Roll Call 34

That sounds cool....you seem to have a lot of practical knowledge if there is ever a zombie apocalypse I'm with you....

whats everyone doing tonight?

Waiting for a file to up load my upload speed is like 0.1 mb right now it's terrible and I have a twenty mb file.....it's been like ten minutes....

I have to be working (remotely) on the weekend so in a year or two everybody will still get paid you know including me....

It's like planting crops.....

What are you up to?

Grant writing...except that at some point everyone starts screaming or crying or laying on the floor with a flash light and a pack of crayola markers to edit...or maybe that is just me...

im just sittig on my bed drinking and thinking about life and things and the people i know or have met. thinking about the future. thinking about my therapist. thinking about how glad i am to still have my dad and for him to still be alive and healthy. hell be 70 in a couple of years. sometimes i wish he was younger so i could enjoy him longer. but im just glad to still have him.

i guess im just in a depressive state still about all this stuff going on

I'm sorry I know you really liked your T but maybe you will get an even better one? Your dad sounds like my parent age they are I think 66 or so...they really look old now.....I hope they last a lot longer I really can't picture life without them....

Do you do art or anything when you get depressed...I'm finding having a task even if it's work to be super helpful and bringing me out of things a bit...

my dads gonna be 68 in a couple of months. my dad looks young though. despite him having a semi bald head from aging. i cant picture life without him either.

i dont do any art when i get depressed. i used to but that was when i was a teen. so many years ago. i usually sleep now when im sad. or i get on here or facebook or call someone when im sad. i called my mom some minutes ago tho. she could only talk for 15 min. plus i think she had been drinking again tonight. we talked on the phone last night and she was drunk and made me cry. just accusing me of things. it sucked. made me more sad than i already was. but i like to talk to someone when im sad. it helps me get out the nervous depressive feelings a bit.

i have a feeling ill be depressed for the next two weeks or more...

my bankaccount is overdrawn. im really concerned about this. idk if they will give me enough time for my check to come in

I havent felt like writing much lately I am not ignoring anyone just not feeling very stable and not sure what to say...but I am here and I do care and I hope everyone is having a good weekend.

Hello all.

Yes in the event of a zombie apocalypse some essential thing you would need acces to are:
Clean water
A food garden
Barricaded shelter
Non perishables
Melee weapons
Projectile weapons
Method of efficient and quick travel
A partner
Knowledge of your area
The best place to be would be a rural area with a low population, with a low risk of natural disasters (you don't need a hurricane during a zombie apocalypse) and suitable soil, temperature, and weather for growing plant year- round.
You probably didnt need for me to tell you this but I like to spread knowledge.

You forgot the most important thing... Running shoes. Everyone know zombies are slow.

I'm glad to see no insomniac posts this morning, hopefully everyone slept or is sleeping well?

Hello and welcome.

Hi....welcome!

So happy to be reading again after stopping my abilify - now I'm on to The Dangerous Lives of Alter Boys, a book my husband loves, having grown up in a Catholic orphanage. The first one was a reread - The Whale Rider, which I cried myself through the entire book, it's so beautiful.

i got better sleep today. hows everyone?

Well I got 5 hrs of sleep, yay!! I'm back to taking 3 mgs of risperdal a day until I'm sleeping regularly. I was in a horrible mixed episode. Coming out of it now. Going from crying to paranoia to anger to guilt. Just kept shifting fast. Yesterday it was just intense paranoia.

So mental illness sucks!

I called the on call therapist and she wanted me to go to the hospital. It's pointless to go though. So I just stayed home and acted like I was in the hospital, lol. Just stayed offline and drank lots of sleepy time tea. So I was going on 2 weeks of barely any sleep. Trying to keep track mind is still racing somewhat. I couldn't keep track of all my meds yesterday, so my sisters came over and helped. They do love me. I just feel so alone sometimes.

I hope u guys don't mind me posting here. I just don't feel comfortable on the bp forum for a couple reasons. But I do feel safe here.

for me, the more people that post the more likely I am to relate to something that is brought up. My diagnosis is Schizoaffective Disorder, but I post on this site too, because I can relate to some of the posts here more than the bipolar disorder forum, and because there are so few posts on the schizoaffective forum. Lately, I've just kind of browsed around and posted wherever I can relate, and I wonder also if it's ok. Hopefully others feel the same way as I do.

I understand. There's just some ppl on the bp forum I don't feel safe around. And u can put them on ignore, but they can still see your posts. I don't think they should be able to. But that's the way it is. And some of them really irritate me.

I'd agree with that.

Don't forget, it's the "Schizophrenia and Psychosis" forum. So takes in more than just people with straight up sz.

I mean as long as people are supportive or have good input, I don't see why it matters if they have any form of psychosis at all.

i keep thinking someones gonna put me in hospital soon.

I think you'll be ok. Are u still taking your meds?

You know the truth is I mess with my meds. I do, typical bp when I start to feel stable I start increasing some and decreasing others. I just hate that numb feeling. I like intensity I guess. But the psych nurse said, if u take the meds and stabilize for a year, then we can start lowering some. But once I stabilize I start to feel bored. And emotionally numb. I just don't know. I do know my family is sick of it...

I am thinking about stopping these meds they are making me depressed I would rather have the chances of having all the voices and hallucinations and possibility of going into psychosis than this heavy unshakable depression I have been feelings prior to being on this heavier dose of haldol. at least when I was unmedicated I wasnt so depressed and I had more interesting thoughts and things seemed more fun...sure I would get paranoid and afraid easily but I still had more adventurous moments.