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  #876  
Old Feb 26, 2022, 08:39 AM
Soupe du jour Soupe du jour is offline
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Our friend joined us for the attic cleanup project. We made outstanding progress! I was proud of my hubby for his initiative in giving up certain things. Our last efforts will be to find any residual mouse debris and get rid of it. It seems like we may have gotten rid of them. We now have various "anti-mouse" tools. In addition to many boxes worth of stuff "gone", we also plan to better organize it all.

After the work, I offered lunch to our friend. I made homemade crepe cheese manicotti with an simple arugula salad and rosemary baguette. For a dessert we had a fresh fruit salad with espresso. Both Hubby and I are now taking it easy. I adequately cleaned up the kitchen.

I'm not looking forward to my nephrologist appointment next Friday. There are a number of preparations I need to do that I never had to do for my nephrologist in the US. I guess it'll be more thorough, then.
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Psych Medications:
* Tegretol XR (carbamazepine ER) 800 mg
* Lamictal (lamotrigine) 150 mg
* Seroquel XR (quetiapine ER) 500 mg

I also take meds for blood pressure, cholesterol, and tachycardia.

Last edited by Soupe du jour; Feb 26, 2022 at 09:35 AM.
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  #877  
Old Feb 26, 2022, 09:12 AM
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MuddyBoots MuddyBoots is offline
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The first few nights at my dad's went OK. Not great, not horrible. It's different. I feel like we're more roommates than father-daughter.
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"I don't know what I'm looking for."
"Why not?"
"Because...because...I think it might be because if I knew I wouldn't be able to look for them."
"What, are you crazy?"
"It's a possibility I haven't ruled out yet,"
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  #878  
Old Feb 26, 2022, 10:22 AM
Anonymous 42424
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The walk outside did me good. I feel a bit better, but tired. I am going to do housework for a couple of hours and then start the weekend. If I don't see you during the rest of the weekend, I send good wishes to everybody!
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  #879  
Old Feb 26, 2022, 11:00 AM
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Mountaindewed Mountaindewed is offline
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I feel pretty good today but I often do the day after my shot. Plus I took my meds correctly. I took an 80 mil Geodon in the AM like I am prescribed. So I was able to go to the grocery store without anxiety and actually get shopping done and find what I need. I got my shot before the doctors yesterday and I'm glad I got it one last time before going off it for 3 months because it does cause a pretty rough physical withdrawel for a few days. I had to go off it for 2 weeks in November and I was such a lethargic mess and we were on a trip then too and all I could do was lie in bed at the hotel while my mom and brother went out. But I have my trip next week and I'd like to be able to be fully functional for it. I have a lot planned.

But I feel more postive then I did yesterday about everything. I hope this change really is postive and paves the way for me going back to my 2016-fall 2019 stable self where I was working part time without an issue and I just felt and was very stable mental health wise. And I hope when I go back on it things are still stable.

I got my med box filled up for next week so thats done. I'm almost done with my laundry. I'm waiting on a couple things from Amazon. Today was just an uneventful Saturday. I'd be ok if my family did or didnt come over tomorrow. It doesn't really matter one way or the other. My therapist wants me to use my support system more and I guess that means not hiding out in my room when they are over.
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Last edited by Mountaindewed; Feb 26, 2022 at 01:24 PM.
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  #880  
Old Feb 26, 2022, 01:44 PM
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Succulents333 Succulents333 is offline
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Mixed day. Had a stressful week with little sleep and starting to feel a little manic. Yesterday evening I took my "as needed" medication so I would be able to calm down and get a little sleep. It worked but it always makes me very lethargic the next day so I spent the first half of today sleeping.

Went for a walk later today which was enjoyable, especially with the weather. I'm still feeling rather unstable and like I'm going to have an episode but not entirely sure what kind. Either way, it's stressful. On the bright side, I have an appointment with my psychiatrist Wednesday which is reassuring.
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  #881  
Old Feb 26, 2022, 02:25 PM
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MuddyBoots MuddyBoots is offline
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I’m at the hospital not for anything mental health related but I tried street skiing and fked up my hip. Wish me luck.

edit: yeah, I’m gonna need some pins
__________________
"I don't know what I'm looking for."
"Why not?"
"Because...because...I think it might be because if I knew I wouldn't be able to look for them."
"What, are you crazy?"
"It's a possibility I haven't ruled out yet,"

Last edited by MuddyBoots; Feb 26, 2022 at 03:41 PM.
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  #882  
Old Feb 26, 2022, 02:31 PM
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Sunflower123 Sunflower123 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sapien View Post
I’m at the hospital not for anything mental health related but I tried street skiing and fked up my hip. Wish me luck.
I’m so sorry that happened. I hope things get straightened out quickly.
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  #883  
Old Feb 26, 2022, 02:33 PM
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Sunflower123 Sunflower123 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GoGo2 View Post
I was crying in my sleep and woke up with tears running down at my cheek this morning. Yesterday was hard, but I still don't have the energy to rewrite the post I lost. I ask to be excused if I am not able to answer all the posts where the poster tells about feeling down.

I had a hypomanic experience some days ago, wrote to my GP. The GP was not at work that day and another answered my post (they are allowed to do so).

The problem was that he misunderstood my post and I have been in some sort of chaos since then, but after some hours at the breakfast table (European time) I feel a bit better, so now I will take a walk and then try to continue to use my time on making ready for the moving even if my feelings are on the edge.
Thinking of you and wishing you well
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  #884  
Old Feb 26, 2022, 02:52 PM
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Sunflower123 Sunflower123 is offline
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Well I changed my phone number and have given it to exactly 4 people - my mom, my daughter, a friend and my therapist. I’m going to keep this close to the vest. I can’t even remember what it is right now.

It will be harder to change my email address so I think I’ll keep it.

I woke up crying and have had periods of sobbing but I am having periods of peace as well. I realize that this is for the best and I have to love and value myself enough to walk away and keep walking. I lost my best friend as well as my love so it’s been a double whammy. When will I be over it? I don’t know.

Now for some good news - I’m closer to my mother and daughter then ever before and I will be traveling half way to visit my daughter next weekend. I’ve settled on some new dreams and goals and I have a new sense of self respect. I’m headed to the Smokies in March with M, I’ll start working on getting the pool ready in April and head to Florida in May. I’m down but not out!

I hope everyone has a peaceful weekend
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  #885  
Old Feb 26, 2022, 03:00 PM
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Sunflower123 Sunflower123 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WindsThatBlow View Post
Really struggling. Please lift me up in your thoughts. I'm doing all I can to make it. [not in crisis but it's rough.]
Lifting you up in my thoughts. I hope things get better.
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  #886  
Old Feb 26, 2022, 03:54 PM
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Sunflower123 Sunflower123 is offline
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Talked to daughter for awhile and going out to dinner with friends now. Made plans for every day next week. Things are looking up!

Wishing everyone a peaceful evening.
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  #887  
Old Feb 26, 2022, 04:17 PM
*Beth* *Beth* is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by whatever2013 View Post
@wildflowerchild25:

Sorry to hear things continue to be difficult. I hope you will discuss the option of disability benefits with your treatment team when you are IP. Otherwise, i don't see anything changing. A dysfunctional part of you that you're not in touch with may be enjoying the endless crises. It *is* very exciting, after all...

I became a Crisis Junkie after my life fell apart when i was 29. I wasn't particularly happy when someone pointed it out to me, but she was right. I feel it would be irresponsible of me not to share the incident with you as much as you might not want to hear it. Maybe i'm just talking about myself, you decide.

I wish you the best.

I appreciate your opinion and it certainly applies in some cases. I don't believe that wfc is a crisis junkie, however. Quite the opposite - I see her as being too hard on herself, pushing far beyond the time when she needed to accept a higher level of help. I do agree that checking out disability is a smart idea.
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  #888  
Old Feb 26, 2022, 04:22 PM
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tentoedsloth tentoedsloth is offline
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It's been a very unhappy day for me, so far.

I was trying to "get used to" the things that bother me the most, but then thought, "Maybe I shouldn't be trying to get used to it. These are things I care a lot about! Maybe I should be DOING SOMETHING about it."

The problem is that I don't know anything to do that is guaranteed effective, that might not just make it worse.

This is how to be tormented by your own mind.

Maybe what I need to accept is that with things being this way, caring greatly about something, wanting to do something, but not knowing what to do--I am just going to be unhappy all my life. Feels like it right now.

I'm not thinking of quitting, my life or this group, but I can't think of anything encouraging to say to anybody.

If I somehow feel better I'll post again ASAP.

EDIT TO ADD that I already had one positive thought. When you're stuck like that, not having anything to do except what might be more harm than help, that's when you kind of have to just get used to it, right? Maybe I can, maybe I can't, but it's a positive thought instead of the circular stuff.
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Last edited by tentoedsloth; Feb 26, 2022 at 04:49 PM.
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  #889  
Old Feb 26, 2022, 04:38 PM
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tentoedsloth tentoedsloth is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Succulents333 View Post
Mixed day. Had a stressful week with little sleep and starting to feel a little manic. Yesterday evening I took my "as needed" medication so I would be able to calm down and get a little sleep. It worked but it always makes me very lethargic the next day so I spent the first half of today sleeping.

Went for a walk later today which was enjoyable, especially with the weather. I'm still feeling rather unstable and like I'm going to have an episode but not entirely sure what kind. Either way, it's stressful. On the bright side, I have an appointment with my psychiatrist Wednesday which is reassuring.
I'm not feeling very positive today but you gave me something positive to say, so thanks! It's this: I like your name and your picture.

And of course I hope that things get better, for you and me both.
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  #890  
Old Feb 26, 2022, 04:50 PM
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Nammu Nammu is offline
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Depression is tugging on the edges of my world. It takes a lot for me to do the daily things that must be done. I dragged myself to the store and was so overwhelmed by choices. I didn’t make a list so was just going up and down the aisles. Ended up with a hodgepodge of items. 4 packages of cookies because mum asked me to get a box and I couldn’t decide on one. They have a long shelf life so they can go in the pantry. My pdoc appointment is still a month away. I can’t afford to go dormant. I’ve mum to care for. My last depression lasted 14 months. I only left my apartment to get litter and cat food. That was prepandemic and stores were open 24 hours. I only went out at 2 am cause no people. I can’t expect mum to go without food.
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  #891  
Old Feb 26, 2022, 05:01 PM
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tentoedsloth tentoedsloth is offline
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@Nammu

Hi, sister. At least we're in this together.
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  #892  
Old Feb 26, 2022, 05:47 PM
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xRavenx xRavenx is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pinny View Post
I hope you have managed or are managing to have a restful sleep!
I’m sorry yesterday was a bad day for you later on.
I hope you are feeling a bit better today, maybe reaching out and apologising to people you could have upset would be a good place to begin? We all have off days.
I’m glad you felt able to share on here though, I think it’s important not to bottle things up.
Thank you. I actually did apologize to 2 people, and they were cool about it. I am still feeling depressed today, but I accomplished a couple of small things instead of just staying in bed all day.

Hugs to everyone in need
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  #893  
Old Feb 26, 2022, 06:12 PM
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otroo otroo is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GoGo2 View Post
You are in my thoughts!
Thank you

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  #894  
Old Feb 26, 2022, 06:21 PM
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otroo otroo is offline
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Went to my church program yesterday and it helped with some of my depression. I went to my parents today and had lunch with them.
My dad asked me today if I wanted to do a food/ roadtrip lol. He has all these restaurants that him and I have eaten at over the last 10 years. I am also happy that I got to invite my daughter to go with us and she thinks she might get to go.

My daughter and I have had a real rocky past with each other we were always arguing and fighting it was a real toxic relationship. Well when her mother passed away out relationship has done a 180 flip. She has been my major supporter since then. We get along really good right now. I have agreed to go to her counselor to hash out some of the problems we had in the past. Now that might be like a year out and that was her idea cause neither of us want to add to the stresses that we are already going through.

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  #895  
Old Feb 26, 2022, 07:01 PM
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Sunflower123 Sunflower123 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nammu View Post
Depression is tugging on the edges of my world. It takes a lot for me to do the daily things that must be done. I dragged myself to the store and was so overwhelmed by choices. I didn’t make a list so was just going up and down the aisles. Ended up with a hodgepodge of items. 4 packages of cookies because mum asked me to get a box and I couldn’t decide on one. They have a long shelf life so they can go in the pantry. My pdoc appointment is still a month away. I can’t afford to go dormant. I’ve mum to care for. My last depression lasted 14 months. I only left my apartment to get litter and cat food. That was prepandemic and stores were open 24 hours. I only went out at 2 am cause no people. I can’t expect mum to go without food.
So sorry to hear this. I hope things turn around quickly for you.
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  #896  
Old Feb 26, 2022, 07:16 PM
Anonymous41462
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@wildflowerchild25 and @BethRags and all:

I'm sorry for my previous post about me being a crisis junkie. It was hurtful years ago when i was in crisis at the time and the doctor said it. It was not helpful. Upon reflection, years later when i was long stable, i came to see that it was true, but it was damaging at the time and Tara i am sorry if i have added to your pain.
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  #897  
Old Feb 26, 2022, 07:42 PM
Anonymous41462
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@Nammu:

So sorry to hear you are also struggling with the tasks of everyday living. I've taken to ordering everything. Is that an option for you, where you live? It's miraculous, just tap tap tap on the computer and presto! The groceries are at my door. It's expensive tho. I tell myself it's okay because i am saving on bus fare, but that doesn't really cover it.

Anyways, hope your depression doesn't get worse and hang around. I can see how you might feel extra pressure because you have your mom depending on you and your last depression was so intense. Will the change of season help? I usually feel better in the Spring and here we are running out the last days of February... !

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  #898  
Old Feb 26, 2022, 07:51 PM
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Mountaindewed Mountaindewed is offline
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I guess the 8AM blood test on Monday is a coritsol blood test. I'm not really sure what he is looking for. I don't think I've ever had one done before.

My anxiety was rough this afternoon and it still is tonight. I am also nauseated. I was able to watch TV though which helped with distraction. I've eaten today and I've eaten a lot of vegetables and protein. My mom got another vegetable tray the other day. I got this caffeine free coffee cola Lacroix water and it tastes good but it smells really bad and I have an open can by my bed right now and it smells like someone left some milk out for 3 days. I'm about ready to just chug it to get rid of it. I often leave Lacroix out overnight and its fine but I don't leave out ones that smell bad.

But my fate lies in getting off my injections for 3 months and getting my mental health back and also to contiune losing weight and eating healthy.
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  #899  
Old Feb 26, 2022, 08:20 PM
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Nammu Nammu is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by whatever2013 View Post
@Nammu:

So sorry to hear you are also struggling with the tasks of everyday living. I've taken to ordering everything. Is that an option for you, where you live? It's miraculous, just tap tap tap on the computer and presto! The groceries are at my door. It's expensive tho. I tell myself it's okay because i am saving on bus fare, but that doesn't really cover it.

Anyways, hope your depression doesn't get worse and hang around. I can see how you might feel extra pressure because you have your mom depending on you and your last depression was so intense. Will the change of season help? I usually feel better in the Spring and here we are running out the last days of February... !

My ups and downs have never been affected by external stimulus. I wish because usually I love the longer days and brightness of spring. I was so looking forward to it. March 1st is my first day back at aqua fitness so I’m hoping if I push myself I’ll avoid disaster. I’m hoping this is just a mild tugging and my meds keep working.
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…Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …...
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  #900  
Old Feb 26, 2022, 09:02 PM
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Sunflower123 Sunflower123 is offline
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My daughter got ahold of me tonight and boy howdy she should be a psychologist. By the time she was through with me there was no emotional pain, no desire to renew the relationship and a list of areas for me to work on for myself. I feel hopeful, excited and relieved. Moving on now. God bless that young woman. I love her so and I appreciate her wisdom.

I hope everyone has a peaceful Sunday
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