[bizi]

Originally Posted by CrT0811

I went outside and picked all the mint and white sage from two of my herb gardens. It’s supposed to get into the mid 20’s here by Tuesday.....

where abouts in lousiana do you live?must be northern LA because we are getting weather in the 30's for a low at night.
burr we went from summer to winter!
bizi

[CrT0811]

Originally Posted by bizi

where abouts in lousiana do you live?must be northern LA because we are getting weather in the 30's for a low at night.
burr we went from summer to winter!
bizi

I definitely live north of you. I’d rather not publicly share my exact location but I will say this. I can stand on the roof of my house and see Arkansas.

And yeah...we had a brief Indian summer for the last couple of weeks up here then boom...lots of rain. Earlier this week it got fairly concerning . We live on a lake and had to rush the boats out of our boat house and the hubby’s dad’s house before the water got too high to get them safely out. As it was, I had to putter at a “no wake” speed for the quarter mile or so to the closest good landing to avoid creating wakes and damaging docks with boats tied on them. Going slow in a big ski boat draws attention and where we live, everyone knows who you are by your boat. It’s like high school all over again. So, ball cap firmly in place, sunken as low as I can and not get nasty, dusty boat seat on my clothes, there I went. Might as well have had Roman candles shooting out my ears. Heads peeping up from gardens, back porches, kitchen windows. It’s (*****)’s boat! Arms come up in the southern beauty queen parade wave...ugh. Peopleing...even from a distance. I can sit and write - describing myriad emotions, complex dialogue, danger, fear, adrenaline fevered thoughts and actions but I start to shake just driving a friggen boat slowly past the neighborhood. My life is a strange juxtaposition, that’s for sure.

But...today was a good day. I accomplished an outdoor thing with zero complications and no Peopleing required.

[Tryingtobehappy5]

Yesterday I slept almost all day 17hrs. Got up at 3 and got some groceries for the kids. Grabbed myself a sparkling flavored water because I seen the fake alcohol and started having major cravings so I thought maybe that would help a little for the evening.

Layed in bed ahain then had a long bath and did a couple meditation exercises even though I really didnt want to. Took some vitamins thinking maybe it will help with the withdrawls from the 3 meds and alcohol then got back into bed at 9 and didnt even drink my water.

[Blueberrybook]

I'm eating breakfast (though my ED would rather skip it since it is nearly 10:30 AM).

[Blueberrybook]

Originally Posted by Tryingtobehappy5

Yesterday I slept almost all day 17hrs. Got up at 3 and got some groceries for the kids. Grabbed myself a sparkling flavored water because I seen the fake alcohol and started having major cravings so I thought maybe that would help a little for the evening.

Layed in bed ahain then had a long bath and did a couple meditation exercises even though I really didnt want to. Took some vitamins thinking maybe it will help with the withdrawls from the 3 meds and alcohol then got back into bed at 9 and didnt even drink my water.

Sounds like you did a lot of self-care. Good for you. I have the withdrawals from the meds & alcohol will stop for you. Is there a reason you stopped all 3 meds at once? Might have been easier one at a time or under a pdoc's supervision?

[Tryingtobehappy5]

I dont feel too bad, just some brain fog and the dizziness/headache yesterday. I probably feel better now than on the meds anyways. I was throwing up and having constant heartburn on them.

I just couldnt take them anymore. The pdoc thinks I need them and I think they are causing my episodes. And I dont want my pdoc to take the prescription away. I know thats bad I just feel like its insurance for if I am wrong if i keep filling my rx every week I can do what I want. Plus there is a tiny piece of me that wants a way out available if I get to that point and lots of pills make me feel like I have that.

[Wild Coyote]

Finally fell asleep this morning and allowed myself to sleep in.

Took a shower and completed all daily basic for hygiene.

Texted with a friend I truly appreciate. I enjoy her very much!
Friendships are important and invaluable.

I am calling another friend this afternoon, in order to catch up. She lives a couple states away and I have not seen her in awhile. I enjoy her, too.


WC

[bizi]

[QUOTE=Tryingtobehappy5;6332016]I dont feel too bad, just some brain fog and the dizziness/headache yesterday. I probably feel better now than on the meds anyways. .....

You maybe going thru withdrawl if you stopped taking your meds. I think you should tell your pdoc this and not get the refills to have them on supply in order to OD if you need to do that.
You need to see a therapist to work on your depression. suicide is not the way out of your depression.
Your family would be devastated if you killed yourself.
please don't make this your back up plan. You need coping skills and a mental tool box.

bizi

[Blueberrybook]

I got off Facebook because political posts were starting to really agitate me to the point I'd want to tell my FB friends they're idiots. Guess that's a plus?

I'm going to play an easy, relaxing game on my iPad after I am done posting here.

[Tryingtobehappy5]

You maybe going thru withdrawl if you stopped taking your meds. I think you should tell your pdoc this and not get the refills to have them on supply in order to OD if you need to do that.
You need to see a therapist to work on your depression. suicide is not the way out of your depression.
Your family would be devastated if you killed yourself.
please don't make this your back up plan. You need coping skills and a mental tool box.

bizi[/QUOTE]

I see a therapist every couple weeks but progress is very slow. My fault.

Im not depressed though and Im not suicidal at all right now I just feel uncomfortable without a plan. Before I went on meds I hadnt been suicidal for 10 years so hoping I will be better now.

Been doing good stuff today. Took a shower, did my light box, did some cleaning, made myself a big heap of yakisoba noodles loaded with veggies and tofu. Listening to music. Sun's been streaming through the windows. Going to a concert tonight.
Today's just chock full of positive action. And I took tomorrow off from work to get decent sleep since I'll be up way later than usual.

[TheSeaCat]

I had a pretty good day of self care, I went out to lunch with my Aunt and afterwards we went shopping and I bought a perfume I love since my bottle is mostly empty, also bought some cute new clothes for work. Went home and took a shower, laid out clothes for work in the morning. Texted Therapist to figure out what day to have our fourth session for this week. Made a few lunch plans for next week. Now working on a small school assignment.

I put on some of my perfumes

today I'm smelling like coconut and rose

em loves her perfumes haha

[Sunflower123]

I’ve been to the gym already this morning (even in the pouring rain).
I’ve made a healthy smoothie for breakfast.
I’ve completed my morning affirmations/meditation/visualization.

Warm wishes to all for a peaceful (and dry) day.

[bizi]

this is self care ladies, good going!
bizi
((((HUGS)))
bizi

[Wild Coyote]

Every morning, as soon as I get up, I go to the kitchen and cut up fruit for a fruit platter which is shared by everyone in the house. I get some healthy antioxidants!

Love to All!

WC

[Tryingtobehappy5]

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

I’ve been to the gym already this morning (even in the pouring rain).
I’ve made a healthy smoothie for breakfast.
I’ve completed my morning affirmations/meditation/visualization.

Warm wishes to all for a peaceful (and dry) day.

I havent done any affirmations in a long time but I have one that I really like. Thank you for the reminder! And maybe I will even have a smoothie too

Yesterday hubby and I took a nice walk then sat on a bench having a pleasant conversation. It was hubby's name day yesterday so I made him yummy meals.

It feels good not to be thinking of family issues. They are not solved. I'm just avoiding them. Avoidance can be a bad thing, I know, but can sometimes also be a good thing.

I did some cleaning this morning. It's nice to have a clean house.

[Sunflower123]

I had dinner with friends from bible study tonight. We call it the Supper Club. My contribution was a zucchini/squash/corn casserole. It was a nice evening.

[TheSeaCat]

Went out to lunch with a friend; after work went to therapy to cry about the ending of my relationship. Came home and took a nice hot shower, now curled up with my kitty getting extra snuggles from him.

[bizi]

Originally Posted by TheSeaCat

Went out to lunch with a friend; after work went to therapy to cry about the ending of my relationship. Came home and took a nice hot shower, now curled up with my kitty getting extra snuggles from him.

I am glad that you have a kitty to get extra snuggles and love!
bizi

[Blueberrybook]

I ate breakfast & lunch.
I put on perfume today.
I put on nicer clothes today.
I am going to keep my T appointment in 30 minutes even though I don't feel like going. Nothing against my T, but therapy is hard, and I'm feeling like I want to hibernate this afternoon.

[CrT0811]

I had no choice but to People alone today. My drivers license had expired a few weeks ago and I completely spaced it since I’ve been in a manic cycle with good writing energy so I haven’t had to drive. The hubby is amazing and basically does all the “fetching” during these. He understands I am gone down the writing rabbit hole and will pop my head up as it spins down. These creative manics are what fuel my books and keep the income stream flowing so our retirement can bob around and stay untouched most of the time. Anyway...

I had to go by myself due to some area board meetings the hubs could not get out of so off I went. Since we are in a very rural area, I had to drive quite a distance to the next town over. So, as I drove, the mind wanders into strange places that make no sense. Can I be arrested for having an expired license? No, Silly, that’s dumb. Does that police car that just passed me have a device that can detect an expired license? Uh...no, you whack a doodle...stop being stupid. Did that lady checking her mail box sense that I’m driving illegally? O.k, now you are really getting on the coo coo train. How bout hopping off and making sense, mmmm K?

You know...typical paranoid self talk. Anywho, all went well. My mask of sardonic, fun, ever so slightly eccentric, old lady, kicked in and soon it was over. I did well. No one even raised an eyebrow to anything I said...believe me, that’s incredibly rare.

I rewarded myself with a stop at a little store that sells A amazing salted chocolate and am now, blissfully munching on sweet chunks of heaven and swinging my short legged feet. I’m legal until 2024. That blows my mind. If my twelve year old self would have seen this fancy holographic style license with that expiration date, she would have been certain there was a flying car in the garage. Still waiting on those, by the way. Somebody needs to get busy. We were promised flying cars, dammitt!!!

[clydeblack]

I registered for classes plus finished an essay!! Finally, I'm beginning to see better possibilities. It's great!

[Wild Coyote]

Completed all basic hygiene.

Did some housework (which I consider self-care because it makes me anxious to have it not done).

Made healthy meals.

Took an hour to myself this afternoon.

Spoke w/ my out-of-state sister. We'd talked for 2 hours, catching up. She is coming to stay over for Thanksgiving! I am excited!


WC