Roll call

Here and doing well.

Not sure how old your step son is and how long you've been his dad, but I adopted a teenaged boy at the age of almost 13. We had a lot of conflict too. Partly I think it's because I took over the "mom" role kind of late, after he'd really had no mom because his bio mom was so incompetent and then he'd been in a series of foster homes.

I had a friend, though, who made this analogy and later his therapist confirmed it. My friend said that she'd noticed that when a bf was getting ready to break up with her, he'd start picking lots of fights. She'd noticed this with more than one bf, and her thinking was that it's easier to leave someone who's angry and unpleasant. So if you make the other person angry and unpleasant by picking fights, you won't be as uncomfortable when you separate. She saw a parallel in what my son was doing as he reached the age of leaving home. She speculated that he was subconsciously trying to make me angry so it wouldn't hurt so much to separate.

I don't know how old your step son is or the specifics of your troubles with him, but if he's nearing the age of leaving home - or even if he's had other "dads" who eventually left him - he may not want to get too close for fear of being hurt (again).

Thanks costello. He is sixteen. That seems like a reasonable thought. His bio-dad was a gun lover. He divorced my mentally disabled wife and left her with handguns and ammunition and a newborn. My wife had no idea how to store or handle weapons and ammunition. I found them both in a drawer of socks. Our son was 6 years old. I entered his life when he was 5 years old. We sold the guns and disposed of the ammunition. His bio-dad got paid by my terrified wife to leave and sign off on parental rights. She paid him 5,000 dollars. Is that right?

I think my step-son is afraid of being hurt. I want to help.

I think that this is a great tread, because it helps me to focus on TODAY... not tomarrow, not yesterday, but TODAY...this gives me hope that tomarrow can be different.

THanks

Today...right now... I am struggling

I'm okay. No motivation to do anything at all. So I won't do anything.

Parenting a teen is an art, not a science. Good luck.

accounted for, but not entirely present

Thanks costello.

Brook, my son is a few months shy of sixteen. They do start to change at that age. There is the hormonal upheaval of course, the fact that they are straddling the divide between boy and man. I think it's natural for teenage boys to feel unsettled, and to act up against the authority in their life. It's a phase... stay steady, and when the dust settles he'll still see you as the good guy. You're the guy who is there for him and his Mom, no matter what. He'll see that again.

Here and feeling happy.

only about 3 hours of sleep

I cried hard next to a river. I feel better.

Glad you're feeling better brook. And lil angel wings, sorry about the bad night's sleep. At least I know mine was because I forgot my seroquel.

Sorry I've kinda disappeared. Came down with a really bad stomach bug and I've just been struggling emotionally lately. I canceled my last therapy appointment and then when she called to reschedule I lied and told her I was doing fine so we rescheduled for two weeks from now. I wouldn't say I'm having hallucinations but I'm having really vivid violent thoughts that arn't going away, a lot of brief panic attacks, and I've been having trouble distinguishing some of my dreams from reality. I wish I could just curl up with a bunch of pills and sleep for awhile. I know I can't right now, so I've been slipping with my dieting and bindging on some chocolate. Lesser of two evils right now I guess. I've also had a lot of caffeine lately to keep me going. I should probably cut that down a little bit.

Here and just a touch depressed. Weird to be so cheerful all week then feel down on Saturday morning.

I know that feeling. I've been going fantastically all week, and am suddenly feeling tired. Time for a snooze, I think.

here .... for today .... maybe not tomarrow .... what is here today will not be remembered tomarrow...all is done in vain...vanity of all vanities....all is done in vain....for when i am gone there will be nothing to be remembered

I feel like I just walked out from a tornado, uhhh? Its been a confusing last 12 hours, I feel better now. I feel healthy and vibrant. I don't get it. Cathartic? I'm grateful, whatever it was.

Im sorry to hear that hun! Feel better!

Here! First day on risperdal and I can hardly stay awake

Waking up tired, headaches, and forever cold. Having thyroid checked Thurs.

Here. Add a slight headache to yesterday's mild depression.

My son is having odd thoughts. He seems to be aware that his ideas are possibly not true, so he checks them with me. I just can't figure out why he's starting this now. Maybe the stress over the job hunt? His anxiety level was very high early last week. Now he's retreating into his weird thinking.

His eyes are shiny again too. I mentioned that shiny-eyed look he gets before, but in the past it's been associated with rages. Now he's not raging. I wonder if his eyes get shiny because he's not blinking enough? The moisture on the surface isn't cleared, so the eyes get shiny?

He also needs a haircut, so his hair is sticking out all around. Between the shiny unblinking eyes and the sticking out hair, he's looking pretty wild.

He says he's not feeling irritable, but that he's on the edge of irritability. Just not sure what to do next to make things better. Maybe nothing? Maybe it'll pass on its own? I'm just glad he seems to be aware that the things he's thinking aren't necessarily accurate.

I feel good.

Here. After a really good and productive week, I hit a lot of distress. Strange tastes and sounds, and feelings of being touched by people - very vivid. Suicidal urges come and go in waves. Dreams have given me little sleep, and have been very disturbing.
I was increasingly convinced that my psychiatrist has been arrogant, short sighted, and scheming. My wife got very stroppy and argued that she was convinced the psychiatrist was doing her best to help, albeit from her own frame of reference. Maybe she is right, but now I have a feeling that I can't trust anybody very easily at the moment. Hopefully this will all go away by itself soon.

I don't know your pdoc, but from my experience with pdoc's (and all doctors really) she probably is arrogant and short-sighted, but I doubt she's actually scheming.

She's arrogant because she's afraid to admit to anyone, including herself, that she doesn't really know what she's doing. She's just doing the best she can and hoping for the best.

She's short-sighted because she operates in a system that won't allow anything else. Time and patience aren't allowed. The push is for results - and as fast as possible.

The sense that she's scheming may come from the habit of mental health professionals to assume that their patients aren't competent to be full partners in their own health care. So decisions are made behind their backs then pressed on them. It must feel very creepy from the point of view of the patient. Also it's a terrible thing to do to someone who's already paranoid.