i hate you
i need you i hate that i need you f*** you don't leave come back don't go f*** you f*** you I hate you go away I don't need you I don't even want you I f***ing hate you go away |
| Anonymous54545, atisketatasket, chihirochild, Chummy2, Elio, fille_folle, Lemoncake, LonesomeTonight, lucozader, mostlylurking
|
|
#104
Apr 12, 2018, 07:39 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
I can't sleep because I love you too much.
It's annoying. I really need to sleep. Sigh. |
| AllHeart, Anastasia~, captgut, ChickenNoodleSoup, ElectricManatee, Elio, LonesomeTonight, mostlylurking, toomanycats
|
 junkDNA
|
|
#107
Apr 12, 2018, 09:52 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Dear Dr. S,
Nope not nearly enough. I know do the best I can at any/every moment. My best is not looking very good right now. Why did I have to talk about what I talked about? It wasn't what I wanted, ughh. Miss you already. me |
| AllHeart, Anonymous43207, atisketatasket, ChickenNoodleSoup, LonesomeTonight, lucozader, mostlylurking
|
|
#108
Apr 12, 2018, 09:59 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Oh t. That was a difficult at times but overall good session. Thank you. I'm not promising anything for the future, but I am glad I came today.
|
| Elio, LonesomeTonight, lucozader, mostlylurking
|
|
#109
Apr 12, 2018, 10:31 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
That big, deep, gaping hole in my core... the one that leaves me gasping to breathe... it's back (not that it ever really goes away, I guess).
I want to call you, but if you answered the phone I don't know what I would say. I don't know what I want from you, what you (or anyone) could do. I got the impression in our last session that you don't want me to call when I feel like this, lest I become "too dependent" on you. I understand. If there's one thing life has taught me it is don't depend on anyone, ever. So don't worry, I won't call... but man, it's hard to breathe. |
| atisketatasket, Elio, fille_folle, LonesomeTonight, lucozader, mostlylurking
|
|
#110
Apr 12, 2018, 11:08 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
im so sorry im such a disapointment i stareted doaing drugsa gain pleaes ont hate me
__________________
stay afraid, but do it anyway. |
| atisketatasket, captgut, ChickenNoodleSoup, Elio, fille_folle, LonesomeTonight, lucozader, mostlylurking, NP_Complete, RaineD, WarmFuzzySocks
|
|
#112
Apr 12, 2018, 11:18 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
It's been a week since I've seen you. We've had email contact twice and I will email you again tomorrow as we arranged. Why isn't that enough? Why am I so f***ing pathetic? Please come home. Monday seems so far away.
|
| AllHeart, atisketatasket, Elio, Lemoncake, LonesomeTonight, lucozader, mostlylurking, WarmFuzzySocks
|
|
#114
Apr 13, 2018, 02:00 AM
|
|||
|
|||
|
I enjoyed our email exchange. You're very sweet and lovably able to roll your eyes at yourself. I appreciate you finding that out for me (twice!).
|
| Elio, LonesomeTonight
|
|
#115
Apr 13, 2018, 04:32 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Quote:
Thank you for reading my post and responding with the information, It was very helpful. I do enjoy reading others experiences and stats. It is comforting to know that it's more the norm for a therapist to cry and been found to be beneficial for client etc. It still kinda weirds me out though. I've worked in medical field where it's just not part of the culture to express feelings (ER mainly) no matter what you saw or dealt with. You just moved on to the next patient because that's the nature of Emergency medicine. So this is new to have a "professional" cry. I'm doing behavioral health now, so maybe it will prove to be different. Anyway. Thank you again for taking the time to answer my post and share the article/information. I will keep it in mind as I move forward. Have a good one. |
| chihirochild
|
| chihirochild, Elio, LonesomeTonight
|
|
#117
Apr 13, 2018, 06:50 AM
|
|||
|
|||
|
I don't know how anyone else is supposed to help me when I don't even know what I need. I feel increasingly like you're unsure what to do with me. I don't blame you, I don't know what to do with me either, and no one else in my life ever has. I don't know if I can do this anymore. I don't have the energy.
|
| Elio, LonesomeTonight, lucozader
|
|
#118
Apr 13, 2018, 06:59 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Dear T,
Do I talk about the one thing today? It gives a really good example of something with H, but...would require me to admit to something regarding you. So would I be testing you? Do I feel some need to do that now that I don't have MC anymore? Do I feel the need to rock the boat because things have been seemingly going quite well between us? Am I just scared? Should I admit that first? Or is this actually about wanting to talk about H and give a concrete example of something? Ugh, I don't know...maybe I'll just talk about part of the thing, see how you react? Or maybe I'll just talk about other stuff entirely today. Or talk about H without that. Or talk about my mother. Or just talk about my successes the past few days with drinking and exercise and how to keep that up without talking about the scarier stuff. I guess I'll just see how I feel when I get there. Maybe see what shirt and socks you're wearing, like that will be a sign or something. Love, LT |
| chihirochild, Echos Myron redux, Elio, Lemoncake, lucozader, NP_Complete, SalingerEsme, WarmFuzzySocks
|
| Lemoncake, SalingerEsme
|
|
#121
Apr 13, 2018, 09:15 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
I didn't take my med last night I mean u think I'm not taking them anyway mighT as well prove u right cuz we all know how you like to be RIGHT
__________________
|
| Anonymous43207, Elio, Lemoncake, LonesomeTonight, lucozader, SalingerEsme
|
|
#122
Apr 13, 2018, 09:26 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
I'm sorry for ruining things between us.The oldest part of me just wanted an excuse to get angry because I couldn't deal with you getting closer to me. I don't want anyone else I want you. I love you.
>90 hours till session. |
| Elio, LonesomeTonight, lucozader, SalingerEsme
|
|
#123
Apr 13, 2018, 10:42 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
I just want my life to be ok or mediocre like I've given up in a good or great life. Just okay will suffice for me. The past 31 years I've been here on they planet... In this existence. Has been long and painful. I just want to be okay
__________________
|
| Anonymous55499, Echos Myron redux, Elio, fille_folle, Lemoncake, LonesomeTonight, lucozader, mostlylurking, NP_Complete, SalingerEsme, unaluna, WarmFuzzySocks
|
|
#124
Apr 13, 2018, 11:01 AM
|
|||
|
|||
|
(((DNA)))
|
| Elio, SalingerEsme
|
|
#125
Apr 13, 2018, 11:07 AM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Sorry for leaving snot all over the chair.
|
| Elio, LonesomeTonight, lucozader, SalingerEsme
|
| Closed Thread |
This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
|
My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.
Linear Mode
