Bipolar check-in #62

I had a meeting with my med provider. The lithium that I asked repeatedly to be taken off of has done some damage to my kidneys and my platelets are high enough that they want me to take a baby aspirin a day as a precaution for heart attack or stroke until platelets come down. I am not a happy camper.

Otherwise life is treating me kindly. I have been worried because my boyfriend has not been feeling well for a week or two. He’ll have a physical and bloodwork next week. Really happy about that.

I hope everyone has a peaceful day.

Jennifer, did they finally take you off the lithium or did they just add the aspirin? Take care.

Yeah it was helpful. Monday night I was unsure and I needed to talk to someone but I didnt know who to call. I didnt want to call a crisis line because I was just really anxious. Not in a crisis. so I was trying to find a number where I could just talk to someone. But I wanted to text instead of talk but I couldnt find a number like that.

@~Christina

I am glad that you have richard in your life.
sorry for your storm coming. we have gusts up to 30mph
and rain predicted for the day tomorrow.100%.

but not a lot so that is good.
of course I am still working.worked and will continue
to work saturdays until I am caught up.
I had covid last month and stayed isolated 2 weeks

of work to reschedule.
I don't think that the test was accurate though.

I think it was sinuses acting up with a nasty cough.

that was it.I slept a lot. delsom was great cough syrup.

Until the prescription stuff came in. He called me in an antibiotic
and an inhaler which I did not pick up because I was not that bad.

Just a cough. Thank goodness.
How are you feeling after your fall.
So sorry you fell.
lots of love bizi

I slept well, and Im awake at a normal hour! its 7am and I dont feel so overwhelmingly tired like I have been feeling. I dont by any chance think this is me out of this episode yet, but its certainly progress! Ill probably need to nap later, but I can do that and still do other things during the day if I feel up to it.
Ive contacted some friends too (I always ignore messages when Im having a depressive episode) so thats also progress. Hopefully this will keep up.
My anxiety is still through the roof but I dont think that will reduce until Ive sorted everything at work. I have a few meetings that I need to have which are worrying me
I hope everyone has had or is having a great sleep!

Tuesday night I didn't get to sleep until 6:30 AM and then I couldn't nap so I was very tired last night. I don't even known when I fell asleep. I know my reminder to do my Bible study when off at 11:30 and then that's it. My pdoc told me to start taking an extra 1/2 to 1 mg klonopin every day until I am through my surgery and calm down a bit. I didn't even get to time to take it.


I've ben really upset that my therapist would terminate me because we had a disagreement Monday. Not a big one but I still was left worried. In reality we moved on to something else and so I know it's fine but I also know he was pretty upset. Initially he didn't understand what I said and was really upset and then when I explained again it was like he couldn't totally let it go and I felt defensive. It was a mess. Then I cancelled my appointment for 2 days before my surgery because my pre-op overlaps my appointment. The receptionist was weird, demanding to know why I was cancelling. I felt like saying it was none of her business but I was so surprised I just answered. I've never been treated like that in 22 years at this center. I don't know why she was like that. I'm going with bad day but at first I felt like my therapist had shared his anger and she was reacting with angerr too. Not something that would really happen but hard to not feel weird about it.

Anyway after sleep I feel a lot less paranoid about that whole thing. I'll dealw ith it on Monday when I actually see my therapist. Until then I've got enough to worrry about with upcoming surgery. Minor surgery but still surgery. And at a different place than I've ever had surgery which is a big deal with my MAOI.

I hope I can sleep some more now. My meds haven't worn off and typing is hard. more sleep would be great.

Well I drove back down (2 hours) to see my fiance instead of waiting until tomorrow when the storm is supposed to hit.
Its very gusty but with just a few sleet showers so far. I think there is a red weather warning further down south in the UK, I hope everyone stays safe

We're supposed to be going to a wedding show on saturday but I'll see how I feel. Ive not gone out much this week except to walk the dog.
I had to leave the dog with my mum because of the wedding show. My Mum was getting all stressed about the wedding. I couldnt really be bothered with it.
This will be the longest Ive ever left him since I got him. 3 nights

At least Im making future plans! This is good progress

I took the Klonopin this morning. My pdoc wanted me to try 1/2 mg first but it didn't really do much after a couple of hours so I took the other 1/2 and things are much better now.

The anxiety is a lot less but I'm feeling slower overall but I guess that's to be expected.

I fell on the ice the other day while taking out the garbage. I fell on my back. I had to crawl of the ice to get my footing. I'm not hurt at all, so it's all good. More of a hurt pride kind of thing.

Ugh

I've deleted many posts today so I won't start a rant here.



Horrible, horrible day.... one of many

Oh.. but I ''should''.... Yada Yada Yada. Those idiots in my head I'm so tired of them

And Yet ANOTHER NUISANCE CALL. They have to stop, UGH

I've been burnt out by someone (not anyone on msf) so I'm now.....

I had a meeting with my med provider. The lithium that I asked repeatedly to be taken off of has done some damage to my kidneys and my platelets are high enough that they want me to take a baby aspirin a day as a precaution for heart attack or stroke until platelets come down. I am not a happy camper.

Otherwise life is treating me kindly. I have been worried because my boyfriend has not been feeling well for a week or two. He’ll have a physical and bloodwork next week. Really happy about that.

I hope everyone has a peaceful day.

Whoever said the am seroquel dose was going to be ok (I can’t remember **** at this point so whoever it was thank you) was right. I was tired and yawning but I didn’t start to slur my words or anything. It actually calmed me a little bit for a couple of hours but only enough so I could sit still. At least it was something.

After it wore off though my day went to hell. I was super glad it was a half day for the students. I couldn’t have taken a whole day. I barely took the full day. I called pdoc back and the desk said she had a cancellation today so I left early and went to that. She upped the seroquel XR again, 400mg now. She’s hoping that will get me out of this horrible episode.

She asked me if I thought IP would help, I said no. She said maybe I should take a few days off work and she would write me out. I said I’d think about it. I have a 4 day weekend so maybe by Tuesday I’ll feel better. She also suggested that I could go back to IOP but I really don’t know, I don’t really think therapy is the issue here. And I don’t wanna be out of work for three months, AND the one I was in last time was hospital happy and told RS every little ****ing thing.

I really do need to tell RS about the SH and SI thoughts though bc I think I’m gonna need his help staying safe.



I have to keep myself busy tomorrow. I think I’m going to do my hair and also clean this place, like everything I can get my hands on. It’ll get some energy out. I can take a walk in the AM as it’s supposed to be near 60 (but super windy) but it’s gonna drop down quickly to 35. I kind of want to go to the grocery store for some produce but I’d have to go as soon as they open because I’d get too angry if there’s too many people there.

Wish me luck.

I can’t wait for you to have the surgery to just it over with and then you can recover. Does this hospital understand the issues of being on Maio ? Like I’m sure they do but I’d want reassured they do.


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Hi--thanks for the response to my post yesterday. This seems to be a good thread for getting to know some of the active members here. I've been reading the posts but there's a lot to take in. Sorry so many people are having such difficult problems to deal with. But at least we keep going, don't we? It's good to see. Maybe it will help someone to know that I've been dealing with this for 10 years, and taking pills, and am still making sense (or mostly anyway.)

I slept about 4 hours last night, which is better than 0, 1, 2, or 3 (still not back up to the full dose of lamotrigine, or really of the mirtazipine either, although I don't remember if you're supposed to increase that one slowly.) About 4 hours of sleep is enough to be able to drive safely, so I went to the grocery store and now I'm good for a while if sleep continues to play hard to get.

Best wishes for you to have some good news to report tomorrow, but if not, at least we don't have to suffer alone.

Well the storms were awful but they passed, 68-69 today and whooosh the nasty wind is now blowing ice cold and I have to drop faucets tonight

Oh I’m ready for spring !!!

I asked my GP Tuesday to switch my Bacolfin to Skelaxin and I’m not feeling much help but then again with all my Chronic pain problems I know I can’t expect much.

Hope everyone has a good night

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