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Default Feb 28, 2024 at 05:07 PM
  #341
I kind of hope you switch to remote tommorow. Mainly because I'm lazy.

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Default Feb 28, 2024 at 05:45 PM
  #342
Dear T,

A couple things: I felt very validated today, regarding the H yelling stuff. So thank you for that. And not putting it on me as overreacting, as it felt ex-MC tended to do.

Also, I keep thinking of how you said you held that one male teen client's hand all session when his parent had passed away. I had wanted to ask you about a brief handshake in the middle (instead of just at the end) of the session two Sundays ago where I was having a panic attack. It would have been an obvious opening today, when you mentioned that, to ask if you might have done that with me. Like 30 seconds, not the whole session. But it might have been especially painful if you'd said no.

I suppose I could ask if you'd ever be willing to do a pre-session (if I'm feeling really anxious/we'd had a conflict--I've wondered this before) or mid-session handshake, with the expectation that you'd say no. And thinking if you'd say "yes" or "maybe," that would be a positive? Though if it's a "no" (or "probably not"), maybe we could talk about other options for nonverbal grounding, connection, etc. Like what someone on Quora described with client and therapist each squeezing their own hands on their respective laps from across the room, with no actual touching. Or, I don't know, if you could hold some stone in your hand, then set it on the ottoman for me to pick up and hold. So it's like a connection, but no actual touch. I'll think about whether it's worth asking.

Love,
LT
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Default Yesterday at 08:14 AM
  #343
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mountaindewed View Post
I kind of hope you switch to remote tommorow. Mainly because I'm lazy.
Thank you.

My mom isnt too happy. She says you switch too much.

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Default Yesterday at 08:17 AM
  #344
Hi R,

I've never been in the practice of telling you what I think you want to hear, so I don't know why this has come up now...but when we began talking about me forgiving Steve, as I reflected on that afterwards...

If that is a goal, then it's not now, not yet.

I still don't recognise the landscape of my life or my inner world these days.

Being able to cry or express emotion in other ways is movement to me.

We know that I struggle with anger, because anger is violence in my mind.

I found myself thinking on Tuesday...Faith is less about what happens afterwards than what helps sustain me now. I'm not even sure what that looks like in the aftermath of this.

I keep looking for resources, but nobody else is having my experience, so that doesn't really work.

I hope you return from your break refreshed so that we can explore this new facet of the work together.

Take care,

Lost

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'You have all the grace you need for today, and today is all that matters.' - Steve Austin
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Default Yesterday at 07:10 PM
  #345
tomorrow will be 2 weeks since we last met. why am i even counting?!
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Default Yesterday at 09:28 PM
  #346
You did look like crap today so I knew you really were sick. But it was a good session anyways.

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Default Today at 12:17 PM
  #347
The person above me had a slow water leak. The original water stain was always there, but it was tiny. it grew bigger overnight. I now also have pink mould growing on my celling and wall.



My landlord already came out this morning to see it after I messaged him. He said he fixed the issue above, and it needs to dry out first.

I laughed at how minor this was given what's going on in the world.

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Last edited by Lemoncake; Today at 12:55 PM..
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Default Today at 12:22 PM
  #348
Quote:
Originally Posted by ArtieTheSequal View Post
tomorrow will be 2 weeks since we last met. why am i even counting?!
It's natural for humans to mark the passage of time. Counting the days could also be a reflection of the significance of your relationship with t, even if you're not consciously aware of it. Counting also keeps you connected even though the relationship is over.

You stop counting, when you stop counting.

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Default Today at 07:32 PM
  #349
Dear T,

I understand your wanting to think about it. But after session, I realized: If you think about it, considering my fairly detailed explanation of what exactly I meant, and *then* say it's not OK, I think that would actually feel worse than if you'd just said "no" outright. Because then, I could think, "Maybe you misunderstood what I'm asking." And maybe you still could be.

But if I come in Monday, and you're like, "Yeah, I thought about it, and I wouldn't be comfortable with that, even if it's very occasionally," I know I would struggle with that. Unless you could give a really clear explanation and would offer up alternatives. Or be open to what I suggest, as I didn't fully explain them today.

And seriously, you should have known better than to give the "I love you" hanging out there example for the one thing I was talking about... Though maybe it possibly helped you understand how awkward that was for me, back when that happened? If you somehow hadn't comprehended that already, from our various discussions about it?

Love,
LT
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