Roll Call 194

I want to have more compassion for myself and for others. Which is why I'm trying work on my body image, and volunteering.

If you have any book recommendations about/related to buddhism let me know SP, no rush



I hope my new pdoc will be okay. They don't even have to be great, as long as they're not horrible. I can't really expect to get an another amazing one right away but maybe I'll be lucky. It sucks though, I pretty much have to start over with everything. Telling them about myself, etc. I don't feel comfortable talking to people especially when I first meet them, and especially when it's about mental health stuff

Hey you’re not stupid.

I see this as an opportunity to paint something else on the front on your own time and make it even better.

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I’m not sure if it Buddhism or not but there is this book called think like a monk that you might like…..it’s like the Indian version. Let me look up others.

How to be compassionate : a handbook for creating inner peace and a happier world, Bstan-ʼdzin-rgya-mtsho, Dalai Lama XIV, 1935- (2011)

This is the most popular

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Taming the tiger within : meditations on transforming difficult emotions, Nhất Hạnh, Thích. (2004)
2nd most popular

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Thank you cogladaid, that's a good idea

Thank you SP, I'll add those too my list of books to read, I appreciate it

I requested the book Think Like a Monk from my library, so I should be able to pick it up sometime next week. I am gonna buy the other two books you mentioned on my Kindle

Also, I remember really enjoying The Little Book of Hygge: Danish Secrets to Happy Living. Turns out it's part of a 3 part series called The Happiness Series, They also have The Little Book of Lykke: Secrets of the Worlds Happiest People, and The Art of Making Memories: How to Create and Remember Happy Moments all by Meik Wiking. My library has all 3, I read the first one, but not the other two. I plan on reading them now that I know they have them

Stopping the pregabalin because it makes me feel dumb + It doesn't have any anxiety relief/mood lift. Back on phenibut tomorrow. I've never actually tried regular "GABA" that can be bought at the health food store so I'll try that.

GABA – Nootropics Expert

I think I have high blood pressure. There's so many heart symptoms that I've just lost track. I don't remember much of anything this year.

I'll try and get out more. I'm so awkward because of social anxiety and I'm confused about myself and everything. I constantly have an impending sense of doom, stress, derealized thoughts, self-doubt, etc.

I've lost what it means to stay positive. I keep getting irritated by my mom - She's just trying to help but I can't control this. I listen to what strangers on the internet say rather than my own family. I was told that I have no personality and that I'm not smart enough to be enlightened (I was just making a joke but people just love to put me down).

I wish there was a place that isn't either overly comforting (To the point where I'm an outcast) or just plain evil (Same thing, outcast). And my dad talks saying "You're not crazy, I am" - And he is.. But schizophrenia has nothing to do with being "crazy". My dad helps in his own way (Not aware of psychiatry)... But everything is too much.

I said that I was afraid to die and he said that life goes on. I was anxious, on weed (I regret smoking it), felt blood rush away from my arms and head and I had to leave. I feel like everything is a stressful dream - Like I'm inside of a meat grinder - constantly.. all day, all night.

Working that extra day at work is too much for me as well cuz I'm not sure when I'm supposed to leave (12pm-2pm) - It messes with my dopamine so I just leave when I want without telling them - And then I feel bad about that.

Neighbor friend left today for a two week adventure driving to Florida so we’re taking care of her cat and dog. They’re so cute. Been like six hours and the dog is passed out and the cat is cuddled beside me on the couch.

Our dog finally stopped staring at them and went for a nap.

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Feeling much better today after phenibut + I took semax

So I'm going back to college in the Spring semester which starts around January. I don't feel mentally ready right now. I was unsure at first, and then my psychiatrist mentioned my history with messing up due to symptoms of my disorder coming on due to stress triggering, etc and then her leaving all of the sudden, and it all kind of came about quickly, it's kind of late to be registering and getting mentally prepared to take 2 classes that start so soon. So I'm going to register as soon as spring registration opens up for next semester. That will give me a few months to try out volunteering occassionally and see if I can commit to something, give me more confidence in myself. I also want to get used to having a new psychiatrist, whoever that may be

7 Steps to Overcome Daily Despair and Start Living Again

I don't know what to do. I have no clue.

Sedated myself

That sounds like a good plan!

I am feeling alright today. I am still really sad about my best friend leaving and saying basically nothing about when we'd get to see each other again. Still really upset about that...

I kinda did, too. I took the olanzapine super early.

Got an Amazon Prime subscription, looking forward to seeing what shows and stuff they have

I'm proud of myself, I bought 4 tshirts and 2 pairs of leggings for myself while at the store today, finally have some new clothes. Plan on getting more eventually too. One shirt has minnie mouse on it, one shirt has Jurassic World on it from the new movie which I saw, one is plain bright yellow, one is a graphic tee I forget what it says but anyway. Then a black pair of leggings and an army green pair of leggings. First new clothes I've had in 3 years

Going to Walmart tomorrow to buy a new backpack. Mine was so old and worn out. I had it for like 5 years and used it for carrying groceries etc.

Also the shirts were like $10 each but they were all on sale for $5 each

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Man I’m so tired…could sleep(and eat) all day…..

Might watch the new Batman tonight, depends whether I can focus on a 3 hour movie or not