Why did this rock star harass me?

Yes I felt frozen before and didn’t immediately reacted but no one forced you stay there. He couldn’t predict that

Yes his behavior would make people feel awkward and uncomfortable but it doesn’t mean he wanted something with you backstage. I wonder if there is a reason you insist he wanted private time and you rejected him? Why do you insist that is what happened with no evidence?

Idk why I stayed there. I froze like I said. People don’t act logically st times when the flight, fight or freeze system kicks in.

We’re all wired to react differently that way. Some people fight, some flee, some freeze. Obviously I froze.

I thought I already stated that I probably made the wrong assumptions. I didn’t keep insisting that he wanted me to go backstage with him anymore.

I thought that was the case at first, but it’s not. And everything else was a wrong assumption too probably.

True. My mind was a bit hazy. I only recall that he was onstage mostly. I blanked in fear due to my anxiety when he approached me, so I didn’t see what he did exactly or recall what his facial expression was like.

OK, so I made a few wrong assumptions then probably. I FELT these things though. It seemed like that was what was going on.

Making wrong assumptions doesn’t mean that I’m delusional though. I felt disrespected & insulted when you called me delusional before.

Can you please not do that again? You could just say that I probably got the wrong impression about things, but delusional is a strong word.

You probably wouldn’t like it if someone callef you delusional, would you?

I’m glad to hear that you had fun at those shows. Snd it’s good that you take safety precautions too.

I have stayed away from the pit too. I have always stayed way off to the side as well. Things can still get crazy.

What other precautions do you take to stay safe? I’d appreciate some tips that might be able to help me stay safe at shows.

Although I have anxiety, I still enjoy going to shows. I didn’t completely disagree with other people. I misunderstood what some people said. I stated that a few times & apologized for that.

What I’m upset about is having people call me delusional for making the wrong assumptions about his actions. I was there btw, so only I know what really happened too.

Instead of callimg me delusional, it’d be nicer to say thst I made the wrong assumptions, but to call me delusional is rude, disrespectful & insulting.

I’m receptive to comments, I’m just not receptive to being disrespected. I never expected anyone to agree with me. I simply didn’t understand or completely agree with some people about certain things.

Example, this kind of behavior is normal. No, it is not normal, I’ve been to lots of shows in the past & this is the only time I’ve had had something like this happen to me.

Also, I have not heard about this happening to other people as well anywhere. People kept trying to convince me that it is normal for some reason.

I simply disagreed with them. I’m entitled to my personal opinion too. Disagreeing with why he did this doesn’t make me delusional.

I already stated that I’m not entirely sure why he did that either. I didn’t state things as facts. Some people clearly misunderstood me. Only he knows why he did the things he did. None of us, myself included will ever know the truth for sure.

I was just trying to get answers. And I was judged by a few people on here which is upsetting to me. I didn’t do anything wrong. I just failefd to react to the situation by moving away.

Just because I misunderstood or disagred with other people about things doesn’t mean that I’m delusional or not taking their comments seriously. What am I supposed to do, say that they’re right about everything? Or agree with everything they told me?

I can’t help it if I froze. Did no one on here ever freeze in up before? I don’t understand why everyone expected me to just move like it was that simple.

Perhaps we’re all wrong about what his intent was. Maybe I was right, maybe not. Maybe other people are right, who knows. I’m only going off what I experience. That doesn’t exactly make me delusional. Only he knows why he did what he did.

Probably. Performers shouldn’t disrespect fans like this. It’s rude.

I’ve never called you or anyone else delusional at all. Yes it’s a strong word and I’ve never used it whatsoever. Where do you see it?

Agreed. It is rude. I would have felt the same way. Just want to also validate how you felt.

Thanks. It was very rude & inappropriate.

Maybe. I worked before & it did nothing for my self esteem. What would definitely help is if more people would treat me with more respect & consideration. And it’d help if I had a better relationship with my husband & my family too. That’s not going to happen though as they’ll never change.

Jesyka, I think it’s just the other way around.
You can’t base your self-esteem on others’ behaviours or reactions. Self-esteem has to grow or be repair from the inner.
We can’t depend so much on what happens outside. If we would do so, we were like leaves moved by the wind. Our mood would depend on what others may think or react with us. And even worse, would depend on the reasons why we may think the other person is acting the way they are. Most of the time, a wrong assumption because people make mistakes, there are misunderstandings, we have all our mood at different moments, circumstances, our beliefs (maybe the rock star believed he was only being cool, making a role at the stage) who knows.
I’ve been to a concert where the group began to insult the audience and the audience threw them tins, plastic bowls and all. They then, returned these to the audience. And they were a very famous band.
It’s very important that your next therapy work with you this point about how to repair self-esteem and also, help you with mentalizing so you will be able to reach a better comprehension of your own behaviour and people’s one.

Mentalization-based therapy (MBT)

Hope you find it helpful.

I think the most helpful thing that can come out of this thread for you @jesyka is noticing your reactions, which are happening in the here and now and not in 2000 while under the influence, right here to us on the thread. For instance, you thought that people considered you a slut and a groupie. You thought that someone called you delusional. Yet, these things did not happen. So this is how you imagination works and then you believe that other people treat you very badly. I believe this explains many of your posts. Not only do you think that in 2000 the rock star was vengeful, and he most likely wasn't but you cannot ask him, but right now you thought that you were considered delusional and a slut. And here on the thread you can verify whether what you believe is true. You can go up the thread and see if you can find written evidence. You can ask people whether they indeed believe what you are ascribing and attributing to them. You can reality check, right here. And hopefully this will lead to some learnings which you can then apply IRL.

How’d you come to these conclusions?

Don’t talk to anyone

Don’t ever stand upfront. I stay all the way in the back now.

Don’t ever go anywhere alone

Don’t ever try to meet anyone famous again.

Although touching is uncalled for, I don’t see how it’s weird to tell you to stop taking pics with flash. There shouldn’t be any signs about it. It’s just a given. They are working on stage and flash distracts snd blinds them. She was absolutely correct. No need to threaten her with kicking her out or being rude. You could politely ask her to step aside and acknowledge that you made a mistake with picture taking.

No need to stop talking to people or stop going places.

I think the first topic with therapist could be why you misinterpret what people say and do online and in person and how to improve. Constantly misunderstanding people leads to much suffering on your part

I mentioned having misunderstood a few people on here, sorry once agaiin. I’ll try to forget about this & learn from my mistakes.

I still want to go out, so I’m overthinking things now on how to avoid being targeted again. A friend & I nhave ticketscto see two different bands in October. We’re going to a club next month too.

Her & I have only had one issue with some weird lady who tried to stop me from taking pics of this band one time. I told her to stop touching me & to get out of my fave or I’d have security kick her out.

She then went to talk to my friend & said something about the flash & helping me. I didn’t see any signs up. Weird! God, I’m a freak magnet, ugh! lol

At least I wasn’t sexually harassed!

So far all I was able to come with is this:

Be more aware of who is around me

Don’t drink to much

Don’t talk to anyone

Don’t ever stand upfront. I stay all the way in the back now.

Don’t ever go anywhere alone

Don’t ever try to meet anyone famous again.

Move if someone is being creepy.

Get a bouncer to kick out anyone who bothers me immediately.

I just think it’s me keeping myself safe.

The way she went about things was inappropriate. She didn’t need to wave her hands in front of my phone or touch me.

That’s rude. She made me uncomfortable by violating my personal space.