Originally Posted by Innerzone

I got 7 straight hours of sleep last night(!) (Have been waking up in the middle of the night nearly every night. Sometimes finally getting back to sleep hours later, sometimes not at all).

I have unfortunately been off of work because, you guessed it, I had a return of pinkeye Sunday, and the boss insisted I take off out of fear others might catch it. I am VERY fastidious and therefore no one in my house or former job caught it, but there ya have it. I had an appt. with a PA, who was quite thorough (the others were not at all), followed by an appt. with an opthamologist who is taking a different approach. It seems to be clearing nicely, so hopefully I can go back to work tomorrow. Fingers crossed.

Have had a bit of trouble motivating lately. And getting out of bed. Not terrible though. Had a med increase recently, so that's probably helping keep a lid on it.

That's great your pink eye is clearing nicely! Hopefully it doesn't return again. Sounds like a never-ending nightmare.

Good luck with work. Hopefully you can get back soon.

Originally Posted by ~Christina

The ptsd will always be a part of my life and I’ll just have to roll with it and try to avoid movies that have guns in them , yeah that honestly is very hard to do nowadays .... I am so furious that I brought a friend from PC into my home and her actions will cause me pure hell at times the rest of my life.

My T and I talked it out.... So I feel back on firmer ground again ... well until the next time.

Things could always be worse.

Sorry to hear that, Christina.

I hope you're feeling better today.

Originally Posted by sadveiledbride

Feeling very irritated and depressive. I got around 4 or 5 hours of sleep today. Wishing I could sleep more but am trying not to delude myself for not being able to. Angry about an appointment I have tomorrow. Angry and disappointed with myself.

Hopefully the appointment isn't too bad for you. Sorry to hear you're not doing so well.

Try not to be so hard on yourself. Maybe reward yourself with something nice, even if it's something like going out for ice cream.

Originally Posted by Wander

I emailed my pdoc yesterday to try and get my appointment moved sooner as it was in a months time. My T urged me to do this. After explaining the rage I’m feeling and how I am at breaking point my pdoc got his team to call me within a few hours. I now have an appointment for tomorrow. I am so thankful he was able to squeeze me in so soon. I really don’t want to go IP again.

How are you feeling today?

Originally Posted by Blueberrybook

Tired beyond tired today. Feeling cold so had to put on socks and sweater. We keep our thermostat at 75F and lose cold air from lack of good insulation. A bit down as I was feeling more like myself yesterday. I know the improvement is expected to be gradual, but when you backpedal, it is depessing

How do you feel this morning?

Sorry you're backpedaling. I hope things get better soon for you.

[Daonnachd]

Hey, all.
I met with my T yesterday. We talked alot about other job options for me as 12 hours/week isn't earning us enough money. The challenge is not only do I have to be able to take time off every month for ECT treatments, those treatments make it very difficult to learn new things. I have no confidence I can take on a new, full-time job. This has me stressed and a bit down. ... I don't want to go on too long though, so I'll stop there.

[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by Daonnachd

Hey, all.
I met with my T yesterday. We talked alot about other job options for me as 12 hours/week isn't earning us enough money. The challenge is not only do I have to be able to take time off every month for ECT treatments, those treatments make it very difficult to learn new things. I have no confidence I can take on a new, full-time job. This has me stressed and a bit down. ... I don't want to go on too long though, so I'll stop there.

Thinking of you and wishing you luck in scoping out job opportunities that are good fits for you.

Originally Posted by Daonnachd

Hey, all.
I met with my T yesterday. We talked alot about other job options for me as 12 hours/week isn't earning us enough money. The challenge is not only do I have to be able to take time off every month for ECT treatments, those treatments make it very difficult to learn new things. I have no confidence I can take on a new, full-time job. This has me stressed and a bit down. ...I don't want to go on too long though, so I'll stop there.

What about a stocking job at a place like Target or Wal-Mart where you work out back? I could be wrong, but I don't think you'd need to learn many new things with stocking shelves (and I mean that in a sincere way). It seems like you'd probably get told which shelf to put the things in, and you likely wouldn't have to interact with customers if you're always in the backroom helping with shipments. Then you don't have to worry about customers asking where things are (since I know ECT messes with memory). Just a thought.

[Miss Laura]

I saw my therapist today I felt good then I got home and I have felt miserable since then. I'm weepy. I'm itching to talk to people but no-one is around. Really down. We didn't even speak about anything hard too. Confused so am I

[fern46]

I'm feeling so uplifted today. My brother is fighting cancer and he just shared with me a wonderful moment of his battle that has humbled him. He is on vacation this week and his friends got together and offered their time to work on his house. They pressure washed his fence and driveway, cut the grass, trimmed all of their trees and bushes, laid down new mulch and cleaned the whole house. It was a ton of work and they stepped up for him while he is feeling too sick to do it. They are all amazing and I'm truly grateful for their service.

[Nammu]

My daughter lost her SSDI. She's in the middle of going back to school and can't handle school and job both, the stress is too much. She also has two kids, one is almost 2 and the other starts first grade in the fall. I feel helpless cause there's nothing I can do to help. Aside from babysitting. She's on the same medicine I'm on, Latuda, worked miracles for both of us. This sucks.

[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by Nammu

My daughter lost her SSDI. She's in the middle of going back to school and can't handle school and job both, the stress is too much. She also has two kids, one is almost 2 and the other starts first grade in the fall. I feel helpless cause there's nothing I can do to help. Aside from babysitting. She's on the same medicine I'm on, Latuda, worked miracles for both of us. This sucks.

Oh no! I know how bad that is. Your daughter and her children are in my thoughts and prayers as are you.

[Sunflower123]

Starting to come out of the deep depression I always get when coming home from a vacation. Experienced moments of levity today and I’m finally moving around. Hallelujah! I had been sleeping 14-16 hours a day and living on a can of soup a day. This was a tough one. Why not just skip vacation you ask? I ask myself that same question every year as well. I get anxiety and panic attacks before and depression after. Doesn’t seem worth it but somehow it is. I need to plan for these things.

Floating in the pool today in the sunshine helped a lot. I still might ask for an AD when I see my NP in a week and a half.

Warm wishes and hugs to all.

[Pookyl]

I feel really out of sorts today. Dunno why which makes it hard for me to fix.

[Moose72]

I have to get my youngest from work in an hour but Id rather lay here and fall asleep. Oh well- he cant stay all night there so off I must go.

[Moose72]

Aaah! Im in bed in pjs watching Dr. Katz. Amazon has the complete series but its a bit expensive.

[sadveiledbride]

Have had a relatively ****** day so far, feeling very depressive and tired. Perhaps I'll sleep soon. I received some not great news recently so still getting over that.

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by Nammu

My daughter lost her SSDI. She's in the middle of going back to school and can't handle school and job both, the stress is too much. She also has two kids, one is almost 2 and the other starts first grade in the fall. I feel helpless cause there's nothing I can do to help. Aside from babysitting. She's on the same medicine I'm on, Latuda, worked miracles for both of us. This sucks.

Oh no

Your baby sitting would be one HUGE worry off her back.

Was she told why she lost it?

This is one fear I have, losing my SSDI

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

Starting to come out of the deep depression I always get when coming home from a vacation. Experienced moments of levity today and I’m finally moving around. Hallelujah! I had been sleeping 14-16 hours a day and living on a can of soup a day. This was a tough one. Why not just skip vacation you ask? I ask myself that same question every year as well. I get anxiety and panic attacks before and depression after. Doesn’t seem worth it but somehow it is. I need to plan for these things.


Floating in the pool today in the sunshine helped a lot. I still might ask for an AD when I see my NP in a week and a half.


Warm wishes and hugs to all.

We go back to Florida at least 3 times a year to see the kids. Every trip stresses me out , just the packing then Living out of a suitcase and just constantly on the go seeing everyone.

Then I’m so grateful to get back home but I suffer a bit of depression each time.

Go easy on yourself. Floating in a pool sounds wonderful

[~Christina]

Summer has certainly arrived.

My side of the bed is closer to the window , despite blinds and curtains I woke up a bit sweaty.

Ugh it just starts off my day like shyt. So I stomped around just angry as hell.

Finally got over it mostly. Despite blinds and curtains this is a yearly struggle for me. I have never coped with heat well my entire life. I’ll be back to taking a shower twice a day.

[Wild Coyote]

A warm hello to ALL!

I am still having a rough time. I do not recognize this guy who used to be my husband. He is continuing to be very difficult in ways which are very foreign to both of us! It is just insane. He is a stranger to me.

I hope things will will settle down so I can get some much-needed sleep!is

Love to All!

[~Christina]

Sending you Love and Hugs WC stay strong

[Nammu]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

Oh no

Your baby sitting would be one HUGE worry off her back.

Was she told why she lost it?

This is one fear I have, losing my SSDI

They said she was no longer disabled. It's cause the Latuda works. It's my fear too. Her boyfriend is trying to get her on his insurance so she can stay on her meds. The kicker is off Latuda she might unstablize. Don't know if they can get coverage tho. They've been together for over 10 years and in a lot of states would be considered common-in-law married but not here. They sent her forms to fill out and forms to other people and just decided she wasn't disabled any more.

This is why I'm following your updates about being off Latuda so closely.

[Wander]

Saw my pdoc today. He explained, as did my T, that my rage is totally justified and healthy. Pushing it all back in is not the way to stay safe, as past psychosis demonstrates.

As I feel I’m on the edge of sanity at times he gave me 25 mg Seroquel to punch out before I kill someone. However, he wants me to only use it when I’m in danger as experiencing the rage can have healing and strengthening properties. Like making me refuse to be controlled, abused or manipulated again.

This was encouraging and helpful. He has had PTSD before (ex-military), and runs a PTSD program and it shows. He really gets it. We talked for longer than usual. I guess he was making sure I wasn’t going to go psychotic like I felt I was heading. Otherwise, Bipolar is still calm and silent thankfully.

After that I went to the brand new local outdoor pool by the beach. I discovered how swimming with a snorkel is way easier than with goggles alone. I thought I was fit-ish in the water but it seems I have a long way to go.

Still, I am very irritable all the time, and the anger needs an outlet as apparently killing a list of people is not appropriate. The urge to self destruct is immense. I have always taken it out on myself. Not now. I won’t let those ****ers win.

[Polibeth]

Originally Posted by Nammu

They said she was no longer disabled. It's cause the Latuda works. It's my fear too. Her boyfriend is trying to get her on his insurance so she can stay on her meds. The kicker is off Latuda she might unstablize. Don't know if they can get coverage tho. They've been together for over 10 years and in a lot of states would be considered common-in-law married but not here. They sent her forms to fill out and forms to other people and just decided she wasn't disabled any more.

This is why I'm following your updates about being off Latuda so closely.

Wow! This scares me too. SSDI has an appeal process and I think you continue to collect benefits while it is going on. ((Hugs))