Home Menu

Menu


Closed Thread
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #126  
Old May 23, 2017, 03:20 PM
Sunflower123's Avatar
Sunflower123 Sunflower123 is offline
Legendary Wise Elder
 
Member Since: Jan 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 26,579
Quote:
Originally Posted by scatterbrained04 View Post
My concentration has been really bad today. I feel so useless. Have an appointment with pdoc soon, and I'm nervous I'll end up not saying what I need to.
I'm sorry you're having a tough time. I'm glad you have an appointment with your pdoc soon. You've really been struggling. What if you wrote down thoughts and questions as they come to you and take that to your appointment? Best wishes.

Hugs from:
Anonymous59125, Wild Coyote

advertisement
  #127  
Old May 23, 2017, 03:23 PM
Anonymous47665
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Quote:
Originally Posted by Faltering View Post
I've been holding up lately even though completing every little task has been a struggle. I started to regress today. It is so difficult to focus at work. I can't sit there for hours on end like I used to. I keep listening to co-workers' conversations, worried they're talking about me and conspiring to get me fired. I even checked my office for cameras today. Now I dread tomorrow. I just want my self-control back.
I guess I'm not quite sure how your fears about what your coworkers say has anything to do with self-control or a lack thereof. I know I personally fail at this miserably and do not do it consistently enough, but have you done the validation checks to differentiate what is real and what is being created in your mind? Are you actually hearing the conversations themselves or can you only tell that your coworkers are talking and not sure about who or what it is?
Hugs from:
Anonymous59125, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
  #128  
Old May 23, 2017, 03:32 PM
vjdragonfly's Avatar
vjdragonfly vjdragonfly is offline
Magnate
 
Member Since: Jul 2010
Location: Florida
Posts: 2,835
I'm struggling hard today. Wishing I didn't have to go on anymore. When does the suffering end? I'm just not functioning well right now.
__________________
Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~ Dr. Seuss
Hugs from:
Anonymous45023, Anonymous59125, Nammu, Sunflower123, Wander, Wild Coyote
  #129  
Old May 23, 2017, 03:39 PM
Sunflower123's Avatar
Sunflower123 Sunflower123 is offline
Legendary Wise Elder
 
Member Since: Jan 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 26,579
Quote:
Originally Posted by vjdragonfly View Post
I'm struggling hard today. Wishing I didn't have to go on anymore. When does the suffering end? I'm just not functioning well right now.
I'm sorry you are struggling so hard. I know sometimes it's absolutely brutal. Are you seeing a therapist or pdoc anytime soon so you can get some relief? If it gets too bad I think I mentioned texting 741 741 and typing hello. It's an unobtrusive crisis intervention line. It's really helped me in the past. I hope you feel better soon. Thinking of you.
Hugs from:
Wild Coyote
Thanks for this!
vjdragonfly
  #130  
Old May 23, 2017, 03:46 PM
scatterbrained04's Avatar
scatterbrained04 scatterbrained04 is offline
Magnate
 
Member Since: Feb 2015
Location: Ohio
Posts: 2,868
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967 View Post
I'm sorry you're having a tough time. I'm glad you have an appointment with your pdoc soon. You've really been struggling. What if you wrote down thoughts and questions as they come to you and take that to your appointment? Best wishes.

That would take too much foresight lol Is it wrong that I'm considering having a glass of wine beforehand? It's over the phone (so no driving involved). Might help calm the nerves.
Hugs from:
Wild Coyote
  #131  
Old May 23, 2017, 03:47 PM
vjdragonfly's Avatar
vjdragonfly vjdragonfly is offline
Magnate
 
Member Since: Jul 2010
Location: Florida
Posts: 2,835
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967 View Post
I'm sorry you are struggling so hard. I know sometimes it's absolutely brutal. Are you seeing a therapist or pdoc anytime soon so you can get some relief? If it gets too bad I think I mentioned texting 741 741 and typing hello. It's an unobtrusive crisis intervention line. It's really helped me in the past. I hope you feel better soon. Thinking of you.
Thank you, I do see my Pdoc next Tuesday but it feels so far away.
__________________
Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~ Dr. Seuss
Hugs from:
Nammu, Wild Coyote
  #132  
Old May 23, 2017, 04:15 PM
Moose72's Avatar
Moose72 Moose72 is online now
Silver Swan
 
Member Since: Jan 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 18,569
Saw my case manager at pdoc's office today. Lots of stuff on the horizon to deal with.

I'm getting my inr checked right now when N2 is having her warts frozen again.
__________________
Qui Cantat Bis Orat ingrezza 80 mg
Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg
Vraylar 4.5 mg
Gabapentin 300 mg
Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily
Mania Sept/Oct 2024
Mania (July/August 2024)
Mania (December 2023)
Mixed episode/Hypomania (September 2023)
Depression, Anxiety and Intrusive thoughts (September 2021)
Depression & Psychosis (July/August 2021)
Hugs from:
Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
  #133  
Old May 23, 2017, 04:17 PM
justafriend306
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
I am well and stable. Making a plan to return to work in October.
Hugs from:
Anonymous45023, Sunflower123, Unrigged64072835, Wild Coyote
Thanks for this!
Nammu, Unrigged64072835
  #134  
Old May 23, 2017, 04:22 PM
Faltering's Avatar
Faltering Faltering is offline
Veteran Member
 
Member Since: Oct 2016
Location: USA
Posts: 577
Quote:
Originally Posted by neodk View Post
I guess I'm not quite sure how your fears about what your coworkers say has anything to do with self-control or a lack thereof. I know I personally fail at this miserably and do not do it consistently enough, but have you done the validation checks to differentiate what is real and what is being created in your mind? Are you actually hearing the conversations themselves or can you only tell that your coworkers are talking and not sure about who or what it is?
The self-control and paranoia are different entities. I guess I was just expressing concern about both. Right now I feel like it's hard for me to control myself like I used to.

I do validation checks, yes. I'm usually a logical person. I'm hearing the conversations and interpreting them to be about me, though there is no evidence. The medication was helping with these thoughts.
__________________
Bipolar 1
Latuda 120 mg
Adderall 40 mg
Hugs from:
Anonymous45023, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
Thanks for this!
Nammu
  #135  
Old May 23, 2017, 04:23 PM
Sunflower123's Avatar
Sunflower123 Sunflower123 is offline
Legendary Wise Elder
 
Member Since: Jan 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 26,579
Quote:
Originally Posted by scatterbrained04 View Post
That would take too much foresight lol Is it wrong that I'm considering having a glass of wine beforehand? It's over the phone (so no driving involved). Might help calm the nerves.
I personally see nothing wrong with that. Good luck.
Hugs from:
Wild Coyote
Thanks for this!
scatterbrained04
  #136  
Old May 23, 2017, 05:03 PM
Moose72's Avatar
Moose72 Moose72 is online now
Silver Swan
 
Member Since: Jan 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 18,569
Heard a family in the waiting room next to me while I was waiting to get my INR/blood poke done talking politics and doom and gloom. I couldn't get away. Luckily, they switched the topic. Ugh.
__________________
Qui Cantat Bis Orat ingrezza 80 mg
Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg
Vraylar 4.5 mg
Gabapentin 300 mg
Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily
Mania Sept/Oct 2024
Mania (July/August 2024)
Mania (December 2023)
Mixed episode/Hypomania (September 2023)
Depression, Anxiety and Intrusive thoughts (September 2021)
Depression & Psychosis (July/August 2021)
Hugs from:
Anonymous45023, Nammu, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
  #137  
Old May 23, 2017, 05:34 PM
Sunflower123's Avatar
Sunflower123 Sunflower123 is offline
Legendary Wise Elder
 
Member Since: Jan 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 26,579
I know we've talked about this before. I am very sensitive true. You've explained it to me before that it's normal but I'm just not built that way. I can't just be a whipping boy and be the focus of hateful behavior, speech, and body language when I've done the most to support, encourage and love. It chews me up inside and really triggers negative feelings. I'm getting wary of which version of this person I'll encounter each time we have an interaction. I'm getting whiplash. I am assertive but that doesn't stop the behavior. Each time they are under stress or something goes wrong they take it out on me.

My therapist says to just walk away when this happens. I can't turn my back on them like that. Anyway, thanks for letting me vent and get some of the hurt out.

Hugs from:
Anonymous45023, bizi, Nammu, Wild Coyote
  #138  
Old May 23, 2017, 05:49 PM
Unrigged64072835 Unrigged64072835 is offline
Legendary
 
Member Since: Oct 2010
Location: Under the noise floor
Posts: 18,579
Got another part of homework done for the class. Have to wait on other student's comments before I'm done.

Anxiety came up while I was at the pdoc, along with an increase in facial movements. She decreased my Latuda and increased the Artane. Now if the pharmacy will fill it...

Mood has been also anxious because of the schoolwork. I feel like bailing out but I'm doing okay so far.
Hugs from:
Anonymous45023, Nammu, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
  #139  
Old May 23, 2017, 05:55 PM
Moose72's Avatar
Moose72 Moose72 is online now
Silver Swan
 
Member Since: Jan 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 18,569
Jennifer I totally agree with you! You can't be a whipping boy and let them take it out on you.
__________________
Qui Cantat Bis Orat ingrezza 80 mg
Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg
Vraylar 4.5 mg
Gabapentin 300 mg
Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily
Mania Sept/Oct 2024
Mania (July/August 2024)
Mania (December 2023)
Mixed episode/Hypomania (September 2023)
Depression, Anxiety and Intrusive thoughts (September 2021)
Depression & Psychosis (July/August 2021)
Hugs from:
Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
Thanks for this!
Nammu, Sunflower123
  #140  
Old May 23, 2017, 05:56 PM
Moose72's Avatar
Moose72 Moose72 is online now
Silver Swan
 
Member Since: Jan 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 18,569
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fharraige View Post
Got another part of homework done for the class. Have to wait on other student's comments before I'm done.

Anxiety came up while I was at the pdoc, along with an increase in facial movements. She decreased my Latuda and increased the Artane. Now if the pharmacy will fill it...

Mood has been also anxious because of the schoolwork. I feel like bailing out but I'm doing okay so far.
I bet you'll do okay!
__________________
Qui Cantat Bis Orat ingrezza 80 mg
Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg
Vraylar 4.5 mg
Gabapentin 300 mg
Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily
Mania Sept/Oct 2024
Mania (July/August 2024)
Mania (December 2023)
Mixed episode/Hypomania (September 2023)
Depression, Anxiety and Intrusive thoughts (September 2021)
Depression & Psychosis (July/August 2021)
Hugs from:
Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
  #141  
Old May 23, 2017, 05:57 PM
Moose72's Avatar
Moose72 Moose72 is online now
Silver Swan
 
Member Since: Jan 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 18,569
I just ate two pieces of pizza. N2 said, "I thought you didn't EAT carbs?!" Puh. That's all there is in the house.
__________________
Qui Cantat Bis Orat ingrezza 80 mg
Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg
Vraylar 4.5 mg
Gabapentin 300 mg
Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily
Mania Sept/Oct 2024
Mania (July/August 2024)
Mania (December 2023)
Mixed episode/Hypomania (September 2023)
Depression, Anxiety and Intrusive thoughts (September 2021)
Depression & Psychosis (July/August 2021)
Hugs from:
jacky8807, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
  #142  
Old May 23, 2017, 06:22 PM
jacky8807's Avatar
jacky8807 jacky8807 is offline
Magnate
 
Member Since: Oct 2014
Location: jakevill
Posts: 2,622
I just saw a tiny inch worm duking it out with one of those itty bitty caterpillars. Haha freaking hilarious
There are worlds inside worlds inside worlds

the universe is pretty cool
__________________
I used to rule the world
Seas would rise when I gave the word
Now in the morning, I sleep alone
Sweep the streets I used to own
I used to roll the dice
Feel the fear in my enemy's eyes
Listen as the crowd would sing
Now the old king is dead! Long live the king!
One minute I held the key
Next the walls were closed on me
And I discovered that my castles stand
Upon pillars of salt and pillars of sand
Hugs from:
Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
Thanks for this!
Moose72, Nammu, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
  #143  
Old May 23, 2017, 08:24 PM
gina_re's Avatar
gina_re gina_re is offline
Grand Magnate
 
Member Since: Jun 2012
Location: East Coast
Posts: 3,537
My boss called to check on me this morning. I didn't answer, but that's what her voice mail indicated.
I managed to get myself to the pharmacy to pick up the risperdal, let's see how this goes. Because right now, being asleep is all I look forward to.
I finally got the dishes in the dishwasher so I can stop washing a dish or utensil at a time to eat. Hooray.
Hugs from:
Anonymous45023, Anonymous59125, bizi, Sunflower123, vjdragonfly, Wild Coyote
Thanks for this!
bizi, scatterbrained04
  #144  
Old May 23, 2017, 08:32 PM
Sunflower123's Avatar
Sunflower123 Sunflower123 is offline
Legendary Wise Elder
 
Member Since: Jan 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 26,579
Quote:
Originally Posted by gina_re View Post
My boss called to check on me this morning. I didn't answer, but that's what her voice mail indicated.
I managed to get myself to the pharmacy to pick up the risperdal, let's see how this goes. Because right now, being asleep is all I look forward to.
I finally got the dishes in the dishwasher so I can stop washing a dish or utensil at a time to eat. Hooray.
Getting out to the pharmacy and loading the dishwasher are big accomplishments considering the way you're feeling. Hope the medicine works.

Hugs from:
Anonymous59125, Wild Coyote
Thanks for this!
gina_re
  #145  
Old May 23, 2017, 09:16 PM
Standup2me's Avatar
Standup2me Standup2me is offline
Grand Magnate
 
Member Since: Jan 2014
Location: Ontario Canada
Posts: 3,475
To our friends in Manchester
Our prayers are with you
We pray for peace
__________________
What's so funny about peace, love and understanding?
Elvis Costello
Hugs from:
Anonymous45023, Anonymous59125, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
Thanks for this!
jacky8807, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
  #146  
Old May 24, 2017, 02:23 AM
scatterbrained04's Avatar
scatterbrained04 scatterbrained04 is offline
Magnate
 
Member Since: Feb 2015
Location: Ohio
Posts: 2,868
Raised trileptal. Also jinxed myself saying I sleep ok. Woke up at 2:30am and couldn't go back asleep. Oh joy. Hope it's just a one time deal.
Hugs from:
Anonymous45023, gina_re, jacky8807, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
  #147  
Old May 24, 2017, 06:30 AM
Moose72's Avatar
Moose72 Moose72 is online now
Silver Swan
 
Member Since: Jan 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 18,569
Power went out around 1245 last night. I called the power company. They sent someone out and gave me a fixed time of 1-3. I can't sleep without my CPAP so I just used my phone battery to get online. Ten minutes later the lights and fan come back on! That's the fastest fix ever. And I got a text saying it was an equipment failure but it's fixed now.
__________________
Qui Cantat Bis Orat ingrezza 80 mg
Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg
Vraylar 4.5 mg
Gabapentin 300 mg
Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily
Mania Sept/Oct 2024
Mania (July/August 2024)
Mania (December 2023)
Mixed episode/Hypomania (September 2023)
Depression, Anxiety and Intrusive thoughts (September 2021)
Depression & Psychosis (July/August 2021)
Hugs from:
Nammu, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
  #148  
Old May 24, 2017, 07:18 AM
Moose72's Avatar
Moose72 Moose72 is online now
Silver Swan
 
Member Since: Jan 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 18,569
Quote:
Originally Posted by jacky8807 View Post
I just saw a tiny inch worm duking it out with one of those itty bitty caterpillars. Haha freaking hilarious
There are worlds inside worlds inside worlds

the universe is pretty cool
To them it was probably a fight to the death.

You must have good eyes, by the way!
__________________
Qui Cantat Bis Orat ingrezza 80 mg
Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg
Vraylar 4.5 mg
Gabapentin 300 mg
Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily
Mania Sept/Oct 2024
Mania (July/August 2024)
Mania (December 2023)
Mixed episode/Hypomania (September 2023)
Depression, Anxiety and Intrusive thoughts (September 2021)
Depression & Psychosis (July/August 2021)
Hugs from:
Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
Thanks for this!
jacky8807
  #149  
Old May 24, 2017, 07:57 AM
Wander's Avatar
Wander Wander is offline
Grand Magnate
 
Member Since: Jul 2014
Location: Milky Way
Posts: 4,746
Saw my pdoc and T today. I have been very depressed the last week and mildly before that. My pdoc saw me for 10 minutes and asked me to lower my Lithium as it is very high. He said some of the flatness could be due to the Lithium. If that doesn't work he wants me to increase my fluoxetine (Prozac). Last time it was increased I went into a agitated manic state so I questioned that but he thinks that because I am purely depressed this time (I was in a mixed state when it was increased last time) I shouldn't have the same reaction. I felt he wasn't taking my depression seriously and was in a rush.

My T (who can prescribe meds in the USA but not here) said he didn't understand the Lithium idea, it would help some but not alleviate the depression. He also thinks I should increase the fluoxetine immediately, especially as if I wait and increase it on the weekend I have less support should something go wrong. Had a great chat to my T who encouraged me immensely.

He can see I am deeply depressed and says that going from one severe psychotic episode to a small break then a severe mixed episode, both lasting more than 2 months each has worn me down and it will take months to recover even if I don't have an episode. He said I am doing amazing to keep studying and that I should not go back to work until I feel stronger as last Sunday clearly showed as I had to leave work early due to being overwhelmed.

And yes, i am totally overwhelmed by life and everything. I have SI and feel like I am drowning as I am close to panic most of the time. I don't know how I going to get through the last 3 weeks of semester. I always seem to get through but this is different. Bipolar has crushed me so I am extremely fragile. When will this end? I go from episode to a small break(month or two) then another episode, and major episodes too. I feel hopeless. I will keep fighting but I don't know if I can win this one.
__________________
Bipolar 1 with psychotic features
PTSD




"Phew! For a minute there I lost myself."

'Karma Police' by Radiohead
Hugs from:
Anonymous41403, Anonymous45023, Anonymous59125, bizi, jacky8807, Moose72, Nammu, Sunflower123, vjdragonfly, Wild Coyote
Thanks for this!
bizi, scatterbrained04
  #150  
Old May 24, 2017, 08:29 AM
bizi's Avatar
bizi bizi is offline
Bizi is bizi
 
Member Since: Nov 2005
Location: cajun country
Posts: 11,086
hi wander sorry you have been going thru such difficult times. I hope you have communicated with your professors about your challenges, perhaps they will give you more time to test/prepare papers etc.
Good uck with your goals, baby steps every day.
Lithium does nothing for depression.
bizi
__________________
lamictal 2x a day
haldol 2x a day
cogentin 2x a day
klonipin , 1mg at night,
fish oil coq10
multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine
Remeron at night,
zyprexa,
requip2-4mg





Hugs from:
Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
Thanks for this!
Sunflower123, Wander
Closed Thread
Views: 56567

attentionThis is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.




All times are GMT -5. The time now is 05:24 PM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2025, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.




 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.