Roll call 55

Well done Blue_Bird!

*Willow*

I know exactly how you feel, except I don't know the cause of my cognitive dysfunction. I hope it is the meds. Then it's reversible. I'm kinda worried I have a brain tumor..

I tried reading an intriguing article on the neuroscientific basis for positive symptoms in sz today. I had to read every paragraph like three times. Then I kept having to go back and summarize everything I had read after every section, and I still had problems remembering what I learned. It makes learning anything seem futile; why should I take the time, when I'm just going to forget everything in 5 minutes anyway?

I'm trying to see my struggle to be productive despite these cognitive issues in a romantic light-"she would go to any lengths to accomplish her noble goals!". lol

its my haldol i think. im very sure. it did this last time.

i really wanna stop taking my meds cuz of this.

this IS detrimental to my mental health. i cant think straight. i didnt speak to my NP about it because i just realized that it was my meds. i didnt think about it til now. thats how much of the stupids its giving me. even my dad is noticing it. he thinks im going backwards. he thinks im getting ill again and im not!!! its driving me nuts.

watch me get off my meds then he tells me how good im doing! i just better tell him its my meds before he thinks im ill again. and tell my NP. but now i wont see her for another month since i just saw her a few days ago. UGH.

hahah right? its not pretty. ugh. its so disconcerting. if im EVEN using THAT word right. idk right now. im very very very frustrated.

nice job bluebird!

@willow
i made a thread for documentaries and movies on schiz exclusively. its somewhere on the 3rd page maybe 4th. somehwere around there.

Contact the office of your NP leaving a message of whats going on and get an appointment as soon as you can. Then, instead of going cold turkey off your med ease out of it while you get on another. That way you don't have a relapse where things will get even worse.

That's why I did at least. It worked for me. I hope your NP office and NP can be of some service to you in this way. Mine is and usually clinics are.

did my homework...then went out with my mom...ran some errands. now we are home watching tv. i had a good day hope everyones day was good....

thanks!
yea i should do that. although im not sure how helpful they can be to me.
i wont go off my meds cold turkey. but im not gonna raise them as i thought i was going to do. because of this. i cant think straight. plus gaining weight.

i noticed the receptions telling someone else that the NP was booked for months away... who knows.

I found the John Nash documentary A Beautiful madness. The link is here if anyone else is interested:

*Willow*

i saw that i think! its good

whats everyones up to tonight?

I'm going to go to bed early, in like an hour. I have an 8AM appt at CVS to get a tetanus shot-yes, they do that at CVS, haha. I was really out of date with it, and then I stepped on a sharp rock and researched tetanus and got really scared. So I'm taking care of that.

I was reading through my old journals earlier tonight. Entries from four years ago about how inadequate and hopeless I felt...relative to now, I was doing really well then! It scared me; what is going to happen in the next four years?

yea i get my shots done at target or cvs. have a good night secretum!

Thanks, Newtus!

Apparently, coming up with words as you speak is a form of thought disorder. I knew it! Shakespeare was one of us psychotics!

My anxiety is off the rails. Unfortunately I can't sleep anymore.

OK so I thought long and hard on it and pretty sure I'm relapsing.. or on the way there. Weird things are happening and lots of other symptoms but I'm pretty sure that it's not sz and that weird stuff is, in fact, happening. Now I am afraid of going into rage.. angry all the time. I have appointment with T in 1 week and I really don't want to see anyone before that but how do I know when it's so serious that I have to call T? I'm also more paranoid than I have been in a long time and it's difficult to figure out what's the right thing to do... Don't want to go in dept about this but things are tough and I know stuff is happening that doesn't make sense and I can't explain it to myself like my T would do it... "rationally"... you know? But that's not what's bothering me anyway it's mostly the fear and anger that is bothering me.

Are you on any meds, and forgot to take them?

I am on 600 mg seroquel + 2.5 mg zyprexa and have been taking every dose almost all the time.

I think it could beneficial to at least call your T, to let them know how you're feeling. Maybe you won't have to go in. It sounds like things are causing you a lot of distress and it's not fair to you to have to feel like that for a week.

Went out and got very drunk last night. Was a mess. Friend was glad to see me though. Suffering for it today.
I'm not eating much recently. One small meal a day. I can't work out if it's because I don't want to eat, if it's an eating problem thing, or if I've lost my appetite. I think it might be a combination. Does anyone else lose their appetite when they're not feeling well? I always thought it was a depression thing but I'm not depressed. Can it be a psychosis thing too?

I agree with Door, you should call your T. Maybe if you skipped a dose accidentally it could cause these things too? That sort of happens to me when I switch the times around that I take the Abilify. I get more agitated and the hallucinations get worse.

Hi Justme, I hope you feel better soon. As far as eating less, when I don't feel well, my appetite decreases. I can't really speak to whether it's caused by psychosis, but many of my friends lose their will to eat I find, when they're going through it. So it may be linked.

morning.
i binge ate so much last night on ambien. it makes me sick to think about it.