Meditation anyone? 30 minutes a day for 8 weeks... you in?

Me too Lavie. I was doing some office work the last couple of days and had them on a split screen. Turned the volume on so their flapping wings would get me to look. I thought for sure they were going to take flight yesterday but they are still there sitting on the top of the nest.

I will decide that we will come together on Wednesday April 6 at 2pm PST and 5pm EST (per Sun's request... assuming that is still a good time for you Lavie) and Sun is going to surprise us with a guided meditation sometime before the appointed hour.

I really should have said.... there ARE times when my symptoms prevent me from engaging with my neighbours. It depends on my mood a lot (I don't know your dx but mine is bipolar with social anxiety and some other tag ons depending on which pdoc I am listening to) and the state of being, the level of anxiety when I am in the garden. Sometimes I am extremely hypersensitive to the sounds around me. I can easily be startled and will avoid the road side beds and opt to work as far away from there as possible to avoid being st

(((((((((lavie))))))))))) I'm really sorry about your experience at the music night. I totally know how that feels when the bottom drops out of our confidence and we just want to crawl under a rock.

I feel bad today. I came upon a distressing situation yesterday with a dog. For obvious reasons I won't go into details here. I tried to do what I could, but I have no idea of the outcome. I've been trying to find out some further information about the fate of this dog today, but I haven't been able to discover anything. I feel very sad and low. I've also hurt my back, which isn't helping!

Somehow, last night I managed to download a virus to my laptop! I'm at work now on a different computer and I think I've been able to do a temporary fix on the virus on my laptop, so that's something at least.

I do have a Guided Meditation for Wednesday, but I have no idea how to get it to you since it's not on YouTube. There are these file-sharing websites, but given that I just had a virus on my laptop, I would hate to risk your computers by suggesting that you download something from a file-sharing site.

The only thing I can think of is that I could email you guys an mp3 file. I don't think I can send it to you here on PC. It would have to be your personal email. I think I could do that (but I'll understand if you don't want to give me that info).

Gosh, sorry to make such heavy weather of this Thanks for your patience!

PS: The time is fine ((((((ss))))))) Thank you

((((((Sun)))))) I am so sorry you are feeling badly today. I can just imagine how destressed you are about the dog. I hope you hear good news soon and the back pain subsides. Do you tend to hold stress in your back? That can't make things any better either. My thoughts and prayers are with you my friend.

My office computer seems to be down with a virus today too. Even though I have no idea how I am going to pay him I took it to my techi in hopes he can find the cure. It is so frustrating when things like that happen. For me I have tons of files that are not backed up. I tell myself I need to do it then fail to carry it through.

I will PM my email to you so hopefully that will work.

I pray your worries and sadness are lifted soon. Be well.

Geesh.... half of my post is gone. What's up with that! I will try again to pull up the last of it.

The stress of anxiety is often influence by my mood which effects the levels of anxiety. If I am stable or somewhat hypomanic then I can be pretty engaging with people. If I am depressed or just generally anxious then I will pull back.

I have noticed some improvement since we started this journey. I am generally more mindful of how I am feeling; how the anxiety is reacting in a particular situation. It is interesting to me how the focused breathing is becoming somewhat automatic. It will sometimes click in on its own when the anxiety starts to climb. I will notice it happening in the middle of taking a deep breath without having self determined to do it. I am grateful for that because sometimes when the anxiety really has a hold on me the thought of breathing through it just feels like more work. I will get even more upset and sometimes really angry by the situation becaus it seems like everything is always about doing the 'work'. arrgg!!

Mine is not so much shyness as feeling conspicuous with my behaviours when I am feeling very anxious around people. Perhaps that is a form of shyness afterall. I don't do parties or gatherings much. I find them too over stimulating and really uncomfortable for me. Special occassion with family is about all I manage to do when the anxiety is hyperactive. I tend to cancel out more often than not. I can go from being the centre of conversation to the frightened little mouse in the corner in a matter of a couple of hours of engagement. If I do go to a gather I usually leave early. I will try to stick it out by taking a few unnoticed retreats to quieter spaces where I can regroup a little. I will usually head outside to walk around and focus on breathing and just being present in the moment. If there is a garden nearby that is my natural place to go. I usually will return more leveled out and able again to engage. It comes back to the concept of showing myself kindness. To not judging myself or increasing the anxiety by being frustrated or angry about my current reality.

I am really sorry you had a difficult time at the party with your friends. I can relate to the total brain freeze and that is usually when I will take a brake away from the group or say my goodnights early. Sometimes that seems too obvious so I will tough it out and pay for it later when I am alone and the supressed anxiety explodes into a meltdown.

It doesn't sound as though retreating was much of an option last night so I can appreciate how hard the time was for you. But you went Lavie. That is something to credit yourself for doing. That is not so very insignificant in the grander scheme of things. I think when we are the only ones in the room dealing with high anxiety it makes it that much tougher to cope. We just feel so isolated from the 'normals'. I often wish I could transport my friends here into my real world just so I could socialize with people who get me. I image life would be much less stressful if that were possible. Mental illness is a very lonely illness.

I wish I knew the secret to healing Lavie. As far as I can figure it is about being kind and patient with oneself. Small comfort when little to no change seems to happen. When it seems to alway be about working through it time and time again. I do believe it will get better so I hang my hat on that and just keep doing my part to get to that end. My ex says I am getting worse so I don't know if it will ever turn around but I have to believe it will or I just know I will totally isolate myself and believe it is all hopeless and not worth any effort to try to get better.

I think we need to be careful to avoid defining ourselves by the challenges we face. I think there is a fine line between accepting our 'disabilities' as a reality in the present and accepting it as a reality for the rest of our days. Otherwise we become lost to hopelessness and I just refuse to believe you or I or the others walking in our shoes are hopeless.

I know like me you have been dealing with this for many many years. It can feel like hanging on to the threads of hope is delusional thinking. But the alternative just isn't acceptable. People do find healing or at least they find ways to manage effectively enough to live 'normal' lives. The same just has to be possible for us too.

I think what we are doing by committing ourselves to meditation and practicing the mindset meditation can bring is a step in the right direction. I believe those sensations and thoughts that we feel during and after meditation can be transfered into our day to day more and more as well stay on the path. Just as the relaxation breathing is become more and more automatic for me I think the same can be said about a meditative state become more sustainable.

There is a quote in the Bible that says, 'pray without ceasing'. It is not about always being in a 'formal' praying situation but it is an attitude of prayer that maintains a sense of connection with powers outside of ourselves. It is empowering and calming to walk in a prayerful state. I think meditation is just another interpretation of that teaching. Its a state of being more then a conscious exercise.

Well this is what you get when I loose a portion of a post. I think it was no more then another paragraph lost but here I go again making a novella from one thought flooding over after another. I am sorry about that. I know it can be taxing on people to try to actually get to the end of my rambling thoughts. I blame it all on the bipolar. Oh... sometimes it is nice to have bi polar to take the blame for things. lol.

I wish you well Lavie. It was one difficult experience and while it can be haunting and discouraging it need not determine your future. There are better days ahead. I just know it must be so. Our lives have value and meaning and our 'afflictions' are part of the package. We will overcome and we will be stronger, more aware, more compassionate, more kind because of it. One day at a time in hope and beauty.

Walk in beauty, walk in peace.

You're so kind Thanks so much (((((((((ss)))))))))) Yes, I do hold stress in my back. Thanks for your kindness and support

I'm really sorry you have computer problems today too. Ugh!!! That sucks. I hope you can get it fixed via your techie friend!

yea me too Sun. I need my computer. I was right in the middle of something I need to finish asap so hopefully he will be able to fix the poor baby. It is due to be replaced but I haven't the cash to spare right now. I still have my trusty busted up little laptop but it can't do the work I am doing on the other one so patience is the order of the day.

Hope you are feeling better and have some huggy lovey time with your 4 legged kids.

((((((Sundog)))))))) I just sent a PM, couldn't wait to say here how sorry I am that so many stressors have bombarded you. As you know, I share that dog-related trigger. I so hope that there's a happy ending to that story, and also hope for happiness for you, even moments at a time.

((((((SS))))))) Thank you so much for that last post. It was so beautiful and it really moved me. Far too often, I have let myself be defined by my emotional problems, losing sight of the other parts of myself that I value, and (Oh, Phoebe's feeding the kids; I shouldn't have 2 screens up, too cute)...where was I? Did I mention I have ADD? Oh yeah, not overidentifying with diagnoses .

I appreciate hearing about your experiences and strategies concerning social anxiety. I know the problem of compounding it with chastising myself for having the problem. I did try to apply some kindness and compassion once I was back home. You spoke to my feelings and thoughts exactly, about being among "normal" people who are free to just live their lives, and the loneliness of mental illness. I also have wished that I could have PC friends here in my community, people who are safe and know the terrain.

And about more consistent "prayer"/meditation, the benefit of it as well as the times of resentment of having more "work" that I have to do in order to try to feel better. When I had a regular meditation practice, I would also remember my breath more and to be present for more moments. I've used the distraction of the "musical ear syndrome" and mental foggyness as excuses to not meditate.

And hope. Yes, hope. Losing hope has made my mental state so much worse. It is vital to re-engage a sense of hope, which especially began flagging in the past few years. Whether it improves or not, one needs hope. Thanks again.

Thank you so much Lavie. I am so glad my post recinated truth for you.

I too cope with symptoms of ADD. It can be quiet distracting sometimes. I go from on task to another and it can be frustrating when things get delayed or left unfinished. So many of the symptoms seem to get in the way and require on going attention. My son shows symptoms as well so I am hoping to help him learn to manage they effects and see some of the advantages it can bring with it. I don't think it isn't all bad.

On the subject of labeling I was inspired to start a thread about it. Here is the link if you are interested in taking a look and maybe posting a comment if you feel like it.

http://forums.psychcentral.com/showt...93#post1790493

I hope we all have a good night tonight and find a place of calming and loving meditation. I am up for that! Take good care.

I've spent the past couple of hours researching how to send mp3 files via email and it involves something complicated called "reducing the bitrate" (because mp3 files are huge and traditional compression doesn't do much good).

In other words, I can't send you this file as an email attachment in it's current form because it exceeds the email attachment limit. So I need to find out how to reduce it's size. I'm glad to be learning more about this and I truly appreciate the opportunity that this planned meditation on Wednesday gives me. However, I may yet have to burn a CD and send it via snail mail!!!!!!

Peace to all

I think I've actually figured out how to do this!!!!!!!!! Yeehaw!! I won't know for sure until I get home this evening, but I'm pretty sure I'm now going to be able to email both you guys a reduced bitrate mp3 version of the Guided Meditation I chose for tomorrow!! I'd better not get too excited until I've proved to myself I can do this at home later, but it's looking promising!!!

(((((((ss)))))))) When you have a sec, can you PM me your email address? Thanks so much! I'll check back in later to confirm!!

((((((Sundog))))))), Yahoo indeed!! That's quite an accomplishment, and I'm duly awed. I'm as tech-challenged as they come.

I just emailed both your guys!!!! I really hope you're able to download and open the file ok!!

I got it. I don't have itunes but it opened in windows media player. Thanks for your hard work to make this happen for us. I am really looking forward to our session tomorrow. 5pm PST 8pm EST.

I am heading off for a short meditation and then to bed. It has been a long day.

I'm looking forward to it too! I hope lavie has been able to open the whole file.

Have a good walk ((((((((((ss))))))))))))))

boo hoo... I am going to be late. My son got a call for a job interviews and wouldn't you know it.... 5pm. I will plug in when I get home but miss the same time. bummer!

Don't worry ((((((((SS))))))))))))) We can easily change the time. Or even do it tomorrow. It's nice to think of us all doing it together. So let's wait until you can do it with us?

Would earlier be better for you?? Or how about tomorrow?

Love to you and lavie

Earlier or later by an hour if it works for you and Lavie. I really would like to do it today instead of moving it to tomorrow if it can work.

Okay... I am using my psychic powers to call Lavie to the boards so we can see what she prefers.

How about if we move it forward by a couple of hours. Then I can do it on my lunchtime walk. Would 2.30 or 3.00 suit you?? (That would be 5.30 or 6.00 Eastern??)

Love this photo I came upon and wanted to share it here with you guys

SS, Your psychic powers worked well. Here I am. I don't have Itunes either, but last night the file wouldn't open in Windows Media Center. The file downloaded as a part file. I'll see if it all arrived by now. Be right back.

Great photo, Sundog.

YAY!! Success. The file must have finished downloading last night and opened in Windows Media. I'm good to go. At what time am I good to go?

Hi (((((((lavie)))))))

Maybe it would work if you did download iTunes? It's free to download and it's quite a useful thing to have?? I hope it works!

Cool!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yay!!!!!

Now, what time works for you guys? Would 2.30/5.30 be a possibility??

Oh yeah, what time I prefer...any time from now through the evening works for me. I have a date for some ball flinging or a walk with the dogman in my life, but that's flexible. He's good that way.