Since I'm new here I'll explain a little about my situation. I've always been celibate and without some sort of sex therapy (if that's even still around) I'm pretty sure I'll always be celibate. Some other important things to note: I'm not doing this for religious reasons, I don't have any physical sexual disfunction (I get aroused and orgasm way to easily to be honest), and I don't think there's any problem with trauma (although someone did mess with me and made me touch them and stuff) but compared to what has happened to anyone else, it barely registers as "sexual assault". I just honestly think that sex and sexual thoughts are wrong. It's hard to explain, but just for some perspective...I feel a lot better about having homicidal thoughts than I do sexual ones.

But with all that in mind, I have some questions if anyone can answer:
How do you mentally go about being permanently celibate? I mean, I constantly think about sex/relationships etc...
How can you ever be emotionally intimate with someone if you're never in a relationship?
Is there a way to stop the need to masturbate too? Is it even ok to do that? I mean, it gets painful at times if I keep avoiding it. But it usually makes my sex drive higher rather than lower.
Are there any ways to actually lower your sex drive?
How do you avoid seeing other couples, or sex-related things on TV without staying in your room your whole life. (Note that seeing people kiss disturbs me...although I do admittedly watch porn and it bothers me in a completely different way).
What do you tell people when they ask you why you don't date and why no one likes you enough to ask you on a date?
Does it get easier or harder as you get older realizing you'll never have sex? Never be touched? Never be kissed (well again anyway, I kissed someone 9 years ago)? Never be married? Never love anyone or be loved?

I'm just wondering if anybody has experience with being celibate and how you cope with it.

I can't figure out how to edit a post, so I'll just reply...it's not like I have no sexual desire (even though my sex drive gets lower and lower the older I get), I even fantasize about having sex, but to imagine doing it for real makes me want to puke. That and I want to have emotional intimacy so I need to want to have sex or I'm going to be very miserable. And/or the other person involved will be.

Is there any therapy for this or is it good that my sex drive is disappearing (so eventually I won't care at all if I'm completely celibate).

[kindachaotic]

I'm a bit confused. Don't understand why you are opposed to sex, sexual thoughts, relationship or not?
So don't really know how to answer.
Pretty sure there are still sex therapist around, google it.
Other thing is to consider seeing a therapist for any underling issues you may not realize are influencing your thoughts & decisions.
Wish you the best.

I don't know why I'm so opposed to it either, that's why I'm confused. I've tried talk therapy, but it's always made me feel worse, not better. I thought sex therapists were under the radar and mostly on the coasts because some people think it's a step away from prostitution.

[kindachaotic]

Don't know how old you are but one can go thru several therapist before finding the right fit.
So, don't give up. No need to suffer obsessing about this.
BTW sex therapist, the legit one's, don't touch you & you both keep your clothes on!! It's talk therapy.

Some T's delve back into your childhood or start there to help you.
Some T's help you learn coping skills to deal with current issues.
Just depends on what they feel your need is based on what you tell them.

Sex, under the right circumstances, is a natural, wonderful experience.
Hope you find a T you can relate to & keep posting.
Take care.

[kindachaotic]

Meant to mention, about therapy, sometimes you have to deal with things that do make you feel worse or uncomfortable as you work thru issues.
It's the "learning how to process these issues" that's real work but will help you understand why you feel a certain way. Then make changes or learn coping skills or both. Also therapy is not a quick fix, it takes time.

[costello]

Originally Posted by I.Am.The.End.

How do you mentally go about being permanently celibate? I mean, I constantly think about sex/relationships etc...

Hi, I.Am.The.End. The title on this thread caught my eye, because I've been celibate for years. I suspect, though, that I have some kind of hormonal problem, because I seldom even think about sex. It sounds like you're interested in an intimate relationship.

I think you're asking the wrong question. Instead of asking, 'How can I adjust to a lifetime of depriving myself?', see if you can figure out why you find sex so disgusting and disturbing. I agree with kindachaotic. You can find a therapist to work with this on.

How can you ever be emotionally intimate with someone if you're never in a relationship?

I'm not sure what you mean by 'emotionally intimate.' I have lots of people I care about deeply, but I don't have sex with them. I'm not in a relationship, though. If you want a partner or spouse, I suppose it's possible to find someone who either shares your aversion to sex or is physically incapable of performing. Narrows the field of prospects a lot, though.

Is there a way to stop the need to masturbate too? Is it even ok to do that? I mean, it gets painful at times if I keep avoiding it. But it usually makes my sex drive higher rather than lower.

I don't think there's anything wrong with masturbation. I've never understood why people objected to it.

Are there any ways to actually lower your sex drive?

I don't know.

How do you avoid seeing other couples, or sex-related things on TV without staying in your room your whole life.

That may not be possible. I actually think it's very sweet when I see couples holding hands and walking together. The fact that you find it disturbing maybe indicates you'd like to be part of such a couple but you fear you never will be?

What do you tell people when they ask you why you don't date and why no one likes you enough to ask you on a date?

No one has ever asked me why I don't date or why people don't like me enough to date me. Sounds like your friends are rude and nosy.

Does it get easier or harder as you get older realizing you'll never have sex? Never be touched? Never be kissed (well again anyway, I kissed someone 9 years ago)? Never be married? Never love anyone or be loved?

Well, I can't say I've never had sex, so I can't answer the first question. As to being kissed, touched, married, and loved/loving: you can do all that stuff without having sex.

I'm just wondering if anybody has experience with being celibate and how you cope with it.

Well, as I said, I don't feel like I'm 'coping' so much as I'm just being myself. It sounds like you'd actually like a full intimate relationship, though. I think you should gather your courage and see if you can work through whatever is standing between you and what you want. This is just too important.

Originally Posted by costello

Hi, I.Am.The.End. The title on this thread caught my eye, because I've been celibate for years. I suspect, though, that I have some kind of hormonal problem, because I seldom even think about sex. It sounds like you're interested in an intimate relationship.

I always have been, but I'm always rejected before even the first date. I was never worth a chance. Everyone found me disgusting unless they were drunk.

Originally Posted by costello

I think you're asking the wrong question. Instead of asking, 'How can I adjust to a lifetime of depriving myself?', see if you can figure out why you find sex so disgusting and disturbing. I agree with kindachaotic. You can find a therapist to work with this on.

Talk therapy really doesn't work. I don't want to talk about it. I've always gotten over things by doing, not talking. Besides, whatever I say will be met with a "Is that all?" Even if they don't say it out loud, they're thinking it.

Originally Posted by costello

I'm not sure what you mean by 'emotionally intimate.' I have lots of people I care about deeply, but I don't have sex with them. I'm not in a relationship, though. If you want a partner or spouse, I suppose it's possible to find someone who either shares your aversion to sex or is physically incapable of performing. Narrows the field of prospects a lot, though.

All I meant was someone close enough to share feelings/thoughts with. I just don't imagine anyone would put up with that from me unless they were getting something in return (i.e. sex).

Originally Posted by costello

I don't think there's anything wrong with masturbation. I've never understood why people objected to it.

I don't know. It just makes me feel like a worse person. Or weak. Or afterwards I'm more upset that I'm alone.

Originally Posted by costello

That may not be possible. I actually think it's very sweet when I see couples holding hands and walking together. The fact that you find it disturbing maybe indicates you'd like to be part of such a couple but you fear you never will be?

I've always had a negative reaction to that. It's just so rude, like they're just rubbing it into the faces of people who'll always be alone. And yes, to answer your question, yes I few I will never be in a relationship, let alone a non-abusive, functional one.

Originally Posted by costello

No one has ever asked me why I don't date or why people don't like me enough to date me. Sounds like your friends are rude and nosy.

Well, it's only really a couple of people who ask, but I fear more people will ask in the future.

Originally Posted by costello

Well, I can't say I've never had sex, so I can't answer the first question. As to being kissed, touched, married, and loved/loving: you can do all that stuff without having sex.

But I seem to find all the physical stuff disgusting. It's the only way to cope with being single for me.

Originally Posted by costello

Well, as I said, I don't feel like I'm 'coping' so much as I'm just being myself. It sounds like you'd actually like a full intimate relationship, though. I think you should gather your courage and see if you can work through whatever is standing between you and what you want. This is just too important.

I really don't see how. No one is going to want to deal with me now in a relationship. Even if I somehow got over things, it would never happen. They would be put off by what I look like and/or my personality.

Originally Posted by kindachaotic

Don't know how old you are but one can go thru several therapist before finding the right fit.
So, don't give up. No need to suffer obsessing about this.
BTW sex therapist, the legit one's, don't touch you & you both keep your clothes on!! It's talk therapy.

Some T's delve back into your childhood or start there to help you.
Some T's help you learn coping skills to deal with current issues.
Just depends on what they feel your need is based on what you tell them.

Sex, under the right circumstances, is a natural, wonderful experience.
Hope you find a T you can relate to & keep posting.
Take care.

Originally Posted by kindachaotic

Meant to mention, about therapy, sometimes you have to deal with things that do make you feel worse or uncomfortable as you work thru issues.
It's the "learning how to process these issues" that's real work but will help you understand why you feel a certain way. Then make changes or learn coping skills or both. Also therapy is not a quick fix, it takes time.

I'm 24...I suppose that information would be important. I've tried therapy...I've gone through several therapists. Stayed with one for a couple years. I've never made progress. I literally can't talk about these things to people I don't know. I have to be able to fully trust them first and they're really impatient or won't let me switch to someone else once the trust is broken and I'm uncomfortable around them.

And how does talk therapy help with something that's physical? I get over things by doing. I figured those sorts of therapists weren't really around anymore.

[costello]

Originally Posted by I.Am.The.End.

I always have been, but I'm always rejected before even the first date. I was never worth a chance. Everyone found me disgusting unless they were drunk.

It probably seems that way to you, but it's not true. All kinds of people find relationships. It would help if you weren't so down on yourself.

Talk therapy really doesn't work. I don't want to talk about it. I've always gotten over things by doing, not talking. Besides, whatever I say will be met with a "Is that all?" Even if they don't say it out loud, they're thinking it.

Talking is doing. And then presumably the outcome of the talking/thinking/planning/analyzing/etc. is some action you can take outside of therapy.

All I meant was someone close enough to share feelings/thoughts with. I just don't imagine anyone would put up with that from me unless they were getting something in return (i.e. sex).

What do you mean 'put up with'? If you're friends, it's give and take, right? They listen to you; you listen to them.

I don't know. It just makes me feel like a worse person. Or weak. Or afterwards I'm more upset that I'm alone.

A lot of people probably feel that way. They've been taught it's wrong. I personally don't agree. That probably doesn't help much, though?

I think a sex drive is like the need for food or air or water or companionship. You can control when and what you eat, but you don't stop eating altogether. You can train yourself to hold your breath for longer, but you'll never be able to stop breathing completely. We have drives and appetites that we have to control in certain ways if we're going to get along in polite company. But having the drive is neither good nor bad. And finding an appropriate way of taking care of it doesn't make you a bad person.

I've always had a negative reaction to that. It's just so rude, like they're just rubbing it into the faces of people who'll always be alone.

I doubt they're hoping to rub it in anyone's face.

And yes, to answer your question, yes I few I will never be in a relationship, let alone a non-abusive, functional one.

You might be if you want to be.

Well, it's only really a couple of people who ask, but I fear more people will ask in the future.

What did you tell them?

But I seem to find all the physical stuff disgusting. It's the only way to cope with being single for me.

Which physical stuff? Masturbation?

I really don't see how. No one is going to want to deal with me now in a relationship. Even if I somehow got over things, it would never happen. They would be put off by what I look like and/or my personality.

Well, look around you. Are all the people in relationships good looking and personable? My mom was 30 when she got married. And my dad was almost 33. She told me once that she complained to her mother because all of her friends were getting married and she wasn't. Her mom asked her if she'd want any of the guys her friends were marrying. She thought about it and realized she wouldn't.

There are a lot of ugly people in loving relationships. And unpleasant people. And humorless people. And stupid people. And lazy people.

You don't have to be perfect to find love. Somewhere in this big world is someone for you.

It sounds like you actually have two problems: sex seems disgusting to you and your self-esteem is low.

[Thor_Odinson]

Are there any ways to actually lower your sex drive?

Get married. It worked for my wife! LOL Sorry... I had to say it.

I'm confused as to why you are disgusted by the idea of sex yet watch porn. There seems to be a big disconnect with that.

If you masturbate and watch porn, what exactly is it about the idea of sex that bothers you? Is it the act of having sex with another person? Perhaps it's not an issue with sex but with intimacy, romantic intimacy in particular.

I'm not a therapist, but I'd say a good, reputable therapist is what you need.

Originally Posted by costello

It probably seems that way to you, but it's not true. All kinds of people find relationships. It would help if you weren't so down on yourself.

Then I really don't understand why this is happening to me? I mean if everyone else is "lovable" I must be particularly horrible. But anyone that I've gotten close to has had to put up with me. They don't like the real me.

[/QUOTE]
Talking is doing. And then presumably the outcome of the talking/thinking/planning/analyzing/etc. is some action you can take outside of therapy.
[/QUOTE]

I meant doing as in engaging in physical activities such as kissing etc. Talking isn't going to help it happen...I don't really understand how it would. I used to be terrified of driving. I didn't get over that by talking about it. I got over it by someone strongly encouraging me to do it and tons of experience before I became essentially fearless.

[/QUOTE]
What do you mean 'put up with'? If you're friends, it's give and take, right? They listen to you; you listen to them.[/QUOTE]

No, even if I offer, they don't take. So all they did was give. And because of that I stopped talking to people as I was tired of hearing that someone wanted to punch me in the face for example. I'm just not friendship material, even when I try. So I don't bother talking to anyone about anything personal.

[/QUOTE]
A lot of people probably feel that way. They've been taught it's wrong. I personally don't agree. That probably doesn't help much, though?
[/QUOTE]

I was never taught it was wrong...just from my earliest formation of "sexual" thought I knew it was wrong. And sex ed made me feel bad about masturbation. I don't remember why though. I think because I didn't understand what I was doing or why it felt the way it did until someone explained it.

[/QUOTE]
I think a sex drive is like the need for food or air or water or companionship. You can control when and what you eat, but you don't stop eating altogether. You can train yourself to hold your breath for longer, but you'll never be able to stop breathing completely. We have drives and appetites that we have to control in certain ways if we're going to get along in polite company. But having the drive is neither good nor bad. And finding an appropriate way of taking care of it doesn't make you a bad person.
[/QUOTE]

I guess I just don't know what really is truly "appropriate". It all seems highly inappropriate.

[/QUOTE]
I doubt they're hoping to rub it in anyone's face.
[/QUOTE]

Probably not, but it sure feels that way.

[/QUOTE]
You might be if you want to be.
[/QUOTE]

Wanting it doesn't make it happen. Things that I can control by myself, yes. But this involves another person and I can't do anything to control what they do, know matter how much I want to.

[/QUOTE]
What did you tell them?
[/QUOTE]

Either that I don't like guys or they don't like me. Which is pretty much true.

[/QUOTE]
Which physical stuff? Masturbation?
[/QUOTE]

No, sex with another person. Pretty much any aspect of that.

[/QUOTE]
Well, look around you. Are all the people in relationships good looking and personable? My mom was 30 when she got married. And my dad was almost 33. She told me once that she complained to her mother because all of her friends were getting married and she wasn't. Her mom asked her if she'd want any of the guys her friends were marrying. She thought about it and realized she wouldn't.

There are a lot of ugly people in loving relationships. And unpleasant people. And humorless people. And stupid people. And lazy people.

You don't have to be perfect to find love. Somewhere in this big world is someone for you.

It sounds like you actually have two problems: sex seems disgusting to you and your self-esteem is low.[/QUOTE]

How do we know if any of these people are happy and/or whether they just married the first person willing to put up with them? That's basically what happened to my parents.

I'm not even sure who I'm supposed to be pursuing. I used to really want to know my sexual orientation, now I don't. Because either way it ends up badly in the end.

[costello]

Originally Posted by I.Am.The.End.

Then I really don't understand why this is happening to me? I mean if everyone else is "lovable" I must be particularly horrible. But anyone that I've gotten close to has had to put up with me. They don't like the real me.

I didn't say everyone else was lovable. I said all kinds of imperfect people find relationships. My boss, for example, has an incredibly unappealing personality (to me). And he's very unattractive (to me). He's underweight with a haggard, gray face, wild hair, a scraggly beard, and one eye that points in the wrong direction. But he has a very nice, intelligent, and reasonably attractive wife. Obviously she sees something in the man that I don't. Just one of many people I know that I personally wouldn't want to be with, but someone else did.

One person's yuck is another person's yum.

I'm just not friendship material, even when I try.

If you liked yourself better, other people would like you better too. You could start by liking yourself.

I was never taught it was wrong...just from my earliest formation of "sexual" thought I knew it was wrong. And sex ed made me feel bad about masturbation. I don't remember why though. I think because I didn't understand what I was doing or why it felt the way it did until someone explained it.

I think you were taught it was wrong. No one just 'knows' sex is wrong. Maybe no one sat you down and instructed you that it was wrong, but someone or something gave you that idea.

Probably not, but it sure feels that way.

I do understand this. I have a 27 year old son diagnosed with schizophrenia. It's very painful to me when coworkers talk about what their children in the same age group are doing - going to school, working, marrying, having children. I wish they wouldn't tell me these things. They're not trying to hurt me or flaunt their good fortune. They're not even thinking about how it affects me at all. They're just sharing what's going on in their lives.

Wanting it doesn't make it happen.

Admitting you want it is a good first step. There are tons of people who never even get that far. Rather than take a risk, they lie to themselves and say they don't want it.

Either that I don't like guys or they don't like me. Which is pretty much true.

Have you considered politely suggesting they mind their own business? I don't believe in being rude if it's possible to say something politely - and it usually is. If you could have a line ready to respond when people ask prying questions, it might be helpful. Can't think of a great line for you to use. I'm actually way too blunt. This is the kind of thing a therapist would be great at, though. A line you could memorize and have ready to respond to nosy parkers.

You have the right to set boundaries. People who ask you why you don't have a sweetheart are stepping over those boundaries - especially as this is a painful area for you. When you set a firm boundary, you let the other person know they need to respect you. And you send a powerful message to your subconscience that you're worthy of respect. That's a first step toward liking yourself better.

How do we know if any of these people are happy and/or whether they just married the first person willing to put up with them? That's basically what happened to my parents.

Relationships don't make people happy. My parents had a good marriage. They were perfect for each other and were married for 33 years - until my dad died. But neither of them were happy. They were both depressives. Finding each other didn't fix that.

I'm not even sure who I'm supposed to be pursuing. I used to really want to know my sexual orientation, now I don't. Because either way it ends up badly in the end.

That's a different question.

I would suggest you start by working on liking yourself.

[yellowted]

i'm 42 and apart from my abusers which stopped at 19 i have not had sex with anyone, even my late partner of 10 years. he respected my feelings and was happy with me as i was that sex did not matter to him either. like you i still get aroused and orgasm but alone, the thought of a mans bare bits going anywhere near me freeks me out. i have to really get to know a man before i even allow a peck om the cheek. i am not interested in girls that way either, just happy with life without sex, so many friends have seperated because of ill matched sex drives or affairs that i am glad to be out of all that.
sex is a personal choice , just like nudism or religion, it is your right to chose and feel however you wish about it, don't let the majority sway your views it is your body after all not theirs.

Originally Posted by costello

I didn't say everyone else was lovable. I said all kinds of imperfect people find relationships. My boss, for example, has an incredibly unappealing personality (to me). And he's very unattractive (to me). He's underweight with a haggard, gray face, wild hair, a scraggly beard, and one eye that points in the wrong direction. But he has a very nice, intelligent, and reasonably attractive wife. Obviously she sees something in the man that I don't. Just one of many people I know that I personally wouldn't want to be with, but someone else did.

One person's yuck is another person's yum.


If you liked yourself better, other people would like you better too. You could start by liking yourself.


I think you were taught it was wrong. No one just 'knows' sex is wrong. Maybe no one sat you down and instructed you that it was wrong, but someone or something gave you that idea.


I do understand this. I have a 27 year old son diagnosed with schizophrenia. It's very painful to me when coworkers talk about what their children in the same age group are doing - going to school, working, marrying, having children. I wish they wouldn't tell me these things. They're not trying to hurt me or flaunt their good fortune. They're not even thinking about how it affects me at all. They're just sharing what's going on in their lives.


Admitting you want it is a good first step. There are tons of people who never even get that far. Rather than take a risk, they lie to themselves and say they don't want it.


Have you considered politely suggesting they mind their own business? I don't believe in being rude if it's possible to say something politely - and it usually is. If you could have a line ready to respond when people ask prying questions, it might be helpful. Can't think of a great line for you to use. I'm actually way too blunt. This is the kind of thing a therapist would be great at, though. A line you could memorize and have ready to respond to nosy parkers.

You have the right to set boundaries. People who ask you why you don't have a sweetheart are stepping over those boundaries - especially as this is a painful area for you. When you set a firm boundary, you let the other person know they need to respect you. And you send a powerful message to your subconscience that you're worthy of respect. That's a first step toward liking yourself better.


Relationships don't make people happy. My parents had a good marriage. They were perfect for each other and were married for 33 years - until my dad died. But neither of them were happy. They were both depressives. Finding each other didn't fix that.


That's a different question.

I would suggest you start by working on liking yourself.

I think I was heavily influenced by those people that carry signs that say God hates F***. I mean, I refuse to align myself with a religion that has anything to do with the Christian God because that's what Christianity will always be to me: something that makes you hate yourself and everyone else. And before someone says that isn't true, I know it isn't to that degree for most Christians. And that's where the discussion ends.

I really have no idea where my boundaries are supposed to be sometimes...there's really only one person who asks repeatedly and he's given up on me ever finding anyone...oh, excuse me, I meant finding a GUY. It's hard to find any guys I'm attracted to at all, let alone one I'm truly physically attracted to.

Originally Posted by yellowted

i'm 42 and apart from my abusers which stopped at 19 i have not had sex with anyone, even my late partner of 10 years. he respected my feelings and was happy with me as i was that sex did not matter to him either. like you i still get aroused and orgasm but alone, the thought of a mans bare bits going anywhere near me freeks me out. i have to really get to know a man before i even allow a peck om the cheek. i am not interested in girls that way either, just happy with life without sex, so many friends have seperated because of ill matched sex drives or affairs that i am glad to be out of all that.
sex is a personal choice , just like nudism or religion, it is your right to chose and feel however you wish about it, don't let the majority sway your views it is your body after all not theirs.

This worries me, as I feel the same way as you do about men, but I've been interested in girls. I can't do anything to test how much though.

And the only person I've ever really gotten close to and knew for a long period of time told me that if I ended up being gay, then I should be celibate. So there you go.

[kindachaotic]

So you're interested in girls...then give it a go. Nothing wrong with testing the waters.
No matter what your friend says. If your soulmate ends up being female be thankful you found each other.

IDK check out some online sites, see how comfortable you are in that setting.
I don't mean porn sites, some of the chat ones. Just be safe.

Take care & keep posting.

[hamster-bamster]

So you want to lower your sex drive AND you are on a mental health website which makes me conclude that you have a mental illness. Well, there are lots of psychiatric medications whose SSE's (sexual side effects) include driving the libido down to zero. Being depressed helps, too (actually, helps a lot). Depression is not something you can will to have, but you can try various psych drugs until you end up with no libido. SSE's are common, it is just that the rest of us here are upset about them and you seem to seek them. I must say it would be a highly unusual motivation behind the desire to try various medications basically in the hope to get a particular side effect, but why not?

And no, there are no orgasms that are too easy - whatever gift you are given in the form of your orgasms is just right for you. But if you truly want longer solo sex you may want to try condoms with an anesthetic which will prolong the time to your climax.

[hamster-bamster]

At 24 it is too early to call any decision permanent.

[costello]

Originally Posted by hamster-bamster

At 24 it is too early to call any decision permanent.

That was pretty much my thought too.

Originally Posted by Thor_Odinson

Get married. It worked for my wife! LOL Sorry... I had to say it.

I'm confused as to why you are disgusted by the idea of sex yet watch porn. There seems to be a big disconnect with that.

If you masturbate and watch porn, what exactly is it about the idea of sex that bothers you? Is it the act of having sex with another person? Perhaps it's not an issue with sex but with intimacy, romantic intimacy in particular.

I'm not a therapist, but I'd say a good, reputable therapist is what you need.

Well, that would mean someone would have to be interested in me enough to marry me, and no one is even for a date. And yes it's really weird...I suppose it means that I'm disgusted by sex with another person. And actually the vast majority of porn does disgust me (I just watch what doesn't, obviously).

If you're by yourself there's no one to be disgusted or turned off by how you look. That's the main difference. And you're not going to get hurt in the process. I also have a hard time imagining someone giving me as good or better pleasure than I can give myself...apparently it happens though.

Originally Posted by kindachaotic

So you're interested in girls...then give it a go. Nothing wrong with testing the waters.
No matter what your friend says. If your soulmate ends up being female be thankful you found each other.

IDK check out some online sites, see how comfortable you are in that setting.
I don't mean porn sites, some of the chat ones. Just be safe.

Take care & keep posting.

I guess it would be fine if that happens. We just can't touch each other. Which would make it beneficial to not want that at all.

[hamster-bamster]

OP, you are complaining that your orgasms come to you too easily. That is a typically male complaint. That is why I concluded that you are not a woman.

[-jimi-]

Asexuals exist. They can have a drive, they can either like to play with themselves or dislike it. They can live alone or in a romantic relationship with another asxual. If you have no "reason" to be sickened by sex, maybe you simply are an asexual. It is not weirder than being bi- or homosexual.

I know that, but I was interested in sex when I was younger. I really would like to be able to have a sexual relationship. I just know that isn't going to happen, so I have to get over that. That's what this about.

I feel like maybe I should delete this thread...

I hope I don't get in trouble for resurrecting a thread, but one year later, I pretty much have the same problems.

I just want to stop thinking about sex every time my mind isn't completely occupied by something else. At this point, I'm pretty much destined to be celibate as medication have (luckily) destroyed my libido. But I don't know why it hasn't stopped me from constantly thinking about it. I can barely type this without those thoughts interfering. And what happens when I go off that medication because anti-depressants can't make me not depressed. I'm depressed because my career is stalled while I wait to go back to school and that I'm obsessed with sex and there's no way to satisfy, even temporarily. An orgasm I give to myself is so completely and meaningless, it might as well have never happen.

[SeekingHelp18]

In my mind, you are doing yourself a HUGE DISSERVICE when you dismiss intimacy. When you say "Never love anyone or be loved", you realize how miserable that is right? I mean sorry if I come off as insensitive, only trying to help you out my friend. In my opinion, a human being needs to feel love to survive. Whether it be from his family, a partner, or himself. The latter being not so good. Don't you wish to have someone to share your thoughts with? To connect with and let in? I think this desire drives a lot of us. I know that I do not want to be alone in this world my whole life, that brings a *******ed tear to my eye just typing it. Love does not equal sex, in my opinion. Marriage is simply an agreement between you, your partner, faith (if this applies), and government. It has nothing to do with love.

Friends can help each other. A true friend is someone who lets you have total freedom to be yourself - and especially to feel. Or, not feel. Whatever you happen to be feeling at the moment is fine with them. That's what real love amounts to - letting a person be what he really is. Jim Morrison