Roll Call 200

Depends, usually I just say it’s not true or not really happening depending on which is more likely. However it recently spiraled rapidly into psychosis for me and only a med increase helped. You can also try cbt skills with the woebot app.

Could you try to counter those negative thoughts with more positive, but still accurate thoughts? If those negative thoughts are repetitive, come up with some affirmations ahead of time that you can look at or think of when the negative thoughts pop up. I know that's kinda what your psych said, but a little more detailed.

When it starts spiralling, maybe come up with something to distract yourself with? Or do some intense exercise for a few minutes?

i really feel like calling on-call but my peer specialist was literally just here this morning and I was laughing and joking with her and then I was sad at one point but then I was laughiing again when she left and I don't want to wait 15 minutes for them to call me back only to be asked what's going on and to say "I don't ****ing know I feel like a total shitstorm" and being asked what helps. If I knew what helps I would do it. You know what helps? Getting wasted but that's not an option right now and I know that's not the best thing to do.

They just tell me to distract myself anyways or use my coping skills

I'm beyond coping skills

Well this actually happened I'm certain of it. It's been a long time since though, but every night it spirals out of control and im having trouble sleeping again.

I swear if I hear my neighbor's dogs fight again I'm going to call the police and tell them it sounds like they're torturing animals over there

Can they adjust your meds?

Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

What I meant was that it might be that your thoughts aren’t entirely accurate like when I think people hate me or whatever. They may or they may not but believing it to be true doesn’t help me. That kind of thing.

Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

Thx, I know that (Now).. But didn't (Back then). In some vapes, there's vitamin E - And it can literally kill people.

Now, everything is pretty regulated (3-4 stores a 10 minute walk away) - But I don't smoke very much/or often anymore.

Doesn't sound good, Job. That's how I would get (Past 2-3 years - Until around ~a month ago - With some intervals of it, randomly sometimes).

A benzo can help. And then working just daily (On thought processes/life reactions), being responsible (For the moment), no matter what happens, humour helps too.

PTSD, it happens real bad. To limit any non-medication chems (I find it hard to listen to self, with that.. But am not a normal addict).

Like the video chat people.. my moms exes, random people, coworkers etc.. It's tough. But you'll get through it. I'd hate to think of you, lying there.. Having bad thoughts. You must be happy! And read, write etc.. Don't let those people get you down...

I slept! From 9pm to 5am

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Not until Friday, although I did just take my first dose of naltrexone this morning (I am super nauseous and tired).

Did 30 minutes on the treadmill on an incline. Was a heck of a workout, pouring sweat.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I’ve been adding more abs and treadmill into my workouts with the plan I’m working on. The other day I was on the treadmill 3.0 speed 4 incline and my calves were burning after like 2 minutes I had to lower the incline to 2 lol.

Incline is so hard!

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Yes it is! I was was so worn out last time I tried it I only got 16 minutes at an incline of 4 and speed of 2.8, but this time I managed the full 30 minutes. I didn’t think I’d make it. But listening to an interesting podcast while doing it helps. It feels good though in a way, if that makes sense. I also did 30 reps/bicep curls with my 8lb weights and 15 squats with a resistance band. My goal is to get up to an incline of 6 with a speed of 3.2. And 60 reps with weights, and 45 squats. That will be awhile though cause this is already challenging and I need to keep doing this first to build stamina/endurance till I’m ready to increase speed/incline etc

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

In addition to doing this at 5-7 days a week I’m also trying to add in more movement in general. Like sitting less, standing more, walking around, doing household chores etc, taking the stairs instead of the elevator. It all will add up over time
And taking walks outside

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I have art group later today. Then I’m gonna practice ukulele. That’s about it for today. Bingo is Friday. Saturday I’m getting my haircut, I’ll post a pic of what I’m gonna try to get

Getting it dyed blue at some point. Not Saturday. But probably sometime in August

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Oooh I love it!!!

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Last day at my local gym today. I’m sad.

But my workout plan is going good. I’m on week one (setting my current maximums) of eight weeks and man, it’s been three days and I’m sore. Especially my glutes. Damn.

The days go:

Squat
Bench press
Deadlift
Overhead press
Bent over row

Today is overhead press day!

Tomorrow I go for a free workout with my sister to check out this gym setup. It’s the gym setup that’s replacing my current gym, but it’s a different location. Basically seeing if I like the setup for the gym in general. If it has what I want then I’ll do a three-four month membership somewhere else and use that while I wait for the new location to get setup and open. The current gym location is perfect so I hope it’s all good.

I’ll probably check out the YMCA this weekend for fun. Next week I’ll probably sign up for a membership at another gym. They’re closed on Saturday and Monday (Canada day and then an in lieu of holiday day). So probably Sunday or Tuesday.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Oh, and I bought a weightlifting belt! For when I get into like 300lb deadlifts. Don’t want to give myself a hernia.

I tried to buy one local but they didn’t have my size so I found this Canadian website of weightlifting accessories and bought it.

Should be here on Friday or so.



I did deadlifts yesterday and lifted 215lbs so I have a way to go before I use the belt, but I’m ready!

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I’m really feeling that workout now. My energy just crashed and I just want to lay for like 2 hours straight. I’ve been up doing things since 5am. My legs feel really tired now.

About to go to art group in about 10 minutes (if they actually have it)

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

DBT group today. I probably won't be able to focus but can I sit through the whole group is another question. I just got back from taking the kittens outside, we're about to get a thunderstorm. They keep saying to do calming activities like writing, crocheting, walking, reading, hot showers, lavender essential oil stuff, deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, etc. but I can't spend all ****ing day tensing and releasing the muscles in my feet and within five minutes of finnishing up whatever, if it even works, I'm back to whatever is going on.

And I love him but Pemi's annoying me soo much today

Painted this in art group. I was the only one that went. So they just left the art supplies out so I could do whatever I wanted

Practiced ukulele for an hour. Maybelle really seems to like me playing my ukulele. She sits right up against me and stares at me while I play and snuggles. She did it two days in a row now. She seems to enjoy when I start playing

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Sorry you’re struggling

I feel similar sometimes. I feel like I go from coping skill to coping skill on days I’m struggling but sometimes it just doesn’t make any difference because the moment I stop I’m back to where I was mentally. And it’s not realistic to try to do coping skills 12 plus hours a day and you need time to chill too, and that’s when thoughts and stuff get overwhelming

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk