Roll Call 174

Heading to my dentist appointment in about 45 minutes. Hopefully it goes okay. I'm embarrassed over the damage to my teeth from the bulimia but that's my own fault so.. Anyway, the point is I'm moving forward in my recovery and getting the medical and dental stuff taken care of.

Good job Blue_Bird going to the dentist and all. It's good you are taking care of yourself. HUGS Kit

Hope you feel better soon @falcon09 hope the hospital helps!

I talked to my T on Saturday. I was supposed to see her face to face but that didn't happen because she got locked out of her office!! So she had to call me. But the phone call dropped like six times. Then she had to stop because someone was there to let her into the office and so she called me back. I think I did get my 50 to 60 minutes but it was very chopped up. Really annoying.

I wasn't feeling well at all because I was in crisis. I was not really talking, just speaking in monosyllables. She didn't want me to be by myself so I told her I would go to a friends, but I had no intention of actually doing that. I spent the afternoon sleeping instead. I got through the crisis for the most part. I'm still sort of in crisis but it's less intense.


T was going on about anger toward inward and stuff like that. I don't know. I don't feel angry but I guess that is the point. I wasn't very cooperative which I feel bad about but I did the best I could considering.


Now I'm just trying to hang onto the threads of being okay. shredded threads.

Been having some visual hallucinations too. Sigh.

Thanks Kit but my appointment didn’t happen. I stood outside for 40 minutes waiting for my MediCab to arrive and it never did. Apparently there’s a shortage of cabs now and you have to call the morning of your appointment to confirm the ride but I didn’t know I had to do that until just now my care manager told me when I texted her . I’ll have to reschedule tomorrow

There's lots of smart people here, anyone know what to do for a sore shoulder? I've tried ice, heat, icy hot, and aspercreme with lidocaine. It feels better if I lift it up a little. Ibuprofen works pretty well but I don't know if it is safe to take it every day. I don't see my PCP until December but man my shoulder is killing me. I'm actually not sure if it is the shoulder or some muscle attached to the neck and collarbone or something. I think because I sleep on my side, plus I have scoliosis and some other bone issues. Right now I am resting my elbow on my desk and putting a pillow under my armpit to support it.

I ordered a bunch of sleepytime tea so I can stay calm and a 4lb bag of a plant based sugar alternative

Magnesium never worked for me except as a laxative. I hope you'll have better luck.

Hang in there Kit. It will be ok.

Sorry, @Blue_Bird. I hate when things like that happen. Maybe tomorrow will be a better day though.

I take ibuprofen twice a day everyday, 800mg per dose. I hope your shoulder recovers soon.

Ibuprofen is the best painkiller that isn't an opie

I saw my new psychiatrist today.. He went over some things and asked me questions, etc.. He seems very intense and serious - Would stop speaking and just sit there, sigh and continue speaking lol..

He said that I'm doing really good and no need to change my meds.

I’m so sorry bb

I'm gonna make Keto peanut butter cookies once I get my sugar substitute.

Yessss keto cookies..

All must exist for things to exist..

All I do is sleep on the 3mg vraylar. Assuming it that. Idk I forgot to take it (my meds) today cuz I took a ativan to calm anxiety. All I do is sleep, sleep, sleep.

Fckn hate it. I don’t do anything anymore. Don’t have time or will to.

So both of the psychiatrists that I've seen said that it's no problem to have a short acting stimulant in the evening once I become stable and if I still have depersonalization/derealization in the evening.

Right now the vyvanse is wearing off and I'm trying not to get depersonalization.. if I do get it too early before bed, I'll take clonazepam so no big deal right now..

Maybe it could be a low episode. You're on downtime..

Who knows but I’m obviously acting weird. Cuz I forgot to take my meds and fiancé is asking me what’s wrong. I keep staring at the ceiling idk why. Like I’m in a trance. I get that way off meds... ugh I will just be honest with him.

Sat by the fire and had a BBQ. I'm going to the farmers market in the morning with my mom and then we're gonna go for a hike and swim in the lake cuz it's supposed to be a really nice day.

Anyways, I'm very different than I was a year ago. I'm more run down. I feel like I was just potential and had more time to waste. I think the older I get, the more I will feel like I'm in an existential crisis - Which makes me feel even worse by worrying about the future.

I can't simply just do things - That's the problem. I'm always in a constant state of paralysis because of the dp/dr.

But I'm just trying to stay stable i guess right now. I'll give it 3 months and I'll see where I'm at by then.. I feel like I have cognitive impairment because of the dp/dr..

Just glad you are able to go, Blue. I have not been in 4 yrs. My mouth hurts and I have cavities $$

Wss it injured? Where exactly dies it hurt and wjat motion aggravates the pain.

NSAIDs are fairly safe short-term, but should not be used long haul. They increase stroke risk. Not really a worry for you unless you are on the pill.

Met with a lovely priest. He is gonna make me do the whole 9-month class to convert. So bummed. Most priests do not require that of folks who have been baptized, but he is hardcore. I do like him, but bummed I have to wait til Easter. Ugh!!!