I had a rather down mood today. I think my still slightly new therapist had never seen me so low. She even said I looked pale and...something else I forget. Our visits are usually quite full of high-paced talk.

I'm still not feeling good about Friday despite talking about it with my therapist, but when I got home I did clean up the kitchen, the bedroom, and the living room. That's good.

I've been so extraordinarily thirsty lately. I guess because of the weather. I'm not on Lithium.

I've been doing quite well for awhile now (months). Today, not so much. Struggled to get up, very irritable and depressed. Everything and everyone is annoying the **** out of me. Fortunately, I have a T appt (first actual therapy appointment since November) today. The weather's rapidly going into summer temps this week, and I loathe summer. That surely doesn't help matters. I don't even really know what to say. Hopefully it's just a blip. Guess we'll see.

Also, apparently I now have allergies. Never have before really (except dust mites, but whaddya gonna do). My roommate gave me some allergy pills. My windpipe feels like a bale of hay is in there. My eyes are pretty much clearing, FINALLY, but damn, this windpipe thing is awful! Went to sleep a couple nights ago with the windows open to let the cool air in and woke up croaking like a frog.

Sigh. Don't mind me.

[giddykitty]

This Saturday is the day I'm supposed to talk to my pdoc about coming off the Abilify for the weight gain, etc. Hopefully it goes smoothly and I don't get any withdrawal symptoms.

I'm a little anxious about it because I've a new cooking schedule and sleep schedule and I don't want either of those to get off. I'd guess I'd better get organized and start a journal too for when I go off it. Sigh, I'm so bad at notetaking, at least I'm out of practice anyway. I'm just anxious about getting anxious. Like I said, hopefully I'll be fine.

what else? I started a walking program, but have gotten off of it again because I'm on my feet a lot more. Actually, today I might not be so maybe I should sneak in the walk. Idk I get achey and I hate that. We will see. It's cold, wet and gloomy today. Makes me not want to do anything. Hence the procrastination of coming on the forums today. hehe

[Moose72]

I went to the bank this morning. My stupid car is inthe shop yet again. Its the alternator that went bad this time. Plus a tie rod- dunno it that came totally undone? Last year I hit a huge pothole around a manhole- I misjudged how big it actually was. Tie rod came completely off that time. Dunno if its the same one? I did drive past that spot 2 days ago and they've filled the hole in.

So, since the car's been in the shop all day, I've been home cleaning. Got the trash out, the kitchen clean, and some laundry done. Mid-40's today- I was in shorts yesterday as it was 70!

I think I'm a lot less manic now that Ive been on Seroquel for several days- a week? Still feel like the world is technicolor- all that awesome greengreen grass, the flowers, the trees in bud.... But on the other hand, I napped for 3 hours today! Ikes!

[BeyondtheRainbow]

Bird Dancer-Seroquel made me really thirsty, the higher the dose the more so (and I went up to 1500 mg so I really got to try that theory out). Really cold water helped.

[MsSunflower]

Originally Posted by BeyondtheRainbow

Bird Dancer-Seroquel made me really thirsty, the higher the dose the more so (and I went up to 1500 mg so I really got to try that theory out). Really cold water helped.

I agree. I'm always thirsty after I take it but I think the Lithium plays a part too. You took 1500mg? I'm on 300mg at night and find it quite sedating. Can't even imagine taking that much. Or does it work differently at that high of a dose?

[BeyondtheRainbow]

Originally Posted by MsSunflower

I agree. I'm always thirsty after I take it but I think the Lithium plays a part too. You took 1500mg? I'm on 300mg at night and find it quite sedating. Can't even imagine taking that much. Or does it work differently at that high of a dose?

I think it is less sedating at higher doses. I took part IR and part XR to help me sleep which worked at 1200 mg until I had a severe mixed episode and then it did nothing for sleep (neither did anything else). I do thinkk the hope was that 1500 mg would sedate me more than 1200 mg but it didn't work that way. I was on 1200 mg for a few years and 1500 mg for only a month or so.

Lithium definitely increases thirst. I was always thirsty when I was on it no matter what the combination.

[Moose72]

Originally Posted by BeyondtheRainbow

Bird Dancer-Seroquel made me really thirsty, the higher the dose the more so (and I went up to 1500 mg so I really got to try that theory out). Really cold water helped.

I am having a dry mouth from Seroquel. Doesn't help if my nose is stuffed up from allergies and I have to breathe through my mouth at night.

[wildflowerchild25]

Work has been going well. I have been subbing in different classrooms. I’m going to get my sub certificate so I can sub for teachers too. It just costs $125 so I have to take some money from my savings. My savings is going to take a real hit if we get this house because I’ll have to pay deposits and first months rent. And then we have to buy furniture because we’re both living with our parents so we don’t have any.

I’m seriously hoping we get this house. To finally be out of my mom’s is like a dream. And to be moving in with RS is also a dream. I love him so much. He’s still on vacation and I miss him. He’s going to come over on Saturday when he gets home though so it’s not so bad.

Doing pretty well moodwise so that’s good!

[gina_re]

Today was good. I went to my sister's house as planned. I love being around her kids! That always brightens my day. I guess I have to go out tomorrow and buy gifts for my nephew's and aunt's bday and mother's day. Hopefully I can get up tomorrow and do so.

[Pookyl]

After the flu for three weeks I’m still as sick as a dog. Mental illness and the flu are not a happy mix.

[TheSeaCat]

Hello all; I hope everyone is doing well. Today was rough for me; I had someone quit; plus training someone; plus interviews. I felt like a chicken missing it's head. I will be glad when this weekend is over with and it's the weekend.

I am still doing great on the new medication; no side effects; no hypo feelings; just stability across the board.

Hugs to everyone

[Wander]

Hi and hugs to all.

Took my partner home this morning. We had a great few days together. True down time. Still, my mind would at times be flooded with awful memories, and I would stare in to space and disappear. My partner has been with me (except for a few years after our divorce - long story) for sixteen years. Half of that he saw me go through much worse PTSD than what I am experiencing right now, so he is great and helpful at helping me out of the dissociative state. I still haven't talked to anyone but my T about what is going on in my brain.

Saw my T today. After discussing more details I told him I need this thing to go away as I am struggling to cope so I'm worried the Bipolar will tag along. Then we focused on whether or not I wanted to keep talking about it (we are only three sessions in). I doubt that will stop the flood of memories that started before the trauma therapy, but it may be worth a try. I have so much more recent trauma to work through somehow. I just want to stay alive, which means avoid a mixed state as bad as the last. As the trauma was crippling me we opened the chat but it has suddenly taken me places I did not want to go.

In the end my T and I agreed not to talk about earlier traumas and focus on honing in my coping skills while being open to discussing more recent trauma. This trauma I cannot escape from now. I would much prefer to file it and move on but it is demanding my attention. I have tried to shut it off to no avail. Hopefully, by facing the more recent stuff I can heal quickly and shut down the old stuff.

Now I just need the Bipolar to stay put.

[Unrigged64072835]

Really irritable the past few days. Been outside going to parks and the zoo. Lots of graduates, lots of little kids, lots of distracted and impatient drivers. My ability to deal with people is shot. I almost bit off the server’s head during our anniversary dinner yesterday. Thankfully the manager was funny and well mannered. Manners seem to be a thing that’s lost nowadays.

I also have some more neat pics on Flickr.

Today won’t be any better. Groceries, med refill, and labs for next week. Hopefully I can do some sewing before it gets too hot.

[Gabyunbound]

Can't sleep, taking two 1mg klonopin at night instead of one to sleep (I give the first one time to work, take it early, and wheras it usually knocks me out, is doing nothing at all).

I'm talkative.

Nothing too concerning yet. I'm just afraid I'm heading toward hypo. If it gets worse, if it tunrs into true hypomania, I'll call my pdoc. I think. During the happy-happy part, I tend not to, until it turns bad...

Originally Posted by BeyondtheRainbow

Bird Dancer-Seroquel made me really thirsty, the higher the dose the more so (and I went up to 1500 mg so I really got to try that theory out). Really cold water helped.

Thanks for the share on this from a few folks here. I think you're right that perhaps my Seroquel XR is the culprit. It doesn't really give me dry mouth. Or at least not bad dry mouth. Just the insatiable thirst. It doesn't always give me this thirst, but I am thinking the weather is the trigger. I know Seroquel can increase body heat and temp sensitivity. I've been sweating A LOT lately.

I read a number of posts in this thread. Good wishes to all. I"m glad to read that some have been having some good days. To those with some struggles/challenges, many hugs.

My sister just called me. She said that my brother took my father to the hospital yet again. He is again in crisis, mentally and physically. Suicidal. I hope that they keep him, even against his will. Last time he was only in the psych hospital for 24 hours before being transferred to a general hospital for breathing and oxygen level issues. Then after a few days there they allowed him to go home, even though the psych hospital was expecting him back. The hospital put him on an antidepressant, which I believe was not a wise idea, or at least not as a sole psych medication, but when he left, he refused to continue taking even that. He did no follow-up with any doctor whatsoever.

Everyone in the family believes my father has always had bipolar disorder, but he will not accept it. He's been willing to acknowledge anxiety and depression only. His mother had bipolar disorder with psychotic episodes. That, we know, traumatized him as a teen. It even led to him being hospitalized for a "nervous breakdown" at 17 years old. Throughout his life, he has clearly shown at least hypomanic behavior, if not manic. As many people with bipolar disorder do, he won't recognize that behavior. He knows that my sister has an official bipolar diagnosis, I do (with several psych hospitalizations and disability), and my late nephew did (with several psych hospitalizations, disability, and suicide). Stigma is still strong in his mind. Who knows, maybe he received an official bipolar diagnosis in the past, but never told us. In any case, my brother shared the family history with every doctor at every hospital my father has been in lately.

I told my sister that if she or I have any chance to talk to a doctor managing my dad's case, that we might suggest that if they wish to prescribe an antidepressant, that they ALSO consider prescribing some kind of moodstabilizing medication for bipolar, too. What harm does that do? Many people even with unipolar depression take an antipsychotic or bipolar moodstabilizer. The thing is, would my father accept that?

It's highly possible that my father may not last much longer, given his physical and mental state. My siblings and I are preparing ourselves for this possibility.

I have avoided my dad since he was in the general hospital last time. I have intended to at least call him in a few days. It may possibly be a visit to the hospital (psych or general). Where he is this time (a different general hospital), they have a psych wing that offers full psych services. He can also request transfer to the psych hospital he was briefly in over a week ago, a much much better place.

The thought that my father could lose his life like my nephew did is beyond sad.

I went out on a limb and listen to my pdoc and took the 15mg of zyprexa and two Remeron tablets (forget the dose). I'm angry as hell today and I want to smash my head on something. I'm having suicidal thoughts too. No plans (yet). This disorder sucks. The treatment sucks.

Edit: and you know what else sucks? No one wants to help me. My actual pdoc's office just called and pushed my appointment out a week. Not like I needed to, because apparently everyone and their brother thinks I'm psychotic. Nope. I can totally go an extra week...

I HATE my job. So.*******.much.

That is all.

[yellow_fleurs]

BirdDancer I am so sorry about your dad, I really hope that he gets the right treatment this time.

Spikes, that must be frustrating to be rescheduled when you need help. Do they know how you are doing? Maybe if they did they could try to fit you in?

Innerzone, working at a job you hate is tough. It's so much of your daily life that I know it can really affect you. I hope things improve or you don't have to stay at that job too long.

[xRavenx]

I'm just going through the motions. I feel I need to keep busy, or I start having some really bad thoughts. One thing that is bothering me, is that I am horrible at keeping up with day-to-day tasks, and I wish that would change. It makes me feel like a failure. My brother and I got into an argument, and he began to belittle me, so that was discouraging. It only makes me want to isolate and cut off contact further with everyone, because I'm in a vulnerable spot right now. So far with Latuda, I seem to be tolerating it okay physically. It's only been a few days though, so I can't really tell yet what it will do for me, but I'm trying to remain hopeful.

[yellow_fleurs]

Doing okay, but the irritability is increasing due to hormones again. While expected it is really hard to act "normal" during the day at work. I have insight mostly and know what's going on it's just this constant irritable, angry, can't sit still feeling I get every month. I am trying to take walks during breaks to ease the restlessness and clear my head. Crossing my fingers I don't have a total meltdown this month and stay mostly level headed.

I am trying to figure out a next step with my physical health issues. Maybe I can ask about PT because they could help me with the joint issues or would at least see me long enough to realize that it impairs my functioning. Not sure the doctors have been taking it as seriously as I would like given the affect to my quality of life.

Garden is sprouting up nicely. It's nice to see our hard work turn into something. Hoping everyone has a good night!

[TheSeaCat]

Hi all; I hope everyone is doing okay. I am feeling pretty tired today. Still training; still interviewing; and still reading applications. Plus it's nurses week so I am a busy person.

After work R and I went to get our nails done since I wanted fresh claws for graduation. So now my claws are pretty again. After getting my nails done; I picked M up and we went to church for Bible Study.

I still feel really good on strictly an antidepressant. I am of the Prilozec for the medication induced GERD. So that is one less medication I have got to worry about. Still taking the Busprione for anxiety; but I am back to two strictly psych medications. I still am on other medications for my physical health; but I feel okay with this combo; it's working and I don't have any side effects.

Hugs to everyone

[Wander]

Just saw my pdoc. Bipolar wise I am well but the PTSD is difficult to manage. Thankfully my pdoc specialises in trauma and gave me great advice. Now I’m a bit shaken after simply bringing up the general picture of some of the trauma. Back to staring at walls after that. Trying to use coping skills my T has given me but I resist practicing so I’m ready.

Other than that I’m well. Hope everyone here is ok.

[MsSunflower]

Well it's now 3am and I can't sleep. I don't know what's happening to me. I don't usually have insomnia since I've taken seroquel. Just suddenly isn't working the same