Advice on what to do please

Well yes seeing a psychiatrist would be the best option but aslo an option that many of us cant afford or have the time or transportation means to have…

What im saying is there are ways to figure yourself out. You could be your own researcher. Go online, look through different diagnosis, get books from a library if you have one… Don't you see your only helpless if you chose to be and most of us chose not to do anything because we chose to be helpless even though well many of us are not. At least not completely. For many of us it's in the mind. Best wishes let me know how it goes! And remember take it one day and step at a time.

I just don't know how to live and what to do? I really don't feel like other people in important ways. I was never managed at all I think, maybe that is the reason. I am trying to understand it myself. All I know is, despite having trouble socialising in youth and clearly having deficiencies in skills even when I stayed at grandparents on "mother's" side I stayed on computer full whole days in the room, and nobody said anything. At the same time female parent over focuses on some negligible things. I know it's still strange though.
Also nobody cares or cared: if I will finish school, if I am employed, if I am getting along with friends. What I ate for lunch. If I ate. It's so many things and it's NOT normal. It's like I have been a boarder in the house of some cold stranger.
When I was spontaneous in youth, that was ignored, not encouraged.
Also I feel like nobody cares. I mean nobody calls me at all, not even in MONTHS. That is not normal.
People side with parents every time but hey, I never had parents.
Like I said, I was left at home every day until late evening since I started school. So I was left to myself all day. Nightmare. And oh, when parent came back it didn't exactly "make up" for it.
If you look at me now, I am very "static" but not my fault and not my personality. I just stay in one place. People have said I'm making up I was neglected because I speak eloquently but they don't see that I am missing basics of life. Unfortunately this part is not seen or cared about. Which is why I am getting these "why don't you just DO something" questions here.
And I'm angry because I was always responsible for everything but nobody said a word to me. It's incredible.

What were you hospitalized for? You said you don't have mental illness? What's your diagnosis? You keep saying you don't have anything. Jellyfish psychiatrist might be not good for talking but he will be able to properly diagnose you

I have news for you. I don't know what it's like where you are but where I am a diagnosis is helpful for maybe 40% of people. In my case it is completely useless since these issues I explained are never dealt with. And they can only be helped by being with PEOPLE.
I am very sick of this.

Jelly, I agree and understand diagnosis isn't always useful. It provides some insight though.

Being with people might be helpful but since you have difficulty being with people, it might be useful to find out why?

You keep asking what's wrong with you but it's very difficult to tell, we can only make guesses. Only people in real life can tell. I agree that diagnosis will not cure people.,But it could answer the question: what's wrong with you. Then you can start looking for strategies.

I am sorry you had crappy childhood. But at your age you will not find people to take care of you. It just isn't possible. But if you are having hard time functioning there is some help out there. Professional help. It's terrible that your therapist isn't saying anything about you staying in bed for two months. She or he needs to take it seriously!

It's important to recognize and deal with why you are the way you are IF you have access to a therapist who can help you with this.

But you don't seem to have help readily available. I'm not a pro anything. And my parents did a fair amount of damage to me, too. However, that doesn't define who I am. The things I mess up on or can't do, might be due to them, but does that matter now? Not to me it doesn't. That knowledge doesn't give me a reason or an excuse to work on myself , by myself, when I am able.

You seem to be pointing the finger at them for everything. But what does that accomplish?

I tend to call it like I see it and yes, your parents ****ed up. But you can't go back and change that. What you have to do is make decisions for yourself.

Life is a series of choices. Sometimes you pick one and it's the right one. Sometimes you pick one and it's that waaaaay suckyest one. But we pick ourselves up and try again, with our next choice.

You seem to know it's wrong to stay in bed all day. Now you know it's wrong, what can you do about that?
You seem to know it's unhealthy to be online all day. What can you do about that?
You seem to know that it would be better at your grandmothers. What will you do about that?

What can you do now, to improve your situation? Do you want to do it?

Well someone will have to take care. Sorry to call it how it is. I cannot live like this.

That part aside - an update.
I called my Dad weeks ago, he says every week he will come at my request but didn't. Now he promised he will be here today at 3 pm. He did not as much as contact me to tell me he can't make it. He is at a wedding (distant relative) which clearly took priority over me feeling unwell, like everything else. His phone isn't working but he could have borrowed it.
I rang grandma, his Mum, and she already answered with a "what is it?". Then she said she is a bit ill and she said goodbye in possibly a minute of talking. She does not even talk to me very long.
So I am needing serious advice. I have been in bed for more than two months, I don't see that changing very soon. "Dad" may come tomorrow or never, considering what's been going on, and he was supposed to help me. It's incredibly depressing. Staying just with grandma I wonder ... She can not help me get a job or even introduce me to anyone there. I don't want to just wait for nothing there ... The uncle she lives with is out of the house most of the day. I just don't know.
Dad could potentially be helpful but you see this? I will wait until tomorrow but then I should make a decision. To go to hers or stay? But I can't because I can't stay in bed anymore.
I can't believe what is going on.

Jelly, don't you see that that "someone" is you?

I don't think that grandma would be able to help with job either. She seems too fragile.

If you need a job, you can fill appilicatiin online or go to places and ask if they hire, or look for adverts online or newspapers. You might want to ask your therapist to help you fill out applications. Maybe she can give you ideas. Maybe you can start with part time job? Something simple. Also call your psychiatrist tomorrow and tell him that you have been in bed for two months. Just see what he says. No way he'd say "oh that's great".

You need to start advocating for yourself. There is no other way. You can't keep waiting for someone to come save you. That's just how it is.

I tried all those things but I still feel alone and like I need someone.
My need(s) have been pushed aside since childhood and I don't know that I can fulfill them myself. That is how it is. I get up and stop typing on my phone and I stare into empty room. Do not know what to do. Nobody cares about it. I need help... If I knew how to live differently I would already and I would not be looking for someone.
I was abroad for two years on my own so like I said, it would have happened.

Trust me I understand. I believe most people would feel awful staying home by themselves more than few days.

I'd honestly feel depressed if I never went anywhere. If you worked all day though you wouldn't be alone. You'd be too busy. Perhaps too tired.

I am very confused on what you mean by no one cares. How exactly you want them to care? To support you? Pay bills? Etc adults usually fend for themselves. Most adults don't live with others and no one supports them. When people are sick they see a doctor but they don't expect anyone to take care of them. Most people don't.

Do you live in the country where noMental health help is available? If you can't work, tell your doctor that you want to be on disability. If you legimitately unable to function see your doctor about it and get treatment

But trust me, waiting for others to fix your life will not work. You'll wait forever.

If you are willing to read my replies, I will keep you posted on how things go ... I don't know how happy I can be without my family being at least a bit sorted.

Families can be a pain. Unfortunately we can't change them. I gave up on trying to fix my family of origin. Save yourself, so to speak. Hopefully things improve for you. Yes do give us an update. Hang in there

UPDATE.
For those who read the before replies. Again "Dad" promised to come for the weekend. Well guess what? Surprise, he is not coming. (Only person I still have..) He says "I hope I come next weekend" but after two months talking and promises AND him knowing for half a year he should take a month off this summer to be with me, is this not enough time? If he was EVER coming, not when it f*ing suits him, then he would have come. Who really cares. I am left by myself.
So, now: - I can go to grandma's. Minuses: it's a neighbouring poor country. She is old and slightly ill and I'm not sure how happy she will be to see me. There is no one to hang out with me, practically no youth. There is no one to really introduce me to people. There is no one to help me find a job and this is a village, 40 min. away from city. I will have to see this monster again when he comes home (big minus. He obv. doesn't care if I am jobless, friendless, how bad I feel, and if I have food to eat tomorrow.) Will this really help me improve my situation and how am I going to live there without a job and connections for long-term? Nobody cares about that either.
- I can literally rot here in this room. I was hoping to continue my uni. education after September but I also thought by then I'd have the experience of being with family and getting some help. By end of summer, I will only have seen the psychiatrist twice as she is so booked. So I have to worry about education, too. If I go I will do something good for my future jobs but all considered, it could be bad. It lasts three years abroad. I need help now while I'm young. But if I go to grandma's, what happens if no one helps me and I end up begging for money as an older woman?
All options are absolutely horrible. I need your advice :'(

Are you enrolled in uni now? If yes then go to uni and get education. If not then try to enroll. You can never have too much education.

Id give up ideas to rely on your family. They clearly aren't the type. It's not going to happen.

It's terrible you can't see your psychiatrist more often

But I don't know if I can give up. Feel so down and not 100% sure how I will deal with my issues (including with people) at uni. alone. I am not sure that it is not better to go to grandma's.
You just pick the common sense answer but if you understood how I live I really don't know what you'd say ... just lying in bed most the time.

Well you gave up on your life and trying to change your family into something they aren't. Focus on your own life. You deserve better. I feel terrible that you are lying in bed. I'd demand medical help. Right meds, right treatment etc It is terrible you aren't getting proper help. Sad. But you still can't rely on Your family.

Well maybe go to grandma for a month? Then decide?

Thanks Divine. I am thinking about that.
Yes. I am appalled. What do you think would be the proper help? All the social services suggested was a work rehabilitation centre for people with mental health issues to "keep me busy" but that doesn't solve the issue when I'm home and it won't help, honestly.
Sometimes I think if even HE is not willing to pay any attention what will I do? I am very sorry, I don't think I can live like this. He has known about my troubles for years now and has done nothing. I think if I grew up in an orphanage I honestly think I might be better off. This doesn't resemble a life and I get ZERO attention. I just want to find help while I am young..

How can keeping busy not be helpful?

We can't choose who are family ...... But we can choose to make our own way in life as YOU HAVE to.

No one can just stand in one place there entire life.

You will get lots of attention at a job and friends you will make if you just depend on yourself not expecting others to fix your life.

I don't know where you live but there is help for you, you just have to reach out ... you, you,you . No one can do this but you.

Good luck

If you are busy all day, then you might not even be bothered with loneliness at home because you'd be too tired. I also don't understand how you can afford not to work. It's not optional for most people. Unless you are indepently wealthy

Did you come from culture where parents take care of their grown daughter until they get married? I really don't understand your expectation of your father. You are a grown woman.

People have given you advice and you ignore it. Stop sitting around waiting on your family and strangers to treat you like a child. Joining the military sounds like a good option for you, because they WILL tell you what to do with every minute of your day.

I love this idea!!!

The military is just what you need.

It doesn't matter what you say Nammu because I lived abroad on my own for three years and it has got worse. I see that it just doesn't look like I am up to it, not to mention I end up alone. I feel like I have no one. You clearly can't imagine the situation. I was trying a long time, had so many issues. I see how peers live and it all seems more normal. Don't know if I can trust myself after all that happened. I find it hard to stick at a job for more than two weeks even if I need money. Having such an awful relationship with parents does not help. It would help if he bothered to come and take some time for me FOR A FACT. I don't see how pushing someone outside with no attention ever given, many issues and not even a call will help them succeed. I tried and ended up badly. Being responsible for everything and having no support is for me a recipe for failure.
I was told I have mental health issues despite not having a delusion in my life or even being depressed. That's how low it got. Explain that? It seems I am not doing something right even if I attempt to live on my own.. It does not make any sense. It just feels like I was abandoned with no support and even purposefully set up to fail. You are incredibly ignorant. Whenever I try doing something on my own I get a suggestion I have mental health issues. F*** that.
I am thinking of going to grandma's but she loves her son far more than me. He does NOTHING for me and still accuses me of having problems directly related to that. He wouldn't think of giving me anything to help me succeed and I think he would watch it with glee that I am down. It's his chance to prove he is "better" than me. It is incredible. She always sides with him. His solution to any issues is to send me back to female parent who is a poison and neglectful.
I have to go somewhere, I can't do it on my own. I don't know where.

Check yourself into a hospital and demand psychiatric help. I Understand you have mental health concern and you do need help but you cannot demand your family takes care of you. It doesn't work this way.

We might appear ignorant to you because we dont know what exact issue you have. You'd need real doctor to diagnose you properly. We can't do it online