Trying no contact between sessions this week.

Day 1: I am trying not to contact my therapist this week between sessions and see how I handle everything on my own without his emotional support.

I feel like I just lost a major part of my ability to function.

Anyone else want to try this?

It's tough but you got this.

I've had to do this since May. My T no longer will respond to emails, so I don't bother sending and he ignores texts unless it's related to scheduling...which is rare for me. It truly sucked at first but I've gotten used to it, although it's tough on the days when life is really hard and I've got no one else, knowing I can't even reach out to him.

Anyway, wishing you the best with this for the week, good goal for yourself

I should join you in this quest. I wish you the best! I've been wanting to email mine for the past hour but fighting the urge.

absolutely not, lol. you are braver than i.


maybe instead of going cold turkey zero contact instead you try reducing days...like one day a week no contact...and then two days no contact...and build up slowly?

its going to be hard but you have us here to help you through. good luck!

why did your t stop responding to emails?

Why I feel I need to do this:

1. I feel like I am taking up his resources and he is not getting paid anything extra.
2. Like I am a burden.
3. I am way to attached to him and this is painful and I fear being abandoned and if I am not attached then if therapy ends for some reason it wont be a problem.
4. I feel I am to dependent on him to lift my mood.
5. I am using him for the emotional connection I need instead of getting it from someone in my own life.
6. Right now I can not vision my future life without him in it. I want to do anything I can to keep him in my life.
I am not a professional but I just do not think all the above is healthy and shows some kind of disfunction in my part.

It is very difficult. T had mentioned cutting back after a miscommunication which I did. It was really hard. But I made it work.

I think for me it is better off I make that decision then him deciding it. I would be hurt and devastated if he cut me off.

Yeah that would be really hard. T never cut me off and made sure that I knew that. She just mentioned cutting back.

I messed up months ago. He randomly changed boundaries as punishment... this was one of them. He says I can still email but he wont reply. So I don't see the point. We just talk in person now.

I don't have contact with Tony the Tiger T between sessions, but my former T said I could still email her now and again. I'm making myself wait a month from our last phone session though before I email her because I don't want to take advantage of her and because I'm still too torn up over losing her.

I know I can do it , but I do get homesick for my T. Especially over the weekends, I really count the hours between sessions. My T is so all-there during sessions, and he has taken me on a journey into the past and myself, little by little healing some major damage. I am not sure if his boundaries are mainly for him to conserve his energy and personal life or partly for clients to feel secure and somehow that time is organized/ highly structured and safe?

I told my T about a bad aftereffect involving a panic attack after EMDR last session. While he understands how painful these reactions are, he always encourages me to experience and sit with the painful emotions. He says that is the only way I will get stronger and the more I allow myself to feel them the less painful they will be in the future.

That said, he never just leaves me hanging. He will always suggests ways to ground myself during future hard times. It is so hard but I understand. I have never reached out to him for support between sessions and I doubt I ever will. I will not allow myself to be dependent on anyone. It still doesn't make it any easier though.

Good for you Moxie for setting those personal boundaries. It will take practice but you will get stronger.

Is this day over with......I am over at "The Haven" to distract me. I have one more client at 6:60-7:30 then home to watch TV, then bed around 9-930.

I feel very low and I have not been productive today at all.

Sounds like time to do some self care strategies. What are some pleasant ways to wind up the day? Favorite dinner? Relaxing bath? Soothing music?
Taking your mind off what you can't do (contact T) and turning your thoughts to what you can do will help.

I am in chat rooms, I cooked dinner, now a waiting to leave to drive to a client by 6:30.

So this is day 2.

I feel very lonely, I feel life is just not worth it just like I felt when I started therapy so nothing has changed. What does that say? What is that telling me? Would therapy work if a robot delivered the therapy modality? If it has some kind of algorithm to respond based on words it hears and if it was programed with CBT or another style?

End of Day 2:

Easier than I thought. I was more focused and best adult self. No child parts whining that they want attention. Still did a lot of fantasizing about him but my depression was not heavy today.

Interesting.

I stopped emailing a couple weeks ago. It hasn't been hard not to email, but I do feel that sessions are more strained and difficult. And when stressful things happen during the week, I just shut down now. Maybe that's okay. I don't know. Just seeing how it goes.

Yeah that is what I was thinking might happen as well. That I lose that connection that keeps me talking, trusting and being honest. If I push him away between session I know a wall will go up in session. Well I will see what happens on Monday. I wonder if he will even ask about the change in my habit of emailing him or if we will not say anything at all?

It's hard to know if he will bring it up. Mine hasn't said anything. She did ask if I received an email she sent about an office building issue, and I said that I had. It didn't seem like something to reply to, so I was surprised she asked.

The morning of Day 3..............

So part of some exposure therapy. Background: I won't leave the house unless I have to for work and food. He wants me to go to this lake, that has a trail that follows it, and either just sit in the care and eat my favorite fruit (suppose to drill in pleasure or something) and then turn around and go home but if i feel up to it I can try walking on the path. I was going to try this today. He said he would never scold me if I do not do it but he is going to ask me every time I come in if I did it. The mess up thing here is I would do it because I want him to be proud of me not because I was doing it to become more independant or does the brain even care why?

That is a great reason to do it right now. Your brain doesnt care why you do it!

This seems therapist-speak for did notice and is curious, but won't bring it up until you do?

Sounds like you're doing great so far! Mine has commented a few times, "I was surprised that I didn't get an email from you" after a difficult session, so it's possible yours would say something. I've also brought it up myself, like, "I was going to email you, then I ended up [doing some other coping mechanism, like talking to a friend, posting on here, journaling, listening to music, etc.]" And he's seemed proud of me for that. Going off your other comment, I also want my T to be proud of me, and think about that sometimes when I'm exercising, like taking a walk. I think it's fine if he's your motivation for doing things right now--whatever it takes, really. And then hopefully it will become habit and/or you'll start doing that for you.

I went and did the walk around the lake he asked me to do. Usually I would have emailed him about it but nope I will just wait until I see him and he asks me.