I don't seem to like kissing for some reason

Since I have kissed more than one person, I know it's me now, but I can't seem to like making out. It's not like I find it gross or awful or anything—it's just boring. I'm trying to understand how people enjoy it so I can enjoy it too. I sort of wonder if this means I'm not sexually attracted to guys like I'm sure I am.

Well, for me kissing isn't any different than any other intimit ... itamit ... intimate contact (but better than trying to spell ). I'm most interested in how it makes my wife feel and I enjoy the closeness. The actual act is irrel ... doesn't matter in so much as how it makes my wife feel.

Now I do understand that women get a small dose of testosterone from kissing men so there might be something physiological for women in it.

I guess I'm saying that I don't feel anything from it. I feel a lot more from being held/cuddled which is surprising that I enjoy at all. It did take a while hugging the same person to actually enjoy it or feel anything from it and now I feel too much and have to back way off from them.

What I'm saying, in my very limited exposure to intimate contact, kissing is different to me as I'm realizing that it's not intimate. And it has nothing to do with how close I am to the dude either, because I've kissed guys I felt close to and making out was the antithesis of intimacy—it drove us apart. I don't seem to have any positive feelings about making out—they all seem to be negative or neutral.

I don't feel anything either. I've wondered if there's something wrong with me. I don't like a lot of tongue and stuff like that. I find it gross and boring.

I don't think I find it gross anymore…maybe I would if I make out with someone while not intoxicated. I just don't feel turned on…even with someone I really like.

Well, kissing, I think, is lovely...

As with everything, if you are analyzing it while you're doing it, it won't be pleasant....You really need to lose yourself in it. Let your mind go fuzzy.

I couldn't have been analyzing it too much as I was a bit intoxicated. But it's not like I have the opportunity to try it sober. And they all seem to enjoy it because despite my lack of experience, I'm apparently a good kisser.

And how do I not try to do it right which would involve a little analysis. By my age, I'm supposed to know what I'm doing so it's really worrisome that I don't.

I like kissing because you have to be close to the person. I'm someone who can't be apart from people. I have to be around friends or a companion at all times. I like contact. If I'm in a relationship and they don't hold my hand a lot it's unnatural. And kissing is just the best thing, I think. But it can get boring sometimes. If they're a bad kisser

Think of it like a drink of the best cognac....Don't enjoy it so much as experience it. (please excuse me.....I'm a little ummmm self medicated)
Anyway yes, enjoy the sensuous aspect.... the smell as you get close, Hopefully it's yummy, as is he.... the very slightest hardly perceptible brush before he backs away and looks you in the eye.......the slow moving back toward each other....the initial contact and head turn into a comfortably fitting arrangement.....the deepening of the kiss and movement of the lips to find maximum contact and perfect fit....the tightening of your arms and the gravitational pull toward each other and seek out each other's heat.....the moistness and slipperiness as you move your lips around to discover the different shapes........the tongue, tentatively seeking and then winding around your partners, as if they are dancing to unheard music, or desperately seeking to learn every part of your mouth.

So yes, like a fine glass of cognac....let it wash over you, don't think about what year it is, or where it was bottled or made. Enjoy the smell, enjoy how it feels as it goes past your tongue and throat and makes all warm fuzzys inside.

Don't think that you "should know". it's learned. Many women have to teach men what to do.....even those married for a long time...So I would say any age under.....say......forty ish? possibly has a thing or two to learn....

Well, he's never going to kiss me again because it was all a mistake (for him) to begin with. At least I know how to imagine how it would be like if I ever get kissed again. Or if I ever get kissed sober again…I don't think I could experience all of that while intoxicated (at least not as much I was then).

Oh well, I never make out with anyone more than once (or over the course of more than one night), so I have one chance to figure it out it seems. I wish I could have kissed him correctly when I had the chance.

And since I'm female and supposed to be the teacher, then shouldn't I know?

Why so down on yourself honey?
Email if you like.

You cannot teach unless you are somewhat proficient...and the more you do, the more you find what you particularly like.

Also, a good kiss just envelopes you in a fog of lust. It's usually how the journey begins..

Like Sophiesmom said, don't be hard on yourself. It's not something inherent like breathing. Also, don't worry about stereotypical roles either. It seems you keep stumbling on the wrong guys actually, it seems to have little to do with you. The right guy would be patient and help you along as well.

As Dori said, "Just keep swimming."

I only get one shot…I waited nearly ten years to get kissed again by anyone and I have to immediately know what I'm doing.

And, I also have to ask…if this is how other peoples' journeys begin, then why is it how my journeys end?

And there's no fog of lust…maybe a fog of alcohol or desperation, but not lust.

Now, I'll just kiss whoever wants to kiss me…I'd go the rest of my life alone if I only kissed those I liked and if I were to ever kiss sober.

It's inherent to other people because they've had practice. Also, I'm always several years younger than my friends and more innocent because I was always focused on school/education and rarely even partied or anything. And apparently that was all a mistake. I have nothing to show for it…no career, no family really…I haven't even managed to put a band together even though it's been my dream for a decade and music is almost all I've studied for almost that long. So I've failed at everything I could possibly fail at over and over again.

And for the last quote, I must respond (jokingly…sort of) with the lifeguard fish from Spongebob:

Iam...... So you don't like kissing, big deal. Not everyone does. I am very much stright, and VERY very much hate kissing. I have been married 18 years and I have only kissed my H maybe 10 times in 18 years. I would rather kiss a dog, I would rather let a dog eat ice cream out of my mouth, I just do not like kissing. It is gross, weird, nasty, not appealing to me at all.

It is not so much the act of kissing, it is the emotional connection behind it for me. I don't connect that way with others. Connections with others scare me. I just simply don;t connect with others in any physical way.

So you are not the only one who doesn't like kissing. And that has nothing to do with finding a mate. My H has learned to do quite well with out kissing.

But it's not like I dislike it either…I just don't feel anything. I don't mind it at all really, I just don't understand how people are supposed to get enjoyment out of it. I mean, I would want to kiss someone (or multiple someones) in the future.

It's USUALLY how the journey begins.....but I have also kissed lots of men and that was the beginning and the end of it.
I think, in a way, it's a chemistry test... When the right someone wonderful finds you, your toes will tingle....

In my case having someone stick there tounge in my mouth is like having someone stick there finger in my nose or my ear. It does nothing for me really. But then again that is jut me.

Never have liked or wanted to be that intimate. I found the experience revolting. That changed 2 years ago as I was able to form an attachment for the first time and that changed everything

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Feels like that for me too.

Well, it's not like sex is any different I've come to find out. I'm completely neutral about that as well. I don't find it gross or bad or anything…it's just nothing more than masturbating while another person happens to be present. I guess I'll never understand why I have such a strong urge to be a sex toy for a night. Especially since I can't ever orgasm anymore, so the only pleasure I'll ever get from it is getting my partner to orgasm. It's sort of just cruel…I can just be strongly aroused with no hope of release ever.

Is it possible I find kissing/sex boring because I was drunk? It's not like I don't want to enjoy it and it's not like I'm not attracted to them/aroused. It's just…well, boring.

I guess my point is that is it always going to be like this? And if it is, why do I have an urge to do it again? It's so unfulfilling. It's like wanting it so badly just to be always very disappointed.

While I like kissing. All kinds. Friendly, motherly cheek kisses, peck on the lips from h, French kisses during intimacy. I know that I also don't need kissing to be intimate. I was hooking up with a guy for months. Best sex ever. We never kissed once. But maybe somewhere down the line you'll find someone who makes you like it.

Fefe(28) -bipolar II
Hubby(28)
Son(8)-aspergers and possibly ADHD and odd
Daughter(5)

You may be asexual or you could not like guys.

But I find myself highly aroused very often (by all gender identities, so I guess I'd be considered pansexual) and I like penises.

It could be medication or it could be because I've not been sober when I make out (or go beyond) since I was 15. I'm pretty sure I'd be too shy to otherwise.

You're not the only one I hate kissing, and I really have NEVER kissed anyone.