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#326
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Got the tree decorated finally!
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Qui Cantat Bis Orat ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 4.5 mg Risperdal .5 mg ![]() Gabapentin 300 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily |
![]() Anonymous46341, bpcyclist, Nammu, Wild Coyote, yellow_fleurs
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![]() Wild Coyote, ~Christina
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#327
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My pdoc's office called back and I am scheduled for the end of January. I asked if I needed to do any new patient paperwork and they said not to worry about it. They know me pretty well at this point, so I think they didn't see the point in making me do all that. I mean I was seeing this pdoc weekly for awhile. I am feeling good about this, and I'll have some time to write up what I want to discuss when I visit. It helps that I have more insight into the OCD now and am not completely lost as to what's going on in my brain, so I'll be able to explain all of that.
Feeling a little irritable today, I think too much caffeine plus sugar. However, I have started to eat full breakfasts that include protein and I do think that's helping with my anxiety and focus throughout the day. Due to the OCD and all the other issues, I have not been as active in my community and what is going on around the world as I normally would be because the news would trigger me into a really bad place and then I would be incapacitated. At that point I felt I was unable to keep up with basic tasks and be a good family member, friend, worker, etc. So I had to kind of focus on that first. I am hoping I am at a point where I can become more aware and involved, and pay attention to what's going on more (it'll be a form of exposure therapy in a way) and still remain functioning mentally. So, that is a plan of mine. |
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![]() Wild Coyote, ~Christina
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#328
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I need to write to T from now on. Whether she reads it or not is besides the point. Today I didn't say anything important. I'm getting frustrating myself.
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Dx: Me- SzA Husband- Bipolar 1 Daughter- mood disorder+ Comfortable broken and happy "So I don't know why I'm tongue tied At the wrong time when I need this."- P!nk My blog |
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![]() downandlonely, Wild Coyote, ~Christina
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#329
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Today was a little better (I used some of the tricks my therapist and @whatever2013 mentioned). I had some very overwhelming moments and really wish I could call in tomorrow. At least I will have Saturday off. I don't know how to handle this job. I feel like I'm drowning with every call I get. I gotta get a hold of myself, I'm losing it. I'm doing alright other than that. I just hope to end the year on a good note, not excess worry and stress.
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![]() Anonymous41462, Anonymous45023, Anonymous46341, bpcyclist, downandlonely, Nammu, Wild Coyote
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![]() Wild Coyote, ~Christina
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#330
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Quote:
I’m sorry ![]()
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Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
![]() Wild Coyote
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![]() Wild Coyote
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#331
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Quote:
Good news !!!! Yep another pill ... but a much needed one ![]()
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Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
![]() Nammu, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
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![]() Nammu, Wild Coyote
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#332
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Quote:
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![]() bpcyclist, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
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![]() Nammu, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
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#333
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Quote:
Very cool about the book ! But o think your cookies would have been better !!! Enjoy having more time with your husband, it’s nice he has time off.
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Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
![]() Anonymous46341, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
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![]() bpcyclist, Wild Coyote
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#334
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Wander I am sorry, I hope you're feeling better.
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![]() bpcyclist, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
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![]() Wild Coyote
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#335
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Glad your feeling better and have many things planned out ![]() New hair styles can always give us a boost. ![]()
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Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
![]() bpcyclist, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
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![]() Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
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#336
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__________________
Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
![]() Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
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![]() Wild Coyote
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#337
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Quote:
So glad you have an appt set up , one less thing to worry about ! You have good insight and can make good choices to get back on track ![]()
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Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
![]() Sunflower123
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![]() yellow_fleurs
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#338
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My oldest sister came over today. I made my shrimp pasta lunch and she did dishes. She ended up deep cleaning the sink. I've never seen it so white! She's a little Dynamo once she gets going on cleaning she can't stop. Was nice to have her over tho.
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Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
![]() Anonymous41462, Anonymous46341, Blue_Bird, bpcyclist, Sunflower123
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![]() Blue_Bird, ~Christina
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#339
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Busy day .. had to go get the mail stopped. Then on to Hellmart to get tires rotated and balanced. Well I couldn’t find the original receipts of buying the tires, we always buy the lifetime rotate, balance ... guy was looking it up and wasn’t finding it .... I think I might have flirted a bit ?! Anyway I didn’t have to pay 48.00 so it’s all goooooood LOL
Picked up my meds and grabbed some snacks for the drive and just threw wings in my Airfryer I might over serve myself some Xanax tonight , I really need at least 6 hours I’d prefer 12 but I’ll take any I can get. My pain is terrible today. I insisted my husband stay home and work on his back it’s been out since Saturday !! He’s in awful pain. If it doesn’t work it’s self out, I’ll have to load and unload everything and all the driving. Sigh Anyone else have a Airfryer and love it ?!!
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Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
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![]() Nammu, yellow_fleurs
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#340
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Christina, glad you didn't have to pay for the tire rotation! I hope you get some rest tonight. I am really sorry you are having terrible pain. I wish there was more we could do to help. I am sending lots of compassion.
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![]() Anonymous46341, Sunflower123
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![]() ~Christina
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#341
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My sister has an air fryer, she loves it. Yeah do treat yourself to a X tonight. You need all the sleep you can get.
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Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
![]() Sunflower123
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![]() ~Christina
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#342
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Things have been strange lately. Severe depression but also with bursts of energy and laughing/euphoria. I feel like reality is slipping away. Keep thinking my meds are poisoning me and feeling like my brain is melting/falling apart. I called my therapist and made an appointment for Monday. I'm just doing everything I can to avoid going to the hospital, I haven't been there in 3 years and don't want to have to go again.
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“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi Diagnosis: Schizoaffective disorder Bipolar type PTSD Social Anxiety Disorder Anorexia Binge/Purge type |
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![]() bizi, ~Christina
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#343
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It’s been a big 24hrs for our household. My son graduated yesterday from his first degree. DH and I had to hire a car and we drove with our daughter 2hrs to my son’s university.
After the ceremony we had a celebratory lunch and my husband took me clothes shopping. Then he later took me out for dinner prior to returning the hire car. I was so anxious all day that I was close to panic. Despite taking Valium and doing all the right things it felt like I was drowning in the waves of anxiety. Of course I felt fine when I was finally home and in my pj’s. I’m being taught to treat anxiety like waves that I’m meant to bob up and down in. The problem is the waves feel so big and chaotic that I keep visualising that I’m drowning. I know anxiety can’t kill me but still....
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Pookyl ———————————————————————————— BP1, GAD, Panic Disorder, Agoraphobia, Claustrophobia Psych meds: Saphris, Seroquel XR, regular Seroquel. PRN Diazepam and Zopiclone |
![]() Anonymous41462, Anonymous45023, Anonymous46341, bizi, Nammu, Sunflower123, Unrigged64072835
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![]() bizi, ~Christina
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#344
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Things are bad. Really bad. I’m not going to be discharged by Christmas as Christmas is a major trigger. I’m barely managing not getting locked up. I’m so emotional. Finally I’ve told my Mum why Christmas is bad (I was abused every Christmas growing up). She was upset but supportive. I know she blames herself so I don’t want to add to that burden.
Why it has all hit me after having that injection and conversion with my T is uncertain. I think talking about it was the trigger, but it had to be talked about as the flashbacks were bad. I have strong SI but would never in my right mind do this to my loved ones at Christmas. I can’t stop crying. I feel overwhelmed. The nurses are being very supportive but my pdoc never shows up, and he knows how much it does my head in when he promises to show but doesn’t. He’s lost my trust again. I’m allowed out for a few hours with my Mum as they know I would never run with her there as cause her that distress. At least while still in my right mind. I’m scared I’m going to snap soon tough. I’m scared.
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Bipolar 1 with psychotic features PTSD ![]() "Phew! For a minute there I lost myself." 'Karma Police' by Radiohead |
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![]() bizi, ~Christina
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#345
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I’m so sorry you’ve had such a tough day. I’m glad you have an appt on Monday ! How do you plan to manage until then ?!? How can I help ? ![]()
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Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
![]() bizi, Blue_Bird, Sunflower123
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![]() Blue_Bird
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#346
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Congratulations for your Son !! Did you find anything nice when you were shopping ?? Anxiety is really about riding the waves, white knuckle at times. I hope your Valium starts to give you assistance to calm the anxiety more ![]()
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Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
![]() Sunflower123
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#347
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It’s riding the waves that I struggle with. Maybe I need a different analogy. In real I’ve almost drowned in the ocean a couple of times. So in real life I’m scared of waves. I think I need to imagine riding a different type of waves - any suggestions??
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Pookyl ———————————————————————————— BP1, GAD, Panic Disorder, Agoraphobia, Claustrophobia Psych meds: Saphris, Seroquel XR, regular Seroquel. PRN Diazepam and Zopiclone |
![]() Nammu, Sunflower123
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#348
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![]() I'm basically doing everything I can, distractions, relaxation techniques, etc . It's hard when an altered sense of reality takes over me though. Right now I'm listening to music and just made a Christmas card to mail out to a friend. I have my cats relaxing with me. One is on me right now purring and snuggling
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“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi Diagnosis: Schizoaffective disorder Bipolar type PTSD Social Anxiety Disorder Anorexia Binge/Purge type |
![]() Sunflower123
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![]() ~Christina
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#349
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I’m sorry things have taken a turn , again. There’s a few things you might not realize. You recently had to get off Haldol because it causes vision problems... but The Haldol and your deciding to just get help was what allowed your mind to quiet. Now no Haldol? Of course your going to backslide and the world is going to tilt again. What medication is being tried now? and yes “ tried “ is really what treating bipolar is all about ... “trying” meds to see if they fit or not Your parents are always a trigger so lately your allowing them to be around you a lot more than when you are just in your home. Why even see them right now ? Especially right now?? How can that help you feel better/more stable?? I’m sorry your Pdoc isn’t showing when he says..defiantly ask him why he’s not showing. If Christmas is a trigger for you then you are in the best place you can be. You are in a safe place , safe place. Take in a deep slow breath..
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Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
![]() bizi, Sunflower123
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![]() bizi
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#350
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Glad you found some cute stuff ![]() Ok waves are out. ..... How about the winds ? Like how birds coast in the air?!! downdrafts happen but the birds swing back up and hover/coast. I’d use roller coasters analogy going up and down but they terrify me lol
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Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
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