It's currently sunny. Hubby is home today because he has an Ear/Nose/Throat doctor appointment. I have a psychiatrist appointment that hubby will likely join me for, though may just wait in the waiting room. It's soon before his appointment. We'll likely go grocery shopping later. I would also like to buy herbs from Lowes or Home Depot and maybe plant the flowers in the front garden. The risk of frost is over.

so I guess my computer stopped having a "becareful about this site" page pop up every time I go to a different page on this site, so I'm back!
Lately I have been thinking I don't have any sort of bipolar disorder or schizoaffective, don't really know how to go into detail on t hat but there ya go. The propanolol hasn't been helping with tremors, maybe I just need a higher dose. I want to get off the geodon. I kinda want to stop all my meds actually. Not that I'm going to because I know I need them; I guess I just wish I didn't need them.

[fern46]

I'm doing ok. I've been stressed while waiting for my brother's cancer test results to come in. The doctor hasn't given us his interpretation yet and the technical terms listed in the results are over my head. I spent a good deal of time this weekend reading medical journals and trying to make sense of it, but I still don't know. I think he has stage II of a rare type of blood cancer. I'll have to wait to see what the oncologist thinks though. We should hear sometime this week.

I have an appointment with my therapist tomorrow. I have a lot to discuss with her. I'm curious to know what she thinks about my psychiatrist telling me she doesn't think I'm bipolar. I'm still struggling with that because I feel like I don't have a grasp on why or how I lost my grip on reality. I feel like I don't know what steps to take to prevent a relapse if I don't know what caused it. I just feel lost. My husband is struggling with this too. He took comfort in a diagnosis that explained how my brain could have gotten so off track and now he has no answers. We are trying to roll with it though and we are looking for the silver lining. This could potentially mean my chances of relapse are lessened and that would be a tremendous blessing. We just have to wait and see. In the meantime I plan to stick with my meds and CBT. They seem to be helping even if we don't know what we are treating.

[Sunflower123]

Taking mom to the doctor today to get her cast off. I really hope her foot has healed. I don’t know where we go after this if it’s not. This whole situation starting NYE has been most stressful from the fall to her foot that is not healing. I think the thing that alarms me most is her decline since she’s been recuperating. Not good.

It’s a sunny, breezy day here so I’ll probably spend some time outside. Doing good. My thought processes are continuing to improve which is great. I see my therapist again Thursday.

Warm wishes and hugs to all.

[hopeless2015]

It's sunny here also and I'm loving it!!! Weve had so many rainy icky days. I need more sun in my life lol.

[gina_re]

Yesterday was a good day. I didn't do a much of anything, but I was in a good mood all day. I woke up feeling good too, but then a couple of minutes ago, my mood shifted and told me to get back under the covers. WTF?!

[MsSunflower]

Had a pretty good day today. Seen Avengers Endgame last night with my Mom. Made some phone calls that I've been putting off. Finally have an intake appointment tomorrow for a day hospital program. And to top it all off I got a call that I won a raffle and now I have a shiny new Amazon Fire! It's nice to have a good day every now and then lol

[Moose72]

N3 and I went to salvation army after school to find white pants that he needs for the choir concert Thursday. Found a pair but he didnt try them on- just held them up. He's pretty slim though so let's hope. I also found gi pants for judo and they FIT! What are the odds? No jacket though- just the pants. Then we needed to kill time before his piano lesson so we went to the McDonald's where he works. He ate, I didn't. Then we were about to leave and my piece of junk car wouldn't start. It breaks a LOT! So I got someone to take N3 to his lesson and I called AAA. Guess what? The fees were due on the 1st so I had to shell out money I don't have before they'd send a tow truck. However, AAA said it would be 60 minutes so I ordered food and then the tow truck driver called and said he'd be 10 minutes! So I gobbled down my food and ran outside. Its at the fix it place now. I dunno how I'll pay for this- I hate my car! Its freakin 30 years old. Ugh. /rant

However, I showered when I finally got home and I have pjs on and feel FRESHSHSH! . I was way overdue.

Moodwise I'm still up- chipper, talk too fast, walk too fast.... too friendly to everybody. Makes it easy to spend $170 I don't have on AAA. Which one of my bills will bounce? Tv or Electric/gas? Hope its tv. Spent a lot of money in the last 2+ weeks. Pdoc wanted to know how much. I said "All of it." She wanted a number but I wouldn't tell her.

Didn't get a walk in today- but I did yesterday. And McDonalds doesn't help! I actually rarey ever eat McDonald's even though that's where N3 works. Its just not my thing- and I'm supposed to be on a diet....

But right now, I'm comfortable. Whew!

[Nammu]

Bought a lot of stuff! None of it except the cat food was needed. Bought a cotton tail wreath and silk flower arrangement just because they were pretty and 70% off. At another store brought real flowers, I think I've spring fever. Not manic they were just pretty. Another younger cousin of mums died so going to a funeral on Thursday. I think I may have met her, I knew her sister better tho. Mum is running out of relatives but she still has 2 brothers and one sister. They were just here last week.

[gina_re]

Well I forced myself to go out and cut the grass. Figured the fresh air should do me some good after taking a long nap. It took me forever, as usual, but this time my mom stayed outside with me and that helped. I feel a little better, but not 100 percent. I asked my sister if I could stop by her house tomorrow. Being around the kids is always uplifting, so I'm hoping it will help my mood. I'll go over there twice this week if I have to. Hugs to all that need one.

Planning on staying up all night tonight, probably won't though, just feels that way because I usually go to bed at 9 and it's 10:30 now. I pulled a muscle in my leg so no dancing either.

[Wander]

Been punching out with Marijuana, which I haven't used for seven months, over the last three days. It just kinda happened. I can't seem to do some things in moderation. I have had a great time, except when memories hit me. Still having trouble sleeping, but I got six straight hours last night which is great. Mood erratic. Not sure what is exactly going on.

[TheSeaCat]

Hello all; hope everyone is doing well. It's Monday but today wasn't that bad honestly; in terms of last weeks Monday this Monday was very calm and easy.

I was training the new Reception Lead along with doing interviews; which I actually really enjoy doing interviews. Plus today was the beginning of Nurse week and we have a few RN's and several LPN's to celebrate.

M is doing well; he is getting cabin fever and suffering from massive amounts of boredom.

In terms of the new medication I can't really say much other than it is doing its job pretty darn well. No side effects; I'm not hypo; I'm stable. I mean my sleep took some getting used to but on the plus side I am sleeping just fine with my gummy Melatonin. Feeling pretty great on this medication; might even feeling better than with the Seroquel.

Hugs to everyone

[VerMOZZica]

Today was okay. I woke up late though but my cousin and I helped my Mom put some dishes away on her new cabinets. My Mom is having the kitchen remodeled. My nieces and nephew are here right now and they always manage to brighten my day. I can`t help but feel sad and alone though. I`ve been feeling pretty low lately. I feel it more than usual. I have no energy and haven`t any motivation to do anything, I think some people think I`m just being lazy and I hate that some would think that way of me. I`m just trying to get by day by day. I don`t know what else I can do. I just wish people could understand what it`s like to have this illness. Maybe they would be more understanding .

Originally Posted by spikes

Planning on staying up all night tonight, probably won't though, just feels that way because I usually go to bed at 9 and it's 10:30 now. I pulled a muscle in my leg so no dancing either.

So it's quarter past 3 now... the good times are killing me. Voices are really bad tonight and I know the longer I stay up the worse it's gonna get. I'm going to go out on a limb and accept the help they're offering at the IOP medication wise because I haven't exactly been doing that. My teeth hurt. I wish I had that remote from that movie Click because I am bored as hell right now and have nothing to do for almost 12 hours.

[GoldenSnitch]

Originally Posted by Wander

Been punching out with Marijuana, which I haven't used for seven months, over the last three days. It just kinda happened. I can't seem to do some things in moderation. I have had a great time, except when memories hit me. Still having trouble sleeping, but I got six straight hours last night which is great. Mood erratic. Not sure what is exactly going on.

I wonder if that’s a bipolar thing. I tend to have a hard time doing things in moderation as well. I’m glad you got 6 hours last night but I hope your mood evens out.

[GoldenSnitch]

Originally Posted by TheSeaCat

Hello all; hope everyone is doing well. It's Monday but today wasn't that bad honestly; in terms of last weeks Monday this Monday was very calm and easy.


I was training the new Reception Lead along with doing interviews; which I actually really enjoy doing interviews. Plus today was the beginning of Nurse week and we have a few RN's and several LPN's to celebrate.


M is doing well; he is getting cabin fever and suffering from massive amounts of boredom.


In terms of the new medication I can't really say much other than it is doing its job pretty darn well. No side effects; I'm not hypo; I'm stable. I mean my sleep took some getting used to but on the plus side I am sleeping just fine with my gummy Melatonin. Feeling pretty great on this medication; might even feeling better than with the Seroquel.


Hugs to everyone

It is so great to read that you are feeling stable!!

[GoldenSnitch]

Originally Posted by VerMOZZica

Today was okay. I woke up late though but my cousin and I helped my Mom put some dishes away on her new cabinets. My Mom is having the kitchen remodeled. My nieces and nephew are here right now and they always manage to brighten my day. I can`t help but feel sad and alone though. I`ve been feeling pretty low lately. I feel it more than usual. I have no energy and haven`t any motivation to do anything, I think some people think I`m just being lazy and I hate that some would think that way of me. I`m just trying to get by day by day. I don`t know what else I can do. I just wish people could understand what it`s like to have this illness. Maybe they would be more understanding .

Hugs. I’m sorry you’re feeling low. There is still so much stigma around mental illness but know that you are not being lazy. You have daily struggles that most people can’t begin to understand.

[GoldenSnitch]

Originally Posted by BirdDancer

It's currently sunny. Hubby is home today because he has an Ear/Nose/Throat doctor appointment. I have a psychiatrist appointment that hubby will likely join me for, though may just wait in the waiting room. It's soon before his appointment. We'll likely go grocery shopping later. I would also like to buy herbs from Lowes or Home Depot and maybe plant the flowers in the front garden. The risk of frost is over.

Planting herbs sounds lovely! I hope you enjoy it

[GoldenSnitch]

Originally Posted by fern46

I'm doing ok. I've been stressed while waiting for my brother's cancer test results to come in. The doctor hasn't given us his interpretation yet and the technical terms listed in the results are over my head. I spent a good deal of time this weekend reading medical journals and trying to make sense of it, but I still don't know. I think he has stage II of a rare type of blood cancer. I'll have to wait to see what the oncologist thinks though. We should hear sometime this week.


I have an appointment with my therapist tomorrow. I have a lot to discuss with her. I'm curious to know what she thinks about my psychiatrist telling me she doesn't think I'm bipolar. I'm still struggling with that because I feel like I don't have a grasp on why or how I lost my grip on reality. I feel like I don't know what steps to take to prevent a relapse if I don't know what caused it. I just feel lost. My husband is struggling with this too. He took comfort in a diagnosis that explained how my brain could have gotten so off track and now he has no answers. We are trying to roll with it though and we are looking for the silver lining. This could potentially mean my chances of relapse are lessened and that would be a tremendous blessing. We just have to wait and see. In the meantime I plan to stick with my meds and CBT. They seem to be helping even if we don't know what we are treating.

Wishing you well with everything going on with your brother. Big hugs. Thats a lot to go through.

[GoldenSnitch]

I’m still not stable. I felt really low the other day. I haven’t been sleeping at all. I had hallucinations (auditory and visual) yesterday. I have zero self control. I’m being super impulsive and spending more money than I should considering I’m making less money while I’m on a leave from work. I see pdoc on Friday so we will see what he says.

[Scooter9]

I'm starting another book. This one will be based on what I have learned about using Instagram to get followers and grow your online presence from zero followers to hundreds.

This book is in addition to the one that I'm already working on about astronomy. But that one is on hold at the moment because I'm taking photos for it. So I'm not writing that one at the moment but an still working on it.

I'm trying to stay busy and keep my mood up through this depression I'm in, so I thought I might as well sick with what I'm good at: teaching and writing.

[Sunflower123]

I’m working on the house and I can do one task then have to sit down for 15-20 minutes due to back pain then another and so on. Bending over is excruciating. I know when I hurt it...in February helping my mom. I thought if I babied it then it would go away. I guess not. Time for the doctor. A little apprehensive. I need this healed and to get back to functioning. Water aerobics and the hot tub afterwards soothes it so I’m thinking(?) it’s muscular. Any thoughts are welcome.

Our leader in bible study is doing a really, really good series right now on worry, anxiety and toxic thinking as well as living in our strengths. I’ve learned a lot and it has helped me make a few break throughs in relation to those things. My attitude and outlook are changing with these things (including my therapist) occurring in my life right now.

I hope everyone is having a peaceful week. Warm wishes and hugs to all.

[hopeless2015]

Haven't felt very worky the last 2 days. Oh well 2 more hours and I can go home. I have plenty to do just not feeling it lol. I have a vacation day scheduled on the 17th and getting highlights put in my hair for the first time ever. I'm really looking forward to that.

Hugs to all

[bpforever1]

I am doing well. I feel fine. I went to the dentist yesterday and had a cavity. Oh no!! I have to go again to fix my other cavity which is falling apart. I walked for over an hour this morning. Then, I washed two loads of laundry. I weighed myself and have not gained any weight after eating a lot yesterday. I ate yogurt and drank hot cocoa this morning too. I am happy. Life is good. The weather here is terrible but my mood is stable.