Bipolar check-in #65

Thank you Beth and Christina. I'm trying to breathe but I want to self destruct. Unfortunately or fortunately our house guests haven't gone to bed so I can't self destruct.

Quote:

Originally Posted by convalescence I agree. Have you tried Remeron? Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Yes, I have. Unfortunately, another med that caused me to be hungry but didn't help in any way. My fear is that there isn't anything that will help me fall asleep, short of a large dose of an antipsychotic

Quote:

Originally Posted by Miguel'smom Thank you Beth and Christina. I'm trying to breathe but I want to self destruct. Unfortunately or fortunately our house guests haven't gone to bed so I can't self destruct.

Sometimes...I think to myself that it sucks having kids and having pets, because as long as I have them I have to stay alive. And I think how am I supposed to do that when I am so effing tired. But then I just make myself keep going because I have to be here for them. It sounds simple. Maybe it is simple.

@*Beth*

I’m so sorry you’re still struggling. Sometimes we can accept our dx of bipolar and even years later struggle to accept it again. I have ideas in my head that I might be able to go off meds if I can settle my trauma as well, but in my heart I know that’s not true. The best thing that can happen is I can go back to being on just depakote and lamictal. That would be wonderful. Even without the vraylar I’m still on six others.

Vraylar might work for you but it is also expensive. I just happen to have excellent prescription coverage so after the annual deductible they’re basically free. Sometimes they are free. Also, I tend to have the worst, rarest side effects lol, to the point where doctors will tell me my side effect is not even a side effect of that medication (a quick internet search always says otherwise). But in terms of weight gain, that is a known and common vraylar side effect, so if you don’t want that stay away.

I hope you do start the lamictal at least until you can get further in your trauma work. And I hope your therapist comes back soon, and that you can get some good sleep!

Sending healing vibes your way

Ps - and I agree with Christina

@~Christina, it has become quite clear to me, from seeing photos, that your sweet furry little dude is totally in love with you. Is he also a mamma's boy?

Today's been quiet in my household, but pleasant. Hubby made me a homemade rhubarb strudel apparently at 2 am last night, then bragged about it to his sister in a text. S-i-l told me on the phone this morning. It's one of only two desserts he's ever made. I'm usually the sole cook/baker.

The sun is shining, but we're inside being lazy. Wish it would rain already. It never rains here. All of the yellow pollen is everywhere. We had to hose down our white car.

This weekend we're going into Prague for a classical music concert. Today is the start of the "Prague Spring" music festival that is held each year, and is a famous one in Europe. I sort of wish we didn't have it, because I'd rather putz around home before our second big trip in June. A couple weeks from now there's yet another concert in Prague we're supposed to see. Luckily both times we can stay at a friend's apartment. The concert we see this weekend starts at 9 pm. Ugh! I'm usually already tired by that time. Unless I'm hypomanic or manic, I am not a night owl. Seroquel XR also makes late nights rare. And yet, if I take the Seroquel XR too late at night, it makes getting going in the morning harder. 7 pm is my usual evening meds time that works best.

Really nervous to try Depakote. I think that I’m going to try it tonight. If I had known that my therapist was going to call off I would have already taken it.

All you can do is try to see if it works for you. I’ve been on it for years and I’ve never had an issue, no side effects unless the dosage gets too high. Seems for me 1250mg is the perfect amount.

Do keep up on the bloodwork as you taper up though, you don’t want your liver enzymes or blood levels to get too high.

Yeah I agree with the whole sleep aspect of mental health. No matter what time I go to bed I am up between 4 or 5. Both my wife and I used to go to bed by 8pm cause we would both be up really early mine was between 0400 to 0500 and my wife would be up by 2 or 3. We found going to bed at 8pm put us in a good spot. I still get up 3 or 4 times a night to use the bathroom though. I have tried going to bed earlier and later but 8 works the best for me. I go and see my pdoc today and I am going to see about a new sleep medication. Hope he gives me something good that works. If not I will seek out a new doctor. I like this guy for his personality but the way he has handled my medications since I started seeing him does not impress at all.

Sent from my SM-T733 using Tapatalk

Haven't been around for a while, just popping in.

So sorry your at this point. But love is a very positive attribute to have.

My anxiety level is so high that I had a panic attack that incapacitated me. I was not able to make my 10:15 about the chest pain and shortness of breath. I rescheduled it for 2:30. I am currently on the deck in the sunshine with some honey lavender stress relief tea trying to calm down. Anxiety is the pits.

I took an inventory of my life on my birthday and I have made great progress over the last year. Currently, I feel a bit of a hot mess. I can’t seem to keep all the balls in the air. It’s overwhelming to me. Where do I start building a more stress free life?

I hope everyone has a peaceful day today. Hugs to all.

Was so nice to be back home. My sister and bil are casual and good hosts but I’m always glad to be home sleep in my own bed. I’m down to 15 mg and doing ok. I don’t fall asleep as quickly and as always I wake up far too early. But today I was determined to stay in bed a while. I did eventually fall asleep and have a short little dream. 😃 so altogether I’d say about 6 hours, for me that’s pretty good.

I think its just that day before my shot time for me today. My sleep was a mess last night and my anxiety and moods werent great either. I was pretty heavy on the caffeine and really low on food though which didn't help. Finally I just said F it and I got my shot a couple hours ago which is a day early but not a big deal. I then went to the grocery store because I needed bottled water and I almost had a panic attack just because my agoraphobia has been so bad and its warm outside so I couldnt wear a hoodie and I felt vulnerable in my t shirt and shorts despite looking fine, and no one paid me any attention. I almost passed out but I think it was more from the lack of food I had and the large amount of caffeine I consumed. The heat wasn't helping either. Once I got home I ate a Lunchable that came with a bottle of water and a little KooI Aid packet and I felt a lot better both physically and mentally. I have a message into my doctor since this throat thing is still obnoxious. Hopefully he gets back before the weekend. So this morning was rough but things are starting to calm down after getting my shot and eating something.

Quote:

Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25 @*Beth* I’m so sorry you’re still struggling. Sometimes we can accept our dx of bipolar and even years later struggle to accept it again. I have ideas in my head that I might be able to go off meds if I can settle my trauma as well, but in my heart I know that’s not true. The best thing that can happen is I can go back to being on just depakote and lamictal. That would be wonderful. Even without the vraylar I’m still on six others. ... Sending healing vibes your way Ps - and I agree with Christina

Thank you, wfc. How true it is that we have to re-accept our diagnosis on repeat. And every time feels like starting all over again, at least initially. And thank you for the healing vibes

Quote:

Originally Posted by otroo Yeah I agree with the whole sleep aspect of mental health. No matter what time I go to bed I am up between 4 or 5. Both my wife and I used to go to bed by 8pm cause we would both be up really early mine was between 0400 to 0500 and my wife would be up by 2 or 3. We found going to bed at 8pm put us in a good spot. I still get up 3 or 4 times a night to use the bathroom though. I have tried going to bed earlier and later but 8 works the best for me. I go and see my pdoc today and I am going to see about a new sleep medication. Hope he gives me something good that works. If not I will seek out a new doctor. I like this guy for his personality but the way he has handled my medications since I started seeing him does not impress at all. Sent from my SM-T733 using Tapatalk

Oh. meh - if the guy isn't handling your meds well, find a new prescriber. I prefer going to bed early, too. My husband comes to life at 9p.m., right when I'm getting really sleepy. He's an all-nighter, I'm not. One of the reasons we don't live together.

My spring-green bamboo blanket, which due to a bunch of hassle won't cost me anything, is finally out for delivery!

Woooooo I am finally in IOP!!!

Yay! 😃

I finally relented and ordered mens leather sandals. I much prefer their sandals to woman’s. My last pair lasted me about 12 years and I wore them all the time in Texas. In Minnesota I mostly wear crocs. But they are hot in the summer. So I found a pair of leather sandals on a try before you buy option.

Congratulations 🍾🎊🎉🎈

Oooooo yes he is and spoiled rotten

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I took Depakote a couple years ago. I had no initial side effects and it seemed to help a bit. I wasn’t able to stay in it. But I will say it was weight neutral. Hope it helps you

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Nice to see you

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Jennifer my heart breaks that your stress level has hit you so hard. I’m pleased that you’re able to see that you indeed have made positive changes in your life. That’s HUGE awareness.

Massive hugs

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Glad your home ! So happy that the taper is going well

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk