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#126
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![]() Anonymous41462, Sunflower123, ~Christina
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#127
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I have done Weight Watchers on about four occasions, in the past. My absolute favorite times were when I followed their former "Core Plan". That was definitely an eating lifestyle. I found the various solely points-based programs a bit less so. I was a bit too lazy to count every single point, so the Core Plan allowed for a little less points counting. It focused on lean meats, whole grains, and other healthful eating, something some solely points based programs don't mandate as much. I really should try a Core Plan type program again. It was my husband's favorite program I followed. He even lost some weight, though he just ate what I cooked and didn't actually count anything. Lucky him! Hubby and I have both put on weight at times during the pandemic. I haven't weighed myself for about a month or so. I feel and see a negative change. Not knowing for sure sometimes gives me license to keep ignoring the issue. I used to blog about my diet/exercise efforts, but haven't for many months. The blogging was a motivator for me. I should continue that. The stop and go of that clearly shows "yo-yo dieting". As you likely imagine, Czech traditional food is far from spa cuisine, and yet on average Czechs are trimmer than Americans. That's because they exercise more. |
![]() buddha1too, Nammu, Sunflower123, ~Christina
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![]() buddha1too, Nammu, Sunflower123, ~Christina
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#128
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@buddha1too:
Congratulations on the weight-loss! What a great result! Glad you've found something that works for you. Tho the fact that you gained back all your 89-pound loss concerns me too. I agree with your brother-in-law,that yo-yo dieting is more harmful to the body than just staying steadily overweight. Are you SURE this time that weight-loss will be permanent? I'm in the same boat myself, of course, so i ask that question of myself too and i'll answer it here. I'm 54 and when i was 41 i lost 65 pounds and felt and looked a lot better. But over the following few years i put it all back on. Now, with the COVID-weight, i'm fatter than ever before. I have trouble turning over in bed, it's so bad. I ask myself what is different this time? Well: This time i have a family, my dog, i've fallen in love with her and i want to give her a more active life, want to walk her by the river, take her swimming, play with her vigorously, etc. Also, it's just hit critical mass. I can't put my shoes on without getting out-of-breath, i have trouble getting up off my sofa (tho it *is* low) and i have to shop for clothes online because they don't have my size retail. Also, i'm asking for help this time, here and from my doctor. Also, i am finally, at long last, in the greatly-anticipated menopause. Sorry if that's TMI. But menopause causes a slow-down in metabolism and muscle-wasting, so i have to take action now so that i don't deteriorate even more. So there are five reasons why i think this time is different. My dog, critical mass, asking for help, shopping in bricks-and-mortar store sizes and menopause. What are your reasons for thinking this time will be different? I'd hate to see you put a lot of effort into something that will only be temporary. This is a serious business we're undertaking. It would help to be clear about what our motivations are. Not trying to be a Debbie Downer, just want us to explore our weight-loss endeavors here and exorcise our demons here in a safe milieu. ![]() Last edited by Anonymous41462; May 18, 2021 at 06:01 AM. |
![]() *Beth*, buddha1too, Nammu, Soupe du jour, Sunflower123, ~Christina
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#129
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@Soupe du jour:
Glad you've found a weight-loss method that works for you. I see we're all concerned about yo-yo dieting. It's clearly not what we want. But it sounds like you're pretty active, all the energy that went into selling your home and relinquishing most of your belongings so you at least SOUND like you're in relatively good shape, walking and hiking, etc. So it sounds like a relatively benign situation with you, just COVID-weight, which many have experienced. Hopefully it will be a relatively simple matter to lose the weight since you have a proven method-of-choice. I'm like 100 pounds overweight and it causes me quite a bit of anguish so i'm in a totally different boat, one with a leak. I'm 40% overweight with a BMI of 43.4 so it's quite serious. Something's gotta give! ![]() Last edited by Anonymous41462; May 18, 2021 at 06:04 AM. |
![]() Nammu, Soupe du jour, Sunflower123, ~Christina
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#130
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@Soupe du jour:
Your view sounds wonderful! Like Ireland, "The Emerald Isle"! Is a picture on the way? ![]() |
![]() Soupe du jour
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#131
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@BeyondtheRainbow:
How caring and empathic of you to be concerned about the welfare of the chickens are taking care of. So glad no harm has come to them. Sorry you hurt yourself, tho! The chickens weren't harmed but *you* were. Ironic. That's funny about feeding the dog off-schedule due to med-haze. I once called to attend a singles brunch at what i thought was 8:00am but it was 8:00pm and it had already taken place that morning. It was the dead of the Canadian Winter here so the outside light is tricky, late dawns and early sunsets. I thought something was wrong when it kept getting darker and darker tho. I just thought a storm was coming. The organizer was just astonished. I was so appalled and thought it was so funny i hung-up laughing my head off. That was early in my benzo use 25 years ago when everything was topsy-turvy. Fun with meds! ![]() Last edited by Anonymous41462; May 18, 2021 at 06:09 AM. |
![]() Nammu, Sunflower123
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#132
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When it comes to BMI, you are correct that your number is notably higher than mine. You also have weight and physical fitness issues that I don't have. But note, there are many out there who look comparatively trim and seem quite active, but still are at great risk. My granddad died young of heart disease. He was trim and active, but his cholesterol and triglycerides were through the roof. He was far from alone. My brother has heart issues. My sister has diabetes type 2. A lot of the women in my family had diabetes type 2, including my grandma who died of kidney failure. Many in my family died from strokes. So far, I've avoided diabetes, but my cholesterol (especially) and triglycerides have been high for a while. My blood pressure became concernedly high a couple years ago. I am on a statin and blood pressure medication, and have been since my early 49th. I've had kidney damage for at least five or six years now, having to see a nephrologist. I understand that perhaps my genes played a part, perhaps a little bit being overweight (doesn't always take much), and perhaps (or likely) my bipolar medications - likely mostly Seroquel XR. Some other past bipolar medications weren't so helpful for my physical health, either. It sucks and adds another challenge for those with more significant weight issues. I'm not trying to compare people's situations/struggles. Just say that unwellness or wellness doesn't always reliably depend on set factors. It can be scary how fragile life can be. I lost my mom when she was only 61 years old. My brother's life was at great risk because of heart issues, at only 54. My youngest nephew died by suicide because of bipolar depression, at only 24. Unpredictable. Now, fresh into my early 50s, I wonder what my future holds. I know that it requires a healthy combination of not being constantly anxious, and working hard to stay as well as possible. Again, in as many respects as possible. And yet, others seem to deal with so much (even so much more) and yet live very long lives. It's curious. Last edited by Soupe du jour; May 18, 2021 at 08:14 AM. |
![]() *Beth*, Anonymous41462, buddha1too, Nammu, Sunflower123, ~Christina
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![]() *Beth*, buddha1too
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#133
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Hubby and I went to an appointment for him, downtown, in order to finally establish his formal residence where we now live. Like so often happens here, we couldn't achieve our goal. There often seems to be something missing, or not right. Today, the clerk said she wouldn't accept a copy of the rental agreement. Had to be "an original". So we left achieving nothing. Hubby made yet another appointment for next Monday, to try again.
I cleaned up around the house in preparation for our handyman friend. I'm tired. My 23rd wedding anniversary is coming up in a few days. I had to order all of the gifts for Hubby, including the card, on Amazon.de. I attempted to order something from a Czech website, but it was so complex I gave up on it. I asked my husband where in the heck we would even buy greeting cards. Pretty much the only places are shops called "papirnictvi". Literally, paper-related shops. But none are nearby and many are not even open. Cards are not available in the florist shops (save ones on flower bouquets), grocery stores, drugeries (special shops that sell only stuff like shampoo/toiletries), or lekarnas (pharmacies) like they do in the US. Even if they sold them, it would be tough to even know what in the heck was written on them, without Google translate. And also, I have yet to really go out much without Hubby. Hopefully next year will be much easier! I confess it would all be easier if we were in France. Where will we settle eventually? France is the other option, but with this pandemic, making preps/explorations have been impossible. Please let this finally end soon! Last edited by Soupe du jour; May 18, 2021 at 10:39 AM. |
![]() *Beth*, Anonymous41462, Anonymous45023, buddha1too, Nammu, Sunflower123, ~Christina
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![]() *Beth*, ~Christina
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#134
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I'm sorry! I was wondering why you'd never mentioned trying to quit smoking... ![]() scatterbrained - Congratulations on the stopping smoking! ![]()
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![]() Anonymous41462
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#135
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It would be excellent if you don't have to wear masks by March! I think there's a good chance you won't have to. Ugh, that traffic delay sounds like such fun... ![]()
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#136
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![]() Anonymous41462
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#137
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A very thoughtful and thought-provoking post, Soupe. Your family situation sounds similar to my own. Who ever knows what's written in the Book of Life....
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![]() Anonymous41462
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#138
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Headed over to the closest Veterans Admin hospital/clinics with my husband to get his eyes checked. I'm going because I'm somewhat anxious about what's going on with his vision and I think he could use my support. I'm hoping for an easy 40 mile trip without any major traffic snags.
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![]() Anonymous41462, Anonymous45023, buddha1too, Soupe du jour, Sunflower123, ~Christina
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#139
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@Soupe du jour and all:
Yeah, it's hard to know how to measure success in life, we tend to focus only on longevity and yet the most successful human i know of, the American author David Foster Wallace, committed suicide at 46. But not after gifting the world many treasures. I agree, it's not possible to tell how healthy a person is by how they look or their habits. Doctors don't even know for certainty. My dad got a clean bill of health three days before he dropped dead of a massive heart attack. I'm not even sure i WANT to live a long life. My dad died at 55 and my mom at 70. The last ten years of her life she was an invalid. Her quality-of-life was very poor. My dad died in church! Not far to go to get to Heaven! I was 18 and at-odds with him, a stupid power-struggle, same as my brother before me, so i didn't suffer too much when my dad died. I didn't wish my dad dead but he was destroying me the way he destroyed my brother before me. My brother committed suicide at 21 when i was 14, so maybe it was for the best that my dad died young. For me anyways! ![]() |
![]() *Beth*, Anonymous45023, buddha1too, Sunflower123, ~Christina
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![]() *Beth*
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#140
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Therapy today was interesting. I was shaking and she commented on that. She said I dress and present myself very male. So I’m glad about that. She said I’m a lot more handsome then she thought. Which I found a bit creepy. She had her mask on when she was bringing me back to her office and then she asked if it would be ok if she took it off because she had both her Covid shots. And I said yeah. Then she asked if I wanted to take mine off. And I said I’d like to keep it on. And she said that was perfectly fine. Basically today she just asked a bunch of questions about how the move went. We talked about my old T and she was curious and wanted to look her up on Facebook and was just about to log into her computer when I told her it would be too triggering. So she immediately stopped. She says she has 70 clients (I asked) and I asked how she remembers them all and she said “notes” and then she says “and some of them stick out like you. I don’t have any other clients who do sessions from their mothers closets.” She admitted to having looked around at the closet and said my mom had some nice stuff especially “the red stuff.” That was also a bit creepy but I didn’t read too much into it except that she seems to remember me. She was pushing a lot at one point about something and I was getting confused and I said “I’m being contradictory aren’t I?” And she laughed and said “yeah.” I just get confused when I’m pushed a lot.
But it was so nice doing in person sessions again even if the therapist was a bit wonky. I got to decide what kind of shoes I wanted to wear to therapy for the first time in a long time.
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"Good morning starshine.... the earth says hello"- Willy Wonka |
![]() *Beth*, Sunflower123
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#141
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At least the traffic delay didn't last long. But like I said, they had my lane for the way home blocked so who knows. I just took the other way home. My doctor's office called and told me that all my blood levels are normal including thyroid and A1C. She said I am NOT in menopause! So the hot flashes are a mystery. Maybe its my huge breasts heating me up! I know I'd feel better if I could take them OFF! I watered my new plants today. I think they'll need daily watering. I also ordered a book on Sunday that is scheduled to arrive anywhere between 4:15 and 6:15 today. It's supposed to be hot later in the week- 90 I think on Friday! Well I'm off to find something to eat. More later!
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Qui Cantat Bis Orat ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 3 mg Gabapentin 300 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily Mania Sept/Oct 2024 Mania (July/August 2024) Mania (December 2023) Mixed episode/Hypomania (September 2023) Depression, Anxiety and Intrusive thoughts (September 2021) Depression & Psychosis (July/August 2021) |
![]() *Beth*, buddha1too, Nammu, Soupe du jour, Sunflower123, ~Christina
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#142
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The drive to the veterans admin was tiring, but very smooth. A lot of traffic, but amazingly not all backed up. To my great relief, my husband doesn't seem to have a truly dangerous eye illness. The 2 optometrists he saw are trying to figure out what's going on; they have some speculation that it's a something-something (can't recall the name), which is fairly easily treated with laser. We go back next week so they can check him out some more. So, a tiring day, but a good one.
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![]() Anonymous41462, Anonymous45023, buddha1too, Sunflower123, ~Christina
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![]() Sunflower123, ~Christina
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#143
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![]() 20+ ish years ago I was on Halcion which is notorious for sleep walking etc. I woke up one morning and walked in the kitchen and I had baked 4-5 cakes and frosted them pretty! had zero memory. Another time I woke up and swore it was time to go to work. I got up and did my whole morning routine shower hair makeup, packed lunch and got my daughter up and all ready for school.. she was about 9... Got in the car and went to turn on the radio and the clock said 1.35 am !!! Ahhhhh I went into hysterics.. Were you able to go back to sleep ????
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Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
![]() Anonymous45023, Soupe du jour, Sunflower123
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#144
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The only thing I did today besides dinner is clean the bathrooms
![]() I know that my Bipolar just being so jacked up is the cause, well my pain is high but that has seldom ever gotten between me and my cleaning.. At this point I am going to have to just figure out life on Lamictal, Doxepin and Xanax which I suspect the NP I will be seeing is going to take me off it. I try not to go down the rabbit hole, but it happens. I have 147+ coping skills but nothing thus far is sticking ![]() Oh ok I have something that is rather shocking to me. My husband is just not a reader, even in school he hated to read a book. He just can't stay focused. Anyway we have watched the movie " The Shack" a zillion times and I always say the movie is okay but oh the book is of course much better ! He said he wanted to read it ![]() I read all the time and always have, its my escape! well lately I have trouble focusing. But my favorite Author has released another book in the series.. 19 so far and he had no plans to stop Thankfully.. So anyone have a Magic wand and can help a girl out?
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Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
![]() *Beth*, Anonymous45023, buddha1too, Nammu, Soupe du jour, Sunflower123
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#145
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@~Christina I am not in a purely DBT program as I refused to do that. I am in a general adult psych PHP. However I am trying to keep an open mind because they do have some DBT courses as a part of the general curriculum.
I see met with my therapist and made a safety plan today. I meet the pdoc tomorrow and seriously not a moment too soon. I was a complete wreck today. I was depressed this morning BUT I woke up at 6:30am which is way earlier than I usually get up if I don’t have to be up for work. I was a little agitated by the noise, had to mute the group a couple of times but there’s no way to turn on captions so I have to turn it back on to make sure no ones talking to me. So I was a bit agitated during DBT but I was able to be honest during process group about the fact that I self harmed yesterday. But when I realized the final group of the day was art???? Oh my god I can’t even explain what happened. I FLIPPED MY *****. I got completely consumed by rage. I mean I wanted to slash my computer screen. I have no idea why! I mean just because it was art therapy and I don’t like art therapy? That deserves rage? And then during my safety plan meeting I was crying at every answer. And then, AND THEN, it just...went away??? Like now I’m totally happy and fine with life. I’m feeling very sped up but in a “good” way, not a stabby way. I took extra seroquel to hopefully fall asleep at some point tonight. I took 100mg which is the max recommended by another pdoc last summer when I wasn’t sleeping. Damn I just hope tomorrow is at least one mood, whatever mood it lands on.
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Of course it is happening inside your head. But why on earth should that mean that it is not real? -Albus Dumbledore That’s life. If nothing else, that is life. It’s real. Sometimes it f—-ing hurts. But it’s sort of all we have. -Garden State |
![]() *Beth*, Anonymous45023, buddha1too, Nammu, Soupe du jour, Sunflower123, ~Christina
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![]() Soupe du jour, ~Christina
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#146
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Hey! Yeah sorry about thinking it was just DBT, I do understand your frustration about that. I am so sorry that you are going through such torment ![]() I'm hoping that the Pdoc can find a medication that can help break this episode up. You so need a break sooner rather than later. I'm sorry you self harmed ![]()
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Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
![]() *Beth*, Soupe du jour, Sunflower123, wildflowerchild25
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![]() *Beth*, Soupe du jour
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#147
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I'm here. I'm just quiet. I don't know how my appointments will go on Thursday. We're going fully vegetarian when our meat runs out. I hate this, I'm going to bed hopefully tomorrow will be better.
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Dx: Me- SzA Husband- Bipolar 1 Daughter- mood disorder+ Comfortable broken and happy "So I don't know why I'm tongue tied At the wrong time when I need this."- P!nk My blog |
![]() *Beth*, buddha1too, Soupe du jour, Sunflower123, ~Christina
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![]() Soupe du jour, ~Christina
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#148
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I am livid about something my husband did. I won't go into it, but I wish I could shake the heck out of him. What's so uncomfortable is that my husband's action really hurts the feelings of the handyman friend we have over now. I'm so embarrassed that I hardly want to look at this handyman friend because of my husband's (and to a small degree even my) actions. If I were the handyman, I'd want to immediately leave. We don't want him to, though.
What is so awkward about the above is that I wish I could apologize to the handyman friend. But I can't, because of the language barrier. I wrote my sister-in-law asking if she thinks it would be appropriate to apologize to him, on my behalf. If she thinks it is, then I asked for her to do so, for me. I managed to push some homemade bean and beef chili on our handyman friend. I'm unsure if he liked it or not, and I don't think he's ever had it before. I think it rocks, but it is spicy, obviously. For some reason I have grown to love spicy stuff more and more as I've aged. More so than my husband. I might even add some Tabasco sauce to my own, as a drizzle on the top. Last edited by Soupe du jour; May 19, 2021 at 06:38 AM. |
![]() *Beth*, Anonymous41462, Anonymous45023, buddha1too, Nammu, Sunflower123, wildflowerchild25, ~Christina
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![]() ~Christina
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#149
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Oh, ugh. Didn’t sleep last night. Tossed and turned so much I had to get up and remake the bed. After that I settled down and was able to just lay and zen. Today I meet the new doctor. I’m nervous now because here the general GP does everything. And I never know how GPS feel about mental illnesses. My arms are very scared up thanks to ADs that threw me into mixed states. My thrush looks better with the home remedies but it’s still there I hope he doesn’t desmiss it. Oh gees I hate taking a shower after a night of being awake the water feels like pins and needles.
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Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
![]() *Beth*, Anonymous41462, Anonymous45023, BeyondtheRainbow, buddha1too, Soupe du jour, Sunflower123, ~Christina
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![]() ~Christina
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#150
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I just came back from getting my second shot. The pharmacist was really confused by my name and then how I looked. Which I guess is good but I really need to start the process of changing my name and gender. But he was all like “oh, ok.” When I told him I was trans. But I wouldn’t get on a flight right now. TSA can be assholes I’ve heard to anybody. I wouldn’t try to cross the border either right now. But so far I feel ok. I’m getting tired but I was also in the process of having an anxiety attack for 30 minutes before we got to the store. My old therapist says you can get pretty exhausted just from extreme stress alone. I’m still getting adjusted to my town and while it’s safe I can still get a bit spooked. Also the Walmart where I go to now is the type of Walmart where half the people shopping are in their pajamas or in some other goofy type of outfit.
But yeah just the tiredness for right now. I could use some Tylenol. It’s not as bad as my first was. I’m not sure how bad it will get. Edit: can’t tell if I have massive hunger pangs or nausea. I have some slight pain in my lower left side. I have chills. My headache is still there. I’m going to take Tylenol now. My temp is exact normal. My tiredness isn’t bad. It’s the kind of tired I get when I don’t go back to bed after taking my Geodon. First one was still worse in my opinion.
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"Good morning starshine.... the earth says hello"- Willy Wonka Last edited by Mountaindewed; May 19, 2021 at 01:35 PM. |
![]() *Beth*, Anonymous41462, Sunflower123, ~Christina
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