suspended from work until further notice

My niece is working in a head shop and has kept this job for a few months. We’re thrilled. She also quits or gets fired because she either calls in sick too much or she opens a foul mouth and fights with people.

Maybe look for jobs where acting out is ok. You can accept this is just who you are. So you said a bad word and are immature and silly to amuse yourself.

I hope you find your place to belong.

Part of the problem here is that you are saying you acted or pretended to function normally for 5 months, at which point suddenly the supervisor threatened a restraining order. Do you see the lack of logic in this? If you were acting normally that first 5 months why would someone suddenly talk about a restraining order? You were absolutely not behaving that first 5 months and then at that point started "acting out" which I'd rather say you started acting even worse.

My point being a lot of your wording in almost all of your posts still seem to play yourself as a victim, even if in some statements you act like you know this is on you, you're still playing the victim card over and over. you keep repeating the same statement that because of x event you started acting out but those events were due to bad behavior in the first place. It's a pattern.

You are not an innocent victim of unfair practices, but someone that on some level seems to want to change but at the same time there is something that keeps you from really accepting that you need to. You can't have it both ways. You can't still blame circumstances, your illness, your bosses, coworkers or anything else and also expect to change your behavior. One cannot serve two masters or put more plainly, be the victim where everything around you is to blame AND be responsible for your actions. The two ideas will fight, and you'll vacillate as you are doing here in this and every other thread you've posted.

Choose to accept you're responsible for your behavior and that the way others are treating you (employers) is a result of that, period.

My fast food supervisor threatened a restraining order against me long after I been canned. The reason was bc I went back in to see her. My current supervisor at retail is another person. I behaved myself at my current job before March. My current supervisor said I’ve improved and that I’m behaving professionally. After that, I unraveled.

Idk any place that tolerates acting out

The issue is you did it on the sales floor where customers might have heard. I also don't know any place that allows acting out unless you are self-employed. I hope you can find another job--and stay away from the other one.

Dive bars, head shops, small businesses where they don’t care if you are silly and cuss a little. They won’t call it “acting out”. They don’t give a damn as long as you do your job. And if you start the creepy stalking behavior they’ll tell you to knock it off or just fire you, maybe they’ll even get rough with you.

I think you are not being truthful with yourself as to your motives for the acting out and stalking. You have a mischievous nature and like to push people’s buttons. I’m sticking to my theory about negative attention.

My niece has BPD and ADHD. My sister is her enabler. She hasn’t had to grow up because my sister supports her. She hasn’t engaged in adult life yet at 29.

I'm just waiting to hear back the results. For now, I still have 7 shifts on my schedule.

But do you see? "the reason was because I went back to see her" Umm. She canned you because of your uninvited visits in the first place, so her threatening a restraining order, once again was due to your behavior and your ignoring their wishes.

Then you go on to blame your own behavior on that. First, accept that what you do is causing these consequences. You haven't accepted this idea or you wouldn't be using it as an excuse for further "acting out". You behave the way you do because you choose to and all the while blaming it on thngs outside yourself causing you to do such things. NO, you choose to behave the way you do. It might be hard at times when you're upset at things but the fact remains that it is a decision you have to make to behave in unacceptable ways or not.

What's the point in even trying to "act professionally" at any point when everything outside of yourself is supposedly causing you to behave badly? I mean if it's outside yourself and you have no control then can you really actually take responsibility for "acting professionally" or are you like a leaf in the wind being blown by the wind (your environment and events in life) every which way without being able to stop it? if that's the case then you can't because the only reason you were acting professionally was because there were no trying events at the time.

I'm not saying those things are true I'm emphasizing that these things are hard to handle yes but you (or anyone for that matter) do not have to allow it to control whether you can be professional or not.

The more you talk about it the more I get the feeling you knew and were very aware that you were pushing boundaries but you didn't care. What you did cared about and what made you mad was getting caught and having a RO against you. You were mad you no longer had the freedom to push yourself on her and make her like you. So you lashed out at everyone.

A lot of this I feel is “ attention seeking”

I agree with what others are saying. It sounds like you knew it was wrong and even calculated how far you could act out without getting caught. That is very different from someone who doesn’t understand that what they are doing is wrong. Why do you crave this negative attention? Why do you like pushing boundaries? What satisfaction do you get from making others uncomfortable or afraid? These are the kinds of questions you might want to explorein therapy in order to understand why you keep acting this way when you know better. It is also important to understand that you are not just “acting out”; it is not only affecting you. Your behavior is also harming others, like your fast food supervisor who is taking measures to protect herself from you. If you claim to care about these people, why are you choosing to hurt them?

When I was stalking fast food supervisor, I honestly didn't know it was stalking. I thought I was being friendly. What I'm doing at my current job, however, I knew it was wrong. I just didn't know how to deal with what happened at the fast food place, so I took it out on my current job. Like when I called my coworker mom and nurses and then posted about emotionally devolving on this forum. Or even outside work. I asked a Subway employee few times for a spoon and every time, she said she couldn't hear me. Then I yelled, "A spoon! GOd!"

Ruby, do you think your parents have let you down in some way?

In other words you are making them your victim which is exactly why they chose to stop allowing your behavior to be around them. You seem to hate when people who don't like your behavior set boundaries against you. They have a right to protect themselves against your behavior no matter what reason/excuse YOU GIVE for it. Just like your current supervisor has a right to protect the public you may interface with against your horrible language.

Looking back at some if your posts these are a few thinga you said about yourself during the fast food incident:
When asked whether your parents taught you appropriate behavior.....this was your response (& I might add that you are STILL acting like that NOW....it wasn't acceptable then & it sure isn't as an adult):
Just curious....& something for you to think about......do you REALLY think God approves of the language you use & the thoughts you express when speaking like this? What kind of representation are you putting forward for people to see & hear?

Let’s say you were reported to HR for a misconduct. They’re to decide whether to let you go or not. Since your job is barely over minimum wage (unskilled), it shouldn’t take more than a few days to reach a decision, right? Incident happened this past Saturday and now it’s Tuesday.

No they haven’t. I just don’t always listen.

HR deals with a lot more than your situation & normally HR in cases like this have a lawyer they retain to make sure they have legal grounds to fire someone for before they fire them. Lawers may not be available at a moments notice to review the case/situation. That is why they told you what they did.....they will let you know then they come to a decision...whenever that is.

I think when you truly start suffering consequences that are a direct result of your behavior you may wake up and start controlling yourself.

Until then, you should know that using foul language, even with coworkers, is a way you disrespect people. People are not using that kind of language to communicate with you, why would you do that to them?

RE: The Subway employee saying she couldn't hear you and you yelling at her - one day Ruby you are going to yell at the wrong person. The Subway person had to be professional, but if you yelled that way at someone who wasn't at work, you'd probably be getting yelled at back or worse.

Out of curiosity, what do your parents have to say about your suspension?

Acting out, extreme behavior like stalking to try and prevent abandonment, and instability make me think of BPD.

It seems like posters are frustrated because you recognize that your actions are inappropriate, but you consciously choose to carry them out anyways. It's kind of like the equivalent of pouring gas on yourself and then lighting yourself on fire, but then being upset that you got burned.

She did say that she was diagnosed with PD. Just don’t know which one. I thought the same thing. There is the light at the end of the tunnel IF the person takes it seriously and tries to learn some techniques to behave in a more appropriate manner rather than focusing on how the world did them wrong.

I understand it must be hard but what’s the other option but trying to improve.

I really think that ruby isn’t getting the right help.

I NEVER used profanity or done anything stupid on the sales floor before. Maybe I very occasionally did it in the back room. I never dared offend customers.

Also, I remember when I first returned to Sam's, I used to be very careful not to screw around even in the back room. My supervisor used to say I've improved from the first time around and that I'm acting professional. Then the fast food supervisor threatened a restraining order against me, at which point I felt that my world is ending. I felt like life has no point ever since.

I screwed around at other jobs, but definitely not to the extent that I ended up screwing around at Sam's. I sure as hell never did or said anything stupid on the salesfloor. I never before cried over every little things (e.g. spilling coffee) or called coworkers mom and nurses. The fact that I started to shows the extent of my mental breakdown.

I'm not blaming Sam's for me losing that job. I did something wrong and I got what I deserved. Sam's has nothing to do with that fast food supervisor hating me, so they shouldn't have to deal with my mental breakdown. Also, I've already been there 5 years 5 months.

NO, BUT your own behavior CAUSED the problem at the fast food place, NOT your supervisor.

Just so you understand also....just because someone is FORCED to set boundaries & stay away from you so as not to possibly enable your bad beharior any more doesn't mean they hate you it just means YOU FORCED them to take that action to PROTECT themselves from being a victim of your behavior.

Your supervisor was the victim NOT YOU.

You are still blaming your supervisor! She doesn't hate you, she took legal steps to stop you from harassment after you refused to listen and stop. Those legal steps were directly related to your behavior and are your fault, not hers.