[Wild Coyote]

Wow. I am so exhausted.

4 weeks ago when my life had changed drastically I was up at 4 a.m. every morning cleaning etc.

There was so much going on and so much to try to understand, so much to try to grasp etc., I'd needed long days and short nights to stand a chance.

I couldn't sleep. Pdoc put me on Seroquel at night. I then needed some during the day too.

Now I am sleeping 10 hours at night and am still wiped out. I am increasingly irritable. I feel like I am crashing. I am very concerned about this as I have more yet to do. The nightmare is far from over; it has only just begun.

I am resting today. Or am trying to do so.

Thanks, everyone, for your support .

[sadveiledbride]

I am sad and worried for this week.

[Victoria'smom]

I don't think my husband hates me (at least right now). I'm pretty much mute and withdrawn. I can't do anything dramatic. Tonight at midnight my son and I have to fill out college applications. Things aren't working out this way I think I maybe more sick then I lead on. There is no help for me. I have 17 days until I see my new T but I have nothing to say. I hate sitting in a silent room with a therapist (aka. stranger) I always feel like I'm in trouble in their office.

[Moose72]

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

Wow. I am so exhausted.

4 weeks ago when my life had changed drastically I was up at 4 a.m. every morning cleaning etc.

There was so much going on and so much to try to understand, so much to try to grasp etc., I'd needed long days and short nights to stand a chance.

I couldn't sleep. Pdoc put me on Seroquel at night. I then needed some during the day too.

Now I am sleeping 10 hours at night and am still wiped out. I am increasingly irritable. I feel like I am crashing. I am very concerned about this as I have more yet to do. The nightmare is far from over; it has only just begun.

I am resting today. Or am trying to do so.

Thanks, everyone, for your support .

Just a note~ acouple months ago when I was put on Seroquel for mania, it knocked me out too. I felt like I'd been run over "by a heard of wet buffalo"- during the day! So I hope you get used to it soon too.

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by Moose72

Just a note~ acouple months ago when I was put on Seroquel for mania, it knocked me out too. I felt like I'd been run over "by a heard of wet buffalo"- during the day! So I hope you get used to it soon too.

Thanks! I have been on Seroquel for at least 7 weeks, with some increases. I think my reaction at this time has much to do with me crashing. I was doing just fine with it... yet am now crashing, it seems?
I'd rested/slept off and on all day today.

I'd love it if it was all due to Seroquel. I could just decrease/eliminate the Serquel and would be fine I hope.

Thanks Again!

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by sadveiledbride

I am sad and worried for this week.

I hope this week surprises you and becomes much easier than you anticipate.
Please do let us know how your week is going?
Much

[tecomsin]

Seroquel also knocked me out when I was on it in 2008 when first diagnosed. It was also awful to get off of. I would never take it again. I was a zombie.

I have had bouts of tears today over the upcoming death of my father. I talked with him again on the phone. He could understand me but I had difficulty understanding him. I told him that I loved him and he said he loved me too.

There is a lot of pain associated with that feeling. It's been a tough day.

[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

Wow. I am so exhausted.

4 weeks ago when my life had changed drastically I was up at 4 a.m. every morning cleaning etc.

There was so much going on and so much to try to understand, so much to try to grasp etc., I'd needed long days and short nights to stand a chance.

I couldn't sleep. Pdoc put me on Seroquel at night. I then needed some during the day too.

Now I am sleeping 10 hours at night and am still wiped out. I am increasingly irritable. I feel like I am crashing. I am very concerned about this as I have more yet to do. The nightmare is far from over; it has only just begun.

I am resting today. Or am trying to do so.

Thanks, everyone, for your support .

I’m worried that your body and mind are going to reach a breaking point if that “man” doesn’t let up. I wish for you the strength to keep going until you are through the other side. Thinking of you.

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

I’m worried that your body and mind are going to reach a breaking point if that “man” doesn’t let up. I wish for you the strength to keep going until you are through the other side. Thinking of you.

Thank you! I am also concerned about this, especially after "losing" a few days last week. I know I had done okay on/during those days; yet they are a blur to me. Definitely a sign that it was getting to be too much last week.

I was reading up a bit and realized that MANY women are "at the mercy of" their "ex," due to the usual disparity in income. I could be in deep financial trouble if I say what I truly feel. He can withhold anything he wants to withhold. I'd have to file suit if he'd decided to ignore the court order, etc. It is a terrible situation for most women to be in.

As Fharraige has mentioned there is a lot of emotional abuse involved, as well. Each time I'd made an additional discovery and had mentioned it to him, his responses were very abusive. All of the lying, the ongoing deception is also emotionally abusive, along with the "gaslighting," which he does every chance he gets. He has turned into a nightmare ever since I had discovered some of what he was/is up to. Prior to that, he was quite polite.

Thanks for caring!

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by tecomsin

Seroquel also knocked me out when I was on it in 2008 when first diagnosed. It was also awful to get off of. I would never take it again. I was a zombie.

I have had bouts of tears today over the upcoming death of my father. I talked with him again on the phone. He could understand me but I had difficulty understanding him. I told him that I loved him and he said he loved me too.

There is a lot of pain associated with that feeling. It's been a tough day.

Your day sounds like it has been quite emotional.
I am glad you both were able to express your love for one another.

Re: seroquel, I did not really have a choice. I had needed some sleep. I am not in favor of using APs for sleep. My pdoc has tried allowing me to have sleep meds; yet, I cannot tolerate them or they do not work.

BIG HUGS TO YOU, TECOMSIN!!! :HUG: :LOVE: :HUG:

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by tecomsin

Seroquel also knocked me out when I was on it in 2008 when first diagnosed. It was also awful to get off of. I would never take it again. I was a zombie.


I have had bouts of tears today over the upcoming death of my father. I talked with him again on the phone. He could understand me but I had difficulty understanding him. I told him that I loved him and he said he loved me too.


There is a lot of pain associated with that feeling. It's been a tough day.

I’m glad you have been able to speak with him. Losing a parent is so traumatic even if it’s not a close relationship.

Especially in times like this, try and go easy on yourself.

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by BirdDancer

@whatever2013, that's so sweet of you to contactremember such details about our little guy


Thanks again to everyone for your kind words! Today we will go to my father's woods and he will join our last parrot.

I am so sorry for your loss. I hope today will help you heal as you process the loss.

((((( BirdDancer)))))

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

I’ve got a busy day planned: my mom, M and I are going to the local market today. The theme is red, white and blueberries. Definitely going to get another huge bouquet of flowers and blueberries. It’s going to be so hot, we’re going to stop by BR for our favorite ice cream then jump in the pool.


Wednesday, M and I are going to an event put on by the symphony where they play by the river and at the end of the concert there is a huge fireworks display set off over the river off one of the three bridges. I haven’t been for years and M has never been. Really looking forward to it.


I hope everyone has a peaceful day.

Sounds like a fantastic day

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

Wow. I am so exhausted.


4 weeks ago when my life had changed drastically I was up at 4 a.m. every morning cleaning etc.


There was so much going on and so much to try to understand, so much to try to grasp etc., I'd needed long days and short nights to stand a chance.


I couldn't sleep. Pdoc put me on Seroquel at night. I then needed some during the day too.


Now I am sleeping 10 hours at night and am still wiped out. I am increasingly irritable. I feel like I am crashing. I am very concerned about this as I have more yet to do. The nightmare is far from over; it has only just begun.


I am resting today. Or am trying to do so.


Thanks, everyone, for your support .

I worry about you daily , but you are strong and I know you can continue your quest, I feel you need to uncover every slimes rock he has been under, I would do the same.

Always here for you

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by Miguel'smom

I don't think my husband hates me (at least right now). I'm pretty much mute and withdrawn. I can't do anything dramatic. Tonight at midnight my son and I have to fill out college applications. Things aren't working out this way I think I maybe more sick then I lead on. There is no help for me. I have 17 days until I see my new T but I have nothing to say. I hate sitting in a silent room with a therapist (aka. stranger) I always feel like I'm in trouble in their office.

Hopefully things will improve if ever so slightly before your T session. I think as you often advise people to just write down somethings that are the problem then just hand it to your T and they can help start some dialogue.

I’m late getting on here but we’re you able to call molester some of the applications?

[~Christina]

Wild,

I’m so glad that you and RS were able to go have some fun!

Happy the dreams have stopped, it’s likely you will always have some nightmares, you have ptsd over the event and unfortunately it’s going to rear it’s ugly head at times , nature of the beast. I bet as you truly settle into your own home with RS they will lessen further.

I bet you just breezed right through that written test !

[Nevvy]

I really have trust issues and need to stop being so negative... Not sure how though. I have this stupid anxiety, too, not entirely sure what's going on.

At least I'm very productive right now? Waxed the floor, cleaned the house, going to clean the storage this afternoon. Probably going to do more of a detail on the house later.

I've been really thinking about my BP lately, and thinking what it would be like if I had a detox (I can do it at the clinic I'm at, and they'll keep me for two weeks) just to see what happens. I'm a little tired of the pharmacy I take, but I also don't want to mess with things too much...but a reset is somehow okay in my head?

I dunno, maybe I'm getting a tiny bit mixed now, time to have a chat with my nurse (already have an appointment this week).

Oh well, just another day I guess

[Nevvy]

Yeah, emailed my nurse, definitely mixed again.

Last time it happened I forgot how I managed to pull out of it, but she gave some good advice and told me what I should do in the meantime (she will talk to a pdoc before my appointment). This also bothers me...my pdoc moved to a different clinic, so I am sort of in-between them, so I can't just email one (outside of the general BP clinic email).

It has been going well for so long, it had to change at some point, haha. Hey, hopefully the house is nice and organized before I come down? That would be cool

[Wander]

PTSD has been spiraling out of control. I want to live, and I’m fighting so hard. Still, I’m backed into a corner and overwhelmed beyond belief. My mind is cracking. The last place I want to be is IP. It will only make me feel more trapped and traumatised. With my current presentation I fear my T will want me IP as I’m losing control. He is a good guy and will only want me safe but IP may make things worse. I see him Wednesday. I’m in trouble and he will see it. I will try to play things down but he knows me so well. Everything is falling apart. I don’t know what to do. It is possible I’m about to psychologically snap any minute and then anything could happen. I can’t find the way out which terrifies me. So much going on that I can’t tell. This is impossible.

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by Wander

PTSD has been spiraling out of control. I want to live, and I’m fighting so hard. Still, I’m backed into a corner and overwhelmed beyond belief. My mind is cracking. The last place I want to be is IP. It will only make me feel more trapped and traumatised. With my current presentation I fear my T will want me IP as I’m losing control. He is a good guy and will only want me safe but IP may make things worse. I see him Wednesday. I’m in trouble and he will see it. I will try to play things down but he knows me so well. Everything is falling apart. I don’t know what to do. It is possible I’m about to psychologically snap any minute and then anything could happen. I can’t find the way out which terrifies me. So much going on that I can’t tell. This is impossible.

(((((( wander ))))))

Thinking of you.

[sadveiledbride]

Going okay today, so far. I have to see my psychiatrist after all and am really not prepared to be yelled at. For no good reason, either. Suck it up, right? Tough love is what people seem to really like in this world.
I am hungry and sad, sick of living with my debilitating mindset which allows me to overthink everything. I seem to be buried under these thoughts.
Hope you all on this thread are well.

Flying high right now! Only been enjoying it for the past hour or so, but I'm all sweaty. I'm trying to calm myself down because I have to go to IOP to see if I can get meds that I don't have today and I don't want to be tossed in IP. IOP is way better than IP. One letter makes a difference ya know. Ya know?

[sadveiledbride]

It’s not going okay now. I am very sad and In a bad place

[Sunflower123]

I see my NP tomorrow. I am hopeful that I can get a new med combo or an adjustment in order to become more stable.

M gets off work in a few minutes and we’re going to float then run around. Enjoying time with her.

Need to get back on track in several areas. Will work on that starting today.

Warm wishes to all.

[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by sadveiledbride

It’s not going okay now. I am very sad and In a bad place

I’m sorry you are struggling so. I’m sending virtual hugs and supportive vibes. I hope you see light at the end of the tunnel soon.