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#26
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Thank you Gus for your encouragement and support of our efforts here. I look forward to learning more about CenterPoint. Sounds very interesting.
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#27
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Self induced stress is right Sun. I am learning that awareness is the first key. When I consciously am attentive to my body responses I am less likely to wind up. Present in the moment instead of always chasing time. Another practiced discipline. I am hoping that meditation is going to make me generally more attentive to present moments and slow my pace through life down a dozen notches.
Hope your 'sits' were good for you. |
![]() sundog
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#28
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A great sit last night. Late getting started and felt pretty wound up so it took some time at the start just to slow the rapid breathing down. I couldn't even close my eyes without the twitching but as my breathing relaxed my eye lids relaxed too. It felt good to take myself from fast to slow and enjoy the peace and quiet of being without thinking or doing. I wasn't ready to stop so I meditated for a while on a mandala and then just sat open to receive from a spirit of thanksgiving. I ended the session with a smudge and prayer. It was relaxing and I felt joy afterwards.
I didn't use the matt. I was concerned it might energize me so decided to try it in the morning instead. As it happened I slept in this morning so I skipped my morning sit. I am heading out now for a meditative walk. I missed the sun shine hour but it has warmed up some and the sky is blue so its all good. Wishing only wellness. |
#29
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Quote:
Hi ((((((sanityseeker)))))) ![]() I'm so glad you had such a good session!! And that you experienced feelings of joy afterwards!! Yay!!! I hope you're having a lovely walk! ![]() I had a very abbreviated session this morning as I was running late. Also, one of my dogs came up to me and started prodding me with her paw!!! So this morning was kind of a bust, but I'm going to try and make up for it by finding some time to sit outside quietly in the sunshine later. ![]()
__________________
![]() Peace is every step ~ Thich Nhat Hanh |
#30
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This evening I did 15 minutes of peaceful meditation.
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#31
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Well, it's taken me awhile to get back here to our little sangha. Congrats to you all for your practice! My meditation yesterday morning was brief, probably under 10 minutes, but a start in getting back to meditating at home, not just in my IRL sangha. I had "monkey mind", thoughts jumping around, but I was able to keep coming back to my anchor, being inbreaths and outbreaths. I've heard it repeated often that the object isn't to be free of thoughts, but to allow whatever arises to arise without judgment, maybe briefly noting "planning mind", "body discomfort", "thought of past", "fear thought", or whatever, and then returning to the anchor.
It's easy for me to start judging "good" vs. "bad" meditation sessions. I get attached to those "good" meditations, and feel bummed out when I struggle again the next time I sit. "Spiritual materialism", it's called. I had trouble waking up this morning due to a new medication. I lay in bed, instead of sitting, trying to stay with the rising and falling of my diaphragm as I breathed. I didn't stay with it very long. I need to sit through restlessness, which comes up for me a lot. Sometimes, walking is easier when I'm very restless, feeling the sensations of the shifting weight of my legs and feet. I'm going to sit this evening for at least 10 minutes, and listen to at least part of a dharma talk, which isn't a substitute for meditation, but still benefits me and motivates me. I like dharmaseed.org for their library of teacher talks. |
![]() sanityseeker
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#32
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Awesome Melissa! We are all getting a return on our investment of time for ourselves. It encourages me to keep going.
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#33
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![]() It's really hard for me to let go of certain expectations. For example, I have the expectation that regular meditation "should" make me feel better in all kinds of ways. This is because I've read a lot of studies which show that regular meditation practice really does change the brain. But if I'm not careful, this expectation I have really gets in the way!!! Thanks also for the link to dharmaseed.org. I will check that out for sure!!
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![]() Peace is every step ~ Thich Nhat Hanh |
![]() lavieenrose
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#34
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That's so great!! (((((((Melissa))))) ![]()
__________________
![]() Peace is every step ~ Thich Nhat Hanh |
#35
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Thanks Lavieenrose for letting us know how it is going for you. I appreciate what you shared about the spiritual materialism and the importance of making no judgement. Thanks for the link. I look forward to checking into it.
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![]() lavieenrose
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#36
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Its great to be able to have you guys to share with and learn from. |
![]() sundog
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#37
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I sooooo agree!!! Thanks so much for starting this thread!! ((((((((sanityseeker)))))))) ![]()
__________________
![]() Peace is every step ~ Thich Nhat Hanh |
#38
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Quote:
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I did have a lovely walk. Thanks. Almost an hour with most of the time walking meditatively. I am sure people thought I was weird because I was walking so slowly to keep my breathing calm. I played around with the pace until I found a breathing rate that worked for me. It was difficult at first because I had a disturbing phone call just before I headed out. I was pretty upset. Normally I would have probably gotten lost in the drama, maybe come here to post about what was happening. I opted instead to not dwell in that place. I dragged my crying stressed out self out the door. I spent some time at a favourite spot on a nearby creek singing from deep in my belly and just observing and taking in everything around me. My eyes were drown to this small bit of moss on a rock in the creek. It has the shape of a face and every time the water rolled over it, its mouth opened up as though it was drinking in the water. It mesmerized me for a while until I had the thought I should drink from the creek myself. It tasted sooooo good and when I looked up at the face it winked at me. I just had to laugh with my new friend. lol. At one point I regretted not bringing my camera because the ice formation were so amazing. I thought about racing home to get it but decided instead to accept and appreciate what was instead of regretting or beating myself up about what wasn't. I further accepted that if I go back tomorrow with my camera it is likely the warm weather will have dissolved those ice sculptures so again I needed to decide that nothing was lost. I acknowledged the gift of what was. Had I brought my camera on the walk with me I may have missed the gifts I did receive. As I walked home, meditatively slow again I focused on the cliffs in front of me. I call them my power rocks because there is so much imagery in them and I am always strengthened by them. They make me feel comforted and protected. When I would catch myself thinking outside the present I would chant along with each step... here... now....here... now and go back to imagining the lotus flower popping up in a row behind me. Quote:
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I've been hearing that voice today too. I started the day later then I had planned and spent more time on my walk then I had planned. I 'failed' to get at some work I had planned to do. That voice is passing judgement on me that makes me feel badly about myself. It goes so far as to suggest I don't have time for all this meditation and mindfullness and being in the present 'stuff'. I had way more important things to do and worry about right now. The longer I let it talk the more distressing my situation feels and the more distressed I become. I don't want those feelings and I don't want to listen to that voice so like you I give myself an out by committing to make up for my failures. I make new promises to myself to make myself feel better in that moment. Fine if I am able to fulfill the commitment but if I don't for one reason or another then it just adds insult to injury. The need to place blame, with me being the easiest target, supersedes all else. It may be a better strategy to accept simply that things didn't go as plan. What matters more is being okay with what was so you can focus solely on what is. The quiet time in the sunshine is allowed to be its own experience and not a pay back for something you failed at. I may just be cutting hairs here because yes, sometimes we do have to re-schedule or substitute or make up for something missed. Its the judgement and pressure of putting importance on things that don't really matter that I think is when it becomes kind of toxic. Just thinking out load here. |
![]() lavieenrose, sundog
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#39
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What a beautiful and insightful post! I read it a couple of times! Thanks so much for all that you share here. Your description of your meditative walk and time at the creek - complete with making a new friend! - is wonderful. I love how you were able to immerse yourself in the moment, and even when you started thinking that you "should" have brought your camera with you, you quickly caught yourself and went right back to appreciating the experience you were having. I loved reading this! I can really feel how powerful the walking meditation is for you!
That berating self-talk...............Ah. I know it so well.......This is one of my biggest challenges: learning how to let go of the judgments...... My mind is my own worst enemy a lot of the time (yet another judgment!!!) I get so very caught up in my thoughts and my thinking. I read a quote the other day by Eckhart Tolle which spoke to me: Quote:
On that note........It's time for my evening session! ![]()
__________________
![]() Peace is every step ~ Thich Nhat Hanh |
#40
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Hi, I'm new here to the forums. I bought the MBSR workbook. I've been doing some of the meditations, and have been meditating for a couple of months mostly with Insight or mindfulness (vipassana) meditations. While I don't want to commit to doing anything for a specific period of time, I would like to be able to check in with everyone about how our practices are going. By the way, I think the meditation is helping my OCD!
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![]() sundog
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#41
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Welcome to PC Loving Kindness. Its great to have you join us here. That's great news about how meditation is helping your OCD.
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#42
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Good morning. Short sit last night and again this morning. I have a pdoc appointment this afternoon so I expect I will be leaning on meditation a lot today.
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#43
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Welcome! (((((((Loving Kindness))))))) It's great to meet you!
Good luck with your pdoc appointment ((((((((sanityseeker))))))) I had a short session last night before bed and a longer session this morning. Definitely, the more I practice, the better! ![]()
__________________
![]() Peace is every step ~ Thich Nhat Hanh |
#44
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I feel like I am forcing it right now. It is a bit of a struggle to give it the time. To make it routine enough for it not to feel like it is taking time from something else I would rather be doing at the moment. Perhaps it is indicitive of all the more need to do it. To force myself to slow it all down if only for 10 or 15 minutes at a time. I am grateful for the thread because it gives me that extra imputuous to do it. Otherwise I would likely have quit already. Short attention span here.
I had a rather stressful pdoc appointment yesterday and if not for taking the time to at least relax my breathing with a few minutes of mindlessness I would have fallen victim to those overwhelmed feelings of anger and hopelessness that built up over the hour. Today is a recovery day of self care and kindness. It is the exact opposite of what I 'feel' like doing but I will do it because I need to. I am heading out soon for a walk in the rain to escape my brain for a while. Be well. Let it be. |
#45
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((((((((((((((sanityseeker)))))))))))))))) I'm really sorry you had a stressful pdoc appointment. I'm glad you were able to help yourself by relaxing your breathing.
I do know what you mean about forcing it. If it feels like that, then I just make the session shorter. I did read somewhere that even one minute a day is better than nothing......In fact I am currently trying to do shorter, more frequent meditation "sessions" throughout the day as this is easier for me. I do think that longer sessions are more effective, so I'm hoping I can still work back up to that. Last night and this morning I did 10 minutes each. It's great you're making today a day of recovery and self-care. I hope you have a healing walk ((((((((((((((sanityseeker))))))))))))))) ![]()
__________________
![]() Peace is every step ~ Thich Nhat Hanh |
![]() sanityseeker
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#46
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(((((Sundog))))), (((((Sanityseeker))))), and welcome LovingKindness,
It IS challenging sometimes to suspend the voice of judgment when we don't meet our expectations. Sometimes, when I'm really struggling, I have to pare down my plans for the day, make it really basic and simple. I can really heap it on, and then feeling stressed by the "to do" list, I avoid it. And it's hard to sit and be still, especially with the crud that passes through my mind. Sometimes, Stephen Levine's words come to me, "Have mercy" (toward ourselves). I've been doing the briefest of meditation the past 2 days, under 10 minutes. This morning, I was able to sit for 15, although it was interrupted by sips of coffee, and once fetching dog toys from under the sofa I sat on (Sherman has me well trained), but I sipped and fetched mindfully ![]() When my mind is too jumpy to just focus on breathing as the anchor, I've used "metta" or lovingkindness meditation. It's a series of wishes for oneself and then others, said in a specific order. I could go into more detail if anyone's interested. Or I'm sure that googling metta or lovingkindness meditation instructions would give a lot of hits. It's great for opening the heart. ![]() |
![]() sanityseeker, sundog
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#47
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Thanks so much for this (((((((((((lavie))))))))))))
![]() I love the loving kindness meditations too (from what I remember). I'd also love it if you wouldn't mind writing them here (if it's not too much trouble!) Thanks so much ((((((lavie))))))) Peace and blessings to all!! ![]()
__________________
![]() Peace is every step ~ Thich Nhat Hanh |
#48
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Thank you Sun and Lavie. I am beginning to see there are many different ways to apply the principals of meditation. My primary experience has been to open and close my quiet times of prayer and thanksgiving. Waiting upon Creator to speak to me I would sit in silence embraced by pure love and acceptance. I have read a few books about meditation from an eastern perspective but only snippets have stuck with me.
It was a challenging day of heightened emotions that have left me quiet tired from the constancy. While busying myself with a few hours of easy office chores I remained relax and unbothered by the 'crud that passes through my mind.' I had to go to town to do some banking, pay my auto insurance and post some letters. I was fine making small talk and seeming cheerful with folks one minute then overcome by uncontrolable tears and the urge to scream in agony the next. Each time I would find that 'anchor' to ease the pressure. Usually my beath but sometimes the trees or clouds or the feel of the rain on my face as I made my way back to my truck. I returned home still battling and before I could talk myself out of it I heading out for my walk. I thought I might just walk to the mailbox so I could check it off my to do list. Once I started I just kept on going and going until an hour had passed and I was soaked to the bone. It felt so refreshing and healing to have the rain showering down on my face as I gazed upon the images in the clouds. The strain from the emotional sea-saw would ease while deliberately being mindful but would creep back the moment there was a lapse. I enjoyed a hot shower after peeling off my wet clothes and now that I am safely tucked away in my sanctuary I am feeling more relaxed. I have to call my dad today to give him an update on my appointment yesterday. I hope I can keep it together long enough to get through the call with out breaking down. I don't like to cause him worry. I am keen Lavie to learn more about 'metta'. It sounds very much like structured prayer. Is that a fair observation? I will google it but I would still be interested in anything you would like to share. Sorry for the long accounting of my day. I appreciate you listening just the same. I do acknowledge the gift of mindfullness and its ability to give me respites, all be them short, from the chaos of my emotions otherwise tossing me to and fro. I am especially liking the meditative walking. Especially indoors. It is doing wonders to slow me down. No more racing from chore to chore but rather moving peacefully and calmly from place to place. Present in the moment rather then thinking about what I need to do next. I am hoping to make it an early night tonight and am actually looking forward to a sit down meditation before attempting to sleep. |
![]() lavieenrose, sundog
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#49
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((((((Sundog))))))
I love my stone buddha too. My dog Joey sits beside it in my dog album. "Metta" is a Pali word for lovingkindness. Pali is an ancient Sanskrit language from the Buddha's time. The well wishes are (beginning with oneself): May I be happy and peaceful, May I be healthy, May I be free of harm and suffering, May I have ease of well-being. There are more (May I be liberated, etc., but you usually say four of them). The first time, it is said for oneself. The second time, think of a teacher or benefactor in your life. It can be someone you know or knew, or just someone who inspires you, and say, "(name), may you be happy and peaceful. May you be healthy...etc. The third time, say the phrases for someone who is a friend or who you have warm feelings for. "(name), may you be happy and peaceful. May you be healthy...etc. The fourth time, say them for someone you feel neutral toward. (I use the postmistress at the local post office). The fifth time, say the phrases for someone who is difficult or challenging in your life. This has helped to ease my resentment toward someone, and feel more forgiveness. The sixth time through to the end, it widens into larger and larger circles, for example: May all neighbors be happy and peaceful...May all beings in (Massachusetts) (substitute your state or region) be happy...May all beings in the U.S....May all beings in the western hemisphere...May all beings on earth...and finally, May all beings everywhere be happy and peaceful...be healthy...be safe from inner and outer harm and suffering, etc. The phrasing isn't written in stone. Substitute your own, if you like. These are some of the traditional ones. The same with the widening circles. You can expand the circles in any way you like. These are just examples. If any of this is confusing, just let me know. ![]() |
![]() Gus1234U, sundog
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#50
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((((((SanitySeeker))))))
You must have been composing while I was doing the same. I'm sorry that you've had such a tumultuous day, but I'm glad for whatever moments of peace you experienced. There ARE a lot of ways to practice meditation. Metta can be similar to structured prayer, but you're sending well wishes to individuals and all beings. In any category, it can include someone who's deceased. In the category of benefactor or teacher, it can include someone from history, or someone like the Dalai Lama, or Mother Theresa, etc. Whoever inspires you. Metta, everybody!! ![]() |
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