How can I stop this fight?

I don't know where to start, my boyfriend and I have been dating for 2 years. It's been wonderful with normal arguments here and there but very rarely and hardly ever real fights. Until recently. It seems we may be falling apart. A few weeks back I had a siezure, followed by 2 more smaller ones. I'd never had them before that I know of. It sent me slightly into depression since it's changed my life a lot now. I can't do anything I want, can't drive... But I'm really trying to look at things more positively and feel like I've been doing a good job. But I don't know if this is the cause for the fight. He's mentioned it saying "It's not my fault you can't do anything" when it wasn't what we were discussing.
But he says that he's upset because he can't play drums anymore. He says that he feels like I will get mad at him if he goes to play drums (I have before but not always gotten mad, it depends on if we have plans and he cancels them or if I'm having a bad day and just want to spend time with him). He says I'm stopping him from living his life the way he wants to live his life because he doesn't have time for the drums anymore. I have a 3 year old daughter I can't be at all of his band practices and when I would rather him stay home with me since he works till 6 every night and we moved in with his Grandmother (HIS choice) I would much rather not spend the entire day and night by myself every night of the week. He's also in night school so he hopes and plans to go to night school and the nights he's not in school go to band practice. Where does that leave me? Should I just accept it and not care that he is gone so much more than he is home? And it's his grandmothers home we moved into because he wanted to. That's the reason he's not playing drums. She doesn't want them at the house. I've been more than supportive with his drums. I've been at every gig I could possibly go to screaming and cheering. I've listened for hours daily as he practiced in our living room. He even started teaching me the drums. But now he's blaming me for not playing. No matter how much I try and show him it's not all my fault, he doesn't get it. Maybe it is my fault? I will admit I am clingy and want to be with him. I don't like when he leaves but I don't always get upset and when I do get upset often I get over it pretty quickly.
Then out of no where he starts talking about how I don't get him. I don't understand his attachment to dogs and why he loves his job so much. He says I'm afraid of dogs and don't understand him. That was my breaking point. I love dogs. I am afraid of dogs that I don't know and dogs that are not on a leash without their owners make me nervous but I am far from someone who dislikes dogs. We have a dog at his Grandmas that I take on walks multiple times a day. I mean come on. That's when it became clear that he is looking for reasons to be angry with me. Reasons to be upset with me but why?
A few weeks back, after the first siezure he and I decided we were going to get married. He said he wanted to wait until he finished school and we were on our own again doing better and I agreed. Sounded smart, exciting, reasonable and a good idea. It seems since then, or since the siezures I can't tell... Something has changed and he's becoming more and more upset with me and looking for reasons for it. He apologized many times last night, but with each apology he would say "I'm sorry but..." He was sorry for the argument but it was clear we are not seeing eye to eye on this. I don't know what to do. Don't know how to stop the fighting, how to stop his anger toward me. He blames me for something I don't think is my fault. What do I do? Please help someone, I'm lost and worried!!!!!

I'm just guessing right now, and I could be way off base, but I kind of wonder if it has something to do with the seizures? Maybe he's scared or depressed that he couldn't help you? One of my best friends had random seizures like that before we met. She has told me that she actually lost a lot of friends because of it. I personally don't understand why.

Do you have a T that you can discuss these things with? I'm really not sure how to stop the fighting, either. Maybe you need to try to sit down with him and talk the whole thing out, though it sounds like you already tried that and it didn't get very far... Maybe try writing him a letter and ask him to also respond in writing?

I'm sorry I don't have any better ideas. I really hope you can get to the bottom of this. Good luck!

Thank you Roman Sunburn, I have a feeling you are right as well about it being a siezure issue. I know it is causing me to be depressed and I didn't even see the seizure. He was there for all 3 and it scared the heck out of him. Coming back from the first one he was in tears (full blown) over me yelling my name, it took him about 10 minutes after I woke up to fully stop crying and even after that for a couple of days it got to him. Every time he would look at me I could tell he was freaking out not knowing what to do. It's hard. I myself don't know what to do. I haven't even found out why I had them, the doctors wont see me since I don't have insurance so he and I are both lost as to what to do about it. We just sit and wait and hope it doesn't happen again.

I understand his concern, I just wish it wasn't this way. Things are difficult enough having to stress about these seizures, well having to try not to stress about them actually. But I've lost my license for 3 years, I don't go anywhere any more, I'm afraid to be alone now, I'm even afraid to shower. It seems to be changing my life and it's so hard, I'm sure it's hard for him. So I just don't know what to do. If it's hard enough on him for him to be angry with me, I don't know what to do about it. I can't stop them, I'm suffering from them just as much as he is suffering watching me go through them.

I've tried to write him a letter before during a disagreement hoping he would see my side from the letter. It was a big mistake. We write eachother love letters all the time. He will come up to my work just to drop off a little letter he wrote for me with really nice things in it and I do the same. I am always writing love letters and I guess the day I gave him the letter about our argument, even though I tried my hardest to be as nice as possible about it, he was thrown because he expected it to be a love letter and it made things worse. I have thought about writing it out numerous times. I just don't want to make him more angry. I do want to talk to him about it, I don't want this to cause us to leave eachother....

One thing that I left out in relation to the seizures... The first night, the night he cried... I had a grand mal seizure. I came to with everyone standing over me checking my pulse thinking I had died. About an hour before hand I did something completely idiotic. I figured, having schizophrenia I could handle it and having Multiple Personality Disorder, I thought it would help me to uncover some of my memories I had lost from my past, as I have read it does... (It being psychadelic mushrooms)... I didn't even eat the full chocolate (it was inside of a reeses cup chocolate) I only ate about 3/4 of it and everyone else ate 1-4. Well I didn't want to do it. I had an anxiety attack when I put it in my mouth to eat it and immediately spit it out. I must admit as well, although I wont tell him this, that the reason I ended up taking it after the anxiety attack was because I was worried about everyone else. They had all taken it and were trying to convince me to. I still was going to say no but I could tell my boyfriend wanted me to experience it with him, he had done it many times before and up until that day I had wanted to try them. I knew he wanted me to try it with him and could tell it was effecting his mood that I wasn't so I sucked it up and ate the mushroom. He keeps saying, and has since that night that it was his fault. He feels like he pressured me. It's my fault, I decided to do it knowing I was afraid. I did it for him but I did it. He didn't force me. I've never told him it was his fault and continue to tell him that I did it on my own, it's not his fault at all. But I think he can tell he's the reason I ate it.

The emergency room doctor as well as the neurologist said that it most likely was not due to the mushrooms. But still they refused to give me an MRI to find out why, if not the mushrooms, it happened. Needless to say, if they caused them or not, I will never experiment with those or anything like those again.

Maybe it's his guilt over that night that is getting to him? So why get mad at me? I guess I can see how subconsciously he could get mad at me, maybe he thinks I'm not being strong enough? He's said that before "You have to be stronger, you have to fight it". He doesn't get that I fight it a lot, and as much as I can but sometimes I can't stop it. Sometimes I can so who knows what it is. I wish a doctor would talk to me.

I told him during the argument last night, after he accused me of not letting him live his drum life, that I felt like he was blaming me for not playing drums because he was mad at me and it wasn't my fault but he was still blaming me. He thought about it for a minute and admitted he didn't see it that way before but it was true... How can I fight a battle when I've done nothing wrong and it seems that I can't win when I'm being attacked for things I haven't even done.

PurpleFlyingMonkeys

It does sound as though there is a link between your seizures and your boyfriend's downward spiral.

Unfortunately, you haven't met with a professional yet, who could discuss your diagnosis, treatment, and prognosis with you two. That would probably relieve a lot of the stress that you find yourselves battling right now. People often require some time to get control over the seizures. But it sure would help you both to understand your particular situation.

Then, it would be something tangible. Rather than a big fuzzy danger. It is scary ~ and it is stressful. Those are facts. Of course, different people deal with their stress differently. It sounds like he wants you. Like you're a stress reliever for him (normally). But, right now, feels ambiguous to him. He's worried about you, and it stresses him out. And those normal stress relievers aren't working like they used to, because this situation is so different.

The more I talk about it, the more I think that's what the problem is. How much longer before you see that neuro? I don't remember. Is there any way that you can get that date pushed up?? Perhaps you could explain to the receptionist that you're very anxious to find some answers and really need to see the neuro asap. Hopefully, they'll find a quicker time that works for you.

Try to get your boyfriend to come with to the appointment with you. That way, he's getting all of the information first-hand, just like you, and is then able to ask whatever Q's are on his mind. I think that would be the best advice I could give.

I'll keep my fingers crossed for you. This really is a difficult time in E. Hopefully, finding the right treatment will be much easier!

I'm not sure if he's really mad at you, per se... I mean, I feel like he might just be, well, mad. Mad, scared, depressed... And these are coming out in the only way it feels safe -- taking it out on the person he's closest to. It's not really helpful, but he's probably really frustrated and angry with himself if he's blaming himself, and is just lashing out in general.

I'm sorry you can't get more help for your seizures. I guess the ER filled their legal obligation and gave you the basic, necessary care that you needed, but without insurance they can't do anything beyond that.

My friend never found out why she had her seizures either. The doctors couldn't find anything wrong. But she says even today she sometimes still worries about having another.

What would happen if you asked him if you could write him a letter about what's been happening? That way he has full knowledge of it and can expect it. You could also write him a love letter to give to him at the same time.

Sorry I can't be more help. Stay safe and take care

Thank you Shezbut. Your response sounded pretty on point. I had a feeling that the seizures could be what is causing this, it all started the same week as the seizures and has gotten progressively worse since. I got a referral from the ER the night I went in to see a neurologist. The nuerologist saw me, charged me to see him and then literally tells me he does not want to break the bank for an MRI since I don't have insurance. I tell him I will pay whatever I have to pay, make payments anything to get the tests but he doesn't want to. He told me to go back if I had another grand mal and I was on my way. The ER gave me 6 Ativan for stress and those are of course long gone. No one even told me what to look out for and what to do when it does happen, nothing at all. Only that "Yes you had a seizure" but that was the only information I got. Oh they did inform me at the ER that they had contacted the DMV to suspend my license for medical purposes for 3 years but that's about it.
So I made an appointment with the clinic that takes people without insurance. I made the appointment the beginning of August for August 16th (I think it was) they called me 2 days before the appointment and told me they had to reschedule for October 26th. I informed them of my situation and that I don't know what to do or where to go or anything at all, that I'm just stuck in a dark confusing hole, but they still can't see me until October 26th... I don't know what to do about that...

It makes sense that he would be upset and taking his anger out on me. Unfortunately... I guess I have to accept that. I love him and I don't want him hurting. I don't want to lose him and I can see how this whole situation is taking its toll on him. I guess instead of defending myself with him, trying to make him see that he should not be angry with me, I should just support him like I would want him to support me. I guess I haven't been very understanding. I guess I've been selfish worrying about myself the most, I must have put him on the back burner without realizing it.

Thank you again Roman! Your comments have been extremely helpful. The coments above have shown me that he probably is just taking his anger out on me because he knows I'm here. He knows how much I care for him and I'm not going to go anywhere and I'm not going to make him feel like it's his fault and I'm not going to take him down and make him feel worse. I don't want to do any of that. I just want this fight to be over. I want things back to the way they were before.

I had my daughter 3 years ago by my abusive ex husband. It was a miracle I got pregnant and will to this day tell anyone, yes it does only take one time to get pregnant. He and I had no sexual connection unless alcohol was involved and the day my daughter was conceived there was alcohol involved. Only one time (thankfully, and I have an incredible daughter to show for that cruddy night). I should have known, as they say with drugs, it only takes one time. It only took one time of trying mushrooms and it seems like it ruined what my life was. Not ruined my life, but ruined what I had and now I have to start over and learn to live all over again. All because of one mistake. It stinks.

I hope he and I can get through this. I'm going to ask him when he gets off work if he would mind if I wrote him a letter about it. I want us to be over this and back to normal. I'm going to think about what both of you said and try to figure out the best way to approach this and the best way to talk without argument about what is hurting us. Thank you so much for the responses. It is exactly what I needed and was looking for, understanding and an outside perspective so I can know what really is going on. Thank you so much again, both of you. I will write back in the morning hopefully with good news of our relationship. I'm praying. It's been so hard not knowing why he was upset, not knowing what to do... I have a natural reaction to fight to the teeth and when it doesn't seem to work I run. I've been fighting for over a week trying to get him to tell me, let me know why he's been do distant. It wasn't working and I was terrified but preparing myself to run. I was preparing for the worst thinking he would leave me any day, that he was done with me. I'm glad I didn't chose that, he's too important to me to give up on that easy. He's such a good man. I wish life didn't test us these ways...

PFM

I hope, I hope....

Last night was my boyfriends grandmothers birthday. I kept forgetting. Well once he got off work we went out to eat with his whole family. On the way to the restaurant he told me about a nightmare he had the night before. He only told me at that time that I had a seizure in the dream. I asked him basically if he was upset and stressed because of these seizures and he said yes. I admitted to the seizures causing me to be depressed and he said he knew. He says his mood was getting worse because he felt helpless. He couldn't stop the seizures and he couldn't make me happy no matter how hard he tried. I apologized. It was true...
I've known that the seizures made me depressed but I didn't realize it was that obvious. I try to hide my emotions but I'm not good at it I guess. I told him I would work on the depression and that I have been. I have been working on accepting this. We didn't have much time to talk since the restaurant was only up the road. We went in and ate dinner with his parents. Everything went well, he and I shared a meal and things seemed to be back to normal. We went home and things were great.
I asked him, once everyone else was asleep more about his dream. He told me that I was talking to him and then I just fall. His parents were in the dream and he started freaking out telling them "I don't know what to do" (his parents don't know about the seizures since they started the night we took mushrooms) He said he was crying and freaking out and when I came back from the seizure he couldn't calm down. He was still freaking out. So we talked about it a little more. Unfortunately talking about it seemed to trigger something since when I got up to walk black started bleeding in and I started to lose feeling in my body. I know this feeling by now, it's either get close to the floor and try to focus or let it take over and fall to the floor and wake up with people standing over me. I'm trying to get this figured out. It seems to work most of the time. I just have to sit or lay as soon as possible and try to keep focus. I hope it keeps working until I can see the doctor.
Well we are doing better now. I apologized for being so moody and letting this make me depressed and told him that I would work on this. He said he would work on snapping on me like he has been. We had a good night. Things so far seem to be back to normal. I hope so. I tried a different approach to it and worded everything just right and it seemed to work a little better.
Thank you for all of the advice, it really helped and now he and I are back on good terms! Thank you so much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am so happy to hear that you and he talked openly about the experience(s) and how they've affected you both. That is terrific news! Yaaayyyy!

Sorry that you had another scary event occur afterward. Your description sounds like low blood pressure. Like, you were sitting in a way that didn't allow free flow of the blood ~ so when you stood up, the blood flowed down & took longer to get back up into your brain. Getting up more slowly helps in preventing woozy events like these.
MedicineNet:
When blood pressure is not sufficient to deliver enough blood to the organs of the body, the organs do not work properly and can be temporarily or permanently damaged. For example, if insufficient blood flows to the brain, brain cells do not receive enough oxygen and nutrients, and a person can feel lightheaded, dizzy, or even faint.
Going from a sitting or lying position to a standing position often brings out symptoms of low blood pressure. This occurs because standing causes blood to "settle" in the veins of the lower body, and this can lower the blood pressure. If the blood pressure is already low, standing can make the low pressure worse, to the point of causing symptoms. The development of lightheadedness, dizziness, or fainting upon standing caused by low blood pressure is called orthostatic hypotension.

In times like you described, do you lose consciousness? What does your body do during these times? Are your eyes open throughout? How about your mouth ~ Saying anything or snapping your mouth shut? Does your entire body become rigid and then start shaking violently? Or, are only certain parts of your body shaking ~ which ones?

Epilepsy.com
A seizure is usually defined as a sudden alteration of behavior due to a temporary change in the electrical functioning of the brain, in particular the outside rim of the brain called the cortex. Below you will find some of the symptoms people with epilepsy may experience before, during and after a seizure. Seizures can take on many different forms and seizures affect different people in different ways. It is not implied that every person with seizures will experience every symptom described below.
Seizures have a beginning, middle, and end

When an individual is aware of the beginning, it may be thought of as a warning or aura. On the other hand, an individual may not be aware of the beginning and therefore have no warning.
Sometimes, the warning or aura is not followed by any other symptoms. It may be considered a simple partial seizure by the doctor.
The middle of the seizure may take several different forms. For people who have warnings, the aura may simply continue or it may turn into a complex partial seizure or a convulsion. For those who do not have a warning, the seizure may continue as a complex partial seizure or it may evolve into a convulsion.
The end to a seizure represents a transition from the seizure back to the individual’s normal state. This period is referred to as the “post-ictal period” (an ictus is a seizure) and signifies the recovery period for the brain. It may last from seconds to minutes to hours, depending on several factors including which part(s) of the brain were affected by the seizure and whether the individual was on anti-seizure medication. If a person has a complex partial seizure or a convulsion, their level of awareness gradually improves during the post-ictal period, much like a person waking up from anesthesia after an operation. There are other symptoms that occur during the post-ictal period and are detailed below.
Please note: Below is only a partial list, some people may experience other symptoms not listed below. These lists are meant to help patients communicate with their physicians.
Early seizure symptoms (warnings)

Sensory/Thought:

• Deja vu
• Jamais vu
• Smell
• Sound
• Taste
• Visual loss or blurring
• Racing thoughts
• Stomach feelings
• Strange feelings
• Tingling feeling

Emotional:

• Fear/Panic
• Pleasant feeling

Physical:

• Dizziness
• Headache
• Lightheadedness
• Nausea
• Numbness

No warning:

• Sometimes seizures come with no warning

Seizure symptoms

Sensory/Thought:

• Black out
• Confusion
• Deafness/Sounds
• Electric Shock Feeling
• Loss of consciousness
• Smell
• Spacing out
• Out of body experience
• Visual loss or blurring

Emotional:

• Fear/Panic

Physical:

• Chewing movements
• Convulsion
• Difficulty talking
• Drooling
• Eyelid fluttering
• Eyes rolling up
• Falling down
• Foot stomping
• Hand waving
• Inability to move
• Incontinence
• Lip smacking
• Making sounds
• Shaking
• Staring
• Stiffening
• Swallowing
• Sweating
• Teeth clenching/grinding
• Tongue biting
• Tremors
• Twitching movements
• Breathing difficulty
• Heart racing

After-seizure symptoms (post-ictal)

Thought:

• Memory loss
• Writing difficulty

Emotional:

• Confusion
• Depression and sadness
• Fear
• Frustration
• Shame/Embarrassment

Physical:

• Bruising
• Difficulty talking
• Injuries
• Sleeping
• Exhaustion
• Headache
• Nausea
• Pain
• Thirst
• Weakness
• Urge to urinate/defecate

If you or someone you know has the symptoms listed above -- you are not alone. Below are personal stories by people who have either experienced or witnessed seizure symptoms.

• Losing Control of Motor Functions
• A Prelude: A Wave of Nausea
• Seizures While Sleeping
• In a Fog
• Starts with a Stare
• A Dream-like State
• Losing Consciousness
• In a Flash
• A Different Expression
• Before a Seizure: The Buzzing Inside

Hope that you don't mind reading through the information above. It is a lot. But, it sure can help determine a better sense of what you're dealing with in the moment. Especially when you have a witness, who can tell you what occurred when you were unconscious or semi-conscious.

I'm so glad that things are getting back to normal!! His response is exactly what I was expecting him to say (exactly what my fiance would say if we were in the same position). I'm sure that now you two have been able to talk about this without all the negativity, things will definitely start getting back on track. Maybe he could go with you to your appointment in October (I'm so sorry they rescheduled it!! That's awful!!). Also, I'm sure you both have looked online about what to do in case another one happens; maybe going over that together would be helpful. I did find this page, though

http://www.epilepsy.org.uk/info/seizures/first-aid

I realize you probably don't have epilepsy, but it has first aid, and also talks about keeping a journal, which maybe be helpful for you when you do get to see a doctor.

There's also this one

http://epilepsy.about.com/od/managin...refirstaid.htm

But like I said, you've probably already one some research. I don't remember which, but one website I looked at said a change in diet can help control epilepsy in children and suggested an Atkins diet to help adults.

I'm so, so, so, sooo glad things are getting back to normal for you both. It sounds like you were both just scared, depressed, frustrated, a whole range of emotions that were getting in the way of communicating. But now that you're communicating again, you'll both be able to support the other again, and things will start evening out for you. I'm so happy for the way this is turning out!!

Thank you Shezbut! That is a lot of information. Yeah I did quite a bit of research when it all started but some of the things in there I didn't know. Especially about low blood pressure which I never looked up. I should have... I'm not sure if that's what is going on with me but it is something I should probably bring up with the doctor. Every time I go into the doctors office my blood pressure is on the low side. They aren't alarmed by how low it is but it's just lower than normal. Same with my mom. It was mentioned though by a previous doctor that I may have an issue with low blood pressure and suggested doing a test where I lay down in the bed and they take my blood pressure, I sit up and they take it then I stand and they take it again. I move a lot though so I never got the text done. Strange thing I just realized though, almost every test I have needed to take to find out why things are happening, something happens where I can't have the test done. Only test I have had was an MRI on my back. It showed "degenerative disc disease" as they called it. I've learned to tolerate the pain for the most part since I don't like taking medicine.
I used to get Kidney Infections, my first when I was only 7. I would get one every 5 weeks. Full blown horrible kidney infections. I finally got a chance to see a Urologist and had my first appointment with him and he says he wants to use a camera to look in the bladder and kidneys. 2 days before the appointment for that I found out I was pregnant and the doctor didn't think it was safe.
I get really bad chest pain sometimes. It feels like someone is wrapping their hand around my heart and squeezing it. Not all the time but it's bad. It only lasts a few minutes for the most part. Well I went to see the doc about that. They wanted to do an ultrasound on my heart and do a stress test. I left my crazy abusive ex a few days before and moved to the otherside of the country.
Now I need an MRI and was scheduled to get the referral for one and 2 days before the doctors call and postpone it until October. This kind of thing has happened more than just these. Gotta figure that out lol.
The first major time I lost consciousness in a medical way (I have always had blackouts and it seems each time something different happens) I was at work. It was my first day of work and only 30 minutes into my shift. I was standing next to the girl showing me how things worked and all of a sudden darkness started caving in. All I remember that I felt was my head really heavy and full of pressure and black. I woke up feeling like someone was pulling me back into my body and everyone was over me. At first they sounded like the teacher on Charlie Brown, the "Wa Wa Wa" noise. After a few seconds I could hear and everyone was asking if I was OK and if I had ever fainted before. I hadn't. I went and sat at the table and they gave me water. I sipped on it for a second while she was asking me about my (the girl training me) medical history. I was really confused and wasn't able to answer most questions. I quickly felt sick and started throwing up. Threw up the entire way home (I drove) and when I got home I was so tired I couldn't go to the hospital, I took a nap. I woke up and went to the hospital and called my work to find out the details. They said I just fell to the floor my eyes closed and I stopped breathing. It lasted nearly 3 minutes and I wasn't breathing.
The second instance was the mushroom instance. I was feeling fine. I went to the bathroom and stood in there a minute looking in the mirror. I walked down the long hallway and about 2 steps before I got to the living room the darkness started caving in. I turn the corner (not thinking much about the dark since it happens all the time but not like this, most of the time it doesn't take over it just tries to.) and flop onto the couch with my legs over my boyfriends. That's the last thing I remember. Everything was black and I saw a spinning wheel of colors. The spinning wheel eventually zipped into nothingness with a quite whoosh noise and it was black for a few moments. Then I woke up and everyone was standing over me checking my pulse and my boyfriend freaking out. The table that was one in front of me had been pushed into the middle of the living room and I was on the ground. I could hear better this time when I came back. I sat up on the couch while I told them I was OK and asked what happened. While they were telling me I started to get sick. Over and over and over. They told me that when I walked back into the living room they thought everything was fine. My boyfriend looked over at me and saw that my shirt was showing my stomach. He knows me pretty well and knows how insecure and self conscious I am over my stomach since I lost all of my weight and had a baby so he knew something was off and looked at me and asked if I was OK. When I didn't respond he said it again louder and everyone else started looking at me. He noticed I was shaking and my eyes (the lights were off just the TV was on, we were watching Freddie Got Fingered, a horrible movie for that night) were rolled into the back of my head. He apparently grabbed me to try and calm me down and the shaking got worse. After a few seconds my body tensed. My neck twisted into an S shape apparently and my arms went in front of me and my inner elbows pointing to everyone bending forward. That lasted for a few seconds and then my body went limp. He said he didn't try to force me to stay up so he let me fall to the floor but softened the fall pretty much. He said it looked like I wasn't breathing and they all thought that I had died then. He went for my pulse and I woke up. It lasted about a minute and a half.

A few days later and I get that dark feeling and the next thing I know I'm feeling all strange and confused and asking what happened and I know something happened. We were in the car both times, the first time my boyfriend was driving and didn't see anything. The second time we were parked and my eyes kept moving back and forth. Both of these only lasted a few seconds though. Thankfully.
I've also had another blackout where I went to the hospital but it's much different. Like they all are. It started while I was sitting watching TV, no drugs or anything like the doctors always ask. I hadn't even taken tylenol. I just lost consciousness but my body didn't. I was talking. Repeating that I was going to die. I couldn't breath apparently and was vomiting uncontrollably. I remember flashes from that night. I would come back for about 45 seconds before the black came back. I was so confused and not sure why I was at the hospital. I was crawling on the floor crying yelling how I was going to die and throwing up everywhere. I had felt just fine only moments before. Everything seems to be different. So many things seem to be wrong it's frustrating, I hope it's not all of these different things and it's just one thing that can be fixed causing all of these symptoms maybe? Thank you so much for you reply, it was as the rest of them have been, very informative. You've helped me yet again lol. I'll be sure to mention the low blood pressure to the doctor when I see him in October. Thanks for the reply again!!!! Thank you so much and sorry for rambling so much!!!!!

Thank you Roman for your response. Things seem to be right back to normal. I feel kind of bad though. He said to me last night while we were falling asleep "Thank you for being happy today". It was a lot my fault too, wish I woulda seen that sooner it probably coulda avoided this entire situation. Live and learn...

We both have talked about what to do if it happens. He's ready every time he things it's about to happen. It's like somehow he can feel what I feel because within a couple of seconds of feeling bad he's right there "Hey are you OK, what's wrong?" He picks up on it a lot faster than anyone else and pretty much every time. He said it's a look in my face most of the time and he starts feeling dizzy and can just tell. I try to hide it sometimes unless it's strong. I can kinda tell the difference, I hope. But he seems to know about the same time I know that it's about to happen and maybe his response snaps me back into it, I dunno yet. Thank you though for the links, after I respond I will read them.

I've heard that I need to go on a better diet and it's true. I live on Mtn Dew Bacon and cheeseburgers with fries. Not my choice on the food but I have been trying to add in more water and trying to eat more healthy but the boyfriend cooks and I can't complain lol. I've read less sugar and carbs, people on here have said that as well. But I love waking up at 2 am and being able to eat a couple bowls of ice cream before going back to bed lol. Yeah I have to fix my diet lol.
Thanks again for all of the advice and kind words. If I hadn't asked for advice and gotten this great advice, I may have ended up breaking it off because I thought he would. But now we are great and I'm so thankful. I can't be running away just because I'm worried I will get hurt... But I do it all the time, it's what I'm used to!

Thank again, thank you so much!!!!

have you seen a doc re the seizures? there's good meds out there to ward them off. my friends that are epileptic and no incidence recently are allowed to drive. meanwhile be careful around your daughter til it's under control. you don't want to seize when carrying her. watching tv can set off a seizure. while getting this under control it's best u don't watch. i'd turn my chair around so i could at least hear the show. it's the subtle flickers on tv that causes this truigger.
i've had seizures. the only ppl that get upset are the ones that no nothing about them so they're terrified. just tell your bf to lie with you so you won't bump into anything. he can time the seizures-docs want to know usually.
hope this helps and see a doc!

(((PFM)))

I wish that I could help you. An experienced doctor is going to be the only one that can find the answers that I'm so eager to help you find!

If you haven't already, do print out a copy (or two) of these discussions ~ it will come in handy when do you go in to see the neurologist. That way you're prepared to give complete explanations of the incidents.

My thoughts are with you, your daughter, and bf. Medical assistance may truly be worth looking into. I can't remember what state you're living in... but MA would pay for doctor visits, necessary tests, medications, etc. Go to your state website and click on MA. They will have information there, to help determine whether or not you are a possible beneficiary of receiving assistance.

Gentle hugs to you