Roll Call 200

Hello, just spending some time reading tonight. Started reading the Throne of Glass series by Sarah J. Maas, there’s 8 books in the series totaling a grand total of over 5,000 pages. So that’s pretty cool to get immersed in a big series. Also played some yugioh with my boyfriend today and we watched some anime.

I colored for a bit. I feel a lot more grounded than I did yesterday. Going to try to spend more time outside during the week. Get out of my apartment more. Even if it’s just to sit outside. Tired of spending all day everyday inside these walls. Gets aggravating sometimes. Just gotta work on my agoraphobic issues.

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Local soccer (footie) match today! Spent a little too long out in the sun though. Think I have a bit of a sunburn.

Went to the gym again today. Of course. My regular gym closes after Wednesday so I have to get those last workouts in.

Anyway, back to work tomorrow. Had a fun week off work.

Went to the zoo, went to the gym a lot, went to a CFL football game, saw the chiropractor, had a massage, went to the local fair, and the footie match today.

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This is the most insane life that I've experienced yet, and haven't forgotten, again.

First shift at the animal shelter tonight! I'm super nervous. I'm trying so hard to stay straight right now, especially since I have to pick up my meds in an hour or so. All the alcohol ads on spotify aren't helping.

Feeling that mania. Picked up my meds and some vodka (and a granola bar!). Why are there so many red lights in the city? Why is that area of land even called a city? It has less than 20,000 population. It certainly doesn't feel like a city. It feels like part tourist trap part crack den.

Sooooooooooo many thoughts

I used the incline on the treadmill for the first time today, it was hard lol but I did 16 minutes of it at 2.8 mph speed 4 incline. Just gotta slowly work on building my endurance

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Went to the buildings movie day event today. It went from 2:30pm to 5pm. They made popcorn in little bags like you’d get at the movie theater and had sodas too. We watched Fences (a movie starring Denzel Washington) it was really good

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Woo! It's summer =]

No hypnotic heart palps last night. But I cried etc, felt really good. It's always like that (At night), my mood lifts, more sensitive. Need to be knocked out with zopiclone.

This morning was difficult (To get ready for the day) - I slept 12 hours, refreshed now.

I want to attend to goals, go running, fix the mountain bike etc.. But there needs to be people around.. otherwise I lack motivation. The only person I talk to is my mom. And it's been this way for like 2 years. I miss the pandemic parties (A little).

Let us know how it goes

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Really big thunderstorm outside right now, pouring. Been raining for two days and will keep raining for about 3 more days.

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I’m getting coffee tomorrow so yay!! Caffeine. Just gonna have 2-3 a day then eventually like a month or so after that cut down to one cup a day and leave it at that. It’s really good for my mood. Not great for my anxiety but great for my mood and motivation and focus.

This is gonna be a fun/busy week. Tomorrow I have my volunteer shift. Wednesday I have art group. Friday is Bingo. Saturday I’m going to Dennys for brunch with my sister. Sunday I’m going to church with my friend and then afterward getting Chinese takeout and hanging out for a couple hours.

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Just got back from the animal shelter. It went pretty well. There's a lot to do, but there are two of us doing it so it's not that bad. There are 19 cats (who I'll be working with) to take care of.

Work was fine. My work computer was giving me trouble because I had to change my password and it took a while for all the systems to refresh with it. Always happens. I hate changing my password. I only have so many passwords in me.

Gym again today! Did a 115lb bench press. Proud of myself. My old max was 160lb. I also did a 1 minute plank. My old record was 2 minutes 25 seconds.

Pretty good day!

Tomorrow is deadlift day I’m excited.

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So happy for you, glad it went well It's a really fulfilling volunteer job

You know what sounds really good right now, a medium rare steak and a baked potato. I haven’t had a steak in so long. I should get one next week when I go shopping. Just one, maybe a filet mignon and baked potato and make myself a special dinner one night just for the heck of it. I think I’m gonna do that.

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I’m going to have steak on Saturday for Canada Day! Enjoy the steak.

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Thank you! I hope you enjoy your steak too! And early happy Canada Day to you and the others here in Canada

Also great job with all the gym stuff, you’re doing really well

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In a much better mood than I was in for the past few weeks. I feel like I’m starting to come out of my depressed phase. I exercised today, socialized, went to the movie event/got out of my apartment, took a shower, starting to clean some and work on my apartment and starting saving money for my own furniture and going back to college. The furniture in my apartment (bed, armchair, and loveseat) all came with the apartment. It’s really uncomfortable like hospital type furniture covered in pleather and makes a lot of noise when you move at all. Anyway, I’m gonna start saving so I can get an actual small couch, some kind of armchair, and a new mattress. And give them their furniture back.

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Oh I forgot to mention earlier when I was at the gym I was ending my workout with a 10 min walk on the treadmill.

Anyway, I’m walking and a couple treadmills over these two skinny *****es got on the treadmills and gave me the side eye.

Like **** off, I can probably bench press you. Deadlift you both together.

I hate people like that.

I’m built from old Slavic stock. I’m not a tiny person. I’m built to lift heavy weights.

I’m at the gym to have fun and workout not to be judged by snooty *****es who think they’re hot **** because they’re tiny and look aesthetically pleasing.

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I am a reality rodent, looking for inter dimensional cheese/dopamine

Constant

Cabin fever

Forever

And ever...

Can't sleep, skipped my thorazine last night. So tossing and turning for a couple hours now probably up for the day at 2:30am. Was just tired of the side effects of sleeping a lot and lethargy

I’ll take it tonight though

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Well we've been having thunderstorms all night and our basement flooded and the water alarm went off at like 2am and I've been up since then.

But life is gooooood. I'm listening to Rainbow Kitten Surprise. Highly recommend. Especially Devil Like Me and Frefall

the thunder was scaring the hell outta me. A few of them had me jumping three feet out of my chair. I like thunderstorms though, I just get startled haha.

Still up, have my volunteer shift with the kitties in a couple hours from now.

I feel like I don’t need my meds, but I’m trying to be compliant.