Couch 179: Even-numbered days in a year

I doubt it's anywhere near that high, and just by being *aware* that you bring problems on yourself (because we all do) you've taken a huge step. I know some people who have never had that realization (2ex and other narcissists of my acquaintance)--instead they create narratives about how they are fine and everyone else is the problem.

I totally get this. My D is also on the spectrum, and some people in a Facebook group I'm in talk about homeschooling, but I can't imagine doing that. I don't even understand how to do Common Core math! (I guess maybe you don't deal with that in the UK...). And trying to teach her in the house...it's difficult enough to get her to do a bit of homework. If I had to do a full day of lessons it just...wouldn't happen. So, school it is...

Years from now, historians will look back and realize that this was the moment pumpkin spice jumped the shark, if not before.

omg!

The pumpkin spice phenomenon is reaching across all species! I have ps kcups but can't put the yummy sugarful ps creamer in there to give the flavor some oomph. I had some this morning and kept thinking something was missing! Tomorrow I'm going to put some skinny syrup and see how it is. Or, I could learn to love coffee black. . .

Thanks atat. It's kinda funny isn't it how I've always so easily blamed myself for so much - that wasn't "my stuff" - yet have been so ignorant of what exactly IS my stuff that I couldn't take responsibility for it. I wonder how that happens?!

Info: Can I toss an idea at you, in full confidence that you’ll bat it away?
ATAT: Sure, but I won’t just bat it away, I’ll hit a home run off if.

Later we argued about whether suffering was ultimately a gift. She said yes, I said no, because gifts shouldn’t have strings attached, and suffering is a pretty big string.

When youre "just" doing whats "right"...? This is my bugaboo. The more you declare it, the less "right" it is. Its kinda like the saying, "its the principle of the thing". Its very judgy. We shouldnt be judgy. Even tho its judgy to say that!

She should know better than to use a baseball analogy at you! Even your cats bat a thousand!

I thought i heard they had.

Which reminds me, I’m buying you dinner—won 3rd place in one of my fantasy leagues and got $185. Where do you want to go?

Ah.... I see.... But I'm still having a hard time accepting that I was thinking anything but that it was the right thing. You know??? I'm still very confused on some of this.

Because this makes me not a very nice person and I want to be a nice person.

W has decided that she's sick of spending all her energy fighting her anxiety and it is time for chemical support.

Some people are.

Your husband isn't a saint, but I think he's worth keeping.

I want Stopdog to be in command of the support boat.

I’ll be in that boat “but” I’ll remember not to perform that behaviour.....

It’s all fun and games until someone gets a cramp in the middle of the English Channel.

Can’t we think one thing while having an ulterior motive that even we may not be fully aware of?

Which I don’t think equals “not a very nice person,” just like manipulating =/= bad.

And if defining yourself as a nice person is dependent on others seeing you as nice, then isn’t it still the same behavior? Could you ever be sure you weren’t doing things to get others to see you as nice?

Like Piaf’s business card said from Hamlet,
“This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.”

Piaf’s true self turned out to be not very nice, but at least she didn’t hide it.

I think so, too.

Does this mean that there will be emergency Scotch?

I sure as hell hope so

And no therapists or Oreos.

I'm struggling mightily with the possibility of having motives that I am not aware of. Omg I must be a ****ing poster child for codependency. Shouldn't I get a t-shirt for that? Ha. My task first and foremost is to not sink into a well of self-hatred for it and instead feel good about myself for finally being willing to see it and work on changing it. Seriously though. I put so much effort and energy for so long into denying my sexuality, and now that I'm not hiding that anymore, I've freed up a lot of emotional resources to accept and work on this other ginormous thing. But it sucks. Hmm. Yes, this: that hating myself for unknown reasons like I used to - that was a whole lot easier than trying not to hate myself for what seems a logical reason.

I don't think I explained any of that very well.

Let us hope so!!