Roll Call 24

ugh. just when i thought things were going ok it gets shi_tty.

did something happen, newtus?

i just hope she doesnt put me on injections

Newtus: I hope you don't need injections again, too. But, I also feel it's better that you were honest. I think your psychiatrist can't give you the right care you need if you hide. I hope it works out.

Junk: Work is very stressful and the main part of stress at work is other people, and especially customers. I'd be way better at my job if I didn't actually have to interact with anyone. That's not possible, though. It took a long time for my job to understand that I am flat in my expressions and not always cheerful and I can't force or act it. When patients ask me if I'm feeling bad, I just try to smile and say I'm fine, just a long day. The #1 rule of customer service is you serve them first and put you second... it's really hard, especially when you're not doing so great.

i feel like sh_t today. i did before i went to the pdoc. now i just feel worse

ok i dont know if i ve ever mentioned this but i have a sister who is 16months older than me and she was diagnosed as bipolar a few years ago. well when i was home recently we were talking and she really opened up to me for the first time in a LONG time. she told me ho wmuch she is struggling right now. she said she went to the ER one night and cried there for 6 hours trying to get them to give her abilify because thats what worked before but she doesnt consistently take her meds. they wouldnt give it to her but she saw a psychiatrist today and tried to get abilify but her insurance wouldnt cover it all the way. anyway she got a free 30 day supply. she told me she thinks the government spys on her phone. and she is losing all her friends. im so worried about her. her boyfriend committed suicide a couple years ago. im worried that she will do the same.

i texted T and told him how worried and scared i am. he said maybe i can use that to empathize with how he feels sometimes about me. its really interesting to be on the other side of that issue. to fear for someones life that u are close to. now i feel bad for all thsoe times i made T worry and get scared. but its a motivator for me. why does T have to be so deep. i guess thats his job. but he really makes me think sometimes.

omg im having a panic attack. i just curled up in a ball and cried for 5 minutes. thats what happpens when i have a panic attack. i cry

You know they have abilify maintena now---1X per month injection----also there is a program though the manufacturer where they reduce your copay to like $25 a month for the pills but its only up to some limit it will cover---the just give you a card like a credit card and you give it to the pharm.

https://www.abilifyassistprogram.com...-patients.aspx

$25 abilify for people with insurance sort of a gap coverage thing....

should i go back to see that therapist one more time since the hospital told me to follow up with her? im just scared that since i didnt cancel - that if i dont go theyll put me back in hospital

From my perspective you're better off going---I have no idea what happens if you miss a follow up from something involuntary---also it's good for you to interact with other people. It may be nerve-wracking but it gets easier the more you do it....

god im scared. its just that this one hospital (not the one i went to. along time ago) if you didnt follow up - insurance wouldnt pay for your hospital stay.

its just this therapist keeps sending me to the hospital

Newt us..

1). I think its good that your dad is in there. He can help you better and he will feel better if he better understands what's going on... he can help with med compliance... he can be more sensitive to your symptoms. He will be getting professional education from the psychiatrist that will help him in his role.

2). I think you are panicking about injections. I think injections are very unlikely as long as you have a plan to be compliant with treatment. So its in your control.

That's weird but I know sometimes if you for example leave treatment against medical advice your hospital time is not covered so perhaps that is an extension of that policy----

Oh wow this turns out to be an urban legend that's pervasive among doc so who knows...

http://www.uchospitals.edu/news/2012...3-billing.html

Wait is this the one you wanted to harm? Does she have a connection to greenoaks? If not then I don't see how it would impact anything at all albeit I'm not an expert because I never had involuntary....

idk if she does but the community clinic might. i just dont want a mental health warrant sent on me. and yes that is the therapist i wanted to harm

i sent this link to my sister. thanks.

i got in a car wreck and was taken to the hospital but i left AMA and my insurance paid for it.

Oh wow...that seems like a really bad idea can you call green oaks and find out what will happen if you don't go since they made the referral?

Yeah that's why I put the link once I figured it out...it's not true at all...but the docs perpetuate the myth...

im scared to call.
whats a bad idea? seein her again?

im not just panicking over the injections but seeing that therapist again too plus that my dad has to go in with me to see pdoc now

whats a bad idea sometimesp?

So sick of this place!!!!I can't trust anyone at this hospital Even the ones I thought I was making friends with one of them (not sure which one) Told on me to one of the nurses when I was telling them what really happened to me during my break that led up to me being placed in here. My mother was telling them I was attempting suicide and I didn't want to talk about it So I never told them the actual reason as to why I did it...But I trusted in this one person well it was a group of 3 people but only one of them told on me... well I told them and IT was my fault I shouldn't trust anyone here at all...And So now because they know I am subject to bouts of psychosis that makes me cause myself harm, I have a nurse stationed near my room who comes in every 15 minutes to check up on me... SO I officially have 0 privacy now. And she has to follow me wherever I go and watch me. Also they let me know If I act out they will keep me in my room and I won't be allowed to be out for a 24 hour period (Like they did when I first got placed in here)and nurses will be in and around my room during the entire time Again...that is the extreme suicide/violent out breaks watch.. Sometimes they will strap you down if you are acting too violently or too unstable.The usual watch around here is 30 minutes to 6 hours depending on your behavior. So I am so paranoid to say or do anything that will get me in trouble. I do not want to be under another 24 hour watch,or strapped down..I will be glad when this is all over it's a nightmare.