Couch 221: Definitely Spam!

I feel like I am being needy, obsessive, and paranoid today. I asked a coworker if I was bothering her today prefacing it with the fact that I'm being needy, obsessive, and paranoid. She said I'm not being those things but I am funny. I don't know what to make of that. ????

What is plan B?

And can I copy it?

Ugh, I'm really sorry. And I'm guessing I know what Plan B is, but please don't take it. Can you potentially go on SSI disability or long-term with work? (Or were you on long-term?) Do you see your T tomorrow?

Hm, in my state (different from yours!) they made a special exception for COVID, and I'm hoping they'll just keep it even when COVID goes away. I mean, if nothing else, I figure it helps to decrease drinking and driving, and even better, helps the restaurants.

I was on short-term, which allows you 3 months. I took all that I could and if I took more I would have to switch to long-term. I feel like my therapist did not support that option. I see him again tomorrow.

I'm betting he thought he did something like that but didn't. I read that the bar owners have been up in arms about it because back when all this first started they couldn't be open to sell it but the restaurants could? I dunno.

P is going to call me in a bit to talk about the work situation.

I hope that is helpful. I am sorry you are in this situation.

ooh, h wants to go pick up dinner from texas roadhouse. yum.

We have one of those in the next town over. I haven't tried it yet but everyone says it is delicious!

So he only ended up reducing restaurant indoor capacity from 75% to 50%. Everything else was just strong recommendations, like "We advise against having gatherings (like parties, dinners) of more than 10 people" or "If you travel out of state, we advise you get tested when you return." He's basically leaving it up to the individual counties to enforce or potentially set stronger regulations. So will see if my county executive announces anything tomorrow (he tends to be a bit more careful with COVID, but not extreme, and our county's numbers are better than much of the state right now).

Wow. Cash. I havent carried cash very often for over 20 years. Now with covid they all want you paywave. I got out with minimal stuff. It was stuff i did need though. A few new pencils, an eraser and a cheap starter set of watercolour paints to see if i enjoy it enough to ontinue. I havent painted for a few months i should restart.

I like paying with Cash because it feels more tangible. I do some quick math in my head and say this $75 purchase cost me more than 3 hours of work. Would I work three hours to get this? If the answer is yes then I buy it, if no, then I put something back. If I am swiping my card, it doesn't feel like I am spending money.

I do used to do that measure with bread and milk when i was struggling with the ex not giving me money for the kids. But now there is basically just me and my mother said you cant take it with it you and if i have a little over after paying bills and groceries which is not often i will splurge. I usually think really hard before buying but this store is full of arty crafty stuff and if i am leaning towards mania i tend buy way too much clay or other stuff that i dont use much. Or worse expensive paints in colours i cant see and dont use.

Mightn’t it lead to drinking while driving? Which is illegal most places.

We had a person in our office test positive, HR called around 10 people today and sent them all home. I'm hoping that person gets well soon and everyone else tests negative. Also I'm hoping I don't get it! Mask usage has been increasingly iffy in our office, and people are probably getting lax about hand-washing and keeping their distance. I feel like I have to be constantly on guard because others aren't.

Hugs for couchies who need one. Enjoy your evening and stay safe.

it is! they have early specials during the week too.

Hugs, hope you didn't get it!

Oh, I just assumed people would take them home to drink? In my state, no open containers are allowed in cars (even for passenger drinking), so it's not something I've ever chanced. The cocktails sold by restaurants near me are in bottles or "crowlers" (cans that are bottled at the restaurant) vs., say, in a cup with a straw.

Things just exploded here at my house There's so much tension here because H and dad are opposite ends politically. I don't know why they even talk about this stuff. Everyday they fight.

Hugs, Scarlet. I'm so sorry you have to hear that every day. It must be so exhausting.

Today is 9 years I've been seeing L. I just got out my boxes of therapy/dream notebooks and found the very first one, begun on 11/10/11, and the only note for that day is "First session". I didn't write anything again until the morning of 11/12/11 when I recorded a dream for the very first time. On 11/22/11, I wrote in it an essay entitled "What crazy means to me". I'd completely forgotten about that. Strangely though, that first recorded dream, reading it, feels like I just had it last night!! I guess our dreams stay with us. I'll probably read this whole notebook tonight. Or maybe I'll wait and bring it with me to therapy tomorrow and go through it with L. That will be interesting.

Ha, as if I can wait til tomorrow afternoon.


Flipping through this first notebook I found a passage I wrote in January of 2012 that says "why can't I just dream a book falls out of the sky, I read it, and have all the answers in plain English"? If only.

Night couchies.