Couch 204: The Refactorable Couch

Weird, wonderful, it's all the same right?

Thank you. I'm a much better student now than I was 30 years ago. haha! Somehow, learning was just not as fun when I was a young'n.

sending safe and gentle hugs. hope your work day is almost through or through by now.

Home from Info. Fashion report: white capris with turned up cuffs, a black bra with a lot of complicated triple and quadruple straps on display, an earth-colored flowy top with lots of cleavage and off one shoulder, St. Brigid’s Cross earrings.

Unbelieble that was the topic of conversation on my local radio station yesterday morning. Truly

I feel like I talked about the most stupid things to T today. A conversation I had with my cousin this morning, playing with my kids, and a little about the pdoc appointment last week again and the SH on my wrist. He hasn't seen it and has never asked to see my SH, but I still have it wrapped so no one else sees. Talked briefly about me wanting more but not feeling like I'm important enough to have more. Talked about the schedule change and him cutting yesterday's session by 5 minutes.
I want to be able to tell him about my SI and SH thoughts lately but I worry about how he'd respond. I feel like I'm doing something wrong by telling pdoc the thoughts but not him even though the pdoc specifically asked about what I've thought about.

I look forward to the Info fashion reports.

Omg i hate selling on fb i amselling for $50 this guys texts me and straight says "i will take it for $30 " i feel this is rude and ignore him so far he has said "oki will take it when can i pick it up" "i will take it for $50 if its in good condition" and finally "its for my little one" this thing isnt suitable for kids its quite old and needs some restoration. How come the more you ignore someone the more insistent they get

Block him

Info is a role model for women everywhere - let your inner Info out. Dress how you want and critics be damned. Women's bodies are not there for other people.
(On a soapbox after reading one more internet story about girl clothing shaming)

(I am not saying that is what anyone is trying to do to Info.
My person had one oncologist who we looked forward to seeing because she always had a different pair of sparkly shoes on - seriously we never saw the same pair twice and it looked like someone had gone bonkers with a bedazzler thingy - it cheered my person up every time -perhaps that is why she wore them. It was unique)

He has acknowledged where we got wires crossed on somethings. So, he said he has changed the way he was doing therapy with me because he thought we were moving towards terminating. I took a break from therapy this summer, but I don’t remember telling him that I was moving in that direction. So, that scares me a little. But that is a huge thing to get messed up on.

Also, he did admitted that the approach he has taken with me in like the last 6-9 months have been that of challenging me more. And maybe he needs to balance that with some
More empathy or compassion.

I just feel like there was this wall that went up this past spring, when we had a huge rupture and I am not sure I will be able to take it down. Like there is a huge amount of distrust and misunderstanding and I am not sure it can be fixed.

I live in a weird neighbourhood. From my ninja weeding neighbours to someone down the street who knocked on my door to tell me what a magnificent beast my black fluffy cat is.

I did that this morning i was just interested in how far he would go.

Less than an hour left of work. I'm getting nervous about my PDOC appointment. I need to go in there and tell him how I feel like I'm falling apart. I'm struggling with SUI, I'm struggling to understand why I take this medication and feel this bad. I'm afraid of getting tongue tied. Argh.

Was it the story about the teen female swimmer in Alaska? That was pretty disturbing.

Possible to write it down and hand it to him? "I'm really struggling, and scared. There's more, but I don't think I can say it out loud."

I don't want to write the paper that I'm currently working on. It's not even difficult and I'm almost done since there's a max word count of 1000 words. And it's not due until Thursday at midnight. I'm just over it because I can't focus.

2nd day of new job in the bag.

I just got to my pdoc's office and found out he will no longer be practicing here after 12/31/19 and the business is up for sale which affects my therapist as well. So I may not have a pdoc or a therapist after 12/31/19. I'm freaking out. I don't know where I'm going to find a new psychiatrist because it's rural where I live. This is bad news. I guess tomorrow I will start looking for someone else even if I have to travel. Not good. I'm disappointed, frustrated, upset, scared, etc.

Oh SK. I’m so sorry that is happening.

Hugs, SK, I'm so sorry about the business closing. I'd ask your T about it--maybe she will move someplace else where you can still see her?

Thing is, I bet Info places a high value on being stylish. She doesn't exactly sound like she's just doing her own thing and damn everybody else. If that were the case, she wouldn't have tried to get @@ to go shopping with her to do a makeover.

I'm here for her outfits all day long, but is the outrageousness of her outfits really likely to be an indicator of enlightenment? I'm very skeptical.

ETA: Although I guess her motivation isn't actually the point.

Did I tell you that something you have said here more than once, that you believe women have the right to take up space in the world or something along those lines, is partly what gave me the courage to take this Belly Dance class? It's SO much fun. So thank you for saying things like that and the above about women's bodies not being there for other people. It doesn't matter one whit to me that I'm larger than the other women in the class. I'm having FUN first and foremost, it's a real body-celebrating kind of movement regardless of the size of anyone's body, big, little, or somewhere in between.

Info is sui generis.

She got the closest ever to earning her fee today, too--we mostly discussed my problem student. I'm worried I'm overreacting because some of what he does triggers my feelings about my disability and also that I'm underreacting because I sympathize with him having a disability. And I don't want to be unfair. I actually was up from about 1-3 am last night thinking about this.

Did anyone see How I Met your Mother when Barney sings about loving suits? That is me and dresses. I love them. People usually comment about me bring "fancy" or dressed up but honestly it is the least amount of effort I can put in.

I have MS and between brain fog and fatigue it is exhausting to get dressed. Not to mention some fabrics hurt and I suck at buttons Bam put on a dress and good to go.

I used to be ashamed of my dress habit but now I'm happy. The older I get, the less I care

I work at home, and I wear dresses a lot, those ones that are more like long t-shirts that fall just above the knee. I love them because they are so comfortable.